by Ginna Gray
"That's quite a family you've got," Trace said, laughing, when the door closed behind the two boisterous teenagers. "Is it like this around here all the time?"
"No, not always. Sometimes it's worse." Jane waved her hand toward the sofa. "Why don't we sit down and have a nice, relaxing drink before dinner. I don't know about the rest of you, but believe me, I need one."
Frank had no sooner handed out the drinks and taken a seat than Martha came bounding back down the stairs. "Hi, Katy. Sorry I couldn't stop earlier, but I'm going out with this fabulous new fella, and he gets absolutely furious if I keep him waiting." She quickly eyed Katy's rose silk dress and sighed expressively. "Gee, you look terrific."
"Thanks. You look pretty good yourself." Katy was relieved to see that the jeans and T-shirt had been exchanged for a bright yellow and green sundress with a matching jacket. The petite brown-haired girl was the image of her mother, all pixie charm and bouncing enthusiasm. On her, the brilliantly patterned dress looked perfect.
After introductions were made, Martha, with a directness that rivaled her mother's, studied Katy and Trace intently, her head cocked to one side. For a moment her eyes darted back and forth between them, then she shook her head, as though slightly dazzled by her discovery. "Boy, are you two ever going to make good-looking babies together," she stated with a bluntness that brought instant silence to the room.
Becoming suddenly aware of the four stunned faces staring at her, Martha swept them with a disgusted look. "Well, they will!" she insisted defensively. "It's all in the genes, you know. We learned that in Biology I, for heaven's sake!"
Before anyone could find his tongue, the doorbell rang. Martha let out a squeak and ran to answer it in a flurry of skirts and long, shining hair, her startling observation immediately dismissed from her mind. "That'll be Phillip. See you guys later."
There was a brief, taut silence after the door slammed, then three voices burst out laughing. Katy closed her eyes and turned beet-red.
Her flush deepened when Trace leaned close and whispered, "You see, darling. There's one more reason for us to marry."
"I'm sorry, Katy," Jane sputtered helplessly. "But you know how Martha is. She just says whatever comes into her head."
"Yes. Like someone else I could mention," Frank drawled pointedly.
"Well, subtlety never was my long suit. At least with us Cawley women you always know where we stand." Jane stood up and motioned for Katy to follow. "Come on. We'll give these two a chance to get acquainted while we finish dinner."
The meal went smoothly. Jane had prepared everything in advance so that it could be served with a minimum of fuss—a simple, well-planned menu of green salad, a dish of veal and rice, and broccoli in cheese sauce. For dessert there was a light chocolate-mint pie.
The table conversation was pleasant, sometimes bantering. Trace fit easily into the relaxed atmosphere of the Cawley home, joking and laughing with her friends as though he had known them for years. By the time they retired to the living room for after-dinner coffee, even Katy had relaxed somewhat.
"Tell me, Trace. When is the wedding?" Jane asked interestedly, as she handed him his cup.
The unexpected question brought Katy's head up, and she found that Trace was studying her thoughtfully. She looked away quickly and took a sip of coffee to cover her nervousness. She hadn't yet adjusted to being engaged. The thought of actually fixing a date paralyzed her with fear.
"We haven't discussed it, but I'm hoping it will be next month," Trace said quietly, his intent gaze fixed on Katy's downbent head.
The long curtain of black hair swung outward in a rippling arc when Katy's head snapped around. "Next month! But that's too soon!" The china cup clattered against its saucer, and Katy bent over to place it on the coffee table. Clasping her hands together tightly to stop their trembling, she turned to Trace with wide, troubled eyes. "We can't get married that quickly, Trace. I—I"—her mind groped for an excuse, any excuse to delay—"Th-there's so much to do before a wedding. I can't possibly be ready in time."
Smiling, Trace ran a finger lightly over the curve of her cheek. "All right, darling. Six weeks. But not one day longer. In three weeks we'll have an engagement party, and three weeks after that we'll be married."
"An engagement party!" All thought of the wedding vanished with the introduction of this new threat. "Oh, do we have to? I don't know the first thing about giving a party like that. And . . . and I don't know any of your friends or relatives. I'd make a hopeless mess of the whole thing."
"Don't worry about it, sweetheart. Saundra can handle the party, That's the one thing she's good at," he said with a caustic bite. "Just give her a list of the people you want to invite, and I'll see that she takes care of the rest."
"Speaking of Saundra," Jane drawled in an elaborately casual tone. "How did she take the news of your engagement?"
Mild surprise flickered over Trace's rugged features. "Actually I don't suppose she's heard about it. She went to Dallas to visit friends while I was gone, and she hasn't returned yet."
Probably because, like herself, she hadn't expected him back this soon, Katy thought in a sudden burst of angry cynicism. The mention of Saundra deepened her growing sense of dread. Like a fool, she hadn't given the woman a thought, but there wasn't a doubt in her mind that Saundra would be livid when she heard the news. Suddenly Katy's stomach muscles tightened into a hard knot. She didn't think she could deal with Saundra's vicious anger on top of everything else.
"Will Saundra continue to live at Green Meadows after you and Katy are married?"
"Jane! That's none of your business," Frank ground out warningly. "You have no right to ask questions like that."
Jane tossed her head defiantly and shot her husband a quelling look. "I know that. But Katy has a right to know. After all, it affects her future. But knowing her as well as I do, I'm fairly sure she would never ask. So I'm doing it for her."
"Nevertheless, you shouldn't . . ."
"That's all right, Frank. I don't mind answering Jane's question." Trace looked at her and shrugged, his features screwed up in a rather self-conscious grimace. "Actually, I've never given the matter a thought. Saundra has lived at the farm for so long that it just never occurred to me to ask her to leave. But I wouldn't worry about it too much. She'd always enjoyed being mistress of Green Meadows. Once Katy and I are married and she has to relinquish that position, I doubt she'll stick around very long."
Katy was appalled. Weren't things bad enough without this additional complication? She had no desire to be pitted against Saundra in an open confrontation. Did he really expect her just to walk in and wrest control of the household from that spiteful, vicious woman? Or perhaps he didn't. Perhaps this was all lip service. Her eyes narrowed in sudden suspicion as she studied him through the veil of her lashes. Maybe he didn't believe she could win in a battle of wills with his stepmother. Maybe he didn't want her to win. She couldn't believe he was unaware of Saundra's interest in him. He might not want to marry his father's widow, but he certainly didn't seem averse to having her around.
The progression of her thoughts made Katy's stomach churn, but she was powerless to stop it. That could explain why he was so unconcerned about the physical side of their marriage. No doubt, Saundra would be quite happy to satisfy his male appetites. It was even possible that she was already sharing his bed, if rumor were to be believed.
The rest of the evening passed in a blur. Lost in her own thoughts, Katy sat back and let the conversation flow around her. She was puzzled by the violent emotions that tore at her. Even if her suspicions were correct, why should she care? She didn't love or want Trace. She should feel relieved that he might turn to another woman for physical satisfaction. Shouldn't she?
During the ride home she remained quiet, trying to come to grips with the confused jumble of emotions that plagued her. She had the strangest sensation of being swept along on a tide of events over which she had little or no control. It was very disturbing.
It was only when Trace brought the car to a halt in the drive beside her home that Katy's mind came back to the present. When he switched off the engine and turned to face her, the sudden quiet seemed oppressive and threatening, and she blurted out the first thing that came into her head.
"I'm sorry if Jane's questions embarrassed you."
"I wasn't embarrassed," he said with gentle amusement. "They're very nice people, and they care for you very much. I'm glad of that." His voice deepened to a husky caress. "I want only your happiness, Katy. I happen to love you very much."
She turned to look at him then, her blue eyes wide and searching, probing his face intently. "Do you. Trace?"she asked doubtfully. "Do you really?"
He seemed surprised by her skepticism. His brows rose sharply, and he looked back at her in blank astonishment. "Do you doubt it?"
"Oh, I don't doubt that you think you love me." She shrugged one shoulder. "But I can't help but wonder if you're not just reaching out for a fantasy."
Instead of becoming angry, as she had half expected, Trace merely looked at her broodingly for a moment, then smiled. "You're a very perceptive lady," he said softly. "I'm only human, Katy. I have all the same weaknesses and needs as other mortals. I won't try to deny that you epitomize all that I've ever longed for. Not only are you beautiful, and the most exquisitely feminine woman I've ever known, but you've also had the advantage of a loving upbringing by parents who were totally committed to one another and to you. That makes you all the more special, Katy. I want what only you can give me. I need it." His voice hardened to a soft violence that made her skin prickle. "I'm going to have it."
His words did not erase her doubts, but deepened them. Katy stared at him apprehensively. Her fear was reflected in her eyes, and seeing it, Trace frowned.
He paused, as though considering his next words carefully, then asked, "Have you ever wondered just exactly what love is, Katy? Have you ever tried to define it, to put it into words?"
She shook her head mutely, staring at him with wary-eyes.
"I've always thought love was finding that one someone who could fill a need in you that no one else could." His mouth curved in a self derisive grimace. "Everyone has those needs, those desperate longings, that incomplete feeling. When you find that one person it's like finding your other half, and she fills the emptiness, completes you like the missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle. To me, that's love."
He framed her face between his hands and looked into her eyes, his gaze probing the very depths of her being. "And believe me, Katy, my very soul cries out for you. You're what has been missing from my life, all my life, and I need you very much." The deep, dark velvet voice stroked over her, soothing and caressing, wrapping her in its warmth. "But love isn't altogether selfish. It also means caring more for the happiness and well-being of the loved one than you care for your own. And that's how I feel about you, sweetheart. I could never be happy unless you were."
Katy stared at him, her throat tight with emotion. She felt helplessly drawn by the desperate yearning in his voice, the deep need, the exquisite tenderness. In that moment she knew she was totally, irrevocably committed to this man. Katy knew with a deep certainty that she felt something for him, and that she needed him just as surely as he needed her. She didn't want it. She wasn't ready for it. But it was there all the same. It was that irresistible, magnetic pull she had feared from the beginning. She also knew that if she entered into a marriage with Trace, no matter how platonic, she could never endure the kind of sordid arrangement she had envisioned earlier.
Watching the play of emotions cross her expressive face, Trace smiled gently. He bent and brushed a feathery kiss over her lips. It was possessive and loving, and heart-stoppingly tender. Light as it was, Katy felt it ail the way to her toes.
When he raised his head his eyes caressed her face in a way that made her bones melt. "I love you, Katy," he whispered. "Don't ever doubt it."
Chapter 7
"If you don't hold still, Dad, I'll never get this thing tied," Katy admonished, while her father shifted restlessly from one foot to the other. She thought he looked very handsome and distinguished in his formal evening attire, with his shock of white hair neatly brushed and his deeply tanned skin glowing against the crisp white shirt. But Tom was obviously uncomfortable.
"Humph! I still don't see why I have to get rigged up in this monkey suit," he grumbled, his face like a thunder cloud.
"You have to wear it because this is a formal engagement party. And you may as well get used to wearing it because in the future you'll probably be attending quite a few affairs like this."
Tom's scowl deepened. "The devil you say! I'll be doing no such thing!" he denied vehemently.
"Oh, yes, you will." Katy's voice was calm and placid, as though she were soothing a fractious child. She straightened the loops on the black bow tie and patted it into place, then looked up at her father and smiled. "You were the one who was so anxious for me to marry Trace. Didn't you realize that as his father-in-law you will be expected to attend any social functions we may have in the future?" Eyes twinkling, she reached up and patted his cheek. "Anyway, I know you'll want to come, if for no other reason than to give me moral support—which I shall probably need in large quantity."
Tom's expression altered quickly, concern darkening the gray eyes that searched her face. His hands came up to grasp her shoulders as his brows drew together in an anxious frown. "Katy darlin', you're not marrying Trace for my sake, are you? Because if that's all it is, I won't have it. You're not a sacrificial lamb, my girl. You're my daughter and I want your happiness above all things. I won't deny that I think this marriage is the best thing that could happen to you. But if it isn't going to make you happy, I'll admit to being an interfering old fool and go see Trace right now and call the whole thing off."
The smile faded from Katy's face and her eyes grew distant as she chewed worriedly on her bottom lip. It was a temptation. Her father could go to him and put a stop to the arrangement immediately. Then she could return to the safe, calm life she had led before his return. Couldn't she?
But even as she asked herself the question Katy knew deep down inside that it simply wasn't that easy. She was bound to Trace now in some strange, indefinable way that had nothing to do with concern for her father or even a longing for security. Her mind shied away from examining her feelings too closely, but she knew that her future lay with Trace. It was as though on that day at the graveside, almost two months ago, when she had looked up and met his eyes, the thread of her life had become inextricably woven with his.
"Answer me, Katy. Why did you agree to this marriage?"
Her father's concerned voice brought her out of her
thoughts. She shook her head and gave him a wan smile. "I—I honestly don't know. At first I told myself I was doing it for you, so that your future would be secure, and because it would make you happy. But now, I'm not sure. I'm just . . . not sure."
Tom lifted one hand and cupped her cheek. A gentle smile replaced the tense anxiety in his face. "Don't worry about it, darlin'. Just follow your instincts. You won't go wrong."
He kissed her on the forehead, then turned her around and gave her a little push. "Now then, go get your things, girl, and let's be going. Trace wanted us there half an hour ago. He's going to think you got cold feet at the last minute."
In her room Katy deliberately took her time, unnecessarily recombing her hair and checking her appearance for perhaps the tenth time. She had no intention of arriving at the big house any earlier than she absolutely had to. The less she had to endure of Saundra's company the better.
The woman was impossible! On the surface, at least in front of Trace, she had been the soul of politeness and congeniality, seeming to accept the engagement with good grace, if not enthusiasm. But whenever Trace was not around Saundra's tongue dripped pure poison. She needled Katy constantly with malicious little remarks about her lack of sophistication and her modest family backg
round, hinting that she was only kidding herself if she actually believed the marriage would take place. Saundra seemed confident that Trace would call the whole thing off before the wedding day arrived. Since that was only three weeks away, it seemed unlikely, but still, the malicious little innuendos were getting under Katy's skin.
Katy had not mentioned the matter to Trace. She had wanted to, several times, but whenever she worked up the courage to discuss the situation she was suddenly besieged with tormenting doubts and questions. What if they really were having an affair, as Saundra had implied on several occasions? What if he had no intention of cutting his stepmother out of his life after they were married? As far as she knew, during the three weeks since they had become engaged, he had done nothing toward persuading Saundra to move out of the house. And the woman certainly acted as though she were a permanent fixture.
It was a situation that could not be allowed to continue. Sometime between now and the wedding Katy knew she was going to have to talk to Trace and settle the matter, once and for all. She could not . . . she would not share either a husband or a house with Saundra Barnett!
When they pulled up in front of the big house Trace was waiting for them, nervously pacing the front veranda like a caged lion. Before Katy could locate the handle and open the door, he was beside the truck.
"What took you so long, darling?" he asked anxiously, as he helped her out. "I was beginning to get concerned."
Katy opened her mouth to answer but the words stuck in her throat when she saw the uncertainty in Trace's eyes. He looked terribly worried. Frightened almost. For the first time she realized that he was very vulnerable where she was concerned, and the knowledge made her heart contract with a strangely pleasurable pain. Did he really love her? Until now she hadn't put much stock in his avowal, but his attitude seemed to confirm it. It was a heady thought, and for a moment she could only stare at him, her pulse throbbing wildly in her throat.
