by Lacey Thorn
“That’s my cue, too,” Vic said as she rose to her feet. “I’ve got a wish list to prioritize.”
Reno glanced at Tah. “We’ll talk more later.”
“I don’t want to interrupt,” Diane said. “I can come back another time.”
Reno shook his head. “You came here before you went to the labs. That tells us how important you feel the need to talk to Tah is.” Reno’s gaze bore into hers, making her feel as if he were seeing deep inside and uncovering all her secrets. “I remember the day you arrived. The Professor had talked my ear off about your accomplishments, and I’ll admit, I’d been expecting someone far older. I watched you like a hawk, just waiting for you to make a mistake.”
“I’m sure I made plenty,” Diane said quietly, lowering her head to glance at her feet.
Reno reached out and tipped her chin up. “I have no idea if you did or not. All I saw was a woman dead set on saving my best friend. You didn’t shy away from anything. Every challenge thrown at you, you met head-on. I can’t imagine this place without you. I hope I never have to.” He leaned forward and kissed her softly on the forehead before turning and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him.
Her eyes grew a little damp as she fought to blink back tears. She’d spent a lot of time with Reno when she’d first arrived. One upon a time, she’d fancied herself falling for him. But that had never been a possibility. She’d understood that the day Zane had arrived, and she’d felt a zing straight to her core the first time she’d set eyes on him. Zane—the whole reason she was there now with a foolish plan.
“What can we do for you, Diane?” Tah asked, breaking into her thoughts.
She turned back to face him and Abby. He stood behind his mate, one hip resting on the back of the couch she sat on, a hand rubbing over her shoulder. They looked so good together, so perfect and right. Even now, Abby had the fingers of one hand threaded through Tah’s where it rested on her shoulder, while the other rubbed circles over her distended belly. They were the embodiment of how Diane pictured mates. Watching them, she knew they had what she wanted with Zane.
“I want to discuss Zane,” she said. She was really glad Abby was there. It would be easier to spit it all out with the other woman in the room. Despite Tah’s confidence in Diane, he still intimidated her at times.
Tah came to his feet immediately. “Have you found something? A way to treat the feral cat virus?”
She started to nod, then shook her head.
“Well, which is it? Yes or no?” Tah demanded with that growl of his.
Diane knew him well enough not to take it personally. He was worried, concerned and feeling powerless, something that frustrated him to the point he growled.
“I’d like to talk to you about the possibility of sending someone to find Zane.”
Tah shook his head. “You know we can’t. He’s feral, and from what Clara says, is probably no longer in control of his animal. Going after him could get one of us killed, or get him killed.”
“That might not be the case,” Diane murmured, beginning to feel all her doubts trying to creep back in and make her unsure of herself.
“The only one who would be safe is his mate.” Tah reiterated what they all had been assured of. “So unless you’ve discovered who she is, there’s not much we can do.”
Diane took a deep breath. Now was the time. All she had to do was open her mouth and give voice to what she was thinking. Three simple words. I’m his mate. But what if she wasn’t? What if it was all in her head? What if Zane was meant for someone else? And why did just the thought of another woman in his arms, kissing and loving him, make her heart ache?
“Oh my God!” Abby said, leaning forward. “You’re Zane’s mate.”
“What?” Tah asked, shaking his head. “No way. You’ve been here since he arrived and I’ve seen nothing to indicate that you’re mates.”
Tah’s words confirmed all the doubts she had herself. This time, though, there was a little voice in her head that offered a challenge.
“What if he was avoiding me to protect me?” Diane asked.
“Why? And from what? A life you’re already a part of?” Tah challenged, once again repeating her own doubts. How did he manage to do that?
“Give her a chance, Tah,” Abby admonished. “Why do you think he’d protect you by staying away? And how? Tah could barely keep his hands off me when his beast awoke.”
Tah was right back beside his mate, touching her other shoulder. The man still couldn’t keep his hands off Abby.
“Zane was brought into this world knowing who and what he is. I’ve witnessed a bit of the connection you form when you’re mated. Tah knowing when you were in danger,” she said to Abby. “Reno knowing when Amia was in my lab and upset about the tracker. And the way Clara and Logan stood for each other from the moment they first laid eyes on one another.”
“That’s just it,” Tah said softly, and she could tell he was trying not to hurt her feelings. “With mates, there’s no slow about it. Logan knew as soon as he saw Clara. And she did, too. There was no keeping them away from each other. Zane doesn’t even come to the house. Hell, he seems to avoid it unless absolutely necessary. He wouldn’t be able to do that if you were his mate.”
“Why not?” Diane asked. “If anyone has the control, it would be Zane.”
Tah shook his head. “I’m not buying it, Diane. I’m sorry.”
She sighed and turned away, not wanting to face them as she finally confessed her insecurities. “I was intimidated and a little afraid of him,” she whispered. She’d finally admitted it this morning and wondered if that was what he’d picked up on.
“Why?” Abby asked. “I understand that he’s a bit scary with his size and brawn. The man’s even bigger than Tah. But he wouldn’t hurt any of us. I know that.”
“I know that, too. I think it had more to do with the way he looked at me. His gaze made me feel devoured. I… Men don’t look at me like that. I didn’t know how to deal with it. So I avoided him.”
“And he avoided you,” Abby added.
“Which he wouldn’t have been able to do if you were his mate,” Tah countered. “No matter what vibe he was picking up from you.”
“Really?” Abby asked, turning to her mate. “I seem to recall you holding back until I said yes.”
Tah’s chest rumbled. “Held back but still couldn’t keep myself from touching you.”
“You were just learning though, just starting to integrate with your animal,” Diane said. “You wouldn’t have the same control.”
Tah glared at her then blew out a breath and began to nod in agreement. “True but look at Clara. She couldn’t stay away from Logan.”
“She was locked up as a prisoner with only Logan to see,” Diane said. “I don’t think their mating is a valid argument.”
Abby laughed. “She’s got you there.”
“So you think Zane would have picked up on your nerves and tried to stay away from you, the woman who is potentially his mate?” Tah questioned and the doubt was still thick in his voice.
“Orsai told me that a fully trained shifter is taught to protect those around him, especially a mate. When we were down in the lab and I was removing the tracker from Amia, you all burst in. Reno shifted into his tiger. You went to your lion. You put yourself between him and Abby.”
“I did, but I also challenged him to try and calm him down,” Tah stated.
“Reno was focused on one thing. Amia, his mate. Clara immediately went to Logan, stepping in front of him. Then he pushed her behind him. There were others in that room, but you all went to your mates.”
He nodded, but she could see he was thinking, remembering that time in the lab.
“And Zane stepped in front of you,” Abby said. “I remember him baring his teeth at Reno when his tiger looked at you. It was when I realized Zane was a shifter, as well.”
“Did anything change after that? Or did he still avoid you?” Tah asked, and Diane knew h
e still wasn’t buying that she could be Zane’s mate.
“The night Murphy and Zane brought Finn back,” Abby spoke up again. “While everyone raced out to see Finn, you went to Zane.”
Diane nodded. “I needed to make sure he was all right.”
“I was slower getting outside than everyone else,” Abby said, pointing to her belly. “I watched you go to him. I saw the look you two shared. And when I walked in with him, I noticed something. I don’t think I even realized what it was until just now.”
“What?” Diane asked.
“I think he was purring. Softly, very softly, but I heard it,” Abby said.
Abby’s words hardened Diane’s resolve. She was going after Zane.
“I want to go after him,” she said.
“No,” Tah answered immediately.
“Tah!” Abby admonished while Diane just blinked.
“Unless we know beyond a shadow of a doubt she’s his mate, we can’t risk it,” Tah told his mate.
“I think that’s my choice,” Diane argued and saw surprise register on Tah’s face. “I want to go after him.”
“Diane,” Tah said. “I can’t let you do that.”
“Then you’ll have to lock me up and keep me prisoner here,” Diane told him and realized she meant it. “But consider yourself warned, I’ll try every chance I get to leave.”
Tah looked shocked, then thoughtful. “You feel that strongly about it?”
“I feel that strongly about him,” Diane said. “I feel like I’m losing my mind with worry over him. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t work.”
“Sounds like a mate to me,” Abby spoke softly.
“Let’s discuss it more after the baby’s born,” Tah said.
“No,” Diane disagreed. “I need to leave now.”
“There’s no way you can leave when Abby is so close to giving birth. We need you here.”
Diane shook her head. “No, you don’t. No offense, Abby, but you have the Professor and Orsai both here for you.” She turned to Tah. “Zane has no one, and everyday we wait brings us closer to losing him for good. I may already be too late. Another seven to ten days and he’ll be gone for sure. Please. Please let me go to him.”
“Diane—” Tah began but Abby cut him off.
“Let her go,” Abby said. “She’s right. I’m in good hands here. Zane needs her, and we need both of them.”
“And how exactly is that going to work?” Tah asked. “How do you plan to find him?”
“Clara suggested it would take a shifter to find him,” Diane admitted.
“You talked to Clara about this?” Tah lifted an eyebrow at her in question.
“Yes, we talked about it. She’s the one that helped me to open my eyes and realize what I might be to Zane.”
“Might be.” Tah latched onto her uncertainty. “If you’re not, you could be walking into a death sentence and taking one of us with you.”
“There might be a way to avoid that,” the Professor spoke as he pushed the door wide and stepped in.
Diane wondered how long he’d been standing there, eavesdropping.
“I should have known you’d be involved in this,” Tah said with a weary sigh.
“Actually, Diane didn’t confide in me,” the Professor said, and Diane swore he appeared a little hurt by that. “I was coming up to discuss something else and caught the gist of what you were discussing. I wondered myself a time or two if Diane and Zane were mates. Orsai and I discussed it.”
“And?” Tah prompted.
“Orsai believes she is. He’s been waiting for Diane to realize it.”
“He spoke to me last night,” Diane admitted when the Professor glanced at her.
“How is it I keep missing this stuff?” Tah asked and Diane knew he was referring to not realizing what was happening between Logan and Clara at first, either.
“Because you’re focused on me,” Abby said, looking up at her mate.
“I’m always focused on you,” he said, leaning down and kissing her brow.
Diane watched and yearned. She wanted a taste of that type of love for herself, with Zane.
“I need to go after him,” she said again.
This time, Tah didn’t give an immediate no. “I’m not sure how to do that,” he said instead. “Anyone who goes with you will be putting themselves at risk, as well. And what if you’re all wrong? What if you aren’t his mate? He could kill you, Diane.”
“He won’t,” she said. Mate or not, there was something between them. She believed without question Zane wouldn’t hurt her.
“Maybe Zane wouldn’t,” Tah spoke as if reading her mind. “But Zane’s not in charge right now. You’ll be going to meet a full-grown panther. One that may or may not know you’re his mate.”
“He’ll know his mate no matter what form he’s in,” the Professor stated. “Orsai has assured me of this. She might be the only chance we have of getting Zane back.”
“Please, Tah,” Diane pleaded. “Let me at least try.”
“And who are you going to ask to go with you? Whose life are you willing to risk as well?” Tah demanded, making Diane blanch. She didn’t want to risk anyone.
“We think perhaps someone Zane’s panther wouldn’t find threatening would work best,” the Professor said.
Tah sighed. “And who do you have in mind then? Just spit it out, Professor. It’s obvious you and Orsai have this all planned out. I should just be grateful you included me before you sent Diane off on her own.”
The Professor glared. “I wouldn’t do that.”
Tah snorted.
“Maybe Clara could go with me,” Diane suggested.
Tah gave a loud laugh and shook his head. “Logan would kick all our asses for even thinking it. No way he’d go for her heading out with you to confront a panther with feral cat fever running through him.”
“Not Clara,” the Professor agreed. “But someone just as non-threatening to him.”
“By non-threatening do you mean female?” Abby asked.
“Yes,” the Professor said. “He would see a male as a potential challenge for his mate. It could set him off and turn into something we’re hoping to avoid. But if we send the right person. He’ll see her as a protector, not a threat.”
“She hasn’t come forward, yet,” Tah said, drawing Diane’s eyes to him.
Tah knew. The Professor had sworn Diane to silence when it came to the blood tests. She wasn’t to share anything with anyone other than the person whose blood she was running. All the shifters had come forward, except one.
There was a knock at the door. Tah inhaled and sighed, sending a glare toward the Professor.
“Come in,” he called.
The door slid open and Kenzie poked her head around. Her gaze clashed with the Professor’s and she stepped in, shutting the door behind her.
“I’ll go,” she said without preamble.
“You don’t have to do that,” Tah said softly.
Kenzie smiled shyly. “You’ve let me keep my secret long enough. It’s time I step forward.”
“Does anyone else know?” Abby asked.
“Holt knows. We’ve been friends for a long time. He’s made it his personal mission to watch over me. I’m pretty sure Murphy sensed it, though he never spoke of it. Zane, as well,” she added with a shrug. “He always had my back in the dessert. It’s only right I have his, now.”
For some reason, Diane got the impression there was more to Kenzie’s desire to help find Zane than what had happened in the dessert. There was something in the glance Kenzie shifted toward Diane when she mentioned Zane.
“He’s primal. He could hurt you. He could kill you,” Tah told Kenzie.
Kenzie shook her head. “No. Not Zane. Not me.”
Diane felt a surge of jealousy. Why was Kenzie so sure she was safe?
Everyone’s gazes turned to Diane.
“Sounds like a mate to me,” Abby offered with a huge grin.
Diane felt
her anger grow. Was Abby thinking Kenzie might be Zane’s mate? The thought sent a surge of anger through Diane.
“What?” she demanded when they all continued to stare at her.
Kenzie’s gaze was guarded. Abby was still smiling and Tah had his brow lifted in question. The Professor just nodded.
“You growled,” Abby finally explained.
“I didn’t mean it that way,” Kenzie said, glancing at Diane. “I just meant, Zane is like a big brother to me.”
Kenzie was tiny, the smallest among them at five feet two inches. She was definitely not one who would be seen as a threat. But Diane knew Kenzie was a Marine. She’d fought in the desert with Tah, Reno, Logan and the rest of them. She also knew the others respected Kenzie. So tiny or not, Diane felt as if she’d be safe with Kenzie.
“What do you say?” Diane asked, turning to Tah with a pleading gaze. “Will you let me go look for Zane? Will you let me try to save him?”
“Are you sure?” Tah asked one last time, and his gaze bounced between Diane and Kenzie.
Kenzie spoke first. “Zane would do the same for any one of us. I’ll take his mate to find him.”
“Diane?” Tah prompted.
“I believe I’m his mate,” she said, then shook her head. “I am his mate, and I need to go to him before I lose him for good.”
“I don’t like this,” Tah admitted. “It doesn’t feel right to send two of you out there alone. Not when we have no idea what you might find.”
“So we implement daily check-ins like you did when Reno left,” Diane said. “If anything happens, we’ll have a way of getting in touch with you immediately.”
Tah stood and stated at her for so long that Diane felt like squirming. She bit her bottom lip to keep from begging more. She didn’t want to defy Tah, but if it came down to it, she knew she would.
“How soon do you want to leave?” Tah finally asked.
Diane smiled and crossed to him, surprising them both when she hugged him tight. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
“I’m still not sure this is a good idea,” Tah countered. “I really hope you are his mate, and I hope you bring him back to us.”
“I am,” Diane said. “I will.”
“I can be ready to go as soon as you want me to,” Kenzie said.
