by Faye Sonja
“Oh.” Anna felt foolish for being so defensive before. “I see.”
“Whatever is in that camp oven is starting to smell good.”
“Syrup dumplings.”
William patted his stomach. “I’ll have middle age spread soon.”
“You’re hardly middle aged.”
He gave a small laugh. “Guess not.”
“Have the children gone to bed?” Anna noticed they’d gone while she was inside.
“No. They’re around the front playing in the dark.”
“I was always afraid of the dark,” Anna admitted, and then felt silly.
“Lots are. I think because they’re all together helps; being alone in the dark may be a different thing.”
“You’re probably right. I know when I was with my sisters, I was never scared.”
“You’ve two sisters?”
Anna nodded; she’d told him that in letters. “Emma, the youngest isn’t our sister by blood, but she’s been with us since she was a tiny baby.”
“And your parents…?”
Anna drew in a breath. She wasn’t sure she wanted to say the words out loud; it made them real. She shrugged. “The ones who adopted me and Ada from the orphanage? Mama died and then we found out papa had practically tried to sell Ada off, and he was getting a new wife with younger girls to help run the bakery. Then we found out we were adopted and that Emma wasn’t our real sister. I don’t know anything about my real parents;, I suppose they’re dead. Or they just didn’t want me because of this…” She pointed to her mark.
“That’s a tragic story.”
“There’s worse. Much worse. We all ended up okay.”
“Once we get this town established, I hope your family comes to visit you here.”
“Ada has invited me there, too. She’s in North-west California with her husband Bobby.”
“Where’s Emma?”
“She’s still with Miss Kitty at Travelling Hearts. She’s writing a man now. I’m not sure if she’ll go through with it. She may just end up going to live with Ada and Bobby. I’m not sure she’s cut out for marriage.”
“And you thought you were?” William was sincere in his question; she detected no malice or ridicule in his words.
“I knew with my face that I’d probably never get a teaching job at a regular school. Your offer and acceptance of my less-than-perfect features meant I could fulfill my dream of making a better world for the children at school. We were beaten at the orphanage if our lessons weren’t exact; I swore if I ever got the chance, I’d try to change that awful practice. That’s why I hate discipline.”
William was watching her closely now, and Anna wasn’t sure if she should challenge his look or let it go. If they were to stay married, they had to know each other.
“Anna, I’ve never laid a hand to child and I never will.”
* * *
8
Emotions Overload
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“Children? Are you here to
meet me?… “You’re not our Ma.”
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Anna nodded and tears had formed in her eyes; she didn’t even know why. Next thing she knew William was sitting beside her with his arm around her shoulders. Tears fell down her cheeks despite her trying to stop them.
“There’s a lot more to marriage than running a household. I just want you to know that if you never want…if we never try…in the bedroom. If that isn’t what you want, I understand.”
Anna had thought about all that marriage entailed, and she’d never even been kissed; that part scared her a little but she was a wife now, and Ada had written to her about that side of things. Anna knew she wanted to be a wife in every way and William was a nice man despite his grumpy attitude at times. She still felt safe with him.
“I’d like us to be proper man and wife. I just need some more time, but I hope we share the same bed. I’d like the comfort of that.”
“That’s a perfect place to start.”
“Let her go!” Lily had come out in the darkness and Anna hadn’t seen her.
“Lily. That’s enough. Remember your manners.” William’s stern voice made Anna jump.
“Don’t touch her. She’s not Ma. Ma loved us.” Lily had begun to cry.
William stood up now. “Into your room, young lady. Ma is gone and she isn’t coming back; there’s no excuse for being rude to Anna who’s been nothing but kind to you.”
Anna went to get up and defend the young girl’s feelings, but William put his hand out and stopped her.
“I want Ma back. I miss her.” Lily was wailing now and Anna’s heart broke for her.
“We all want your Ma back, Lily. We all miss her. That’s not Anna’s fault. You go to your room and you’ll have extra chores tomorrow. I won’t abide you using what happened to your mother as an excuse to treat Anna poorly. She’s here and she’s staying, so you best get used to it.”
Lily ran back into the house and the other two children were hanging in the background. Anna felt terrible for Lily, and she’d tried as hard as she could to help her see she was no threat.
“This is why we don’t need photos around, and why we need to stick by the discipline. Emotional outbursts don’t help.” William paced around the fire now. He was clearly upset over Lily.
“This is what happens when emotions aren’t allowed to run free. They get pent up and explode.” Anna stood up now and used a cloth wrapped around the hot handle to lift the pan off the coals.
“Don’t you try and blame this on me, Anna. The children were doing fine until you got here and upset the routine they had.”
Anna’s anger burned deep inside. How dare he? “Routine? Is that what you call it?”
“Yes. And having order and organisation never hurt anyone.” William raised his voice, but he wasn’t yelling. His face looked like dark thunder.
“Order and organisation are one thing; treating grieving children like hardened soldiers is another.”
“I’m raising my kids wrong, am I? You and your fancy teacher ideas. Don’t go putting ideas in their heads.”
“Their heads are full of ideas, and dreams, and hope. That’s what kids are best at; they have their whole lives to be adults and be afraid of everything.”
“So I’m a coward now, am I?”
“I never said that! Don’t you twist my words around.” Anna walked off towards the house lugging the heavy camp oven. “Dessert will be inside, if we aren’t all too regimented to enjoy it.”
“You’re impossible to talk to.”
“Why don’t you try talking instead of barking out orders, Officer Anderson? We have fresh cream that needs using up, so I expect you to come eat some dumplings.”
“Who’s barking out orders now?” William called after her, but Anna just kept on walking.
That man was infuriating. How the children had not run away by now was a mystery to her. She hoped he enjoyed a good argument because she wasn’t ever likely to back down on what she believed in, and she knew woman had the chance to be who they wanted to be on the frontier. The staid practices and ideas of what was proper didn’t hold much water here.
Everyone had to do everything to make a success of it and people had to work together despite their differences, or nothing would ever get done. She’d done her reading and found out quite a lot. That’s why she’d come here. Not for romantic notions, or dreams of love, but for the freedom to be herself and put her ideas into action.
For the freedom to be a part of something and not be judged and held back by a blemish granted to her by God, and something she could do nothing about. She had it and that’s all there was to it. It was up to her to make the most of her life and to rise to the challenges. So here she was rising, but she never expected to be at loggerheads with her husband on their wedding night.
Their opinions on things were so different, welded by t
heir experiences and what they’d been conditioned to. Anna hoped they could come to be friends and she’d seen signs of it being possible, like when he put his arm around her. She’d try to be less antagonistic, but it was so ingrained in her to not sit quietly. Because people thought she should be too embarrassed to draw attention to herself and her face, Anna often spoke before she thought about the consequences.
For the sake of peace, at least around the children, she would try and think first. Not that she’d back down if she was in the right, but she would choose her moments more wisely. Fred was beside her now, helping her lift the oven up to the counter top.
“Thank you, Fred. It’s quite heavy.”
“You’re brave to stand up to Pa.” Fred gave her small smile.
“Your father is all bluster.”
“Yeah, but, no one can usually tell him that.”
Anna lifted the lid and the smell was divine. Inside were plump, golden, syrup-covered dumplings.
“Yum. I’ll get the girls.”
“Tell Lily she can have an extra one if she wants.”
“Okay.”
“You all can,” Anna called after him.
“Can I?” William’s deep voice asked from the doorway.
Anna looked up and she had to smile at the look on his face. Men were all children when it came to food. “Perhaps.”
“I’m sorry, Anna. I had no right to speak to you that way. Here I am scolding Lily for being rude to you and then I go and do it myself.”
“William, I don’t care if we argue over things. I don’t care if we’re different. But I’d also like the children to see we can be friends. If we can.”
“I’m so set in my ways.”
“I’m set on my ideas and putting them into practice, too. I know I’m going to get a lot of angry parents with my methods, but I’d like it if you weren’t one of them. I believe the children will learn more my way and be happy. If you can let me prove that, just a chance to, I’d be grateful.”
“You’re my wife and I’ll stand by you no matter what. I’ll try to keep an open mind, but I can’t guarantee I’ll like it.”
“I’m not looking for you to like it, just to support me in it. That will go a long way to convincing others. As you said to Lily, I’m not going away, so get used to it.”
The three children came running back in and propped up on their seats.
“I’m sorry, Anna,” Lily said without looking at her.
“No harm done, Lily. So an extra big serving for you. We’ve a very busy week coming up and you three start your lessons tomorrow.”
That brought a collective groan from the three.
“Shush now and eat up. Education is freedom. Thank you, Lord, for the food we’re about to eat. Amen.” Anna put the three bowls down and poured on the cream.
Everyone said Amen and the children began to eat. Then she served up hers and William’s, giving him an extra-large serving as well.
He grinned at her. “Thank you.”
“What we all need to remember is that arguments happen, feelings happen, and that’s fine. Don’t hold a grudge and talk it through. Pray if you need to. Don’t hold it inside to turn to hate and jealousy and anger.”
No one answered because they all had their mouths full, and Anna ate hers. It was delicious, and she was so glad she’d worked in the bakery for so long and knew how to cook. The rustic life agreed with her. Everything was simple out here. If it needed doing, you did it.
When no one could eat anymore, Anna packed up the dishes and gave them a good rinse out. “Wash up and into bed, children. Early start tomorrow. Thanks for my very first fun corn night.”
The children hugged their father, and Rose gave Anna a hug and Fred did too, but Lily just ran into her room and she could see William was about to call her back.
“Let her go, William. Don’t force her. When she’s ready. It’s never easy to lose your mother at any age.”
“I’m at a loss with that one. She’s always into mischief and though she does as she’s told, it’s the times she has nothing to do that she’s the worst. I don’t understand females and their feelings.”
“Lily has an active mind that needs to be constantly challenged. I’ll help her do that…if that’s fine with you?” Anna wanted to be sure she wasn’t being too pushy. It must be very hard to lose a wife as well.
“Of course. My day off is over. It’s time for bed. Are you ready, Mrs. Anderson?”
Anna nodded. “I am. I think we’ll both sleep very well.”
“You go and get changed and get into bed and I’ll be along shortly. I’ll go check the barn locks and put the fire out. Then I’ll secure the door when I come in.”
“Alright. I’ll take this lantern and leave it on low for you.”
“I’m glad we had a corn night. It’s been too long. I can see that now.” William left to go outside and check everything.
Anna thought he was the sweetest man on earth when he let himself be. She wondered if he’d always be in the army. Or if he’d ever thought of leaving. He was very good with the animals and the crops.
Her head swam with the week ahead as she settled into bed with her layers of nightclothes and her knitted socks. It got quite cool here in the evenings. The bed was comfortable and she hoped she was on the right side of it. Which side had his first wife slept on? Would he wake up through the night and think Anna was her?
The door creaked open and Anna saw his shadow move across the room in the dull lamplight. She heard clothes rustling around and she squeezed her eyes shut tight. Then he was pulling the covers back and getting into bed.
“I hope I’m on the right side of the bed?”
“I don’t mind. You choose.”
“I like this side.”
“This is a new bed I built for us when we started writing. It didn’t feel right to have the same bed. It wasn’t fair to you somehow. Mrs. Ashby stuffed the mattress with goose and duck down for us, and the pillows.”
Anna felt a huge sense of relief. “It’s very comfortable.”
“Good.” He settled into his side and there was a gap between them.
Anna turned over on her side, facing away from him. She didn’t expect him to be attracted to her in any way; no man ever had been. She was here for the teaching, not for romance. William lay still for a while, and Anna was still wide awake despite her tiredness.
William moved and she held her breath. His arm came over her waistline and settled there.
“Is this okay?” he whispered to her.
“Yes. Goodnight, William.”
“Sleep well, Anna.”
* * *
9
School Days
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“Children? Are you here to
meet me?… “You’re not our Ma.”
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Two weeks later
Anna couldn’t believe that in the last whirlwind two weeks, they’d built a school, filled it with supplies, spoken to and arranged her schedule of three assistants, and now she had a rowdy mob of thirty-three children to settle down and make a start with.
Anna’s hand shook with nerves. What if her methods didn’t work? What if William was right and his style of discipline was needed? They’d managed to have less disagreements lately, but they didn’t get off scot free either. It was always over the same thing; he was too hard on the children and she was too soft.
Anna refused to believe she was soft; she was simply understanding, and gentler in nature with them. She looked at them all now. The youngest was four and the eldest was twelve; there were some teenagers in town, but the parents wanted them out working and not wasting time on education. She’d try harder for them in time.
“Please, children. Take your seats.” Anna’s voice was lost in the ruckus. She tried a little louder. “Take your seats, please.”
A few of them looked
her way but just never bothered to do as she asked. Oh dear. This was a little more difficult than she’d thought. “Take you seats now, everyone.” Her voice had risen considerably and she tried to make it sound like she meant business.
The only ones sitting and looking forward were Fred and Rose. Even Lily was amongst the others. Anna sighed, and then a loud cracking sound outside the open door made everyone scream and turn around to stare at the door.
Anna’s heart was in her throat at what sounded like a shotgun blast. Had something out there exploded? In walked William, his shotgun in his hand and a grim look on his face.
“This school is under the protection and law of the Army of the United States of America. All children will be in their seats, looking forward, and listening to Mrs. Anderson by nine o’clock in the mornings.”
The children were still frozen in their places, staring at William at the back of the room.
“Get on with it then, don’t just stand there. Be seated,” William ordered, and every child scrambled for their seats and looked to the front. “Good. Now, I won’t be here every day, but you never know when I will drop by. I better find you all seated and listening by the time the bell rings.” William held up a heavy bell which he walked up to Anna and placed on her desk.
Anna took a deep breath, and the shot still rang in her ears. “Very well. Now that Officer Anderson has deafened us and scared us half to death, let’s get on with today’s lessons. I also have some uniforms shirts and aprons to hand out that must be worn each day.”
William gave her a smile that the children couldn’t see. Anna didn’t smile back, but she was sure the amusement danced in her eyes. She discovered her husband was quite the joker when he wanted to be. “Thank you for your help. I don’t think a shotgun blast will be needed again.”
William tipped his hat. “Good day, Ma’am.” Then he turned and pointed around all the children. “Remember, you never know when I’ll be watching.”
