by Ana Medeiros
“Does Pete know I’ll be joining you?”
“Does it matter?”
“He doesn’t know, does he?”
Grace hesitated. “Of course he does.”
“Don’t lie to me. Please, not you of all people.”
“Pete knows you’re coming.” Grace gave him one of her usual sad smiles. “We both need you back in your lives.”
“I’m already in your life. I’m babysitting Seth and Eli. What difference will it make if Pete and I are on good terms?”
“I want you to come over for holidays and birthdays and dinners. Like before. I want you to be part of our family.”
He wanted to continue to see Seth and Eli. “I’ll do my part.”
“Thank you,” she whispered as she hugged him.
Julian closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax, even if for just a brief instant. He was stunned to find out how much he craved another human being’s touch. His own vulnerability disgusted him.
“How’s the open marriage coming along?” Julian asked, now leaning against the kitchen counter. He put as much space as possible between him and Grace.
“I met this new guy at the gym. We’re seeing each other again this weekend. It’s exciting.”
“Is he in an open relationship as well?”
“He’s single.”
“How does he feel about being involved with someone who has a husband and kids?”
“Well, I haven’t told him yet.”
“C’mon Grace, really? How would you feel if you were in his place and all of a sudden you found out he had a family and he didn’t tell you?”
“We were working out when we met; I didn’t have my wedding band on. Afterwards, I wanted to tell him, I really did, but it never felt like a good time. Then we had sex, and at that point I didn’t know how to tell him. It felt like it was too late.” Grace sighed. “It’s not easy.”
“No, it’s not. But you have to be honest, from the beginning. Discreet, but always honest.”
“When you met Sofia, how did you and Meredith make it work? You two never stopped seeing each other.”
“We were honest.” Sure, they both had kept secrets, Julian rationalized, but not when it came to their sexual life. “Who’ll be watching Seth and Eli tonight while we go out for dinner?” he asked, changing the subject. It pained him to speak about Meredith.
“I’ve left a message with my babysitter. I’ve got a spa appointment with a couple of friends but I’ll stop here afterwards to pick them up on my way home.”
Julian heard a cry coming from outside the kitchen and, as he made his way toward the noise, he wondered what the boys had gotten themselves into.
They were inside a large playpen set up in the middle of the living room, and one of them wanted out. He wasn’t interested in playing with his brother or any of the scattered toys around them.
Julian picked up Eli. “That’s fine,” he said to Grace, who was already getting ready to leave. “Don’t worry about keeping the phone with you. Enjoy the spa. Just text me when you’re on your way.”
“Uh-huh,” she said as she waved goodbye to the boys.
“It’s Sunday morning. Where’s Pete?”
“Tennis, I think,” she answered already from the foyer.
As soon as the door closed, Tatiana entered the living room. “Dinner with Pete and Grace?”
“I don’t have a choice.”
“Sounds like an excuse to me.”
Before Julian could reply, Eli giggled. Tatiana had the boys’ full attention.
“Why are they so enthralled by you?”
“You were so certain it was my wild hair. Not so sure anymore?” Tatiana kneeled on the floor and reached for a toy. She held it in front of Seth, who was quick to grab it. Both she and Seth were now pulling on the toy in a friendly tug of war.
“Do you remember how close we used to be?” she asked. “From the first day you arrived at our home we trusted each other. For no reason at all. But I guess that’s what kids do. Even messed-up ones like us.”
Julian’s happiest memories involved Tatiana. So did his most painful ones. He put Eli inside the playpen with his brother and went into the kitchen. He needed a strong cup of coffee.
“Why are you going to this dinner?” she asked, following him into the kitchen. “Are you doing it for Seth and Eli? Grace, maybe? I thought you were done with Pete.”
Julian opened one of the cupboards, looking for a mug. “Pete has many faults. I know that better than most, but he has been there for me when I needed him. He’s the one who came and took care of you when you were beaten within an inch of your life.”
“That’s not why you’re doing it. Do you feel guilty for fucking his wife?”
“She wasn’t his wife at the time.” Julian filled the electric kettle with water and turned it on. “Not that it makes any difference,” he admitted. “Even if they were broken up, she was still his longtime girlfriend. I knew he loved her.”
“Why did they break up?”
Julian continued to move around the kitchen.
“C’mon, why?’ she insisted. “There isn’t a TV in this damn condo. Entertain me.”
“He cheated on her.”
She lifted herself onto the kitchen counter, sitting between the sink and the stove. “This is better than I expected. She slept with you to get back at him? I would’ve.”
“Grace is not you.”
“If she was, she would’ve dumped Pete for good and would be raising those kids with you paying child support and taking care of them half of the time.”
Julian realized he needed something from the cupboard above Tatiana and couldn’t reach it with her sitting there. “Can you grab the moka pot behind you? As soon as you open the cupboard you will see it. It’s on the first shelf.”
“What’s a moka pot?” She opened the cupboard door. “Is this it?” She grabbed a stovetop coffee maker. “Since when is this a moka pot? You’ve really become fancy, haven’t you?”
“If I had I wouldn’t be making coffee in one of these, would I?” Impatient, he took it from her and filled the aluminum basket with ground coffee beans.
“Anyway, now you’ve got a playpen filled with toys in the middle of your living room. What’s next?”
“I enjoy having Seth and Eli around. They help me…I need them.”
“Do you now regret not claiming paternity when they were born?”
“Pete and Grace had a lot to offer them. I didn’t.”
“Had Pete not been part of the picture you wouldn’t have left them without a dad, regardless if you had anything to offer them or not. You know what it’s like to grow up without one.”
Julian filled the moka pot with the boiling water from the kettle and placed it on one of the stovetop gas burners. He turned it on, keeping the lid of the pot open.
“Of course I would have been there for them,” he said. “Not their fault I was too drunk to use a condom.”
Julian served them both the freshly brewed coffee. He took pleasure feeling the heat of the mug seep into his palm.
“Thanks for getting groceries.”
He took Tatiana’s eagerness to chat as a sign that she felt lonely.
“I didn’t think you had noticed,” he said.
“Once all you have to eat for several days are Oreos and soy milk, you notice when there’s something else in the house.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t do it sooner.”
Tatiana shrugged. “Not your responsibility.”
Before he could move, she put down her mug and jumped off the counter. She grasped the front of his t-shirt and she pulled him toward her. Julian felt the soles of her bare feet step onto the tops of his. Her hands ventured to his shoulders and down his arms. She kissed the spot on his chest, where she had bitten him.
While he struggled to understand Tatiana’s intentions, if he didn’t push her away he knew what he would want and need from her. For that reason alone, Tatiana remained the onl
y person he truly feared.
“Please, Tatiana, don’t.”
She let go of him. Secretly, Julian wished she hadn’t.
Chapter 26
Since the incident at The Empty Bottle two days ago, and her conversation with Julian, Meredith hadn’t left her apartment. But this morning she needed to go for a run. She refused to live afraid.
Back home and on her way to her bedroom, she froze. She was suddenly face-to-face with a tall man standing by the bay window. Her instinct told her to rush out of the apartment, but then Tess stepped out of the kitchen.
“Hey, you,” Tess said as she walked by Meredith. “I texted you, but your phone’s dead. Your friend has been waiting for you.” She reached for her car keys. “I’ve gotta go to work so I’m going to jet. Nice to meet you,” Tess added, glancing at the man over her shoulder.
The man gave Tess a quick nod of acknowledgement. “Likewise.”
Meredith didn’t want to be left alone with him but she didn’t ask Tess to stay. She wasn’t sure how the man might react, and she couldn’t risk her roommate’s safety.
Tess closed the front door behind her and suddenly Meredith’s heart started to beat so fast that she felt dizzy.
“What are you doing here?”
“My wife. I know she’s with Julian but I can’t go near him. That’s why I need you to tell me how she’s doing. Please, Meredith. I’m aware that you don’t know me and I shouldn’t be here in your home but it’s been several months and I’m desperate. Right now you’re the only person who can help me. I’m concerned for Tatiana’s safety.”
Meredith wanted Thompson out of her home. “You need to leave.”
“Can we please sit?” he asked.
“No, we can’t sit. I want you gone.” Meredith took a step to the side. Even with his arm in a cast, he was bigger and stronger than her.
“Please, just hear me out. That’s all I ask.”
“Why don’t you ask Pam to help you?”
“What do you know about Pamela and I?”
She had never heard anyone call her stepmother by Pamela. “Enough to know I shouldn’t trust either of you.”
“We are friends. Longtime friends. We don’t always agree, but it doesn’t change the fact that she’s the only person I trust completely. You should trust her, too.”
“That’s interesting, because the only time I’ve heard her talk about you was to say how you’re the mayor’s lapdog. Hardly the type of compliment you want from a friend.” It frustrated her that she had fallen into conversation with Thompson. “I don’t want to talk to you. Leave.”
“I’m not surprised Pamela said that. She’s a woman of strong opinions.”
“If you don’t leave right now I’ll call the police.”
“I thought your phone was dead and”—Thompson looked around the room—“your friend Tess mentioned you don’t have a landline.”
“Are you trying to scare me?”
“I just want you to listen to me.” Thompson sat on the couch. “Please, for Tatiana.”
“Say what you have to say and then get out.”
“Tatiana is not safe with Julian.”
Meredith opened her mouth to interject but he stopped her.
“I’m not here to enlighten you as to who Julian is. That’s not my concern and you look old enough to handle all the consequences your actions might bring you.” His eyes ran down her body and Meredith wondered if he had seen her have sex at the club. “I’m worried about what will happen to her if she remains with him. You’re Julian’s lover and you’ve been to The Raven Room. By now you must know he has fetishes that are”—Thompson paused, searching for the right word—“difficult to satisfy outside of the club. Tatiana is no different from him. They won’t stop each other, and knowing the history between them, I’m afraid that she will end up hurt. Seriously hurt.”
Meredith couldn’t face Thompson.
“I disgust you,” he said.
“I saw the state you left your wife in.”
“I was kicked out of the club shortly after Julian. Tatiana stayed behind. When I left her she was fine. I don’t know what happened after that.”
“You’re lying. You started beating her in front of Julian.”
“I slapped her,” he replied, defensively. “I didn’t beat her. Did Tatiana tell you that I did?”
“Get out.”
“I left the club and I waited all night for Tatiana to get home. She never did. Then, I get a call from the police telling me they had found a woman, who might be my wife, dead at some hotel. I had to go identify the body. Can you imagine how I felt?”
“This is not about Tatiana coming home,” he continued. “I don’t know if we can or even should try to salvage our marriage. But she has to get out of that condo.”
Meredith refused to answer.
Thompson reached inside his pocket, opened his wallet and pulled out a business card. He rested it on the coffee table. “This is my contact info. Please give everything I told you some thought. I’m not the enemy.”
He stood up and stopped in front of Meredith. She raised her chin and faced him head on. She almost took a step back but she willed herself to hold her ground—at such close proximity the pale blue of his irises made her think, for a brief instant, that she was freefalling deep into his eyes and she couldn’t stop it. Never before had she experienced such a feeling. She remained still, not by force, but because she found herself transfixed.
“It might be futile for me to ask you this—but can you please not mention my visit to your stepmother?”
Meredith didn’t reply.
He gave her a crestfallen smile. “I didn’t think so.”
He had already opened the door when Meredith spoke, “You said you weren’t here to enlighten me on who Julian is. I want you to tell me.”
“You already know who he is. You just don’t want to admit it. I’m sure, as you research your article, it will be impossible for you not to face it.”
Meredith felt all the air being sucked out of her lungs. “Did Pam tell you about my piece?”
“You really should be more careful who you tell things to.” Instead of hostility, she heard the concern in his voice.
Thompson left. Without a moment of hesitation, Meredith hurried out the back door, down the fire escape, and toward the Western station, determined to get to Julian’s condo as fast she could.
Chapter 27
The sound of his phone beeping reminded Julian that Grace should be on her way to pick up the twins. As he read her text message, the crease in his brow deepened. Grace hadn’t been able to get a hold of her regular babysitter and she wanted him to find someone to watch the boys at his condo while they went to dinner. She had included the address of the restaurant.
Cursing under his breath, Julian called Grace, but the phone went straight to voicemail.
“Grace, call me back as soon as you get this. I don’t have anyone to watch the boys and I can’t take them anywhere without car seats. You and I need to talk.”
Tatiana leaned on the doorframe as she held a sleeping Eli. “If you’re planning on tearing into her you know you have no ground to stand on, right?”
His frustration around Grace’s uncharacteristic behavior also involved the concern that her actions were steering them into a dangerous situation—one that would bring them all more heartbreak. “Despite everything they’re still my sons.”
“Tell her that and you’re in for a world of misery. As I said, Grace is their mom. You don’t want to piss off the mom of your kids, who happens to be a lawyer and married to your best friend who, in turn, knows your secrets and who you also betrayed by fucking his wife and getting her pregnant. Grace likes you and you want to keep it that way. Didn’t you learn anything from dealing with my mom?”
“Tatiana—”
“Shut up,” she interrupted. “If you’re dead set on going to this dinner, bite your tongue around Pete and act like nothing is wrong. Now is not the
time to be making more enemies.”
“I don’t have anyone to watch the boys.”
“I’ll watch them.”
“No one knows you’re here. Remember?”
“No one needs to know I’m the one watching them. Lie. Say you got someone you know and trust from the hospital to come over. I doubt Grace or Pete will give it a second thought.”
“Eli is passed out in your arms and I’m sure Seth is just as tired. They need to go home,” he said.
Tatiana raised an eyebrow. “You’ve learned to tell them apart.”
“There are differences between the two.”
“Not that many. How do you know this is Eli?” Tatiana asked, glancing down at the sleeping boy in her arms.
“His complexion is lighter.”
“You’ve learned to tell them apart by which of your sons is whiter. I guess that’s better than not telling them apart.”
“Only you would make it sound like that.”
“Like what?”
“You know. Wrong.”
“You should know how to tell your sons apart by something other than the color of their skin. Come here. I will show you how I know which one is which.”
Julian hesitated, but he walked up to Tatiana.
“See here?” she asked, pointing to a small beauty mark above Eli’s right eyebrow. “Seth doesn’t have one.”
Julian stroked Eli’s dark curls and, without giving it a second thought, kissed the boy’s beauty mark.
“And they have very different personalities,” Tatiana added. “But I’ll leave that for you to figure out.”
“It took me forever to tell you and Sofia apart,” Julian said, his mind filled with memories that always made him smile.
“Did you ever?”
“What?”
“Tell me and Sofia apart.”
“After the first few months of living with you I did.”
“We tricked you all the time, even after you thought you could tell us apart. It was kind of a game between us. It was fun.”
Julian and Tatiana stood close together as she held Eli and he continued to caress his son’s head.
“You wish I had been the one who had died that night, don’t you?”
