“Fish called. He said you needed me.”
“Take care of her, Mikie,” Mason said, trying desperately not to break down and sob in his brother’s arms. Just saying those few words broke a dam within him, and he was afraid he was never going to be able to patch the hole.
“I promise. You be safe, and come home,” Michael whispered, and before Mason could stop his brother, Michael grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. “You come home, you hear me? I mean it. You come home, big brother.”
Chapter Nine
The sun was starting to rise as Mason waited patiently at the tarmac, watching as his team checked their gear. They had it all piled up, in a nice and neat stack. Easy and organized, that was what he needed. Simplicity. Yet the thought of going back into the fiery pits of hell were anything but simple. Anything could go wrong. He knew that. Nothing was a foregone conclusion. However, when his mind should have been on the mission ahead, his thoughts were of her.
She was the one factor he hadn’t counted on. Before, he would run through every detail, memorize every map, every item they would need to see that the mission was a success. He didn’t have to worry about his family, because he knew they were safe, and would survive if he didn’t return. Sometimes he wondered if they would miss him, but they had their own lives to occupy their time, which made what he did easier. However, she didn’t. She just had Andrew. She was alone in this big wide world. Who would console her? Who would hold her hand while she cried? Who would understand what she was feeling? She had no one.
In the short time they had been together, she had blown into his life like a whirlwind and captured his soul. He worked hard to attain some semblance of normalcy, and when he didn’t want or need anyone, she was there. Her kindness and grace humbled him. Her smile warmed his cold, bitter heart, and her touch made him feel that anything was attainable. With one look, she could bring him to his knees, and with one kiss, she had the power to make him feel like he could achieve greatness.
She was the love of his life, and he was leaving without saying good-bye. He knew it was wrong. He hadn’t even told his family. In the short time since he moved to Cedar Creek, he had gotten closer with Michael and Mark. He should have at least called and let them know. Then there were their wives and his nieces and nephews. All sweet smiles and love, yet he hadn’t even called them. He should at least call his mother to tell her he was leaving, and would be gone for a while. But what would he tell her now? Would she even understand? If he called, his mom would call his brothers, then they would tell their wives, and before nightfall, Annabelle would know. He couldn’t do that to her. She deserved better.
She shouldn’t be the last to know.
Therefore, he decided to tell no one. It never bothered him before, taking off without letting his family know, but this time, it made him sick to his stomach. Taking a deep breath, he tried to ease the tension he was feeling. This whole mission was a bad idea. He knew that, yet the powers that be made the call, and because he and his team were the ones with the knowledge and capability of achieving the goal, they were up to bat. There was nothing he could do about that, because once a soldier, he would always be a soldier.
He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t leave without telling someone. It was wrong.
The sound of familiar jet engines slowly roared toward them. Looking east, he sighed as the C-17 approached. There was no turning back now. What was done was done. He could only look ahead, complete this mission, and pray he made it home. The plane landed easily and slowly rolled to a complete stop. The engines still roared as the door opened and the steps descended. The plane itself looked inconspicuous, but when three men, one of who was in a full dress uniform, walked out, Mason looked at his team and cursed.
The shit had just hit the fan.
“Man, he got fat,” Rich said, shaking his head.
“Must be all those pork rinds he ate,” Gunny replied.
“Naw, I bet it was that sympathy food he ate for killing all those good men,” Fish added.
“Sympathy food? That fat fucker never thought of anything but attaining the next pay grade. He never lost a moment of sleep over the men he sent to their deaths. I hope he drops dead of a heart attack.” Talkie seethed.
“By the looks of him, you might just get your wish,” Bird commented.
“Curb it, men. Let’s just get this mission over so we can go home,” Mason stated, halting his team from saying anything else that might get them into more trouble than they were already in for.
Walking toward them was Death himself, two-star general Devlin Rutherford. The name fit him perfectly. Who better to represent Satan than his own personal spawn. The pompous asshole grinned and smiled as Mason greeted Adam Little and the other suits. After several handshakes and laughter, the man actually had the nerve to look directly at him and smile.
Mason took one step and found himself surrounded by his team.
“No way, Cap, ain’t happenin’,” Fish whispered.
“Ignore him. That bastard will get his soon,” Gunny added.
“What Gunny said. Let it go. We have a mission to do, that’s all,” Rich stated firmly.
“Fine,” Mason growled. “You just keep that fat fucker away from me.”
“Hooah,” his team all said calmly.
When Adam Little motioned for them to follow, Mason didn’t wait for a second invitation. The team hustled, and soon they were all sitting comfortably aboard the plane. As it was taking off, Mason just leaned his head back and tried desperately to get his mind back in the game. He wasn’t going to be of use to anyone if he couldn’t. His team needed him now. At this moment, they were his family, and family never left anyone behind.
They had been in the air for little over an hour when the shouting alerted him. Turning his attention to the front of the plane, he watched as Adam Little argued with the general, his aides, and the other men in suits. Something told Mason that this mission had just gone from bad to worse. Adam was hopping mad, and what really got his attention was that he was not shy about voicing his opinion. Apparently, rank did not matter to him, and he said whatever came to his mind. However, when Mason heard him vehemently curse the men in front of him, he stood and decided it was time to intervene.
Walking toward Adam, the men stood as he continued to shout at them. Mason just smiled, grabbed Adam by the arm, and yanked him toward his team who stood behind him. “Excuse us. Einstein needs to use the bathroom.” He smiled and proceeded to push him all the way to the back of the plane. Throwing him toward their gear, Mason stood with his team, knowing whatever had pissed off Adam had to do with the mission. This mission wasn’t going to work if the team didn’t have all the information, and Mason knew the general wouldn’t divulge shit, so Adam was going to start talking whether he wanted to or not. When Adam turned, Mason wasn’t prepared for the fist that connected with his face.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Adam shouted, shaking his hand.
“Good question. Same goes for you,” Mason countered, rubbing his jaw.
“You first!”
“I thought you could use a cooling-off period. Things were getting too heated up front. So tell me, what has your panties in a bunch?”
“None of your damn business, Captain,” Adam shouted. “Now get out of my way.”
“Not a chance, Einstein. You are going to start talking right now.” Mason stood firm, blocking his path. He had had enough of this cloak-and-dagger shit. Mason wanted answers, and he wanted them right now. He refused to risk his life and the lives of his team with only half the information, and if beating the crap out of Adam got him that knowledge, then he was more than happy to oblige.
“Captain, I suggest you move, before I move you myself,” he threatened.
“Oh, asshole, this I would love to see,” Gunny chimed in, grinning.
The instant Adam moved toward him, Mason grabbed the man and subdued him. Oh yes, he fought like crazy to break free, but Mason was stronger than
he was.
“Maybe we should help?” Talkie asked.
“I got fifty on the Cap.” Gunny smiled.
“I don’t know, Einstein is wily,” Rich offered just as Mason thought he had the fucker in a tight hold, and the slimy little shit broke free and managed to get a shot at his kidney. “See, I told you.”
“Would someone like to tell me what the hell is going on here?” the general asked, moving quickly toward them.
Gunny turned and smiled. “Just a little bonding before the mission, sir.”
“Bonding, my ass!” the general shouted.
“They are just…” Gunny started to say but quickly changed his mind. He couldn’t think of the right way to say it, so he fumbled it. “The captain is showing him who’s the boss.”
The general looked at the men and noticed that they all were trying their hardest to hide the grins on their faces, so he, too, smiled. “Just make sure he doesn’t kill him.”
Mason elbowed Adam in the stomach, hard. When he started to fall to his knees, just to prove his point that he was the boss, Mason took one last swipe. Adam landed hard on his back, out cold. “Little fucker,” he said, wiping blood from his split lip.
Pushing past his team, Mason walked determinedly toward the front of the plane, where the general and his aides were deep in conversation. Slamming his hand down on the makeshift desk, looking directly at the general, he ordered, “With all due respect, sir, this is my team. Why don’t you tell me what the hell is going on?”
“It’s a clusterfuck, Captain, that’s what’s going on. The mission has now changed.”
* * * *
The sun was shining brightly through the window as Annabelle rolled over and relished the euphoric aftermath of Mason’s loving. The feel of him as he made love to her all night was one of the most angelic memories she would ever have. So attentive and giving, he showed her what true love was really about.
Turning her face into the pillow he used, she could still smell him. Her body instantly came alive, wanting him again. Stretching her arms above her head, she felt the crinkle of paper. Grabbing it, she smiled, thinking how sweet he was to leave her a note, but her smile faded as she read. Her heart beat faster and faster until her breathing was uncontrollable. Shaking her head, not wanting to believe what she was reading, she allowed the tears to fall.
My Dearest Annabelle,
I want you to know that last night was the best night of my life. Every moment I spent with you, I did so because I wanted to. You are a remarkable woman with a big heart. You’re beautiful, graceful, generous, and very loving. Don’t ever change.
If I could be there when you wake, I would, but last night after you fell asleep, my recall became active. As you read this, I will be in the air headed to some unknown place, and it kills me that I have had to do this to you. You have been perfectly clear with me on how you feel, and I won’t blame you if you walk away. Nevertheless, I am a soldier and I cannot deny my country the right to protect her and you.
I left knowing damn well what it could cost me, and I would rather die knowing I left you safe and warm in your bed, than do nothing and have something terrible happen to a country I love. I am so sorry for leaving you the way I did.
I promise I will do everything in my power to come home to you. I don’t make that promise lightly, for it’s the first one I’ve ever given. Nevertheless, in case something happens, and I am forced to break that promise, all I ask is that when you look across the open field as the sun sets, remember me, and the short time we had together. I know I never told you, and I am so sorry for that now, but I love you, Annabelle. I have from that very first night we were together.
Just remember I will always be there for you.
If you need anything while I am gone, call Michael or Mark.
Stay beautiful, buttercup,
Mason
“Oh God…No!” Annabelle screamed. Grabbing his T-shirt at the foot of the bed, she hastily threw it on and ran from her bedroom, shouting his name over and over, searching for him. As she ran into the living room, she collided right into the arms of Michael.
“It’s all right, Annabelle. It’s gonna be okay. Just breathe,” Michael said softly.
The windows were open and the bright sun blinded her as she collapsed in his arms to the floor, weeping, crying his name repeatedly as hot tears ripped from her soul.
She couldn’t lose him, she couldn’t.
“Mason.” She wept openly as the warmth of the morning sun began to wrap her in its loving embrace. Her heart felt as if it had been ripped from her chest. The pain was excruciating, unbearable, and she welcomed it, for she was the only one to blame. She had allowed him in. She had known it could happen. She had known it was a possibility but chosen to ignore it, and had gone with her heart instead.
There on the floor, in Michael’s arms, she cried for what was never going to happen. She cried for him, for her, and for what she would never have.
He left, gone in the night, just like her ex-husband before. She was alone.
Alone once again to deal with the fallout, the talk, the gossip. She gave up. In that instant, she knew she couldn’t handle it anymore. She was done. The pain hurt too much. She had given herself to him, trusted him that he would always be there for her. She had opened her heart to a man, and hoped he would never let her down.
Down in the depths of her soul, she knew what she had to do. It was simple, but her heart fought hard to keep him there. Mustering all her strength, she moved away from Michael, and stood. She could do this. She had done it before.
“Annabelle?”
“I’m fine. I’m sorry for my outburst. Give me a minute and let me compose myself. Would you like some coffee, Michael?” she asked on auto drive. She thought she could do this. She thought she had more time. He could have told her last night and he hadn’t. He had let her believe there was more time. It was one thing to know what was going to happen, but being faced with the reality of the situation was entirely different. She didn’t know if she could do this. He hadn’t even been gone a day, and the worry had already seeped into her veins. She didn’t know if she was strong enough for this.
“Annabelle, Mason asked me to come check on you. He is worried.”
Turning, she looked at the man who resembled her love in every way. “Where’s Andrew?”
“I thought it best that he stay with Rachael. You don’t want him to see you this way,” Michael said.
“Thank you for that,” she replied. “Did you know he was leaving today?”
“No. Mark and I had just gotten back with the kids from the camping trip when Fish called. I came right away. Mark is settling the kids with Rachael, and then he and Sarah will be over. I know this is hard for you. It’s hard for all of us, and we’ve dealt with this for years, but he always comes back Annabelle, always.”
Annabelle didn’t know what she was feeling. So many emotions were running rampant through her veins. She knew if she didn’t get control of herself soon, she was going to be sick. Anger, sorrow, pain, empathy, and fear were the most vibrant, yet longing, contentment, and love underlined them all. Chaos swirled within her. She wanted to scream, to cry, and to punch something hard. How the spouses of the military did this every day, she would never understand, but they did it. They did it day in and day out, and they did it mostly by themselves. They were the strong ones, not her. She was just a single mother, trying to hold it together for her son.
Then it hit her—so were they. The moment their loves left, they were single, too. The spouses were the rock, the bond that held their precious families together. The spouses had to be strong, not because they wanted the job, but because if they weren’t, everything would fall apart. Their soldiers needed them as much as the spouses needed their soldiers. Without them, everything fell apart.
Deciding if all the spouses in the military could do this on a regular basis, she could muster enough courage to see this through just this one time. For the last eight y
ears of her life, she had done exactly what they did, and she didn’t have a man to worry about, but now she did, and there was no way she was going to fail him. If he could go off to God knows where and protect all of his loved ones, then she could stay the course and be the rock he needed her to be.
She could do this. Nothing was easy, she knew that, but the reward was worth the fight.
“Michael, I need to get dressed. If you can give me a few minutes, I will make that pot of coffee, and then we can talk.”
“Take your time. I’ll make the coffee. I think once word gets out, your house is going to be inundated anyway.” He smiled, heading for the kitchen.
Yes, she could do this.
The hardest part was taking that first step.
Chapter Ten
Two weeks later…
Time moved slowly for Annabelle as she continued with her life. She hadn’t heard a single word from Mason since he left, and with school starting in less than a month, she tried desperately to concentrate on what lay ahead of her. She was thankful for all the support she received from the town and Mason’s family, but part of her felt as if she didn’t deserve it. She was just the girlfriend, not his wife. Yet, every time she tried to say something, they would look at her with sympathy, and after the first week of those annoying looks, she gave up. It was better to accept what they wanted to give than to tell them it didn’t matter.
Mason’s family became regulars out at her place, but when they all converged at the same time, she felt as if she was suffocating. She needed her space, and after the second visit, she suggested they all get together out at Michael’s. Mason belonged to them really, not her. She was okay with that assumption, and as the weeks passed, she found herself in a groove that she strictly kept to, because just thinking of the alternative would crush her.
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