by Jordan Ford
“That’s what Martin said.” She grins. “He told me I should make a cake or take you kids out to dinner, turn this day into a celebration instead.” Her shoulders slump. “But I just don’t think I have it in me.”
“I can’t imagine Layla going for it either.”
Mom lets out a derisive laugh. “No. Your sister’s got a ways to go yet.”
We both go quiet. I don’t know what Mom’s thinking about but right now, I’m remembering Dad’s last birthday. He was undergoing chemo, but still wanted a big party. People crowded into our house, trying to ignore the stench of impending death…trying to act as though Dad would recover and things would go back to normal. Dad had covered his bald head with fake tattoos and Layla spent most of the party suctioned to him. I’d hung back, not wanting to get too close, or make myself too vulnerable. Even at twelve, I could sense what was coming, and I was already making myself battle-ready.
“I fell in love with your father the very first day I met him. You look just like him, you know.” Her eyes shimmer as she smiles at me. “He was playing football. It wasn’t a Raiders game or anything; they were just messing around after practice. He collected the ball off the snap, then ran back and was about to launch it down the field when I caught his eye. We both just stood there staring at each other, and the rest of the world disappeared…until he got sacked by Uncle Wade.”
Mom’s back there right now. I can tell by the glassy look on her face and the dreamy lilt in her voice. She chuckles and shakes her head.
“He loved the game so much…” She tips her head. “But I think he loved me more.” She sniffs, her eyes hitting me with an unexpected strength. “When you told me you weren’t signing that letter of intent, I was heartbroken, because I felt like I was losing your dad all over again. Everything you’ve done has emulated him and now you’re breaking away. I don’t know what to do with that. I thought playing made you feel close to him.”
“It does.” I nod. “Which is why I’ll always be up for a casual game of touch or messing around with the guys. But Mom, following in his footsteps won’t bring him back. I have to accept the fact that Dad’s gone, and I can’t be responsible for keeping his memory alive. I’ve got to walk my own path.”
Mom’s face bunches as she tries to smile and nod.
“I’m sorry it hasn’t worked out the way you wanted,” I murmur.
Mom won’t look at me as she shakes her head and smoothes down her skirt. “It’s okay, Mack. You are just like your father. You love football…but you love her more.”
My lips part.
“I’m not blind, honey. You haven’t been the same since she left. I don’t know everything that happened or why she’s suddenly gone, but…” She looks up at me with a tender smile. “She must be something real special.”
“She is,” I croak. “But, uh…” I shake my head. “I’m not just doing this for her.”
“Good.” Mom smiles.
“Besides, I don’t know if she wants me. I can’t reach her and, um…” I clear my throat. “What do I do? Mom, what do I do?”
She gets off the bed and walks across to me, crouching at my feet and resting her hand on my tightly threaded fingers. “Getting together with your father was the easiest thing in the world. When I lost him, I thought I’d never feel joy again. But then within a couple of years, Martin came along.”
My stomach clenches, but I force myself not to react.
“I know you kids don’t love him, but he fought for me and I am so grateful. Love doesn’t always come easy, Mack. But the relationships you have to work for, they are precious… They’re worth it. Don’t let her fears, or yours, stop you from having something beautiful. Be romantic. Sweep her off her feet. Do something that proves how much you care about her. She’ll have no choice but to stop and listen then.”
Mom’s face starts glowing, and I hope to God she doesn’t launch into details of how Martin finally got her attention. I distract her with one of my megawatt smiles, then wrap my arms around her.
“Love you, Mom.”
“Oh, sweetie. I love you too.” She grips me tight, her last-ditch effort to hang onto me.
She doesn’t know it, but I’m already gone.
I know what I have to do now, and I hope like heck my mom will help me pull it off.
#36:
Can I Have Your Attention, Please?
Kaija
I haven’t found the courage to email Mack yet. I don’t know what to say to him. I’ve typed so many emails that are now sitting in my trash folder, unsent. I feel kind of mean considering the beauty of his speech. The longer I leave it, the bigger the gap between us grows. He’s probably already getting over me.
I showed the speech to Eloise on the weekend and she’s convinced it’s an invitation for me to initiate contact…but he didn’t even know Anderson was recording it! Eloise rolled her eyes at me. I think she was enjoying listening to someone else’s problems instead of talking about her own for a change.
She started school last week. Her mum dropped us off and we walked down the stairs side-by-side, into the big quad area. We didn’t make eye contact with anyone, just stuck together like glue until we were forced to go our separate ways when the bell rang. I’ve been keeping a really close eye on her this week. Anna and her crew of bitches are no doubt brewing something, but I’ll scratch faces if I have to. No one’s getting near Eloise this time.
It feels good to fight for someone. To be on the right side for a change.
As usual my mind goes to Mack and how he fought for me…stood up against his whole school…and I still can’t find the words to thank him. I don’t know why I’m making such a big deal of this.
Maybe it’s because I’m scared that if I connect with him again, I’ll never get over him. He may not be going to Boise State anymore, but none of those college apps on his desk were for Auckland University. We can’t make this work. It’s too hard.
I hate that logic hurts. It should be making me feel better, not worse.
Hitching my bag onto my shoulder, I tug on my stupid blue shirt. This uniform is so ugly. I can’t wait for this wretched year to be over! It’s currently March and school doesn’t finish until early December. Oh, man, I hope I can do it!
I scan the main quad for Eloise but she’s not there. We usually walk to school together, but she had a counseling session this morning and isn’t getting here until morning break. Well, it’s morning break and she’s still not here.
I spot Anna and Hanson smirking at me from bench seats near the graphic design rooms. It’s the cool kids’ new hangout spot, and it’s a pain in the ass because everyone has to pass there to get to the tuck shop or down to the field. It’s the central walkway and they sit on the seats like a row of seagulls, mocking and sneering as students walk past.
I turn my back on their smug smiles, trying to be unaffected by the fact that I’m standing like a lone loser. I don’t give a shit. I only have eight and a half months of this crap to go. Clenching my jaw, I hold in my sigh and focus on the glimmer of crystal water I can see in the distance. Macleans backs onto Eastern Beach, and the view from the fields is absolutely stunning. I stride over to the edge of the quad for a better look. I may as well head down to the field and watch the guys play rugby.
I’m just moving that way when a screeching Eloise makes me jerk and spin to face her.
“Kaija!” She runs down the stairs so fast she nearly loses her balance. The seagulls scoff and squawk from their perch. Eloise ignores them and jumps down the last few steps, turning her trip into a skip.
Her blue skirt twists askew as she races over to me with bright eyes.
I capture her hands when she reaches me. “Far out, how good was your counseling session this morning?”
She giggles and shakes her head. Her hands are quivering as she shakes mine.
“There is a super-hot guy…” She puffs then swallows, trying to catch her breath. “He’s at the front office.” She points behin
d her. “He’s asking for you.”
My head jerks back. “What?”
“You know the best part?”
I tip my head, still trying to process what she’s telling me. What guy?
“I recognize him...from this video I saw on the weekend.”
My breath hitches. My mind fuzzes, buzzes…suddenly stops working. “He… Is it…”
“Yes!” Eloise squeals, then jumps on her toes.
I can’t move. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I should be running for that office, but I’m kind of in shock right now. My heart doesn’t know what to do with itself.
It can’t be Mack.
He wouldn’t…
I look up.
And there he is…standing at the top of the stairs, gazing down at me. For a second, I relive our first moment—that look we shared. We’re doing it again. Staring at each other like it’s the only thing we were made to do.
My stomach does this little flippy thing, then nestles down nice and slow on a wistful sigh that tells me everything’s going to be okay now. My heart should be racing but it’s not. It’s calm and warm, and knows just what to do.
A smile stretches my mouth wide as I step around my jumping friend and walk towards Mack.
He looks tired. His clothes are crumpled and his hair’s all mussed, but nothing can take away from that grin on his face. Hot damn. He lopes down the stairs. He’s in jeans, a T-shirt and his letterman jacket. He couldn’t look more American if he tried. I love that about him.
Everyone in the quad is picking up on this epic moment. I can feel eyes on us from every bench seat, window, and pathway. I can sense their whispers. “Who’s that guy?”
I don’t care what they’re saying. Nothing can stop me from wrapping my arms around his neck the second he’s within reach. With a husky chuckle, he picks me up off the ground and holds me close. My legs wind around his waist, twisting at the ankles while I squeeze the life out of him. His arms encase me, his broad hands splaying over my back as he holds me securely.
What we have isn’t a lie.
There’s no con. No prank.
Just raw, unchecked emotion made up of all the good things life has to offer.
“You’re here.” My voice quivers.
“I didn’t know how else to get your attention.”
I squeeze a little tighter, tears brimming on my lashes as I murmur, “I love you.”
He sighs and shifts his hands beneath my thighs so he can lean back and look at me with a tender smile. “You don’t know how badly I needed to hear that.”
“You don’t know badly I needed to see you here.” I sniff and slash my tears away. “You came all the way to New Zealand…just to get my attention.”
He shrugs. “I needed to show you how big the feels were.”
I grin and bite my lip before burying my hands in his luscious locks and bending forward to kiss him. He tastes just the same, his warm lips filling me with that intoxicating mixture of electricity and comfort. His arms grip me tighter while his tongue dives into my mouth.
The bell tries to pull us apart, letting out a shrill ring that sends a wave of movement through the quad. Mack’s arms tighten around me and I tip my head, nestling further into the kiss.
I don’t know what’s going to happen from here.
I have no idea how long Mack’s staying or even what the rest of this day holds…let alone our future. All I do know is that I’m right where I belong, and logic can stick it.
I’m in love with Mack Mahoney, and I’m not going to let a little thing like distance put a stop to that.
#37:
One Look Changed Everything
Mack
The air is cool, but not cold. It’s a refreshing tickle on my skin. I wrap my arms around Kaija, who’s nestled in front of me. My legs are on either side of her. She’s completely encased by me. I love that.
Her long fingers curl around my forearms as we gaze out at the ocean together. I can’t believe the beauty of this place. Idaho is a land-locked state, and New Zealand is surrounded by water. It’s insane. Kaija’s house is a five-minute drive from about four different beaches. Right now, we’re snuggled up on a picnic rug at Eastern Beach. Her school is up on the hill behind us, but we’re facing the water. The islands in the distance are murky, black shapes, the moonlight not quite reaching them. It’s sparkling off the water now, creating natural fairy lights that I can’t stop watching.
We haven’t said much since we arrived about an hour ago. Her parents have been nice enough to let me stay in their guest room downstairs. It’s been an amazing two-week break—sightseeing, hanging out with her family, getting to know her friend Eloise. But I’ve got to get back. I timed the trip so I’d be here over Spring Break, and Mom let me take one extra week off school—not that she could have stopped me, but it was nice that she agreed. She even loaned me money for my ticket, and drove me to the airport.
Layla’s picking me up, which is a good thing.
Something’s up with that girl, and I need to find out what it is.
I asked Finn to watch out for her while I was away, but the last time we spoke he was really hedgy. Layla hasn’t been much better. In fact, last time I tried to Skype, she refused and I made do with a long text conversation instead. She’s always been crap at hiding things from me. Hopefully once we’re together, she’ll cave and tell me what the hell has been eating her. I’m also planning on grilling Finn. He’s supposed to be stepping up and keeping her safe, but something in his communication has been amiss. I’ve got to get back and figure out what’s going on.
But it means leaving Kaija. And I really am not looking forward to that part.
I nuzzle my lips into the crook of her neck, breathing her in, trying to memorize every smell, taste, and feel. Leaving her tomorrow is going to suck. We haven’t really talked about our future, too busy making up for lost time. She skipped out of school a couple of times so we could spend the day together. She’s been the world’s sexiest tour guide, I can tell you that.
I’m totally in love with Auckland. It’s the coolest city, surrounded by blue water, boats, and fitness freaks. I’ve never seen so many joggers and cyclists. New Zealand seems to thrive on healthy living. I could do well here.
I rest my chin on Kaija’s shoulder and sigh.
“I don’t want you to go either,” she murmurs, gripping my arm as if it might make me stay.
“I know, but I gotta graduate.”
“And check on your sister.” She turns to look at me.
I force a smile that she sees straight through.
“I know you care about her a lot and I love that, but…” She purses her lips, her gaze skittering down to the ground before popping back up to mine. “She’s not your responsibility.”
My face bunches with an I know kind of frown. Kaija’s totally right. I’m not her father. I just feel so bad leaving her behind. When I was set to attend Boise State, I would have only been a three-hour drive away. That’s peanuts—a day trip.
If I follow my heart, we’re talking miles….like seven thousand of them.
“She’s going to be okay.” Kaija’s fingers brush my light stubble before dipping into the dimple on my chin. She follows up the move with a kiss that makes me forget about time and space. I glide my hands up her back, spinning her around properly so she can sit in my lap. Her knees hug my butt, her body pressing against mine as I hold her close.
Her long hair falls forward, creating a curtain around us. I brush my tongue against hers, lost in the power she has over me. There’s only one way I’m going to be able to leave tomorrow…and that’s if I have the promise of coming back.
Pulling out of the kiss, I cup Kaija’s face and look into those eyes that own me. “What if I apply to Auckland University? I read they do mid-year intakes, or I could find some kind of job to see me through the rest of this year, and then start with you in February.”
Her smile is wide, her eyes sparkling as she whispers,
“I’d like that.”
“Yeah?”
“You know I would.” She lightly slaps my shoulder with a laugh. “You sure you’re willing to be that far from home?”
“I can’t be that far from you, so…yeah, I’m sure.”
Brushing her teeth over her bottom lip, she gives me another dynamic smile before shaking her head. “You know, when I fled this place looking for a new start, I never expected to find you. After what I did, it seems drastically unfair to be blessed this way.”
I grin. “You’re an unexpected surprise, as well. My life was set and you’ve turned it on its head.” I brush my lips against hers and whisper, “Thank you.”
She smiles down at me, running her thumbs beneath my eyes. “These eyes. You have no idea how powerful they are. Maybe that’s why I tried to resist you so much in the beginning.”
“I thought you were just overwhelmed by my charm and didn’t know how to handle it.”
She tips her head back, letting out that deep, belly laugh of hers. Damn, I love that sound. I press my lips to her exposed neck while she giggles, then teases me. “You still think you’re such hot shit, don’t you, mate?”
“Nah, you’ve blown that theory right out of the water.” I grin. “Now, I’m just a guy who fell in love with a girl after only one look.”
“You fell in lust with a girl after only one look. You fell in love trying to win me over.”
“No.” I shake my head and make sure she’s looking at me. “One look changed everything for me. For us. Turns out love at first sight is actually a real thing.”
“Well, aren’t we the lucky ones.”
“I’m never gonna forget it.”
Her emerald eyes begin to sparkle and I wind my arms around her again. Her mouth claims mine and I remind myself to hang onto everything about this moment. This girl is mine. I am hers. And although we’re saying goodbye tomorrow, we’re going to be together forever.
Thank you so much for reading The Red Zone. I hope you enjoyed it. It was an absolute pleasure to write. If you’d like to show me some support, I’d love for you to leave a review… This is a great way to validate the book and let other people know what you thought of Mack & Kaija.
