by J. E. Taylor
My phone buzzed. I pulled it out, staring at the unknown number blinking in my text messages. I pressed the button to open the preview. One word displayed. Mine. Along with a picture of Alex kissing Grace below the statement.
My hands burst into flame. Fire engulfed the phone, and I pitched it into the lake with a roar that echoed across the water.
A flock of birds took flight, swirling away from me like I was the evil one.
I wanted to burn the image from my own brain. I clenched my fists, putting out the fire before I gripped the edge of the swing. I just wanted to scream, but I didn’t want to wake everyone inside, if I hadn’t already with my initial outburst.
I glanced at where the phone had plunked into the water, sending ripples out from the point of impact. My breath caught in my throat. I had just destroyed the only thing I had with Alex’s texts on it.
I closed my eyes, and tears squeezed from the corners.
“Damn it.” I put my head against the back of the swing and wrapped my arms around myself, trying not to lose it yet again, but it was too late. Hot tears slipped down my cheeks, and one pooled by the corner of my mouth bringing with it a salty taste of failure.
“Why don’t you come in,” CJ said from a few feet away from me.
I jumped. I hadn’t heard him approach at all. He was like a silent ninja in that manner, and it piled onto my feeling of inadequacy.
I shook my head, wishing I had more control, but my tears wouldn’t stop.
He took a seat next to me and put his arm over the back of the chair. The heat from him seemed to warm the back of my neck, loosening some of the tightness. His legs pushed off with mine, giving the swing a wider arc.
He sniffled. “You know if you want your phone back, all you have to do is retrieve it with your mind.”
“It’s ruined,” I said with a voice so full of sorrow that I thought I would choke on it.
“I could probably get the data off the memory chip.” He kept the swing moving.
I finally looked at his profile. The corners of his lips dragged into a frown, and I caught a tear tracing the side of his face. It dripped down onto his T-shirt unchecked.
“You’re not the only one he’s taunting.” His voice cracked. “He said the things he would do would make my father’s transgressions seem like child’s play, and he’d make sure it was caught on film so my son’s face would be just as infamous as my dad’s.”
I huffed and looked out at the lake. “He sure knows how to push our buttons.”
CJ let out a small laugh. His loss scraped over my skin like a dull razor.
“You’ve already written him off.” I studied him again.
He lifted his shoulder. It wasn’t a confirmation or denial. “He’s no longer my son,” he said and met my gaze. “And I’ve got four girls under my roof that are now his prime targets, along with my wife. I don’t have the luxury of hoping for a miracle.” He pressed his lips together. “Hope is not a tactic. We can’t rely on it, or we will all die.”
He rubbed his face and stopped the swing. “He’s using my son’s brains, too. Any time he pings me, it goes through so many goddamn servers that I can’t find him. I’ll keep trying to pin it down, but I haven’t had any luck with that for the last five months.” He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I should have let him go with you.” He stood and marched back to the house, obviously kicking himself for the decisions he’d made.
I couldn’t let him take the burden of this. The breaches and Lucifer being topside were my fault and mine alone.
I followed him and stopped him at the door before he stepped inside. “I don’t blame you for this.”
“I know, but I do.” He turned and headed inside.
“You didn’t know.”
“I absolutely should have known when Bridget tried to kill you.” He spun on me with such ferocity that I stepped back. “I should have known she was compromised. If I had left her behind then, Alex would be here with us now.”
“She just lost her husband; you couldn’t have just sent her packing.”
“He should have,” a sleepy voice said from behind me.
I spun around to April standing in one of the bedroom doors. Her blonde hair was knotted and unruly from a night of sound sleep. She ran across the room and threw her arms around me. I held her tight and closed my eyes, letting Tom’s love for her fill me.
I kissed the top of her head and opened my eyes. “Your father loved you so much.”
I hadn’t had much time with April after Tom’s death and I knew our time was limited now, but I wanted her to know just how much her father cared.
She smiled up at me. “I know. He’s been trying to get me to forgive my mother, but I can’t. Just like I can’t forgive Grace for what she has done.” She pulled away from my hug and propped her hands on her hips with an uncompromising pout.
“You do know that forgiveness is more for you than it is for anyone else,” I said, and even CJ’s eyebrows went up. “Holding onto anger... It just destroys who you are.” I glanced at CJ and then back to April. “Don’t hold on to it. Let it go.”
She stared up at me as my words sank in, then dimples appeared in her cheeks. “Quoting Disney movies now?”
I couldn’t help it—I grinned, too. I hadn’t meant to quote one of her favorite movies of all time. But she embraced it, opening her mouth and belting the song out like a true thirteen-year-old diva. I looked at CJ, and then joined April, because I needed a little silliness after everything I had been through. Our singing woke Valerie and the girls, but I didn’t care, and obviously neither did April.
And we sang the hell out of the song. When we finished, we turned back-to-back and crossed our arms, claiming the power of Elsa. Power we sorely lacked at the moment, and it was rejuvenating.
CJ started a slow clap from his position against the bench. The half smile on his lips warmed me as much as it reminded me of Alex, and my heart ached.
“Are you two done with your little show?” He waggled his fingers at us.
“Why, do you want to join us?” I asked.
April giggled from behind me.
CJ cocked his eyebrow as his girls came out of the room rubbing their eyes. The sun’s rays came over the mountain and bathed the room in warm spring morning light. He opened his mouth, and the first words to another popular Disney song came rolling off his tongue His girls clapped with glee.
His voice was as mesmerizing as it had been on television. Full, with a beautiful timbre that brought gooseflesh to my arms and put Elton John’s voice in the dust. He opened his arms and turned to the new day, welcoming it with the song like he was on stage and his audience consisted of more than a few birds and his own family. His entire persona switched into the entertainer I was used to seeing, and with it came that magical gleam in his eyes along with a full smile that reminded me so much of Alex that my knees weakened.
When he got to the chorus, we all joined in, and our harmony filled the house. Arianna and Amber’s voices were just as rich as their father’s. Just as rich and full as Alex’s voice had been. April and I... Well, we weren’t quite as mesmerizing, but at least we were on key.
Levi just stared at us from the floor like we all had lost our minds. Valerie leaned against the bedroom door with a sad, slightly haunted grin. She still wasn’t quite herself, but at least there was a smile on her face.
The only ones who hadn’t stirred were Michael and Kylee, but they had had a late enough night for sleep to overcome any noise at this point. I just hoped our singing euphoria hadn’t woken Alexis.
Music soothed me as much as it seemed to soothe the Ryan clan. My heart actually felt lighter because of it, and from the looks of it, it seemed to break whatever depression had settled on the house since we had arrived.
I knew I’d pay for my all-nighter later today, but for now, I would hang on to this lightness even though I knew it was a farce.
Quiet fell on us as CJ whipped up some egg
s for the family. We sat around the table eating with only the clang of silverware on the plates to keep us company. Smiles faded as reality crashed down on us. Even Arianna and Amber ended up falling silent.
“When is Alex coming back?” Amber asked after we finished the meal. She looked at me, not her father.
I pressed my lips together and shrugged. “I don’t know.” I glanced at CJ for help, and he stood and started clearing the plates.
“We don’t know if he’ll ever come back to us,” CJ said, slamming the mood right into the toilet.
I wouldn’t have said it in the same way. He didn’t even try to soften the blow. I got up and walked out the door, leaving them all to deal with the fallout. That seemed to be my norm when I couldn’t deal with the emotions surrounding me. This wasn’t a new thing, either. I used to do the same thing with my mother when I was upset. Disappearing into the woods when things got heated was my way of pushing aside the unease itching at my fingers. It was either that or set the place on fire. So, I opted to remove myself. It was a good strategy most of the time, but it still felt like running away.
Instead of going to the swing again, I sat on the stairs on the dock.
Frustration burned under my skin, and I opened those drawers again, going straight to CJ’s. Looking for how he’d beaten the devil.
“I didn’t beat him.” He took a seat next to me. “My father did, but as you saw, there was a price. There’s always a price.” He glanced over the lake. “I don’t know whether to just hop a plane to Disney World and let the kids have as much fun as humanly possible until the gauntlet falls, or just sit tight to weather the storm.”
“The knife. You think it will wipe us all out.”
CJ sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe. I just can’t see what’s coming.” He waved towards Paradise Cove. “I asked my father, but he has no clue, which I think is a load of crap because he knew enough to write Steve into his will long before he met the guy. But then again, he was alive at the time.” He shrugged. “I even asked my older brother, but he’s so damn cryptic about things it’s enough to drive anyone mad.” He chewed on his lip, shook his head, and quietly stared out over the lake. “I’m okay with never existing.”
“I’m okay with that, too.” I was. If annihilating Lucifer wiped us all off the map, it was far different than killing my boyfriend.
He gave me a soft smile. “I know you are.” He pointed to the lake. “Bring back the phone.”
I sighed. “I haven’t had any sleep...”
“I don’t care. We need to get you prepared, Faith. Tired or not. Sore or not. Unsure or not. You need to start training your mind. You did well last night shuffling through the memories in a controlled manner that didn’t overload your brain. You need to learn to count on your power regardless of whether you’re at your best or worst. If he gets the knife, you have to have the power to get it back without cutting yourself so you can end him.”
His stern reprimand heated my face. “This is your son you’re talking about.”
He shook his head. “No, I’m talking about Lucifer. He is capable of putting you in a world of hurt if you underestimate him. I underestimated him more than once and paid for it. He stole two years of my life and left me a stuttering idiot for a while. I still battle that from time to t-time.” He stuttered on the last word and closed his eyes. “See. I may be a trinity with all sorts of ungodly powers, but I’m not infallible. Neither are you.” He pointed at the lake again. “Retrieve the phone with your mind.” He barked the command.
“Fine.” I stared at the water, ignoring the irritation creeping just under my skin. I never liked being ordered to do anything, but I understood what CJ was trying to do. It was much the same as what Kylee did for me in the subway tunnel.
I felt out the lake in the general vicinity where I thought the phone had gone, mentally searching the sandy bottom for metal that didn’t belong. It didn’t take me long before a strange scratch itched in my temple. I put my hand out, concentrating on pulling the phone to me from the depths.
A small ripple started on the surface, and my heart jumped into my throat. I’m doing it. As soon as the thought popped in, my connection failed. I closed my hand and shook the disappointment out of my head.
I opened my hand towards the water again and used sheer force of will until sweat dripped into my eyes.
I glared at CJ. “I can’t do this.” I went to get up.
“Sit,” he commanded, and my body behaved, doing exactly as he’d said, regardless of whether I wanted to or not. “You were close the first time. Reconstruct that effort and don’t get cocky in the middle of it.”
Reconstruct. Who talks like that?
He huffed, giving me his evil eye.
I closed my eyes and inspected my memory as if it were a puzzle trying to figure out why it worked the first time versus failing the second time. I had the mental connection to the object right up to the point I realized I was actually doing what he’d demanded.
That was the difference. And it was a huge difference.
So, I sent that mental radar out again. This time, I found the object a lot faster because I had a spot of reference. I concentrated on pulling the phone to my hand, leaving my eyes closed.
Wet metal drifted into my palm, and I opened my eyes. My phone dripped on the dock in front of me as I wrapped my fingers around it. I handed it to CJ since he was the one who’d said he could get Alex’s texts for me even with the water infiltrating the electronics.
He handed it back. “Dry it.”
I reached for the hem of my shirt.
“Not like that.”
His exasperation confused me. “Huh?”
“Manipulate the air to dry it off.” He twirled his finger and then pointed at the phone.
“How?” Air wasn’t a thing I could connect to. Not in the way he was asking me. I thought back to the witch conjuring the storm in Texas and then met his gaze. “That’s not possible.”
At least not without using pure magic.
“You made it rain. I think you can do a small breeze around your phone.”
My heart clattered in my chest. I didn’t know how I’d made it rain. All that had come to mind was putting out the fire before it moved onto the house from the woods. It was not a conscious decision.
He nodded towards the phone, unfazed by my unspoken narrative or my mounting panic.
I curled my hand that wasn’t holding the phone to make sure my fire didn’t get loose. I closed my eyes, thinking about the rotation of the clouds that the witch was manipulating, as well as how the wind worked in the whiteout on Mount Cook, which was more of a natural event than the witch’s spell. In my mind, I attempted to harness that power and shrink it to the size of my hand. I opened my eyes and stared at the phone. It was still wet. However, a little dirt devil swirled at the end of the dock before it dissipated.
CJ smiled. “Close.” He glanced over his shoulder and his smile faded like something had opened the door to his emotions for just a moment.
“Why now?” I asked and stared at the phone. “There weren’t any texts from him between the day he was taken and today.”
CJ pressed his lips together and sighed. “I think Lucifer had someone watching Ireland. I got calls from time to time, and I think he was just testing the waters to see whether you were alive or not. He knows you’re the only one who can close the breaches. And once the last major one closed...” He shrugged and put his hand out for the phone. “I’ll see what I can do with it. In the meantime, you should get some rest before we have another session.”
He climbed to his feet, and I gave him the phone.
“Session?”
“Yes. You need to be one hundred percent reliable before I will let you go after Lucifer. I don’t want to lose anyone else if I don’t have to.” He turned and headed inside.
I yawned, suddenly feeling every bit of lack of sleep. I stood and made my way inside. He pointed out the bedroom for me to use, and I collapsed on
the bed. I think I was asleep before I even hit the pillow.
Chapter 3
CJ leaned back in the recliner while the kids were all playing with their toys and Kylee was feeding Alexis in the kitchen. His jaw was tense, as was his grip on the chair arms. It was not CJ’s normal lounging form. He had been more relaxed on the dock with me this morning. His mind raged with static and nothing else, so I had no frame of reference for his seemingly dark mood.
I took a seat on the couch, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. The sun was still up, and the sink was filled with dishes and the sweet tang of spaghetti sauce hung on the air.
“There’s a plate on the counter if you’re hungry,” CJ said, but he didn’t look away from the television droning on in the background. A stock ticker moved across the bottom of the screen as talking heads discussed the latest economic news.
I wasn’t ready to eat yet. I needed to wake up first. “Thanks.” I didn’t move from my spot. I would eventually grab the saved dinner, but for now, I was content to watch the stock market stories.
CJ switched channels, restlessly looking for something else. The speed at which he channel-surfed was annoying. It reminded me of a flashing strobe light. How could someone actually digest the channel with one second or less of a view?
As if to prove me wrong, CJ’s eyes widened, and he backtracked slowly until Alex’s face filled the screen. CJ leaned forward.
My lungs tightened at the sight. Everything about him was familiar except his eyes. His eyes were not those of the sweet boy who was so concerned with my welfare. His eyes were cold and hard and gleefully dark.
The banner below the screen scrolled with Alex’s name and some sensationalized wording to get viewers’ attention. But that wasn’t what clenched my stomach and made me glad I hadn’t chosen to eat the offered dinner yet. My boyfriend’s face riveted me to the television just before a chained Gabriel Andreas filled the picture. His body was black and blue and some other distinctly sickening colors that indicated the type of beating most people wouldn’t live through. The camera panned enough to show Alex, grinning like a maniac.
