by Sara Wolf
I shake my head and pray Lee is alright. All I can do is keep communicating with him, keep him from descending too deep into whatever shady pit of revenge he’s set on. Kiera might be bad, and need to be stopped, but going down to her level isn’t any better – people would get hurt that way.
I see Morgan’s parents in the lobby, but they turn their noses up and walk past me without a second glance. I hope she’s alright. She’s the sweetest little girl I’ve ever met, and I’d hate to see her get in trouble with her jerky parents because of me.
I suddenly realize I’m ravenous. Jacques’ serves lunch, and I surprise myself by eating two plates of fettuccine, and an entire basket of garlic bread all by myself. I haven’t eaten this much since I was in high school, and growing nearly an inch a month. It must be all the skiing and exercise, and I’m probably burning more calories on average to keep my own body at regular temperatures. Even the waiter looks surprised. I leave a good tip (Riley’s a waiter at his part time job, and he always complains about the importance of tipping), and head into the lobby. The massive fireplace holds a warm blaze, couches strategically placed in a semi-circle around it. I sink into the soft cushions, and, exhausted by skiing and all the emotional drama, I fall easily into a gentle sleep.
Chapter Four
In Which Rose Jensen Is Being Followed
When I wake, the light outside the massive lodge windows is dimming slightly. Sunset is still far off, but I look at my phone and start in my seat – I slept nearly seven hours! I must’ve been more tired than I thought. Grace has sent me a dozen texts, all worried and asking where I am. I respond quickly, and she says she’s got a surprise for me. She says to bring my swimsuit, and meet her on the fourth floor. Swimsuit? Since when did this place have a pool? And even if they do, there’s no way this California girl is swimming in below-freezing water.
She says to bring my swimsuit, and meet her on the fourth floor. Swimsuit? Since when did this place have a pool? And even if they do, there’s no way this California girl is swimming in below-freezing water. I put my one-piece on under my silk underwear and jeans. I pull on Lee's sweater, gingerly, not wanting to ruin it, even though I've ruined it already. I can't put it on without thinking about him, and it only leads to a hot pooling between my thighs and frustration in my heart.
I sigh, grab a couple of towels just in case, and lock the room behind me. To my dismay, an OUT OF ORDER sign is hung over the elevator. The fourth floor is a bit of a walk, and my legs start cramping after the third flight of stairs. The stairwell is eerily quiet.
Just then, I hear a soft footstep not my own. I freeze up and strain to listen for another, but it never comes. I look up and down the stairwell, but there's no one I can see. I shrug and keep walking. The footsteps are louder this time, and I whirl around immediately. I still can't see anyone.
"Hello?" I call out. My palms are starting to sweat, and a tiny kernel of fear settles in my throat, but I push it out and keep walking.
The footsteps start running.
I instantly burst into a sprint, taking the stairs two at a time until I shove through the fourth floor door. I don't even bother looking behind me as I run down the hall and turn the corner, frantically looking for someone, anyone, so that I can feel less alone and terrified. If there's someone after me -
"Rose!" Grace's voice floats down the hall. Relief washes over me as I see her waving at the end of it, and I run towards her.
"Are you okay?" She asks. I pant, trying to catch my breath. When I can talk again, I grab her arm.
"Someone was...running behind me in the stairwell!"
Grace's eyebrows furrow. "Are you serious?"
"I-" I look behind me. There's no one there. "I heard them! Someone was running after me."
Grace holds my hand and leads me around the bend in the hall. "C'mon. This way."
She pulls me down more halls, and finally we reach a fire escape leading to the roof. These stairs are tiny and gray, the chilly dusk air making me shiver instantly. That's when I see it - on the roof is a massive hot tub, bubbling and steaming and looking more inviting than anything I've seen in my life. Grace steers me towards it.
"You stay here and get in the tub. I'll go see if I can find one of the staff and tell them what happened, or better yet, the creep who was following you. There's only one way up here, the door, so you'll definitely be safe."
I murmur a thanks, and watch her go nervously. I skim my hands over the hot water. It soothes the tension in my hand almost instantly. I look around to make sure what Grace said was true - sure enough, the roof is five stories up and the only way here is through the door I have a clear view of. There's a platter of cheeses and crackers balanced near the hot tub that I hadn't seen before, and though it's silly, I feel better knowing a small sharp knife is near if I need it.
Why would someone chase me, try to scare me like that? Kiera? No, the footsteps had been too heavy to be a woman.
I shake my head and undress. The hot tub water is searing, but combined with the cold temperature it feels like slipping into heaven. The contrast warms my cheeks and eases my aching muscles. I make sure I position myself in the hot tub so I can always see the door, and cut myself some cheese and crackers. I nibble, then chew, suddenly realizing how ravenous I am. I poke at my belly - I've been eating way too much, and in the swimsuit it definitely shows. I've put on weight.
By the time Grace gets back, I've eaten nearly everything on the plate. I shoot her a sheepish smile.
"Sorry."
She glances at the plate and waves it off. "It's fine. I talked to the maid, and she said she'd send security to check out the stairwell. I didn't see anyone in there, but maybe they will."
"Thanks so much, Grace."
She undresses and reveals her tiny yellow bikini before sliding into the hot tub. She lets out a content sigh as the hot water bubbles around her.
"Work's been tough, huh?" I ask. She nods and massages her neck.
"Ferdinand's been a slave-driver lately. He's really eager to see you, you know."
I point at my belly. "I bet he'll be less happy to see me like this."
"Like what?" Grace frowns. I stand in the water and show her.
"See? I've gotten fatter. My arms are wider, too."
She inspects me with scrutiny, narrowing her eyes, and finally she leans back.
"Huh. You're right. I almost couldn't tell. It's not much. You could probably lose it in a month or two."
"Ugh, who has that kind of time?" I roll my eyes. "I have a degree to earn and a school to graduate and a famous bakery to open."
Grace laughs. "Speaking of bakeries, there's some really cute ones in the village. Ferdinand's shoot is there tomorrow night. You should come along!"
I could use a break from seeing Lee and Kiera, and the constant pressure that whole complicated web is putting on me. I smile.
"Sounds great."
Grace leans her head back, and lets out a breath. "Some guy told me about this place. He must work here, or something. I asked him if there was an extra charge for using it, but he said no. Kinda odd."
"A guy? What guy?"
"Blonde, beefy, spikes his hair up," Grace says.
"That sounds like Felix."
"Felix?"
"The beginner's course ski instructor. He's new. Apparently he's a friend of Kiera's dad's."
This makes Grace narrow her eyes to tiny slits. "Is that so?"
There's a long silence, and finally Grace looks away from me, to the low-dipping, pale sun on the horizon.
"I'm sorry about all the stress with Lee," She says. "I didn't know he'd be here, otherwise I wouldn't have invited you."
"It's okay, really. Not your fault."
"I feel like it is," She sighs. "He likes you a lot. You like him a lot. Now that he's engaged to that bitch, that only shows more."
I feel my face heat, but it has nothing to do with the temperature of the hot tub.
"He might like me, but he's got a
duty to Kiera," I say slowly.
"Why? Just because he agreed to marry her?" Grace scoffs.
"He also has a history with her. And he needs to see it through, or work it out. He just needs to figure it out," I say. "Whatever's between them is between them."
"Hate to break it to you, but her and Lee have kind of involved you. Or she has, but Lee's just as guilty. He shouldn't have let her get to you in the first place."
"It's no one's fault, Grace."
"How can you say that? After how much you've been through?"
"He had his reasons for choosing her," I say.
"Yeah, and his reason is he's a fucking idiot." Grace snarls.
"But he's your fucking idiot."
"And yours," She corrects. I shake my head and smile.
"Not anymore."
There's another poignant pause. The sun is even lower now, and a raven flies from a distant pine tree, soaring over the sky.
"I worry about you, sometimes. Be careful," Grace says.
"I will."
She turns her soulful eyes to me, a soft warmth in them. "Promise?"
I squeeze her hand under the water.
"Promise."
***
LEE
***
I haven't told anyone.
Kiera knows, of course. Maybe that prick Felix knows because she told him, and Farlon definitely knows. Kiera's dad probably doesn't. Two people in the world know for sure and one might know.
They know why I agreed to marry Kiera.
They know how much money came of it for me, but not really for me. Most of it went to Rose's school grant. The other half went to Farlon to pay off his stupid gambling debts so the loan sharks wouldn't kill him. Kiera tied the package up in a neat bow by buying Rose's grandpa's house.
Four people in the world know I agreed to be Kiera's finance for money. Myself included. I have to live with that knowledge every day, and the burning regret has left its mark. The regret has shown me how stupid I was, thinking I could solve everything and protect Rose just by agreeing to marry Kiera. I only dove further into her convoluted web of lies and secrecy. I only gave her more power to hurt Rose, not less.
Grandfather would think I'm a moron. He was the father to me and Grace that Farlon never was. He was the one who showed us how to ride the purebred show horses our family farm was breeding - Farlon never stepped foot in the ring, let alone the stable. Grandfather showed us how to care for horses, how to treat them well, and in turn, how to be truly kind to living things. Judging by the way Rose's eyes grow hurt when she sees me, I probably didn't learn that last lesson so well.
Grandfather would call me an idiot for what I've done. I took the coward's way out. But how could I fight against someone as powerful as Kiera? Her influence in the upper echelons guarantees she can get anything done, at any time, for any price. And what she wants is me. She's the definition of the ex-girlfriend from hell, and pretty soon she'll be the wife from hell.
Grace doesn't know why I married Kiera, and though it may make her hate me, I'm not going to tell her if I can help it. The less she knows, the better. Kiera is already targeting Rose - I can't afford for her to target Grace, too. I know Grace would be able to take care of herself, but it's more a matter of principle. Grace isn't the type to even let me protect her, less so now that she hates me for, in her eyes, ditching Rose. And if Grace ever knew, if I ever told her, she'd try to help me fight Kiera. And that would only make Kiera target her. I have no choice but to fight this on my own.
I sigh and stretch my arms. They're sore from skiing. It's been so long since I've swam - part of Kiera's agreement was I stop going to UCLA, so I pulled out. I miss the water. Out here it's all snow and trees, landlocked with no sign of the ocean on the horizon. The lobby is bustling with last-minute skiers heading out to the powder. I see Felix leading another group of beginners and I glare at him as he walks past. He might fool everyone else, but I know he's no good. He flashes me a smile and waves.
"Hey, Lee!"
His class is looking my way, but I won't let that persuade me into pretending to be his friend. I get up from the lobby couch and walk out of the entrance. The parking lot is laden with a thin layer of crisp, fresh new snow on all the cars.
And that's when I see it.
At first I think I made it up in my head, but then it comes around again - a black SUV, with a very familiar license plate.
Farlon's car.
I blink, rub my eyes, but it's still there, driving around the lot before pulling into a spot next to a red Camaro. Half of me wants to make sure it's him, the other half yells at me to stop caring. So what if he's here? He's not my father anymore - he's just a guy who used me to clear off his debts and save his own skin.
I watch the SUV for a moment longer. Farlon gets out. He looks old as ever - hair graying even more and his face lined with sour, repressed bitterness. We lock eyes from across the parking lot, but I don't bother giving him the pleasure of a staring contest. He's not worth my time. I let him know that by scoffing and turning back into the lodge.
Just as I head back to the room, I feel a vice grip on my arm. I turn to see Grace, frowning and glaring, with her hand on my arm.
"He's here," she says.
"I know. I just saw him. But how do you -"
"He texted me." She holds up her phone. "Why would he even be here?"
"I don't know," I say, relishing the first real conversation we've shared in a while. The one at dinner with Rose didn't count - she was just putting on a pleasant show for Rose's sake. But now she's showing her real self to me, the self that hates my guts but tolerates me because I'm still family.
"This stinks of some kind of plan," She growls. "He never goes anywhere without an intent to mess things up."
I bite my tongue. Grace is sharp. Kiera and Farlon were the masterminds behind the marrying thing. They coordinated everything. If they are working together now, what could they possibly want?
"I'll ask Kiera," I murmur.
"What?" Grace snaps. "Ask her about what? Why Farlon's here? Why would she know? She doesn’t even know him all that well."
Shit. I shrug and try to play it cool.
"It's fine, don't worry about it."
"It's not fine, Lee! You know something and you aren't telling me! I'm part of this family too!"
"I know you are, Grace, but I promise there's nothing -"
"Goddamnit, Lee!" She stamps her foot. "You're my brother! You're my brother and I care about you! If Farlon's doing something -"
"Just stay out of it," I say softly. "Please."
"I can't! You have to tell me -"
"I don't have to tell you every little thing that's going on in my life, Grace, and you don't have to pretend to care. We aren't twelve anymore."
Her face goes from furious to distraught in less than a second. She looks like I've hit her, hard, her breathing shallow and her eyes more wounded than I've ever seen them. I've done something wrong. I've hurt her, but not as much as Kiera could hurt her. I've hurt her, and now she'll pull away from me. Pull away from Kiera ever getting the chance to hurt her in real, terrible, irreversible ways.
And then I put the acid cherry on top of it all. I make the brutal coup d’état.
I turn and walk away.
I don't ball my fist until I turn the corner and she can't see me anymore. Anger and sadness swirl around just behind my eyes. I focus on the window, the snowscape outside of it, a blanket of white that seems to go on forever. Outside, in the snow, Rose talks animatedly with Felix. Morgan isn't anywhere to be seen.
I feel my fist tighten. Rose flashes a tentative smile at Felix, and something in my chest shrivels up. She used to smile at me like that.
Maybe she never will again.
And then I feel another emotion broil up in me. Something I haven't felt since I saw her outside my apartment building with that other guy when I gave her the invitation.
Jealousy.
It's dark and burning
and like nothing I've ever felt before. It's worse than when I saw her with that guy months earlier. It's irrational and it's stupid - I don't even deserve to feel any jealousy over her. I more or less dumped her to marry someone else. What kind of asshole am I?
I watch Rose ski down the hill, smiling the whole way.
I'm the kind of asshole who's still in love with a girl who might never forgive me.
***
ROSE
***
"You're actually pretty good for a sun girl," Felix says as he skis down the hill and comes to a stop beside me.
"Sun girl?" I pant, pulling my scarf down to talk more clearly.
"You know, beach girls. That's the kind of girl that lives in like, California, or Florida. Hawaii. Cuba, and Barbados and stuff."
I sigh and motion to my arm, pale from the winter season. "Do I look like I surf to you?"
"You don't tan either then, huh." He nods, looking impressed. "Good. It's bad for your skin. Plus there's enough of those orange Hollywood bimbos running around."
"Felllixxxx!" The shrill shout comes from the top of another ski hill. Felix and I look up - Kiera, in a bright red, fur-lined ski jacket and tight-fitting ski pants is waving. Felix half-smiles and waves back, then turns and shoots me a grimace.
"Like that one."
"She's not a real Hollywood bimbo," I correct.
"Yeah? The whole way here she kept blabbing about her new tit job."
"They are pretty nice," I laugh.
"Shit knows she can afford them," He sighs. Curiosity nags in the back of my brain.
