“I’m ugly and dorky and, if you really want to know the truth, nobody likes me.”
“Wow.”
She fell back against the chair. “See, Ma Ray. I knew you wouldn’t understand.”
“Baby, I understand. Somehow, as beautiful and as smart and as talented as you are, you’ve decided you’re not pretty enough or cool enough.”
Crystal laughed. “Cool, Ma Ray? Cool? Who says cool much these days?”
“Oh. Now you’re making fun of your old grandma.” Ma Ray pretended to pout.
“No. But of course you think I’m pretty and cool and—”
“Smart. I think you’re a very smart young lady.”
“Ma Ray, I’m not smart. I struggle in school. I’m not like Sahara. Sahara is beautiful and she’s smart. She really doesn’t have to study to get good grades the way I have to. And she makes friends so easily. The only reason that people even act like they like me is because I’m her sister.”
“Oh, Crystal, that’s not true. Do you have any idea how much you have going on for you?”
“Ma Ray, of course you’re going to say that. You’re my grandmother. Sure you think I’m great. You’re supposed to encourage me. That’s a grandmother’s job. That’s what grandmothers do.” Crystal began to wipe her eyes.
Ma Ray stood up and opened her arms. “Come here.”
“Ma Ray, I don’t want to be treated like I’m some kind of a baby.”
“Come here,” Ma Ray said again, smiling.
Crystal stood and fell into her arms. “Ma Ray, why can’t I be popular? Why can’t I be like other people?”
“Because, baby girl, God made you a designer’s original. He made you unique. You weren’t created to be a copy of anyone else. You’re special. God created you special because you’re valuable to Him. We all are.”
Crystal pressed in even closer to Ma Ray. “I’m sorry, Ma Ray. I’m sorry I’ve been giving Mama such a hard time. But Mama doesn’t care about me.”
Ma Ray pushed Crystal away from her so she could look her in her eyes. “Yes, she does.”
“She cares, but not really. My mother doesn’t see me. She’s too busy fixing whatever Sahara might be dealing with at the time or doing things for Nia or Kyle. And good old Edmond always takes his children’s sides about everything. It doesn’t matter what’s going on, he automatically assumes either me or Sahara was the one who did something wrong to them. I’m just tired of being caught in the middle.”
Ma Ray pulled her in closer again. “So, you act out.”
“I’m not trying to act out. I’m just tired of being the good girl. When you’re the good one, for some reason, you become virtually invisible.”
Ma Ray began to squeeze her. “Why … you don’t feel invisible.” She pulled back slightly and grinned. “And you don’t look invisible, at least not to me.”
“That’s because you have a way of making us feel like we exist.”
Ma Ray sat back down, pulling Crystal down with her. “You’re being a little hard on your mother, don’t you think?”
“No, I’m just telling you what I feel.”
There was a knock on the front screen door. Ma Ray looked toward the front room. “Wonder who that could be?”
Crystal turned toward the front as well. “You want me to get it for you?”
“No. No. I’ll do it.” Ma Ray stood back up. She hobbled a little when she first starting walking. Her right knee was beginning to bother her again. She made her way to the front door and immediately began to grin.
“Hey, Ma,” the six-foot-seven gentleman said as he peeped through the screen.
“Beau!” Ma Ray said. “What a nice surprise! I didn’t know you were coming this way.” She quickly unlocked, then opened the screen door. He grabbed her up after he stepped inside, her feet dangling off the floor as he hugged her. “Boy, put me down,” she said after he dangled her for about a minute. “You always do that. I’ve told you about grabbing me up like that.”
“Oh, Ma, you know you like it.” He eased her down until her feet rested flatly on the floor.
“Yeah, well.” She smiled. “Come on in, come on in.”
“My goodness, Ma, it’s hot in here,” Boaz said. “Why don’t you turn on the air conditioner?”
“Oh, I will. You sound just like Sahara. All y’all care about is that fake air. Personally, I like God’s natural breeze. And I try to put off closing off the place for as long as I can.”
“Well, I’ve told you: God gave man the knowledge to come up with air conditioners. So that tells me that He desires for us to be comfortable.”
“I’m comfortable. You city folks are the ones acting like you’re going to die from the summer heat. That’s why I keep telling folks they’d better be sure they’re saved. Because this is nothing compared to Hell. Last I heard, there are no air conditioners, fans, or even access to cold water down there. And we all know that Hell is a real place. I don’t care what some folks want to try and say. Just like Heaven is a real place, so is Hell.”
“Yeah, well, Ma, there’s no reason for you to practice being hot when you don’t need to, since we all know that you’re going to Heaven when you leave this place.”
“That’s where I’m aiming. When I move from this old building, by the way that has started to lean and slant more and more here lately, I want to make my home in Heaven.” Ma Ray led Boaz to the kitchen.
Crystal turned around. “Hey, Uncle Boaz.” She had both hands submerged in the sink of water. She looked like she was playing with the shelled purple hull peas instead of washing them. “Look at you—all g’d up.”
“Hi there, Crissy,” Boaz said. “G’d up?”
“Yeah, g’d up. You know, it means you look good in your threads. And I’ve told you that I don’t go by Crissy anymore. It’s Crystal.”
“Oh, you mean the way I keep telling people I don’t go by Boaz, but for some reason they still insist upon calling me that?”
“Uncle Beau, you know you’ll always be Uncle Boaz to me. Old habits are hard to break.”
Boaz walked over to her and gave her a big hug. “Are you helping Ma?”
“Yeah,” Crystal said. “Look at all these peas.” She picked up both hands filled with peas. “And we have another pan to wash over there.” She pointed her head toward the peas still in the large pan.
“I remember these days,” Boaz said. “Ma would get us to help her shell peas. I even remember when we tried our hands at farming for those few years. We had to reap our fruits and vegetables ourselves. That was backbreaking hard work. That’s how I ended up meeting your aunt Ruth. She was out in our field ‘gleaning,’ as my father called it.”
“Gleaning?” Crystal asked as she dried her hands.
“Yeah,” Boaz said. “That’s when people come behind you after you’ve picked what you’re planning on getting. They get to reap whatever you leave behind. That was Daddy’s way of giving to those who were struggling or in need. Just needing a little hand up, not so much, just a handout. I was in charge of things this particular day. I saw this beautiful young woman out there trying to see what she could find. She didn’t realize it at the time, but I told one of our workers to tell her to come back the next day. And on the next day, I instructed the workers to purposely leave handfuls of things for her to have.”
“Oh, you must have really liked Aunt Ruth from jump street,” Crystal said.
“Yeah. And my love has only multiplied each and every year since that time.”
Crystal sat down in the chair at the kitchen table. “I wish someone felt that way about me. Maybe someday, but I really doubt it. Things have changed a lot since you came along. Guys are mostly jerks now.”
“Not so,” Ma Ray said. “Many may not know how to act or treat a real lady these days. But that’s why a real lady must teach him how she will be treated.”
“So, where’s Sahara?” Boaz glanced around as though he was looking for her.
“In her room. Proba
bly asleep,” Crystal said. “She kind of had a long night. Then Ma Ray got us up early for breakfast. Then she made us shell peas.”
“Oh. What happened last night?” Boaz said.
“Nothing that concerns you,” Ma Ray said quickly to Boaz and before Crystal could say anything more. “Crystal, if you like, you can go do something you want to do. You’ve been a great help to me today. I’ll finish up down here.”
Crystal smiled as she got up to leave. “Thanks.”
After she was gone, Boaz cleared his throat. “So, are you planning on telling me what happened that caused Sahara to have a long night?”
“No.”
“Ma—”
“I have fresh peaches in the back room. You know how you love peaches.”
“There you go again. Why do you always do that?”
“Do what?”
“Try to change the subject when you don’t want to talk about something?”
She smiled. “Boaz,” she said, purposely calling him that, “now when have I ever had to answer to you about anything I do?”
“Ma, I talked with Lenora this morning.”
“I know you called. I was on the phone with her when you beeped in. Want something to drink? I have fresh lemonade in the refrigerator. Just the way you like it.”
“Why do you do this?” Boaz said.
Ma Ray began to fan herself with her hand. “You know, it is a bit heated in here. Maybe I will turn on the air conditioner. Help me close all the doors and windows down here, will you?” She closed the door and windows in the kitchen before walking out of the kitchen to the hall where the thermostat was located. She called Crystal and told her to close all of the windows up-stairs. Boaz closed off the windows and doors in the front of the house. The house began to cool off rather quickly.
“Want to go outside on the porch?” Ma Ray said to Boaz after they finished.
“Sure,” Boaz said. “We cool the house down, and then go outside in the heat. Makes perfect sense to me. I’ll get the pitcher of lemonade, glasses, and lots of ice.”
Ma Ray knew this was going to be one of those serious conversations. She could tell whenever Boaz was in that “place” where she wouldn’t be able to avoid it or somehow conveniently be able to change the subject.
Chapter 9
And the woman took the two men, and hid them, and said thus, There came men unto me, but I wist not whence they were.
—Joshua 2:4
“Sahara, you woke?” Crystal said in a whisper with the door cracked open.
Sahara’s first instinct was to pretend she was asleep. But she knew Crystal didn’t care if she was or not. “I’m awake,” Sahara said.
Crystal opened the door wider and walked in. “Are you okay?”
Sahara sat up completely. “Looks like Ma Ray finally decided to turn on the air. I thought I was going to die from all of this heat.”
“Yeah, that’s what I was coming to do. Make sure your window was closed. You know how Ma Ray feels when she does turn on the air.”
Sahara laughed a little. “Yeah, I know. She fusses about cooling off the outside.” Sahara sat up straighter. “So what made her decide to turn on the air?”
“Uncle Boaz is here.”
“He is?”
“Yep. He looks good, too. Has on this G-macking outfit. You know how he always dresses up. Well, even when he dresses casual, he’s dressed to the nines.”
“I suppose you can do that kind of stuff when you’re rolling in dough,” Sahara said.
“You sound just like Mama now.”
“Maybe Mama’s right about them. Sometimes they do act like they’re better than everybody else. It’s always ‘We this. We that.’ ‘Freda this’ and ‘Owen that.’ I get so sick of hearing about all of them and how great and wonderful they all are.”
Crystal sat on the bed, her foot underneath her leg. “Better watch it. Your PHD is showing.”
“Crystal, don’t be funny. I’m not in the mood. And I don’t have a Playa Hata Degree. I just want to get out of this place. It’s so boring here!”
“Ma Ray said we could borrow her car if we want to go to a movie or something. We could go to Walmart.”
“Oh, joy! We can drive Ma Ray’s car to the movies. That car is so old, I’m afraid to drive it anywhere. We could get out and push it and I believe it would go faster than when we’re riding inside of it.”
Crystal started laughing. “You wrong for that. You need to leave Ma Ray’s deuce and a quarter alone,” she said, referring to the dark blue Electra 225.
Sahara laughed, too. “I don’t even think they make that car brand anymore.”
“Well, you know she’s not going to let you drive her Cadillac.”
“Of course not. That’s the newer car, and she has to wait until it’s old to really decide to drive it. I don’t understand people. Then they have the nerve to act like teenagers are the ones with the problems. They buy stuff and don’t want people to touch it until it becomes really old. Like it’s supposed to last forever or something.”
“At least Ma Ray doesn’t keep plastic on her furniture,” Crystal said. “And to be fair, Ma Ray is not like most people. She doesn’t care about people using her stuff.”
“Yeah, right,” Sahara said. “It’s just the deuce needs to get its workout so it will keep running. It’s such a huge car, though. Can you imagine how much gas that thing uses up? I think we should report Ma Ray to the environmental protectionist or something.”
“So, do you want to talk about last night?”
“Not really.” Sahara stood up and walked over to the vanity. She picked up a pair of earrings and put them on.
“Ma Ray could have killed somebody.”
“Yeah, well, how was I to know she was going to do something like that? It’s this stupid area and these stupid cell phones. When B-Man got here, his phone wouldn’t pick up a signal. So what does he decide to do? Break in. Which probably wouldn’t have been a problem if Ma Ray had been in her own room asleep the way old people should.”
Crystal stood up and walked over to Sahara. “I don’t think you should do that.”
“Do what?”
“Talk about Ma Ray like that. She really does love us. She would do anything for us. You know Edmond was trying to get Mama to send us away to some boot camp for out-of-control teenagers. Ma Ray actually did us a favor by stepping in like this.”
Sahara went and gingerly sat back down on the bed. “So, you’re trying to blame me for all of this?”
“No, it’s not just you. I’ve been doing my share as well,” Crystal said. “But Ma Ray and I were talking a little while ago, and I think she really does understand.”
“How many times do I have to tell you that adults don’t understand? They say they do, but things aren’t anything like it was when they were growing up. Ma Ray didn’t even have television when she was young. She’s been in church probably all of her life. She was married to a cop who later became a preacher. They had a farm where they grew stuff. Uncle Boaz took it over, then sold that land for a nice price. Then there’s Mama…. You know what? I don’t even want to talk about Mama.”
“Hey, don’t stop. Ma Ray says it’s good to get things out of you,” Crystal said.
“Mama is so busy trying to find the right everything. She wants us to believe she and Edmond are doing fine, but they’re not. They fight about everything. And I’ll bet you money that Edmond has another woman on the side. And that stupid church we go to, I’m sick of all those phony people. Everybody trying to act like they have it together when they’re just as messed up, if not more so, than the world they claim to be separated from. The preacher’s wife is the one running the church while the preacher is sitting back just letting her. All you hear from him is an appeal for money. And there’s Mama trying her best to keep up with everything they’re saying you have to do in order to prove to God that you love Him.” Sahara sat against the headboard. “I’ll tell you: I can’t wait until I’m
grown. I’m never stepping foot in another church as long as I live. I promise you that!”
Crystal came and sat beside Sahara. “That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think? I mean, there are lots of churches to choose from. If you go to one you don’t like, you keep trying until you find one.”
“What’s the point? How many churches have we been a member of already?” Sahara asked. “Huh?”
“That’s because every time we get deeply involved, Mama finds out stuff she didn’t know they believed in the beginning. Then folks start messing with her, and she becomes so miserable she has to go somewhere else. Honestly, I like church. And I’m looking forward to going to this youth conference with Aaron and Andre.”
Sahara started smiling. “Oh, you just like Aaron.”
Crystal blushed a bit. “Well, he seems to be a nice guy. Both of them seem nice.”
“Oh, yeah. Cletus One and Cletus Two. Wonder Twin powers.” Sahara laughed.
Crystal didn’t laugh. “Stop calling them Cletus. They’re neither tacky nor country backward. I think they’re both peng.”
“You think they’re both peng? You do know what peng is, right?”
“Yes,” Crystal said with a big smile. “They are attractive, physically fit, and really quite sexy.”
“See, that’s a problem right there,” Sahara said. “I think you need to pump your brakes. You shouldn’t be thinking sex or sexy at all. The reason we’re here right now is because our mother thinks we’re sex crazed and out of control. Oh, and she thinks I’m a bad influence on you.”
“Don’t you think Andre is hot? I think Aaron is hot. They’re identical twins.”
Ray of Hope Page 5
