Tenacious Love (Banished Saga, Book Four): Banished Saga, Book Four

by Ramona Flightner

  “Ro!” Zee hissed as her eyes flared. She rose and flipped the lock on the glass-paneled door. She settled on a mint-green-cushioned wicker chair, tucking one foot underneath her. At her friends’ expectant gazes, she flung herself backward with a sigh of exasperation.

  “If a Hubbard were to show you interest, that would be quite a coup,” Parthena said, shaking her head no as Rowena held up the plate of burnt cookies and scones.

  “He said he wants a friendship with me. Wanted to get to know me better.”

  “A Hubbard would never approve of your beliefs,” Rowena said, taking a sip of tea to wash down the dry scone.

  Zylphia flushed. “I had visited my cousin Florence recently, and we discussed my lack of success in encouraging those I’d met at the balls and in society to join the cause. Florence suggested that I temper my arguments and become friends with people first before persuading them to my way of thinking.”

  “Does this mean he believes you are no longer a suffragist?” Parthena asked with wide eyes.

  “No, but I fear the impression I gave was that my beliefs weren’t as strong as I had portrayed them to be. He said he wanted me to help him learn about a new way of envisioning the world,” Zylphia said as she curled into a more comfortable position on her chair.

  “A new way of envisioning …” Rowena sputtered. “Please tell me that you set him straight that the only vision he needs is one where his wife has as much to say as he does.”

  “I didn’t,” Zylphia whispered. “He seemed to like me better. And he kissed me.”

  Rowena shared a quick glance with Parthena. “And?”

  At Zylphia’s prolonged silence, Rowena said, “What’s bothering you, Zee?”

  “He acted as though he had every right to drag me to another room. Grab me and kiss me.”

  “Did you not enjoy it?” Parthena asked.

  “It … he kisses fine, but I wanted some thought, some consideration for me.” She closed her eyes as she envisioned the scene in the cold conservatory. She flushed as she recalled her embrace with Owen. “I enjoyed his kiss. And he didn’t hold me against my will. But there was no tenderness, nothing that made me feel like I was special to him.”

  “If he shows you such little consideration now, it will only become worse if you encourage him.” Rowena reached over and stroked a hand down Zylphia’s arm.

  “I know. It’s as though he believes I’m a weak-willed woman because I’m no longer fervently espousing my beliefs. As though I could easily be manipulated.” Zylphia shuddered. “I think he wasn’t entirely certain of my change of heart because he spoke of his awareness that the world constantly transforms itself and that he too could change.”

  “Thus, making it seem as though he’s interested in change for himself, when he truly wants you to change. As he hopes you have already.” Rowena tapped the saucer with such force that Zylphia glanced at the china to see if it were chipped.

  “For you to give up your beliefs,” Parthena said with a near growl.

  “The entire time that I didn’t say what I truly believed, I felt sick to my stomach.” Zylphia looked at her friends mournfully. “I felt like I’d betrayed myself.”

  Both Rowena and Parthena reached out to Zylphia. “You didn’t permanently betray yourself,” Rowena said with a glower. “You followed your cousin’s erroneous advice. Now you know that’s not the correct action.”

  “It made me feel ill, but, in a way, it worked. He’d never said more than a few sentences to me before tonight. He’d never danced with me again since Newport.” Zylphia held a hand to her head. “I’m so confused.”

  “Do you want to proceed through life feeling a fraud? Living a lie to the point you forget what you truly believe?” Parthena asked.

  “Of course not,” Zylphia sputtered.

  Rowena asked, “What I want to know is why are you confused? It seems like you know exactly what you should do in the future.”

  Zylphia blushed. After exhaling a deep breath, she raised her eyes to meet her friends’ curious gazes. “I liked the attention. I enjoyed no longer being the woman scorned, exiled to the side of the dance floor, instead someone worthy of notice.”

  Parthena frowned. “Well, you now know the cost of such attention.”

  Zylphia nodded.

  “Did you agree to see him again?” Rowena asked.

  “I was flustered after I left him in the conservatory. When we were leaving, he spoke with my mother as we collected our wraps. We’re to go to the New Year’s Ball in a few weeks at your house,” Zylphia said with a nod to Parthena.

  “Ugh, that infernal ball. It’s all my mother will talk about. She’s already concocting some necessity for me to dance with that horrid Mr. Wheeler.” Parthena shuddered at the thought.

  “It should be entertaining to watch,” Zylphia said, hiding a giggle.

  “I hope your Mr. Goff doesn’t attend. He’s such a boor.” Rowena settled into her chair, the burnt cookies and scones abandoned while she held her teacup.

  “There is much you don’t understand about him,” Zylphia said.

  “So you say, but we never see it. Whenever he’s out, he’s as a petulant child. Grumpy and incommunicative.” Parthena gave Zylphia a sly smile. “Unless he’s with you.”

  “Stop it. He’s just a friend.” She sobered. “That’s all he can be.”

  Rowena watched her intently. “Why? Did something happen between the two of you that you didn’t share with us?”

  “You know I have no desire to marry.” She absently traced a piece of wicker with her finger.

  “What would that have to do with the reclusive Theodore Goff?” Parthena asked. “I can’t imagine anyone wanting to marry him.” She gave a theatrical shudder, provoking a snicker from Rowena.

  “Stop speaking so poorly of him,” Zylphia snapped. “He’s a brilliant scientist, and I …”

  “Oh my,” Rowena murmured. “You’re interested in Teddy?” She gaped at Zylphia. “Socially awkward, hides in his lab, reclusive Teddy?”

  “I don’t know! One moment all I can think about is the movement and how I’ll help garner the vote for women. The next, all I can think about is my time with Teddy.” She massaged her temples as she leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. “If I thought I knew one thing, it was that I had no interest in marriage and a family of my own until women earned the right to vote. Until I earned the right to my own voice.”

  “You’ve always had the right to your own voice, Zee. And of your opinion,” Parthena said.

  “Not by the law. The minute I marry, I hate the fact that I become nothing more than an extension of my husband. I want to count too.” Zylphia sighed. “I never expected entering society would prove to be so confusing.”

  Parthena and Rowena laughed. “You forget that you come from a very wealthy family. Of course you’d be of some interest to the men.” Parthena tapped her fingers on her chair’s arm as though she were playing a piano. “What you can’t forget is that Owen Hubbard knows you are wealthy and will most likely want that wealth for himself.”

  Zylphia sighed. “I wonder if any of these men would still want me if they realized I come with no dowry?”

  Parthena choked on the bite of cookie she had finally chosen as Rowena nearly dropped her cup and saucer before recovering and setting it on a nearby glass-topped table. “What?”

  “I thought you both had stated that having dowries was antiquated and offensive,” Zylphia said with a sparkle in her deep blue eyes. At their persistent silence, she laughed. “I have no dowry. When I marry, I go with nothing. That’s what my father has told me.”

  “He must be joking,” Parthena said.

  “Why? He believes it is the only way to ensure that a man wants me and not my father’s influence or his money.”

  Rowena sat back in her chair, a dazed expression on her face. “It’s a wicked thing to do. Dangle you in front of society, with the expectation of wealth should one of them marry you, and then not offe
r anything.” She shook her head.

  “Some will say your father is ashamed of you and, thus, refuses to dower you,” Parthena said.

  “Those who know him will know that’s complete nonsense.”

  “Careful not to tell anyone else this, Zee. You know how cruel people can be,” Rowena said as Parthena nodded her agreement.

  “I won’t. Besides, I know if I should ever marry, my father will be extraordinarily generous. He simply doesn’t want the promise of wealth to be the sole reason a man would wish to align himself with me.”

  Rowena studied Zylphia a moment before glancing around the elaborate conservatory. “It seems he’s afraid of the past repeating itself.”

  Zylphia thought of her cousin Savannah and the stories she had heard about Savannah’s first marriage to Jonas Montgomery as she glanced around a room that had once been theirs. Only after the wedding had Savannah realized he’d married her for the generous dowry promised by her grandparents. Another of Savannah’s cousins, Clarissa, had barely evaded a similar fate. “Exactly.” She smiled at her friends. “Besides, I don’t know why we’re worried about marriage when we’ve our pact.”

  Rowena shook her head. “You know as well as I do that the pact was foolish. We’ll have to marry before women are granted the vote.”

  Parthena nodded her agreement to Rowena’s words.

  “I refuse to live as a pauper while my father moans about the expense of having me under his roof. His threats are becoming more frequent.” Parthena shuddered.

  Rowena smiled gently at Zylphia who appeared crestfallen. “You know it was juvenile, Zee. It had no basis to it other than a momentary exuberance for a preposterous idea.”

  Zylphia sighed. “If I’m honest, I can say I agree. I liked having a ready excuse to have at hand when my family discussed the many potential suitors I would meet at the balls.”

  “Well, unlike my family, yours wants to see you happy,” Parthena said. “They’d never threaten you with penury.”

  “No, but I sometimes think they doubt my ability to know my own dreams,” Zylphia said.

  “I think they refuse to allow you to limit yourself,” Rowena said with a smile. “When you think about it, that’s a truly wonderful thing.”

  “What brings you by?” Teddy asked as he watched Zylphia wander his laboratory. He raised an eyebrow at her maid dozing in a chair by the door.

  Zylphia took note of his focus. “My mother insisted I not come alone. She doesn’t want me running as freely around the city as I like.” She waved him to sit while she roamed about. “Ever since her return in November, she’s been much more concerned about propriety. She doesn’t understand it’s January 1914. Times are changing.”

  “For your mother, I imagine times are changing too rapidly.” He smiled with sardonic humor. “I know my mother still imagines she lives in 1890 and attempts to behave in the same manner. Did you enjoy the New Year’s Eve party?”

  “As you can imagine, it was filled to the brim with the most important members of Boston society. Miss Tyler’s mother wouldn’t have it any other way.” She glared at him. “Although you weren’t there.”

  “I’ve never been particularly fond of New Year’s. Seems an arbitrary thing to celebrate.” He shared an amused smile with Zylphia. “I’d rather we persisted in celebrating the solstices.”

  Zylphia couldn’t help but snicker. “You’re already enough of an oddity, no need to espouse any more odd notions.” Her mouth firmed as she thought of the party. “You didn’t miss much, although an enormous fountain was in the center of one of the large rooms off the ballroom, and Mr. Wheeler tripped and fell into it.”

  Teddy’s smile broadened. “I’m sure there’s more to the story than that.”

  Zylphia giggled and clapped her hands together. “You know how P.T.—Miss Tyler—and he can’t bear to be in the same room? Well, her mother somehow forced him to waltz with her. She attempted to walk away from him on the dance floor, but he clung to her like a burr, and they argued while she steered him from the floor. I don’t know what they were talking about, but I heard her call him ‘a conceited, misinformed buffoon,’ and then she pushed him, and he went flying. Rather than help him, everyone jumped out of the way, and he landed with a splash in the fountain, the goddess on top pouring water on his head.”

  Teddy laughed. “I wish I’d been there solely for that.” He watched her as she appeared lost in memories. “Did you dance, Zee?”

  “Yes, many times. Mr. Hubbard introduced me to a few of his friends, and I had a wonderful evening.”

  “Did you stub anyone’s toes?” he teased.

  “Teddy!” She flushed, before waving her hand as though it were of no consequence. “It makes me wonder why I bothered with all those dance lessons.”

  He laughed again at her silent admission of her inability to dance with ease. “I’m surprised Owen Hubbard would favor you with your views on suffragism.” At her prolonged silence, he frowned. “Zee?”

  “He may have formed the opinion that my views are not as fervent as they once were.”

  Teddy’s frown deepened. “How could that have come about? Everyone knows of your beliefs.”

  Zylphia paused her pacing to face him. “But that’s just the problem, Teddy. Everyone knows I’m outspoken for universal suffrage. If I tone down my rhetoric, maybe I’ll be able to persuade others to my way of thinking.”

  “You actually liked the attention at the ball.”

  Zylphia flinched at the accusation and the hint of disappointment in his voice. “It was refreshing to not be the only woman who didn’t dance for an entire evening for a change.” She tilted up her chin as her eyes flashed. “I have as much desire to be liked as anyone else.”

  “For God’s sake, Zee, of course I know that. Everyone does, but not at the expense of what you believe. Not at the expense of what drives you.” He watched as she paced his laboratory again. “Is that what has you upset?”

  She moved farther from the door.

  “That you’ve begun to doubt your beliefs?”

  “I have all this nervous energy thrumming through me, and I needed to escape home. My mother is having a special tea this afternoon to raise funds for the orphanage, and I couldn’t handle listening to the simpering obsequiousness needed to lighten the patronesses’ purses.”

  She roamed, stopping in front of his desk and flipping through his drawings. She stilled at a few and then continued flipping pages. She slammed the book shut and moved through the room again, her nervous energy preventing her from remaining in one place for long. This time she paused in front of one of his long workbenches.

  He smiled, his gaze following her as she picked up and set down one object after another. He winced as she slammed down a piece of metal on one of the tables. “Careful, Zee. Some of those take a long time to piece together. I don’t want my labors wasted due to one of your bad moods.”

  “What are you working on?”

  “I don’t like talking about my experiments until I’m more certain they’ll turn into something useful. However, I’ll make an exception for you.” He smiled as she traced one of his projects with a finger. “I’m working on perfecting wireless transmission.”

  “Wireless transmission? Why would anyone want that?”

  “I suspect many will, starting with the military.” He watched as her movements became less frenetic. “What’s wrong, Zee?”

  She sank onto a stool, her teal silk skirt covering her legs, her vitality fading. “I loved that feeling of being accepted at the ball, Teddy,” she whispered. “But I hated that they only wanted to be near me because they didn’t know or accept the parts of me that made me who I am. They didn’t know me, and they didn’t care to. I felt a fraud. A popular fraud but a fraud all the same.”

  Teddy reached out a large callused hand and stroked it down her forearm before gently squeezing one of her hands tightly gripping her knees.

  She relaxed at his touch. “I want to do something
with my life. My mother has her life’s work helping the unwanted children of this city. My cousins in Montana are busy preparing their campaign petitioning for the vote there. And here I am, wearing pretty dresses, acting vapid as I enjoy circling a dance floor, doing nothing. I thought things would change after the march in Washington, but that was nearly a year ago! However, nothing’s happened, at least not for me.”

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

  The scraping sound of him pulling up another stool to sit near Zylphia momentarily woke the maid. Zylphia and Teddy sat in a narrow aisle, obscured from view by objects littering the tops of the elevated lab tables.

  “I have a feeling the struggle for the vote will be an on-going endeavor. Besides, you have your work at the orphanage.”

  “That’s my mother’s work, not mine. I should be doing something for the women’s cause, other than tricking the unsuspecting into joining it. I should be doing more than sitting here with you, complaining I’ve yet to make a difference in garnering the vote.”

  “Then why don’t you travel to Montana? Be with your cousins and help them?” He smiled gently. “That way you’ll work for a cause you believe in while not having to forswear those beliefs to a group of people who have little interest in altering their long-held prejudices.”

  She froze, arrested in place at his suggestion. “My father would never allow me to go alone.”

  “I know you’re clever enough to find a way to persuade your father and mother into traveling there with you.”

  “Are you that desperate to see me gone?” She sobered when he failed to smile at her weak attempt at humor.

  “I’ll never be happy to be separated from you. You’re one of my rare, true friends. But I will know joy to see you with a sense of fulfillment.”

  His eyes, usually a brilliant gray, appeared almost silver behind his glasses, as he reached forward to push back a tendril of her raven hair.