by Faye Sonja
"Jedediah I'll..." She tried to grab him, tried to stop him from leaving. "Please. I'll find a way to get the money back. Maybe I can talk to Isabella, explain to her what happened..."
All he did was shake his head. "This isn't about the money, Susan, and you know that. It's about whether or not I can trust you," he growled. "And right now I don't think I can," he added before he walked out into the cold night.
* * *
6
A Close Call
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“ Please God, let me find a way out of
this mess I have created for myself.”
.
White Elk, 1871
Two Weeks Later.
Weeks passed, and Susan, trying to keep the peace, left Jedediah to tend to his wounds by himself. She busied herself with her writing and her walks with Mollie and Isabella, as she wrote about her experiences in White Elk. One particularly bright morning, when the sun was making a rare appearance over the quiet little valley, Susan woke up to some exciting news: she'd had some post delivered. Jedediah handed her the letter and watched carefully as she opened it, hoping she would give him an explanation of the contents when she was done reading it.
She was practically jumping up and down, so he knew it must have been good news. Something exciting, perhaps. "Well?" he said. "Go on then, tell me what the letter is about?"
"Oh?" she said, casually, folding it up and tucking it into her apron pocket. "Oh, it's nothing." She waved her hand dismissively. "It's just from my Ma, back home."
Jedediah gritted his teeth, but he didn't say anything more on the subject. "If she wants to keep things secret from me then she must have her reasons," he thought. So he simply nodded at her, giving her a peck on the cheek as he headed out into the sunshine, with the dark woods beckoning to him in the distance.
* * *
When Jedediah arrived at the edge of the woods, a shadowy figure crept out from behind a tree to meet him.
"Hi Thomas," Jedediah greeted him, casting a look over his shoulders in both directions to make sure they weren't being watched by anyone. "You haven't see Kit stalking around here, have you?"
Thomas shook his head as he chewed a stalk of hay between his teeth. "Don't worry, this is just between you and me."
Jedediah sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Not sure I really like that, Thomas." Each time he came out to hunt, he had an image in the back of his mind of Kit struggling, one-armed, with the axe, all on his own. "I ought to tell Kit what I'm doing. I owe him that at least."
"Aw, you know Kit," Thomas said, still chewing the hay lazily. "He'll have all sorts of objections."
"It ain't right for me to leave him working on his own, Thomas. I can't keep doing this much longer."
"That's what you always say, Jed."
He swallowed, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, well this time I mean it. Things have changed now. Susan wouldn't like me doing this sort of work. And I don't like keeping things from her."
"It's for her own good, ain't it? Better she doesn't know. That way you can buy her the nice things, and still keep her safe."
Jedediah wasn't sure. Lies had a way of driving a wedge between people even when the best of intentions lay behind them. He wanted to give Susan everything she needed - everything she desired - but he had to wonder if the price was too high.
"I'm having trouble keeping her away from the place," he noted, nodding towards the thick pine trees that stood tall behind Thomas. "She's real keen to get out here, to record stuff down in her diary, or whatever she does." He thought back to that morning, how secretive she'd been about that letter that had arrived. "I had to make up all sorts of stories to keep her away, and I don't think she's buying it." Susan was smart, he realized that. A writer, a woman who'd had a career all of her own before she'd travelled to White Elk. She may have written stories, but she wasn't easily tricked by fairy tales.
Thomas shrugged. "Just tell her it's too dangerous for her up here." He also cast a glance over his shoulder, at the dark, forbidding pine forest. "It ain't a lie, anyway; it's no place for a woman on her own, up here in the woods. Surely she's sensible enough to realize that."
"Sensible," Jedediah thought, with a scoff. Now there was a word he wouldn't use to describe Susan. She had a fair amount of common sense, yes, and she was intelligent, but she was also headstrong, and brave, and imaginative. Not 'sensible'. Not sensible enough to stay away from places that would scare off most women.
Thomas placed his hands in his pockets and began to walk. "Come on them, no sense standing around here all day. You've got bears to hunt."
* * *
With Jedediah gone, Susan whisked the letter out of her apron pocket and read over it again. "Yes," she thought, her eyes scanning the pages. "It's true - I didn't simply imagine it! They are going to print my story!" She untied her apron and threw it down on the bench, before bustling out the door and down the street towards Mollie's house. She was so excited she just had to tell someone.
She knocked on Mollie's door and waited as the now heavily-pregnant young woman waddled over to the door and pulled it open. She beamed at Susan and invited her in, clutching her back as she went.
"Sorry to make you get up," Susan said, noticing the strain that Mollie was under. She frowned in concern. "Do you want me to leave again, to let you get some rest?" Mollie shook her head and said that was unnecessary, gesturing for Susan to take a seat on the sofa.
Mollie and Thomas had, by far, the nicest house of the three new couples, and Susan couldn't help but feel a little envious as she glanced around at her friend's fine things. She had to quickly remind herself to be grateful for all that God had blessed her with, and how much she truly had, rather than be jealous of what her friend had.
"Still," she thought, "It must be nice to be married to a Sheriff." Susan thought about her own husband, about how she barely knew where it was he actually got his money from, or when the next lot of money was coming in. He claimed he worked all day chopping wood, but she wasn't so sure. Every time she asked about it he closed up, like always, and didn't want to speak on the matter.
Mollie handed Susan a cup of tea and sat down beside her, her belly protruding so far out she almost knocked the tea pot off the table as she reached over to pour her own cup. "You seem excited this morning, Susan. Have you had some news?"
Susan nodded gleefully. "I have..." she waited as Mollie finished pouring her cup. "But are you sure you're okay? I feel a little silly telling you my news, looking at the state of you."
Mollie waved her hand again. "Oh, I'm fine. Besides, I could do with a distraction from thinking about this all day," she said, pointing down at her stomach. "Besides," she said, giggling a little. "I can tell you're just dying to tell me!"
"Oh, I am," Susan said, clasping her hands together. "I had a letter from the paper today, saying that my story is to be published in next week's edition!"
"Oh, that's wonderful news!" Mollie sat her tea cup down and reached over to grab her friend's hand. "Oh, I am so pleased for you, Susan. Is Jedediah pleased, as well?"
"Eh, not exactly." Susan reached forward and picked up her tea cup before taking a sip.
Mollie frowned. "He's not pleased for you? Why ever not?"
"He doesn't know," Susan had to admit. She sat back in her seat, thinking about how much she would love to have shared the news with her husband. Not that she didn't derive joy from sharing the news with Mollie, but it would have been even sweeter still to be able to tell Jedediah about her good fortune. But she knew how he would react. He'd be appalled to know that she was still chasing her own career, earning money for herself. She'd heard how he spoke about Isabella, how he thought Kit ought to be ashamed to have a wife who worked like that. So what would he say if he knew his own wife was earning money?
"Won't he realize it's you when he reads the paper
next week?"
Susan had already thought about that, and made plans. She shook her head. "I used a pen name."
"Oh," Mollie said, then looked away from Susan.
"What?" Susan asked, frowning at her friend. "Come on Mollie, I can tell there's something you want to say. You don't approve, I can tell."
"I just know that you wanted to make something of yourself, Susan. Have a career. Become known as a famous writer. How can you do that, if nobody knows who wrote the story?"
Susan realized there was some truth in her friend's words, but she still felt like keeping it a secret was the best option. "I will know I wrote it. And you," she added, smiling, gripping Mollie's hand. "And Isabella as well, of course. I'll tell her soon enough."
"And what about your husband?" Mollie asked gently. "He will be proud of you, Susan. Oh, I really think you should tell him the news."
"I'll think about it," Susan promised, standing up and straightening her dress down. "I really better be off though, I've got a busy day planned. I'm going to go for a walk in the woods."
Mollie's eyes grew wide. "You're going for a walk in the woods...all on your own?" She lowered her voice as she placed a hand on Susan's arm. "You know what they say about the woods, Susan."
Susan sighed and chuckled a little. "Yes, I'm well aware of your fairy-tales, Mollie..."
"Oh, it's not just me. Others say they've seen strange creatures up there as well."
"I'll take my chances." She reached over and gave Mollie a peck on the cheek. "Now, you stay safe here, alright? I'm going to come by to check on you tomorrow."
"Okay. You stay safe too, Susan”…"
* * *
Susan arrived at the edge of the woods, and right in that moment, out in the clean, fresh, chilly air, she could have sworn she was all alone in the world. Even when she looked behind her, the town of White Elk was hidden safely away in the valley. She could almost pretend, for a while, that civilization had never touched the place, that she was the very first person to ever explore the place. A true pioneer.
She took a deep breath and hitched the hem of her skirt up, wishing that she could wear pants like Jedediah and the other men did. It would make for much easier walking. But, as she took that first step into the woods, she forgot about any impediments to her journey and simply took off, entranced by the beauty of the woods.
There was an eerie silence to the woods, she noticed that right away. She would have thought there'd at least be the chirping of birds, or the sounds of leaves crackling as small creatures ran below foot, but there was a real stillness in amongst the trees.
People did say nothing could live out here. Nothing could survive. She reached down and patted her satchel, feeling for the diary inside it. She would wait till she arrived at a clearing before she started her writing, but she wanted to reach down and feel the comforting bump, which somehow made her feel less alone.
She squinted as the light grew thin. Pine trees were thick and she could barely make out anything more than a few meters in front of her.
"Maybe Jedediah was right," she started to think, as a nervous feeling started to play in her stomach. "Maybe it is too dangerous for me out here." She looked around in all directions, spinning around, as she struggled to regain her sense of direction. She'd always thought she had a good internal compass, but she was starting to forget which direction she'd come from, and which direction she was headed.
Finally she stumbled onto a clearing, and she gave a deep sigh of relief as the sun, which trickled through the break in the tree tops, warmed down on her in a thin beam. She still rubbed her arms though, wishing she'd brought a thicker coat with her. She'd assumed the walk would warm her, but if it was at all possible, she felt even colder than she'd been when she'd left the house.
She looked down at the ground, which was covered in twigs and broken branches, pine cones and needles. She stopped. "What is that?" she murmured out loud, bending down for a closer look. "Oh no..." she said, standing back up, looking around her quickly.
Blood.
She took a step backwards, her ears pricked for the slightest sound. If there was blood on the ground, that meant there were animals out here. Large animals, from the looks of it.
And an injured animal was bad news.
Very bad news.
As she stopped, frozen, completely still, she became acutely aware of everything around her, the beating of her own heart thudded in her ears, as she looked around, searching for any sign of the wounded beast.
Another roar, so loud the ground beneath her shuddered. Susan took a step back in fright, tumbling over. She reached her hands out behind her to break her fall, but she still landed flat on her back, her head cracking against a log as she hit the ground.
Then, for a moment, blackness.
She squeezed her eyes open, coming back to consciousness. This time there was another tremor across the ground; she felt it in her back as she lifted herself onto her elbows. She gave a quick moment's thought to how ruined her dress was, if she could save it with a bit of darning, then another roar blasted through the trees and she tried desperately to climb up.
There was a thud, and this time the ripple that went through the earth was not from a roar, but from the impact of a large body toppling over. The roaring stopped.
Susan realized her breath was coming in so sharp and ragged that she could barely get a full lung's worth. She reached up and pulled at her collar, straining to get a breath of air. She pulled behind her back at her bodice, feeling like the corset was strangling her.
She tried to keep still, tried to see if the noise had definitely ceased. Silence.
Relief finally flooding her, she tried again to pull herself up.
But then another noise. Footsteps. Heavy. Thudding boots that slammed against twigs and leaves, shaking the earth.
Susan, flat down against the earth again, could only see the bottom half of the figure that was stalking towards her. She caught a glimpse of heavy boots, and a shotgun swinging from a man's arms, the barrel brushing against the earth.
Her breath was ragged again, and she used all her might this time to pull herself up, but her dress caught against the fallen tree trunk and she was pulled down the ground again. All she could see was the shotgun, and all she could think was, "I'm next."
The footsteps reached her, and finally she looked up and saw the man standing over her. That handsome, chiseled face, with the dark hair that fell into his eyes and skirted his cheekbones. The scar that protruded, barely, from the top of his collar.
"Susan?" the voice whispered.
"Jedediah..?" Susan gasped, her head spinning as she tried to stand up. He walked over to her, seemed to be swaying from side to side as she blinked heavily and struggled to focus. He reached a hand out to pull her to her feet, but she was so weak that she couldn't heave herself up. She almost managed to pull Jedediah down to the ground instead, till he balanced himself. He bent down instead, and scooped her up, so that one arm was around his shoulder, and her legs dangled off his arms, as he carried her through the woods and home to safety.
* * *
It took hours for Susan to get her strength up again, to come around to full consciousness. When she was finally able to eat, Jedediah brought her a bowl of stew that he had cooked himself on the stove. She took an unsteady sip, her hand shaking as she brought the spoon up to her mouth.
"Better you try to eat a little more," Jedediah commented, emotionless, as he watched her from a seat next to the bed. "You could have been killed, Susan," he added quietly. "Did you even think about that before you took off?"
Susan took a few more sips before lying her head back on the pillow, keeping one eye on Jedediah the entire time. His eyes never left her face, and his arms remained crossed over his chest as he sat and observed her.
She shut her eyes, then finally spoke, her throat dry. "Please tell me I imagined the entire thing, Jedediah."
Her eyes still glued shut, she sat and waited for a res
ponse. When none came she opened her eyes slowly and turned her head over on the pillow so she could see him properly. His arms were still crossed over his chest and his lips were still sitting in a thin, firm line.
He stood up, pushing the chair back roughly as he went. "We'll talk about this in the morning, Susan. You need your rest now." He blew out the candle as he left, shutting the door behind him.
* * *
Susan knocked frantically on Mollie and Thomas's door, feeling relieved when it opened almost immediately, but less relieved when she saw it was Thomas.
"Oh," she said, bowing her head a little. She managed to remember her manners, greeting him properly before she asked, "Is Mollie home?"
He looked over his shoulder, then turned back towards Susan with a frown. "Yes, but she needs her rest. She's not feeling so well today."
"Yes. Of course she does. I'll...I'll leave you alone then. Sorry." Susan half turned, wondering if she should just leave, but she couldn't; she stopped and asked Thomas instead, "You haven't seen Jedediah, have you?"
Susan watched Thomas's face closely as the look of something flashed in his eyes. He controlled his mouth for a few seconds before straightening it. Finally, he answered. "No. I would assume he is chopping wood, though."
"Of course," Susan answered, quickly and politely. "That is his job, after all." She bowed her head and apologized for wasting his time. "I suppose I'll go check for him down at the wood chopping site," she added, casually, turning to leave, wondering if Thomas would say anything in response to that.
"Erm, wait," he said, and Susan turned back around, looking at him as though she were surprised.
"Oh, what is it?"
"Just...I was down there a bit earlier, er, myself," he began, stopping to clear his throat. "And I think I heard some scary noises..."
"Scary noises?"
