Losing Francesca

by J. A. Huss

  Frank walks away and never says a word.

  Lindsey takes Aimee upstairs. Angela rubs my arm and says, "Goodnight." And then it's just Sean and me.

  "You're not my brother," I say cruelly.

  He just stands there and stares at me for several seconds before he finds his voice. "I am your brother, Fiona. I am your brother. We're not blood related, but we are siblings whether you want to admit or not. And I understand that this is confusing, so I'll leave you alone. But it's not my fault you were taken, it's not Frank's fault you were taken, it's not our fault that this is happening. He stole you, Fiona. He stole you and probably killed our mom. This is all his fault, not ours."

  Sean walks out the door and I'm left there alone as the heat finally breaks through as tears.

  I go upstairs quickly even though I'm starving from not eating all day, and both Aimee and Lindsey are peeking through their doors as I turn to look at their rooms. I don't know what to say so I hesitate. Both doors close softly like they choreographed the whole thing and I go into my room and close mine as well.

  Chapter Seventeen - Brody

  "What do you mean a SWAT team was at the farm?"

  Case, my sixteen-year-old brother, is looking at me like I'm making it up or something. "I mean there were guys in long black cars wearing suits, and they came with a team of very scary-looking dudes who had red fucking lasers on the end of their rifles. That's what I mean."

  Parker, the fourteen-year-old who thinks he's forty, chimes in. "Maybe she's a Russian spy?"

  "Yeah, Park, that's what she is. Fucking Fiona Sullivan got kidnapped twelve years ago and became a Russian spy."

  He rolls his eyes at me.

  "Well," Case is back in action now, "if you're just gonna be a dick about it, then go tell someone else about your screwed-up date with Fiona."

  They both walk out of the kitchen with their pizza and take a seat in front of the TV in the connecting family room. "I mean," Case continues, "we're only pretending to be interested in this whole thing to make you feel better, anyway. It's not like we really care. She got herself kidnapped. So what? She's home now, right? End of mystery, case closed."

  I wish it was that simple, I want to say. I want to scream it actually, but it's clear that my little brothers have more important things on their minds. "Hey, where's your phone, Case?"

  "Pocket, why?"

  I walk over and hold out my hand. "I need to use it for a while. You can share with Parker. I let Fiona borrow mine and I want to walk back down there and see if the Black Ops guys are gone and then I'm gonna text her."

  He sighs. "Shit, Brody, are you falling for this girl, or what?"

  I snatch the phone out of his hand and smack him in the head. "Don't say shit, shithead."

  "Hey," he calls out as I leave the room, "if Lindsey calls or texts, be nice to her."

  I shake my head.

  "And ask her out for me, will ya? I'm too shy!"

  I wish Renn was home so I could talk this shit out with him, get his opinion of the whole Fiona-Francesca fiasco. But he's on a business trip in Savannah right now and won't be back until the weekend. He remembers, he knows, he understands what this means. And he has no idea she's even back. I'd call him but this is his big deal he's been stressing over for months, some big bonus if he scores.

  I turn the front room lights out and then sneak over to the windows to peek through the curtains.

  No shadows that I can see, but those guys were pretty well blended in with the woods back by the farm. Fee saw them though, she tried to warn me.

  And she didn't sound too surprised that they were there. In fact, she acted the exact opposite of surprised, like she was expecting them or something.

  Outside looks clear but there's only one way to make sure.

  I walk out the front door and head down the driveway.

  No one stops me so I just keep going. I walk all the way over to the edge of the Sullivan property and then hop a horse fence and walk across a long paddock until I get to the backside of Sean's carriage house. I can see the TV lights flashing through the windows and some sound leaks out from the screen door. When I peek in he's sitting on his couch, feet up on the coffee table, lost in thought. I knock softly. "Hey."

  "You are the last person I want to talk to right now, Brody. Get the hell out."

  I open the screen and let myself in. "Well, I'll do that if you want, but I had a pretty long and interesting conversation with Fee today and I thought you might be interested in what she had to say."

  His interest perks up. "And you're gonna tell me about it? Why?"

  "Renn's out of town and I really need to talk this shit out. She's got me so fucking confused."

  He points to the chair next to the couch. "Join the club. So what'd she say?"

  "She misses her family, Sean. It was heartbreaking to see that come out and be true. She talked about her dad and her life and she said flat out she's not unhappy at how she was raised. So I don't know…" My thought trails off because Sean is looking at me like I just betrayed my country.

  "So I'm the bad guy here? You came over here to tell me I'm the fucking bad guy, is that it?"

  I turn away. "That's not what I said or what I meant. I just thought you should know that forcing her to stay here is hurting her too. That's all. It's not all about you, Sean."

  "It's not all about you either, Brody. I get it, you have a thing for her, but she's my sister, dammit! You're nothing compared to us."

  "Right, well, I was the one she trusted today, not you. So you know what? Maybe you should consider her feelings in all this and cut her some slack. Because right now you're just as nothing to her as I am to you."

  "Get the fuck out."

  I stand up and walk towards the door, then turn and get the last word in. "And you better reevaluate your plan real fast too, Sean. Because we've got a few weeks before she turns eighteen and if we don't play our cards right, she'll take off and never come back. She says her dad's some rich dude, she's been to school in more than ten countries. She's got money, and people with that much money can do whatever the fuck they want when you get right down to it. So if you want to keep her, you better change your attitude. Because whatever you guys did to her this morning, you pushed her buttons in all the wrong ways and she ran. You're just lucky I picked her up, so you know, you're welcome for that."

  I walk out before he can say anything else, pretend to go back across the pasture, and then sneak around front to scope out the Black Ops situation. There are a few guys left, two cars, and no suits, so I figure things are not so bad. I take a chance and text my phone to see if she picks up.

  Chapter Eighteen - Francesca

  This plan is getting very messy, very fast, I think as I wipe my tears away. I go to the terrace doors and walk out to see if the place has been cleared of FBI agents.

  It hasn't. There are several men still out there, walking around and talking on those little microphone things they wear on their shoulders. One spies me and salutes and I'm not quite sure what to make of that, so I just go back inside and decide a bath will calm things down. It's not late, only nine thirty, and I'm not really tired because of all the adrenaline still coursing through my body, so maybe a hot bath will relax me enough to sleep.

  I run the water, dump in some bubbles, and then start taking off my clothes.

  Brody's phone falls out of my jeans pocket and I just stare at it for a few moments. And smile.

  I have a phone.

  I totally forgot that I stuffed it into my pocket when we decided to go to the lake. I grab it and swipe my finger to wake it up. The picture I took of our feet is still on the screen and I let out a long sigh. Well, I have internet. That's something. I doubt this phone has an international plan, so I can't call my dad. But maybe I could buy a calling card or something? Maybe Brody will take me into town and help me find one that will let me call internationally?

  I've never had to do that before, I've always had an international phone,
and in some places I even had a satellite phone. But the phone was the first thing they took away, thinking it would give up my secrets.

  They were wrong, of course. They think we're amateurs at this or something. It's almost cute how stupid they think I am.

  The phone vibrates in my hand and scares me so bad I drop it on the pile of clothes.

  My hand goes to my heart and I breathe out the word, "Shit!" as I pick it back up and read the text.

  I'm so glad you're home.

  I stare at it for a minute, not sure what's going on.

  Oh, this is Brody.

  I smile.

  Can I call you?

  I hurry up and text yes and a few seconds later the phone buzzes the incoming call and I answer with a tentative, "Hello?"

  "Fiona Sullivan, I miss you already."

  "OK, so I guess you're going to call me Fiona, right? It's settled?"

  He hesitates for a second. "Well, look, if you want me to call you something else, just say so. But you are Fiona, right?"

  It's my turn to hesitate now.

  "Never mind. I don't care, OK? I don't care. You're Fiona to me and whatever the hell is going on, I don't care."

  "Brody, listen, it's so complicated. It's not that I want to make this painful for everyone, it's just that I'm caught in the middle of something so big, I have no idea what's really happening. I'm someone, but I'm not really sure who at this point. I have a family, but I'm not sure about that either right now. I have a home, and even though I'm enjoying you, very much," I admit, "I want to go back there very badly."

  "I told Sean to go easy on you," he says, changing the subject abruptly.

  "When?"

  "I just came from his place, I'm walking home right now. Unless…"

  I smile at his bait. "Unless?"

  "You want me to turn around, climb that tree, and appear at your terrace door right now." I don't answer right away and he keeps going. "OK, I'm gonna take that as a yes."

  I laugh and listen to him breathe heavy for a few moments as he does something requiring effort. Like climbing a tree.

  "I'm on my way, Fee. You better stop me."

  "What if I don't want to stop you?"

  "So you are hot for me! I knew it! Too late. I'm here. Open the door."

  And then I hear a tiny little tap, tap, tap and for a moment I think I might lose consciousness. This isn't like last time when he came in by mistake and I had no idea who he was or why he was here. This time, he's here to see me. I scramble to pull on some shorts and a t-shirt I find in the top drawer of my dresser.

  "Fee, open the stinking door! There's Black Ops guys out here, ya know?"

  I tiptoe across the room and open it and he slides in smelling like a boy who lives on a lake. I want to breathe him in so bad, but I find I can't breathe at all. He's stolen the breath from me.

  "You OK?" he asks.

  I nod as I remember to inhale. "Yeah, but I'm not sure what to do with you now that you're here."

  He grins so wide I have to laugh. His hand comes up to my mouth and covers my lips as he bends down to whisper in my ear. "Shhh, quiet now, you're gonna get me busted."

  And then he takes my hand and leads me over to the bed, because that's the only place in the room to sit, besides the desk chair, and he doesn't look interested in sitting in that old wooden thing and neither am I. I figure if you invite a boy into your room in the middle of the night, you should at the very least let him sit next to you.

  He pulls me to the bed and looks at my shorts and t-shirt. "Mmmm, I like this," he says, running the hem of my shirt between his thumb and forefinger.

  Oh, God.

  "You're nervous?" he asks. "You want me to leave, Fiona? I won't stay if I'm making you nervous."

  "No," I say quickly. "That's not it. I mean, yes, I'm nervous, remember? No time alone with boys of any kind. This is new territory for me."

  "Well," he says, lying back on the bed a little and then pulling me towards him. "I'd just like to say how sweet it is that you've been saving yourself for me all these years."

  I laugh again.

  "I mean, really. Pining over me since you were six, it's just so damn sweet."

  "Is this how you get lucky with all your girlfriends?"

  "Yeah, it is," he says seriously. Then he takes my hand and squeezes it. "But you're not about getting lucky, Fiona. I'm not even going to kiss you tonight, let alone try for a home run."

  I lean back into him, enjoying his warmth. Every tingle going on in my body right now is brand new to me. I've never had a boy touch me like this. "Well, we made it home, neither of us got arrested, can't this be the perfect night for a kiss?" I want him to kiss me. Like, really bad.

  "Yeah, about that SWAT team you have out there, can I just say, what the fuck was that?"

  "The mouth on you!"

  "Sorry," he mumbles as he plays with my hair and I stare at said mouth.

  I have a sudden urge to attack him, hold him down, and make him kiss me. But I hold myself back. "Well, that question does not fall within the parameters of the game."

  "What game?"

  "The questions game. You know, you can ask me questions, but not about my other life."

  "So, your other life involves the FBI and lots of guys wearing black with lasers at the end of their rifles?"

  "Out of bounds, Brody."

  He turns his head and breathes out. "Fuck. That's weird." He turns back. "I mean, I was pretty terrified back there and you basically just told me that's normal for you."

  "That's not what I said. You said that. I said you can't ask about them. Ask about something else."

  He squints his eyes at me for a few seconds, then nods his head. "OK, then tell me what you do with the feet pictures."

  "Oh gosh! That's not a good one either! It's…"

  "What?"

  "Embarrassing, really. It's embarrassing. Something I've been doing since I was a girl. Not that I'm not a girl now, but a smaller girl. My dad started it first. Everywhere we went he took a picture of our feet near something famous, or that represented that place." I stop to smile and remember the first one in Rome. We dangled our feet in the Trevi Fountain and he took a picture of them surrounded by coins. "And then he'd put it in a special photo album of our trips. It's the only way we could be in a photo together. Just our feet."

  "Why can't you be seen in a photo with him, Fiona?"

  I make a buzzer sound. "Sorry, sir, that question is out of bounds. Now, I answered your question so you have to answer mine."

  "Wait, but what will you do with the one of our feet?"

  I smile. "Put it with all the others. I collect them now, since I'm older and I go all over. I take a picture of all the places I see, or if I'm doing something fun or cool. And then I put it somewhere special. My turn. Who was the first girl you kissed?"

  It's a bad question, and it's none of my business, but I want to know.

  "Susie Turner, fifth grade, spin the bottle, Mike Grippo's birthday party. My turn—"

  "No, wait! I get a follow-up!"

  "Says who?" he asks, grinning.

  "Me! OK, follow-up to kissing Susie Turner. Was she the one you wanted to kiss, or did you just get stuck with her because of the game?"

  "Stuck. My turn. What is the best place you've ever visited?"

  He's sneaky. He can't ask me where I live or where I've been, so he asks for my favorite place. "This is skimming the edge, you know."

  "Nope, this one is valid, it's a simple one, really. You answered the best day of your life one, so, best place you ever visited?"

  "I have to think about this one. Give me a second." His fingertips play with the skin on my shoulder, twirling in little circles, driving me so crazy I can barely keep my mind on the task of choosing a favorite place. I look over at him and the words come out impulsively. "Please, kiss me."

  I expect him to smile or laugh, but he doesn't. His fingers stop their tease and he sits up a little so he can lean over me. My chest
starts rising a little quicker as my heart picks up the pace. I can look at nothing else but his face. His mouth as he licks his lips. His eyes as he stares into mine. His hand as it cups my cheek.

  He traces the outline of my lips with his thumb and dips his mouth down to my ear. "I want to, Fiona. I really, really do. But I told you, when I kiss you it will be perfect. And while this day seems like perfection right now, I have a feeling it can only get better from here. So let's not jump the gun and cheat ourselves out of that perfect first kiss."

  Holy crap, I wonder if people can die from swooning. He just made my whole body tingle with heat, my heart jump a few beats, and my mind spin from the blood rushing to my face. "OK," I reply weakly. I'm not about to argue with that reasoning.

  "And I think it's time I go before I attack you right now and ruin everything." He smiles as he gets up and then kisses my hand. "Wanna meet me at my house for a Fruit Roll-Up lunch tomorrow? I gotta do some actual work, cars lined up in my shop that need to get finished, especially since I blew this whole day off. But I take a lunch from noon to one. Can you come over?"

  "I'll be there," I say breathlessly. And then before I can say anything else, he's through the door and I can just faintly make out his footsteps as he crosses the terrace.

  I think maybe I might like to be Fiona after all.

  Chapter Nineteen - Francesca

  The edge of the mattress dips down with his weight. I've been listening to the bustle of people outside my door for a few minutes and I was wondering if they'd make me get up and help today.

  Well, I have my answer.

  "I know you're awake, Fiona," Sean says, not unkindly.

  "How come you're the only one who cares about me?" He actually laughs and I open my eyes and turn towards him to see what's so funny. "What?"

  "We all care about you, we're just afraid of you."

  "Why?"

  "Because you come back refusing to speak English, you've been asked over and over if you're Fiona Sullivan and you either lie outright by making up really stupid stories that everyone knows are false, or you pretend not to understand the question." He stops and frowns down at me. "We think you hate us."