by Faye Sonja
It was getting on to dusk and then Jack opened the door and strode in. “Amelia? You’re here? Why?” he stood with his hands on his hips and frown on his face.
“We’re married. I’m not leaving. If you tell me face to face to go because you don’t love me or want me here, I’ll go.”
His face softened and he scooped her into a hug. “I can’t tell you to go. Why do you think I had Adeline here to do it?”
“Why did you try to make me leave here?”
“This place, it’s rough. I’m rough. You aren’t used to that. I needed to know you’re sure about being here. The marriage can be ended.”
“No. I want to make this work. I love you, Jack. I want you to show me how to be a rancher, and I want us to make this successful.”
“If we’d lost those cattle, my father would’ve taken this place over.”
“You’re father owns your ranch?”
“Until I pay him back his money.”
“I didn’t realize.” Amelia looked down; no wonder the cattle were so important.
“It’s fine. Boy, something sure smells good.”
“I made stew from Adeline’s recipe and I got water and wood in.”
“Amelia, you have just saved me two hours’ work. I’m going to freshen up. You serve some of your stew in a bowl, and get us a spoon. We’ll have a real dinner together.”
“I hope it tastes okay.”
“It will taste like the best stew in the world to me.”
Amelia let a big smile spread over her face. She’d never felt this satisfied. She hoped it would continue.
* * *
8
Discovery
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“I’m marrying you, tomorrow,
not your parents.”
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One month later
Amelia stepped out of the bedroom just before Jack and she smiled. Amelia felt a whole part of her she never knew was missing had now been found. She thanked the Lord every day for bringing her and Jack together. In the past four weeks he’d taught her to ride horses, fire guns, and do fencing.
They did most of everything together and had become quite inseparable. Amelia now had some paints she’d bought and often took herself to the riverbank to relax and sketch. She loved her country life but she knew the time had come to broach the subject of going to New York again.
The cattle would be led to market over the grassy plains in the four weeks before the market, and Jacob had cowboy friends to do that. If they were true to their word, then that would leave her and Jack free to go and get those documents and destroy them just before her ma and Averill came out on the train. In fact, they could all travel back together. It was the only way to see them all safe from Lex Baxter.
She placed the kettle on the heat and stoked up the fire with small wood. It roared into flames. She warmed her hands a little and then closed the door on the fire.
“I’ll make the tea. Shall we cook some bacon?”
“That would be lovely. Just a little for me, thanks.”
“Are you troubled, Amelia?”
She sighed. She could hide nothing from him now. “If we are to get back to New York by train, we’d need to leave right when the cattle leave for the market.”
“The cattle leave on Friday.”
“But that’s only three days away. I’ll need to pack for us right away. When are Jacob’s friends arriving?”
“There is no one coming. I should’ve told you this as soon as Jacob told me.”
“How long have you known?”
“Two weeks. Everything was so good. I didn’t want to spoil it with things we can’t change.”
Amelia felt ill. She knew what was coming and he’d hidden it from her. “Who’s taking the cattle overland?”
“We are, Amelia. We must. I have to sell those well and get more.”
“We had an agreement for New York.”
“No. You had an agreement for New York. I said it would depend on the cattle.”
“In your letters to me you promised we’d steal the documents and make my family safe.”
“You’re safe out here.” Jack threw some bacon in the pan and it sizzled.
Amelia fought back the tears but they managed to fall down her cheeks anyway.
“He won’t come here. It’s too far. Surely he will just leave it in the past.”
“That’s hardly what the problem is. You’ve as good as lied to me. I put my trust in you. Had faith in you.”
“I’m sorry, Amelia. I’ve no choice.”
“In that case, I’ll travel to New York on my own.”
Jack pulled the pan off the heat and forked some bacon into a bowl. He brought over the loaf of bread and butter and began to cut a slice of bread. “You’ll do nothing of the sort.”
“I will. This needs to be done and if you won’t help me, I’ll do it alone.”
Jack glared at her when he finished cutting his bread. “You’re my wife. You’ll be with me.”
Amelia pushed her bacon away. “This is ridiculous.”
“It’s too risky for you to go there alone. Inside his house. He might do anything with you.”
“He won’t even know I’m there.”
“No.”
Amelia stood up and threw her napkin on the table. “So you won’t allow me go alone, either?”
“If you go, then you go as a divorced woman. No need to return.” His stare was serious.
“You don’t mean that!”
“Try me. I need you to help get those cattle to market. You’ll be riding out with me.”
Amelia stormed out the back door and let it slam behind her. He’d cheated her. Jack never had any intention of going back with her or letting her go. She should just go anyway and never come back. She almost ran to her spot by the river and sat on her favorite large boulder.
The water ran over the rocks and it usually soothed her, but not today. How could he leave it until now to tell her? She cried and cried before drying her eyes. There were chores to be done and this wasn’t getting them done. With any luck Jack had gone to check the boundaries without her.
Since Jacob had stayed on as sheriff, no poachers had shown their faces in the area since Amelia had first arrived. She remembered that night and what might’ve been. It scared her very much to think those kinds of people were out there. When she got back into the house, Jack was still there. He handed her a long list. “We need all these things packed up for the cattle drive. It’ll be three week and then a week at the camp area while we wait for the sales. Chance to check out the competition.”
“I’m not coming.”
Jack turned to her and gave a loud, rough sigh. “Amelia, why must we argue about this? Either you are with me, or you are not. You choose. I’ll take you to Adeline right now if you wish.”
“Very well. No, don’t. I’ll ride there myself.”
“Adeline will tell you the same thing. She’s never wanted you to go on this trip.”
“You told her, after you swore secrecy?”
“I told James. I’m not sure who he told.”
“You’re sure. You’re getting them all to gang up on me.”
“Don’t be childish. Adeline came to me and asked me to stop you going.”
“She’d never do that.” Amelia might believe a lot of things but she knew Adeline would not advise her not to follow her heart.
“Fine. Go ask her yourself.”
“I will.”
* * *
Out riding the boundary, Jack felt awful about how upset Amelia had gotten. He really didn’t have time to find any cowboys. He had no money to pay them, and poachers will also be a danger out in the open. He needed Amelia to help.
He’d admired her quiet stubbornness at first. Not today, though. Today it was the soft and lovely Amelia he needed to find. But he doubted he’d see her for a while.
He heard the galloping hooves in the distance and knew she was headed for Adeline. He feared she wouldn’t like the news there any better than here. Adeline had come to him asking him to not take her to New York. It was far too dangerous with Lex Baxter. He was cunning, and cruel.
Although he knew how Amelia would react, he hoped the time along the trail under the open sky would go some way to mending the hurt he’d caused by going back on his word. Perhaps after Adeline had spoken with her, too, Amelia might soften her attitude to him a little. It was true that there were no cowboys available to help. They all needed jobs that paid and not promises of pay.
If the cattle never sold, he’d be owing. He expected his cattle would sell well, but it was so hard to rely on anything out here. One thunderstorm could ruin a year’s work. There’d been none since Adeline arrived, when she and James fought back from the brink. Jack just wanted to get this sale done and use the money to buy poorly cattle to raise well, then by the end of next season’s sale he’d have enough to pay his father back.
If he never saw another cow, he wouldn’t care. This was existing to him, not living. The only thing that made it bearable was having Amelia here to brighten his days with her cheerful chatter and positive attitude. He’d bought her a few colors of paint and some paper and she painted every Sunday after church. She swore it made the world of difference to her and that he should take time to put into his writing.
He didn’t see how that was going to happen anytime soon. Why waste time on things that wouldn’t pay? His father may be right about that much. If the Lord meant for him to write, why would he have him on a ranch? He needed to have faith that this was right for him. He kept riding the fences and planning his route through the best grasses with the cattle; he wanted to get there a day early and find some interested buyers.
His cattle needed to be talked up because he only had fifty and many were looking for herds a lot larger. He had room here for many more heads of cattle on his hundred acres. Sixty of it he’d sold off to James for money to set up and build his cabin, barn and the stables. He’d kept some aside for him and Amelia to live on.
He headed for the cabin again now. It would be a two hour ride back along the fence line. He wondered if he’d be alone tonight. Probably. He deserved to be after shattering her faith in him like that. They’d leave in two days. He couldn’t do this alone. He could see he might have to go and beg her before she went along with him.
Two hours later, back at the cabin, Jack walked into a cold home. No smells of cooking. No crackling fire. No smiling Amelia. If he thought he’d ever been lonely before, he was wrong. He fetched water and wood and got the stove going. Was she coming home? Maybe she’d finally decided enough was enough. He ate the leftovers from last night’s meal cold; he just needed something in his belly and he didn’t care how it tasted.
He’d begin to gather the stores needed for the trip and pack them in the covered buggy. That would be their shelter if the rains came. Activity would fill in the time. He’d take three horses. One pulling the cart, one tied to it for Amelia to ride out on when needed, and his own. The food would be simple. Beans and biscuits most nights and anything else that was cheap and plentiful.
He packed it away in cloth bags and put water into large canteens. There’d be water on the way, but he never went without it. He just kept gathering and packing. Jack worried Amelia wouldn’t be back. He couldn’t go and see her and leave the cattle alone. Maybe a night away would be good for her, although he hated the thought of being alone here without her.
Just at dusk, he heard hooves and put his head out the door of the cabin. Amelia rode her horse into the stables and after about an hour she came back to the cabin. Jack had sausages in the pan and corn in the pot. He wouldn’t be eating alone, at least.
She greeted him quietly. No hugs, no smiles. “I’ve made a decision regarding my future here.”
Jack’s heart thudded with dread. “Yes.”
“If I am forced to accompany you with the cattle and you go against your given word to me about New York, I will go with you to the markets at San Francisco but I’m taking my art with me.”
“I see.”
She shook her head. “No, you don’t see.”
“Go ahead.”
“I’ve seen in Adeline’s newspaper there is to be an exhibition for local artists at that time in San Francisco. I am going to get my artwork noticed there.”
“And if you do?” Jack didn’t like the feeling he was getting off this conversation.
“If they like my work, if it’s suitable for sale, I’ll be staying in the city to work and sell there.”
* * *
9
Dream Alive
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“I’m marrying you, tomorrow,
not your parents.”
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Amelia watched the realization come over Jack. She was doing this for him. For them. He hated it here and he needed to be a writer. He needed to give himself the chance to prove he could.
“You’ll leave me here?”
“No. I hope you’ll stay with me and write your novels.”
“What? Are you out of your mind?”
“Yes. I am. Out of my mind with seeing you hating what you do here. You want to write, so write.”
“How will we eat? Where will we live?”
“We’ll find a way. The Lord will find us a way. Follow your heart, Jack.”
“Oh. My parents will love that.”
“You stood up to them for me. You can do it for yourself. You aren’t a child, Jack. They can’t hurt you now.”
“What of the ranch? Let Pa have it and heap guilt on me every time I see him?”
“He does anyway.”
“I can’t do this. What if no one likes my stories?”
“What if they love them? We can sell the ranch, pay your pa, and live our own lives.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“You are the only one who’s making it difficult. I can’t stand being with a man who won’t stand by his beliefs.”
“If your art doesn’t sell?”
“I’ll find out what it is that is selling and paint that until someone gets an eye for mine.”
“This is a huge risk.” Jack paced the floor now, the frown deep on his brow.
“It’s a leap of faith, Jack. If we don’t believe in us, who will? God helps those who help themselves.”
“But I’d be giving up on this, and I hate to give up on anything.”
“Except yourself.” Amelia stared at him. “Now you know what my plans are. You can decide what you choose to do. Stay with me, or return here with the cattle.”
“You’re only doing this because I made you choose between going to New York or staying here.”
“No, you were right about that. Adeline told me she’d asked you to stop me. I was angry with her but I could see she was very worried about my wellbeing.” Amelia watched the run of emotions play over Jack’s face. The Lord had shown her that advertisement. It was a sign. She had to take a stand and convince Jack to do what made him happy.
She didn’t want to lose him, and the truth was she’d never leave him, but she couldn’t let it go without trying her hardest to make him truly happy with his life. Her pa had lived with things eating him up inside. She’d never know what that was, but he couldn’t have been happy. She didn’t want to see Jack end up with regrets that ate away at his happiness.
This was her chance to make them both live the lives they wanted to live. Failure wasn’t a thing to fear. It was how you grew and learned. Amelia wanted this more than anything right now, and she wanted to see if her art had a chance. She’d painted, sketched and drawn many of the landscapes around here, and they made her excited when she looked at them.
There was something special about these works. They had the emotion of the landscape captured. She’
d never done that before. She’d never had emotions before. Always happy. Always bright. Always in denial about life. No more denial. Living out here had shown her emotions were okay. You could have them and feel them, even bad ones. No more hiding from life and denying what she wanted.
“Amelia, I can’t promise you I can do this. But if you’ll join me in taking in the cattle, then I will support you taking your artworks in, and I promise I’ll think about your concerns.”
“That’s good enough for me. Now, are you going to serve supper or keep me hungry all night?”
“I’m so glad you came home.”
“So am I. Running from problems doesn’t make them go away. If I want honest communication from you, then I need to give it back to you. I’ve been playing happy. I’ve loved the ranch in so many ways, and I’ve learned so much. I wouldn’t change a day of it. But I need to give my art a chance. It’s what I truly want.”
“You’re a very brave woman.”
“I think you can blame Adeline for that.”
“I must thank her for sending you my way.”
“I’d wait until San Francisco for that. You may change your mind.”
“Never. One thing I’ll never doubt is how much I love you.”
“Then come on this adventure with me. We’ve got nothing to lose by trying.”
“We’ll see.”
“We shall.”
Jack put their dishes of food on the table and said a short prayer of thanks. They both ate in silence, but Amelia felt a cloud had lifted off her. They’d found a workable compromise and the rest would be up to God. If she was on the right path, he’d show her. She’d pray every night for guidance on the matter, and for her husband to make the right choice for him.
If it was this ranch, if that was his true calling, then that was alright too. But she wanted him to be happy with that choice and not looking back.
* * *
The cart was packed and the horses geared up. It was a lovely morning. Amelia’s art was rolled up in waterproof hides, and safe from damage. Her heart hammered at what they were about to undertake together. This ride with fifty cattle wouldn’t be easy. Rustlers were likely, and keeping the herd together would be tricky.
