The real light at the end of the tunnel wasn’t the sun, however, it was seeing Oliver waiting for me. He was alone, obviously deemed unlikely to be a threat by the mole people. Either that or Jet’s ownership extended to him, too.
Perhaps he owned everyone in the city. He had implied enough down below.
I wanted to run into Oliver’s embrace and let his strong arms wrap about me. I wanted him to whisper into my hair that everything would be alright and warm me with his body.
But I didn’t.
I stood there wanting to cry instead.
“Everly? Everything okay?” Oliver prompted. He was reading my face, taking me in and working everything out before I needed to say anything.
“I didn’t find out anything,” I said.
He offered me a kind smile, it was only the start of what I really needed. “We’ll work it out.”
I didn’t want to believe him. My logical brain said the odds were so far stacked against us that it was impossible to work it all out. But that was the thing about Oliver. He made you believe in him. If he said we’d work it out, he wouldn’t stop until his promise was fulfilled.
We’d work it out.
We didn’t have any other option.
One minute with Oliver and my world was spinning on its axis again. I gave him a small nod and we turned to leave. If we didn’t hurry, it would be dark again. Being out after sundown was not wise in the city.
Oliver kept a brisk pace but it was one I could easily match. We passed the debris from fallen buildings, past the pile of rocks covered in brown snow, and past the white building with no windows.
At the very least, the walk warmed me. After being underground in the tunnels that were much hotter than above, the cool wind was almost a nice change. I enjoyed it while it lasted because it wouldn’t take too long before it chilled me to the core again.
As we reached the grey building with only half its side still standing, I thought we were home safe. There might even be time to get some food from the shelter before we hid away for the night.
I was wrong.
So very, very wrong.
Five boys jumped out from inside the building. They had to have seen us coming and waited for our approach. Their attack was instant. Fists and legs flying everywhere, all aimed at us.
They formed a barrier around me, blocking off my view of Oliver. All I could do was hear him repeatedly screaming my name. Over and over again, the desperation growing with each one.
“Everly. Everly. Everly.”
A fist connected with the back of my head, sending stars swimming in front of my eyes. I had nothing to trade with the boys for my life. If they wanted anything of value they had chosen the wrong people.
“Please, stop,” I begged as a leg collided with the back of my knee. I fell forward, straight into the arms of one of the boys. He threw me backwards, knocking me to the ground.
My head hit the steps of the building. Pain radiated out as my vision blackened from the edges inwards. I couldn’t get up again. I wanted to. My brain screamed at me to. But I couldn’t.
“What have you got? Give us your shirt,” one of them ordered me.
My hands started working the buttons but they were shaking too hard to get a good grip. They wouldn’t wait for too much longer but there was nothing I could do to make my fingers work properly.
“Hurry up! We don’t got all day.”
“Just tear it off,” another replied. Their eyes were wild as they moved from foot to foot with impatience. I would bet their hearts were beating just as quickly in their chests as mine was.
For completely different reasons.
Mine, fear. Theirs, anticipation.
I got one button undone and moved on to the others. There were a dozen of them in total, we were going to be here for a while unless they decided to tear it off me like the one boy wanted.
“I’m sorry,” I groaned.
One of the boys crouched down and I flinched, thinking he was preparing to hit me again.
Instead, he started helping me with the buttons. He wasn’t one of the ones telling me to hurry. Perhaps not everyone in the city was so bad after all.
Although, he was still robbing me so he couldn’t be that great, either.
“Hurry up.”
“Just get it off already.”
“Do you have anything else on you? Food? Water? Where’s your home?”
“I don’t have anything else,” I insisted.
“Where are you staying? What are you keeping there? Huh? Tell me or I’ll kill you.”
I didn’t doubt his words were true.
I still couldn’t see Oliver through the boys’ bodies. They were keeping us separated with a human barricade. “I don’t have anything except what I’m wearing. I eat at the shelter, they don’t let you take food away.”
“That’s true, they don’t, boss,” the boy helping me said without looking up at his friend. He was halfway done with my buttons. I probably could have shrugged my way out of the shirt by that point but I couldn’t stand to do it. Taking on the last few buttons would buy me a few more minutes to get my balance.
All of a sudden, the boys’ heads shot around to the side. They stared for only a moment before running down the street and darting into an alley. Even the one helping me left his task to run. I didn’t know what had spooked them, but I wanted to thank whatever it was anyway.
Oliver loomed in front of me. “Everly, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t stop them. Are you okay?”
I pushed myself forward, my head spun like a whirligig. It took several blinks before I could focus on any one thing again. I concentrated on Oliver, making him the center pin of my world that would make everything else fall into place.
I started working on doing the buttons up again, something to keep my mind occupied for a few moments more so I could compose myself.
“Everly, are you okay?” Oliver repeated.
When I was done with my shirt, my fingers touched the back of my head and returned covered in blood. There was nothing I could do about it. There were no doctors to stitch me up. Hopefully the cold would help dry up the flow of blood.
“I’m fine. Did they hurt you?” I asked. My eyes scanned over him. He appeared to have escaped any harm but I couldn’t be sure.
“No, I’m good. I was more worried about you.”
I gave standing up a try.
A quick grasp of the railing stopped a second fall.
“Why did they choose us? We didn’t have anything to rob,” I pointed out. Surely there had to be better kids to steal from? A few of the more naïve ones actually carried everything they owned around with them.
Robbing us was pointless. They took off without anything.
“I don’t know. Something interrupted them.”
“Did you see what it was?”
Oliver shook his head. “No. Come on, we should get back before it gets any darker.”
I couldn’t argue.
We walked faster this time. My eyes didn’t miss a thing as we moved. I jumped at every leaf that blew in the wind, every rodent that scurried away, and even at my own long shadow. Everything was a threat and it scared the hell out of me.
Our musky basement apartment was a welcome refuge. Even my growling stomach couldn’t send me out into the night again. Once we were certain we were alone in our place, we sat on the floor together.
Oliver barely shivered in the cold, I wished I had his stamina. I needed to do something for warmth. Desperate, I searched through the moldy apartment and into all the dark places I didn’t dare before. In what used to be the kitchen, I found a small linen cupboard. A black coat was still hanging, waiting to be washed.
It reeked of mildew and it was too big but it would offer warmth. I slipped it on, instantly grateful for the person who once lived in the apartment.
Checking the remainder of the cupboards, there was little more than a few rags. Nothing to offer much warmth or comfort for anyone. I returned to Olive
r and did a twirl.
“Nice work,” he exclaimed, impressed.
“Do you want it? We could share it?”
He shook his head. “No, I’m fine. You keep it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. I’ll tell you if I’m not.”
He would, too. Oliver wouldn’t be too polite for my benefit. He knew I wouldn’t want that.
I sat on the floor and pulled my new coat around me tighter, trying to create warmth where there was none. It was all I could do to stop my teeth chattering. The warmth of the underground was all but a distant memory now.
My head was throbbing and I felt nauseous from the attack. Or the lack of food. Or the anger from my encounter with Jet. It was probably a combination of all three.
The only thing in my life that never let me down or hurt me was the guy sitting beside me. Oliver was the only constant in my life, the only one I could count on.
The only one I loved.
As I looked up into his emerald green eyes, I knew it without a doubt. Any lingering hesitation was gone, lying on the street somewhere under the wet snow.
My childhood friend, the one whom I had grown up with, he filled my heart like nobody had ever done before. All those fluttery feelings I had heard about from the other girls at school, he was the reason behind them all. He was my light, my sunshine, the reason why I wanted to go on when everything else was so hopeless.
He was my everything.
The reason why I couldn’t give up.
Oliver was looking at me intently, as if he could read all the thoughts running through my head. Lightning crackled between us, something intangible that I could never describe with words.
Love.
Care.
Trust.
Forever.
It was all there in his eyes as they burned into me with the intensity of a million suns. I felt everything he was feeling. The emotions coursed through my body like I was experiencing them all at the same time.
Perhaps I was.
In those eyes I couldn’t see the friend that I used to. He was gone, lost in the pages of history and replaced with something so, so much better.
Sitting next to me was the man I loved. The man I could trust with my life and never be afraid that he would let me down. He was right here and it had taken me too long to see him.
We had wasted too much time already. In our new world, the next minute was never guaranteed, they belonged to those brave and strong enough to survive and see it. So many people had already proven unworthy. Our very existence of still breathing proved we were.
While my heart still beat in my chest, I was determined not to waste any more time.
I wanted Oliver.
I wanted all of him wrapped around me and whispering how much he wanted me, too. It wasn’t a stupid schoolgirl crush. It was a deep, true love.
The kind they wrote poems about.
We were magnets, being drawn together with nothing to stop us colliding. We didn’t have parents. We didn’t have rules. We didn’t have anything besides each other.
Our heads started leaning toward one another. My lips were ready, my stomach clenching and already anticipating the sweetness of our kiss.
I wanted it so badly.
I needed it.
My eyes automatically closed. We were so close, all I had to do was angle my head upwards just a little, and our lips would collide in our first kiss.
The first of many.
So, so many.
My breath hitched in my throat and I waited for it to happen. I waited for the warmth that would spread through me, making the cold long forgotten. I waited.
And waited.
I opened my eyes. Oliver was pulling back, shifting uncomfortably on the hard floor. “Sorry,” he whispered.
I guess I got what I wanted, my cheeks burned with the blush that ran over my face. I felt warmer in my embarrassment than I had all afternoon. Even if he had slapped me, it wouldn’t have hurt as badly as his rejection.
“No, I’m sorry. I… I didn’t mean…” I stammered. Full sentences weren’t possible while my mind still reeled. My fingers touched my mouth where his lips should have been instead. They wondered what was wrong with them.
Oliver smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. He shifted away from me, leaving a gaping chasm between us that wasn’t altogether space related.
There were no words that would make our situation better. I thought Oliver was feeling the same electricity between us.
I was wrong.
So very, very wrong.
But I had been so certain. How could he not have felt it? It was palpable, it was like I could have reached out and touched the connection that had pulsed in the air. Surely anyone would have been able to see it?
As it was now, I couldn’t even reach out and touch Oliver himself. He was too far away. He had removed himself from me both mentally and physically.
Any words I wanted to say were choked in my throat. The tears wanted to sting my eyes but I wouldn’t let them. I wasn’t going to cry over some stupid boy when there were so many other problems in the world.
I wasn’t going to do it.
It was stupid of me to let the emotions overwhelm my sensibilities. I thought I had managed to quash them all shortly after the Event and everything changed. I thought I was in more control of myself.
I had been numb for so long and somehow Oliver had managed to unlock all my emotions until they were a flowing river. I had let him in and was now paying the price.
So stupid.
I laid on the floor, using my arm as a pillow and let out the breath I had been holding. I huddled under the coat like it was my shield to keep the world away. I wanted to forget everything that had happened. Not only with Oliver, but with Jet and the adults, too. It was all too much to take in.
All too painful to process.
I closed my eyes but sleep didn’t come easily. It drifted around me, taunting me with being just out of my grasp. The sweet relief it offered was just an illusion.
Oliver shifted. “Goodnight, Ev,” he whispered. I didn’t reply. I pretended I was already asleep.
The sound of him breathing was the only noise in the room as I listened for a long time. If he was having any trouble sleeping, he was a far better actor than I was. He didn’t even seem to move as his slow breaths went in and then out again.
In and out.
Like a dance with its own beat.
Sometime in the darkness of the night, I fell asleep to that beat. I was frozen by morning. The cold had taken up residence in my bones and was refusing to move. Its harsh tendrils were gripping on tight and would not be swayed from its position.
Sitting up and running a hand through my hair, Oliver was already up. His face was still as beautiful it was last night, weary but not defeated. The memory of our almost-kiss rushed back into my mind, sending a new round of embarrassment to my cheeks.
A new wave of pain, hurt, and longing.
“Sleep well?” I asked. I desperately hoped he wasn’t picturing the same thing I was. It couldn’t be a barrier between us, I couldn’t bear it. He was the only person I still had, the price of losing him was far too much. As bad as his rejection stung, it was better suffering it than losing him altogether.
“As good as it gets these days,” he replied with a tired smile. “You were dreaming, you were mumbling something. Did you have nightmares?”
“Not that I remember.” I hoped my mumbles were incoherent and didn’t tell him everything that had been on my mind before I slept. I could only imagine the horror of following that thought right through.
He stood, leaning against the wall. His eyes roamed the small room, he wanted to say something. He always did that when he was formulating words into sentences. Oliver rarely spoke off the cuff. He thought about things, ruminated on them until they were perfectly formed.
It used to drive me crazy once, I never had time for him to think about things. Since the Event, all
I had was time. What I had learned the hard way was that if someone has to think about their words, what they usually had to say was worth listening to.
But the suspense was killing me. “Oliver, just say it. Whatever it is going on inside your head, please just say it.”
He took a breath, buying some more time. “About last night-”
I put up my hand to stop him. Hearing the words would be worse than knowing they existed. “Don’t. It’s nothing. It won’t happen again.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, so quietly it was hard to believe it came from such a strong man.
If someone had told me years ago that I would have these kinds of feelings for Oliver, I would have found it hilarious. Now, to know I did and that he didn’t share them, was heartbreaking. The world really had gone to hell.
All those feelings needed to be pushed aside and forgotten. I would lock them away again and regain my numbness. I had done it before and I would be able to do it once more. Just once more, that’s all I needed.
I stood, shaking out my limbs to get some blood flowing in them again. “I don’t know about you, but I am starving. Want to go to the shelter and see if there’s anything left?”
“I think that’s a good idea.”
We stepped out into the morning. It was marginally warmer than the day before but snow had fallen overnight. I prepared myself for the worst. There would be corpses along the road. I had to be ready to see them. They wouldn’t disappear just because I didn’t want to acknowledge their existence. It would be a good opportunity to practice ridding myself of emotions again.
Oliver spoke as we walked. “They might have some blankets at the shelter. You should get one if you can. You shivered all night.”
“I doubt they have any.”
“We should still look.”
I nodded. We would look.
We wouldn’t find anything.
“The shelter shouldn’t be responsible for everything,” I started, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. It shouldn’t be up to kids to feed and clothe other kids. The adults should still be here. The adults underground should want to help.
“The volunteers are doing a good job,” Oliver replied.
“I know they are. But they shouldn’t be the only ones.” We made it to the shelter. Oliver had done a good job of distracting me in conversation so my eyes didn’t roam to the sidewalks surrounding us.
All the Pretty Ghosts (The Never Alone Series Book 1) Page 17
