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Five Books Of The Lives, Heroic Deeds And Sayings Of Gargantua And His Son Pantagruel
Francis Rabelais
Translated into English by Sir Thomas Urquhart of Cromarty and Peter Antony Motteux
The First Book
Introduction
Chapter I
The Author's Prologue to the First Book
Chapter 1.I.--Of the Genealogy and Antiquity of Gargantua
Chapter 1.II.--The Antidoted Fanfreluches: or, a Galimatia of extravagant Conceits found in an ancient Monument
Chapter 1.III.--How Gargantua was carried eleven months in his mother's belly
Chapter 1.IV.--How Gargamelle, being great with Gargantua, did eat a huge deal of tripes
Chapter 1.V.--The Discourse of the Drinkers
Chapter 1.VI.--How Gargantua was born in a strange manner
Chapter 1.VII.--After what manner Gargantua had his name given him, and how he tippled, bibbed, and curried the can
Chapter 1.VIII.--How they apparelled Gargantua
Chapter 1.IX.--The colours and liveries of Gargantua
Chapter 1.X.--Of that which is signified by the colours white and blue
Chapter 1.XI.--Of the youthful age of Gargantua
Chapter 1.XII.--Of Gargantua's wooden horses
Chapter 1.XIII.--How Gargantua's wonderful understanding became known to his father Grangousier, by the invention of a torchecul or wipebreech
Chapter 1.XIV.--How Gargantua was taught Latin by a Sophister
Chapter 1.XV.--How Gargantua was put under other schoolmasters
Chapter 1.XVI.--How Gargantua was sent to Paris, and of the huge great mare that he rode on; how she destroyed the oxflies of the Beauce
Chapter 1.XVII.--How Gargantua paid his welcome to the Parisians, and how he took away the great bells of Our Lady's Church
Chapter 1.XVIII.--How Janotus de Bragmardo was sent to Gargantua to recover the great bells
Chapter 1.XIX.--The oration of Master Janotus de Bragmardo for recovery of the bells
Chapter 1.XX.--How the Sophister carried away his cloth, and how he had a suit in law against the other masters
Chapter 1.XXI.--The study of Gargantua, according to the discipline of his schoolmasters the Sophisters
Chapter 1.XXII.--The games of Gargantua
Chapter 1.XXIII.--How Gargantua was instructed by Ponocrates, and in such sort disciplinated, that he lost not one hour of the day
Chapter 1.XXIV.--How Gargantua spent his time in rainy weather
Chapter 1.XXV.--How there was great strife and debate raised betwixt the cake-bakers of Lerne, and those of Gargantua's country, whereupon were waged great wars
Chapter 1.XXVI.--How the inhabitants of Lerne, by the commandment of Picrochole their king, assaulted the shepherds of Gargantua unexpectedly and on a sudden
Chapter 1.XXVII.--How a monk of Seville saved the close of the abbey from being ransacked by the enemy
Chapter 1.XXVIII.--How Picrochole stormed and took by assault the rock Clermond, and of Grangousier's unwillingness and aversion from the undertaking of war
Chapter 1.XXIX.--The tenour of the letter which Grangousier wrote to his son Gargantua
Chapter 1.XXX.--How Ulric Gallet was sent unto Picrochole
Chapter 1.XXXI.--The speech made by Gallet to Picrochole
Chapter 1.XXXII.--How Grangousier, to buy peace, caused the cakes to be restored
Chapter 1.XXXIII.--How some statesmen of Picrochole, by hairbrained counsel, put him in extreme danger
Chapter 1.XXXIV.--How Gargantua left the city of Paris to succour his country, and how Gymnast encountered with the enemy
Chapter 1.XXXV.--How Gymnast very souply and cunningly killed Captain Tripet and others of Picrochole's men
Chapter 1.XXXVI.--How Gargantua demolished the castle at the ford of Vede, and how they passed the ford
Chapter 1.XXXVII.--How Gargantua, in combing his head, made the great cannon-balls fall out of his hair
Chapter 1.XXXVIII.--How Gargantua did eat up six pilgrims in a salad
Chapter 1.XXXIX.--How the Monk was feasted by Gargantua, and of the jovial discourse they had at supper
Chapter 1.XL.--Why monks are the outcasts of the world; and wherefore some have bigger noses than others
Chapter 1.XLI.--How the Monk made Gargantua sleep, and of his hours and breviaries
Chapter 1.XLII.--How the Monk encouraged his fellow-champions, and how he hanged upon a tree
Chapter 1.XLIII.--How the scouts and fore-party of Picrochole were met with by Gargantua, and how the Monk slew Captain Drawforth, and then was taken prisoner by his enemies
Chapter 1.XLIV.--How the Monk rid himself of his keepers, and how Picrochole's forlorn hope was defeated
Chapter 1.XLV.--How the Monk carried along with him the Pilgrims, and of the good words that Grangousier gave them
Chapter 1.XLVI.--How Grangousier did very kindly entertain Touchfaucet his prisoner
Chapter 1.XLVII.--How Grangousier sent for his legions, and how Touchfaucet slew Rashcalf, and was afterwards executed by the command of Picrochole
Chapter 1.XLVIII.--How Gargantua set upon Picrochole within the rock Clermond, and utterly defeated the army of the said Picrochole
Chapter 1.XLIX.--How Picrochole in his flight fell into great misfortunes, and what Gargantua did after the battle
Chapter 1.L.--Gargantua's speech to the vanquished
Chapter 1.LI.--How the victorious Gargantuists were recompensed after the battle
Chapter 1.LII.--How Gargantua caused to be built for the Monk the Abbey of Theleme
Chapter 1.LIII.--How the abbey of the Thelemites was built and endowed
Chapter 1.LIV.--The inscription set upon the great gate of Theleme
Chapter LIV
Chapter 1.LV.--What manner of dwelling the Thelemites had
Chapter 1.LVI.--How the men and women of the religious order of Theleme were apparelled
Chapter 1.LVII.--How the Thelemites were governed, and of their manner of living
Chapter 1.LVIII.--A prophetical Riddle
THE SECOND BOOK.
For the Reader
The Author's Prologue
Chapter 2.I.--Of the original and antiquity of the great Pantagruel
Chapter 2.II.--Of the nativity of the most dread and redoubted Pantagruel
Chapter 2.III.--Of the grief wherewith Gargantua was moved at the decease of his wife Badebec
Chapter 2.IV.--Of the infancy of Pantagruel
Chapter 2.V.--Of the acts of the noble Pantagruel in his youthful age
Chapter 2.VI.--How Pantagruel met with a Limousin, who too affectedly did counterfeit the French language
Chapter 2.VII.--How Pantagruel came to Paris, and of the choice books of the Library of St. Victor
Chapter 2.VIII.--How Pantagruel, being at Paris, received letters from his father Gargantua, and the copy of them
Chapter 2.IX.--How Pantagruel found Panurge, whom he loved all his lifetime
Chapter 2.X.--How Pantagruel judged so equitably of a controversy, which was wonderfully obscure and difficult, that, by reason of his just decree therein, he was reputed to have a most admirable judgment
Chapter 2.XI.--How the Lords of Kissbreech and Suckfist did plead before Pantagruel without an attorney
Chapter 2.XII.--How the Lord of Suckfist pleaded before Pantagruel
Chapter 2.XIII.--How Pantagruel gave judgment upon the difference of the two lords
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sp; Chapter 2.XIV.--How Panurge related the manner how he escaped out of the hands of the Turks
Chapter 2.XV.--How Panurge showed a very new way to build the walls of Paris
Chapter 2.XVI.--Of the qualities and conditions of Panurge
Chapter 2.XVII.--How Panurge gained the pardons, and married the old women, and of the suit in law which he had at Paris
Chapter 2.XVIII.--How a great scholar of England would have argued against Pantagruel, and was overcome by Panurge
Chapter 2.XIX.--How Panurge put to a nonplus the Englishman that argued by signs
Chapter 2.XX.--How Thaumast relateth the virtues and knowledge of Panurge
Chapter 2.XXI.--How Panurge was in love with a lady of Paris
Chapter 2.XXII.--How Panurge served a Parisian lady a trick that pleased her not very well
Chapter 2.XXIII.--How Pantagruel departed from Paris, hearing news that the Dipsodes had invaded the land of the Amaurots; and the cause wherefore the leagues are so short in France
Chapter 2.XXIV.--A letter which a messenger brought to Pantagruel from a lady of Paris, together with the exposition of a posy written in a gold ring
Chapter 2.XXV.--How Panurge, Carpalin, Eusthenes, and Epistemon, the gentlemen attendants of Pantagruel, vanquished and discomfited six hundred and threescore horsemen very cunningly
Chapter 2.XXVI.--How Pantagruel and his company were weary in eating still salt meats; and how Carpalin went a-hunting to have some venison
Chapter 2.XXVII.--How Pantagruel set up one trophy in memorial of their valour, and Panurge another in remembrance of the hares. How Pantagruel likewise with his farts begat little men, and with his fisgs little women; and how Panurge broke a great staff over two glasses
Chapter 2.XXVIII.--How Pantagruel got the victory very strangely over the Dipsodes and the Giants
Chapter 2.XXIX.--How Pantagruel discomfited the three hundred giants armed with free-stone, and Loupgarou their captain
Chapter 2.XXX.--How Epistemon, who had his head cut off, was finely healed by Panurge, and of the news which he brought from the devils, and of the damned people in hell
Chapter 2.XXXI.--How Pantagruel entered into the city of the Amaurots, and how Panurge married King Anarchus to an old lantern-carrying hag, and made him a crier of green sauce
Chapter 2.XXXII.--How Pantagruel with his tongue covered a whole army, and what the author saw in his mouth
Chapter 2.XXXIII.--How Pantagruel became sick, and the manner how he was recovered
Chapter 2.XXXIV.--The conclusion of this present book, and the excuse of the author
Book the Third
Chapter 3.I.--How Pantagruel transported a colony of Utopians into Dipsody
Chapter 3.II.--How Panurge was made Laird of Salmigondin in Dipsody, and did waste his revenue before it came in
Chapter 3.III.--How Panurge praiseth the debtors and borrowers
Chapter 3.IV.--Panurge continueth his discourse in the praise of borrowers and lenders
Chapter 3.V.--How Pantagruel altogether abhorreth the debtors and borrowers
Chapter 3.VI.--Why new married men were privileged from going to the wars
Chapter 3.VII.--How Panurge had a flea in his ear, and forbore to wear any longer his magnificent codpiece
Chapter 3.VIII.--Why the codpiece is held to be the chief piece of armour amongst warriors
Chapter 3.IX.--How Panurge asketh counsel of Pantagruel whether he should marry, yea, or no
Chapter 3.X.--How Pantagruel representeth unto Panurge the difficulty of giving advice in the matter of marriage; and to that purpose mentioneth somewhat of the Homeric and Virgilian lotteries
Chapter 3.XI.--How Pantagruel showeth the trial of one's fortune by the throwing of dice to be unlawful
Chapter 3.XII.--How Pantagruel doth explore by the Virgilian lottery what fortune Panurge shall have in his marriage
Chapter 3.XIII.--How Pantagruel adviseth Panurge to try the future good or bad luck of his marriage by dreams
Chapter 3.XIV.--Panurge's dream, with the interpretation thereof
Chapter 3.XV.--Panurge's excuse and exposition of the monastic mystery concerning powdered beef
Chapter 3.XVI.--How Pantagruel adviseth Panurge to consult with the Sibyl of Panzoust
Chapter 3.XVII.--How Panurge spoke to the Sibyl of Panzoust
Chapter 3.XVIII.--How Pantagruel and Panurge did diversely expound the verses of the Sibyl of Panzoust
Chapter 3.XIX.--How Pantagruel praiseth the counsel of dumb men
Chapter 3.XX.--How Goatsnose by signs maketh answer to Panurge
Chapter 3.XXI.--How Panurge consulteth with an old French poet, named Raminagrobis
Chapter 3.XXII.--How Panurge patrocinates and defendeth the Order of the Begging Friars
Chapter 3.XXIII.--How Panurge maketh the motion of a return to Raminagrobis
Chapter 3.XXIV.--How Panurge consulteth with Epistemon
Chapter 3.XXV.--How Panurge consulteth with Herr Trippa
Chapter 3.XXVI.--How Panurge consulteth with Friar John of the Funnels
Chapter 3.XXVII.--How Friar John merrily and sportingly counselleth Panurge
Chapter 3.XXVIII.--How Friar John comforteth Panurge in the doubtful matter of cuckoldry
Chapter 3.XXIX.--How Pantagruel convocated together a theologian, physician, lawyer, and philosopher, for extricating Panurge out of the perplexity wherein he was
Chapter 3.XXX.--How the theologue, Hippothadee, giveth counsel to Panurge in the matter and business of his nuptial enterprise
Chapter 3.XXXI.--How the physician Rondibilis counselleth Panurge
Chapter 3.XXXII.--How Rondibilis declareth cuckoldry to be naturally one of the appendances of marriage
Chapter 3.XXXIII.--Rondibilis the physician's cure of cuckoldry
Chapter 3.XXXIV.--How women ordinarily have the greatest longing after things prohibited
Chapter 3.XXXV.--How the philosopher Trouillogan handleth the difficulty of marriage
Chapter 3.XXXVI.--A continuation of the answer of the Ephectic and Pyrrhonian philosopher Trouillogan
Chapter 3.XXXVII.--How Pantagruel persuaded Panurge to take counsel of a fool
Chapter 3.XXXVIII.--How Triboulet is set forth and blazed by Pantagruel and Panurge
Chapter 3.XXXIX.--How Pantagruel was present at the trial of Judge Bridlegoose, who decided causes and controversies in law by the chance and fortune of the dice
Chapter 3.XL.--How Bridlegoose giveth reasons why he looked upon those law- actions which he decided by the chance of the dice
Chapter 3.XLI.--How Bridlegoose relateth the history of the reconcilers of parties at variance in matters of law
Chapter 3.XLII.--How suits at law are bred at first, and how they come afterwards to their perfect growth
Chapter 3.XLIII.--How Pantagruel excuseth Bridlegoose in the matter of sentencing actions at law by the chance of the dice
Chapter 3.XLIV.--How Pantagruel relateth a strange history of the perplexity of human judgment
Chapter 3.XLV.--How Panurge taketh advice of Triboulet
Chapter 3.XLVI.--How Pantagruel and Panurge diversely interpret the words of Triboulet
Chapter 3.XLVII.--How Pantagruel and Panurge resolved to make a visit to the Oracle of the Holy Bottle
Chapter 3.XLVIII.--How Gargantua showeth that the children ought not to marry without the special knowledge and advice of their fathers and mothers
Chapter 3.XLIX.--How Pantagruel did put himself in a readiness to go to sea; and of the herb named Pantagruelion
Chapter 3.L.--How the famous Pantagruelion ought to be prepared and wrought
Chapter 3.LI.--Why it is called Pantagruelion, and of the admirable virtues thereof
Chapter 3.LII.--How a certain kind of Pantagruelion is of that nature that the fire is not able to consume it
The Fourth Book
The Translator's Preface
The Author's Epistle Dedicatory
Chapter 4.
I.--How Pantagruel went to sea to visit the oracle of Bacbuc, alias the Holy Bottle
Chapter 4.II.--How Pantagruel bought many rarities in the island of Medamothy
Chapter 4.III.--How Pantagruel received a letter from his father Gargantua, and of the strange way to have speedy news from far distant places
Chapter 4.IV.--How Pantagruel writ to his father Gargantua, and sent him several curiosities
Chapter 4.V.--How Pantagruel met a ship with passengers returning from Lantern-land
Chapter 4.VI.--How, the fray being over, Panurge cheapened one of Dingdong's sheep
Chapter 4.VII.--Which if you read you'll find how Panurge bargained with Dingdong
Chapter 4.VIII.--How Panurge caused Dingdong and his sheep to be drowned in the sea
Chapter 4.IX.--How Pantagruel arrived at the island of Ennasin, and of the strange ways of being akin in that country
Chapter 4.X.--How Pantagruel went ashore at the island of Chely, where he saw King St. Panigon
Chapter 4.XI.--Why monks love to be in kitchens
Chapter 4.XII.--How Pantagruel passed by the land of Pettifogging, and of the strange way of living among the Catchpoles
Chapter 4.XIII.--How, like Master Francis Villon, the Lord of Basche commended his servants
Chapter 4.XIV.--A further account of catchpoles who were drubbed at Basche's house
Chapter 4.XV.--How the ancient custom at nuptials is renewed by the catchpole
Chapter 4.XVI.--How Friar John made trial of the nature of the catchpoles
Chapter 4.XVII.--How Pantagruel came to the islands of Tohu and Bohu; and of the strange death of Wide-nostrils, the swallower of windmills
Chapter 4.XVIII.--How Pantagruel met with a great storm at sea
Chapter 4.XIX.--What countenances Panurge and Friar John kept during the storm
Chapter 4.XX.--How the pilots were forsaking their ships in the greatest stress of weather
Chapter 4.XXI.--A continuation of the storm, with a short discourse on the subject of making testaments at sea
Chapter 4.XXII.--An end of the storm
Chapter 4.XXIII.--How Panurge played the good fellow when the storm was over
Chapter 4.XXIV.--How Panurge was said to have been afraid without reason during the storm
Chapter 4.XXV.--How, after the storm, Pantagruel went on shore in the islands of the Macreons
