When will I ever learn?
Hilda grabs some linens out of a cabinet. “Do you have this, Rachelle? I need to go and get the dining room ready.”
I wave her away. “Yes, go do what you need to.”
Blake seems to have cooled towards me. It’s best anyway. He lives in another state after all. Me in California and him in Texas. That’s how it happens most times. I refuse to let anyone in, much. Once a guy realizes that, they move on to the next girl.
“You know I can almost hear the gears in your head grinding,” he says as he moves in behind me. “Max told me you spent a little time in the children’s home. Just because your mother wasn’t a good one, doesn’t mean you have to live life trying hard not to be a nuisance to anyone.”
I spin around and find he’s so damn close I can smell the shampoo he used. It’s crisp and clean and I’d love to run my hands through those damp curls and get that smell all over them. But I won’t.
“He shouldn’t have told you that.”
“People talk, Rachelle. People tell each other things. It’s what friends do.” His fingertip touches my cheek and he runs it over my cheek bone. “You have beautiful bone structure.”
I blink as I look into his blue, brown eyes.
“You’re forward.”
“Your prefect,” he says in a whisper.
“Oops!” I hear Kip say as he walks into the kitchen. “I just have to fill Pax’s bottle with milk then I’ll be out of your way.”
He goes to the fridge and pours milk into a bottle and I move away from Blake. “No reason to hurry, Kip. We’re just cooking in here.”
“It smells awesome,” Kip says. “Get back to it, you two.” He leaves and I feel Blake’s warm body come up behind me.
His hands slip over my arms and my knees nearly buckle as his lips graze my shoulder. “I find you fascinating.”
My heart stops and my body quivers. He’s just too much. It’s too intense, and he’s most likely a huge player. “Look, I know you must always get your way with the females but I’m not easy. I’m really a waste of your time.”
My hair he pulls back, warm lips touch my neck and I moan.
Crap! That was a mistake!
His arms run around me and he rocks me gently as he trails kisses down my neck, lingering near my ear. “Want me to stop, Rachelle?”
Hell no, I don’t want him to stop. It feels amazing!
“Stop,” I say. I try to tense my body up, but the damn thing is rebelling against me as he holds me to him like this. It refuses to tighten up in his strong arms.
He lets me go and I have to lean on my hands on the countertop to hold myself up. My brain is screaming at me to turn to him and throw my body back into his huge arms. I can’t though. The pain of what will surely happen isn’t a thing I want in my life.
“School is my focus. I can only focus on one thing at a time and my career is what that is right now,” I say as I pull myself together.
“Hmm,” he says as he moves further away from me. “School, huh? Only one thing at a time, huh? Sounds dull and you seem anything but dull, Rachelle.”
“I am dull. Dull as they come. You’d be very dissatisfied with me. I can assure you.” I wipe away a stray tear that got away from me somehow. “That’s what always happens. They all leave.”
“How many?” he asks as he leans over the counter and looks at me, but keeps his distance across the island.
“How many what?” I ask, focusing on cutting the tomatillos.
“How many men, or boys left you?” he asks as he threads his fingers together and leans his chin on them as he props his elbows on the countertop.
“All of them.” I look up at him and glare. “All of them, okay? Happy now? I’ve been dumped by all I’ve dated. I’ve never been the dumper, only the dumped. So, you see I don’t want to get hurt again. And let me tell you, Blake, you would hurt me bad. I can feel it clean to my toes, you’d be the one who’d break what’s left of this heart.”
He straightens up and frowns at me.
“How can you be so damn sure of that? I’m a good guy. I’ve dated only a couple of girls and we parted ways in very amicable manners. We still exchange pleasantries when we accidentally meet. There are no hard feelings on either side. So, what makes you so sure I’d hurt you?”
I look down and don’t want to answer him, but my mouth opens up anyway.
“Because the moment I saw you, I wanted you. I wanted all of you in a mere instant. That’s why I know you’ll hurt me.” I run from the kitchen and mentally kick myself.
Never have I not had control over letting my true feelings out. I always keep the real things in. It’s what I do. That man has some kind of magic over me and that’s nothing but dangerous.
I need to get out of here right now!
Blake
I watch as Rachelle runs from the kitchen and know I should just let her go. I should pack up and leave. She’s got a lot going on in that pretty little head of hers.
Only I can’t stop my feet from following her. I can’t stop myself from wanting to show her how wrong she is and how I would never hurt her. If she would give me the chance, I would never leave her.
I see Hilda in the dining room as I walk by it and lean in.
“Hey, I kinda upset Rachelle. Looks like you have to finish up dinner. I’m sorry.”
Hilda nods. “That’s okay. She’s a fragile girl. Max was much the same way until he found Lexi. She just needs a good man in her life. A good person to show her not everyone is like her mother and father. Not everyone leaves them alone with nothing but a bunch of strangers to care for them.”
I nod in agreement. “It’s a terrible thing some parents do to their children.”
“It is,” she says then turns stern eyes on me.
“Blake, I don’t know you. I’m not one to butt in, but this girl. Well, she’s had a difficult life and if you can be no more than another brick in the wall which surrounds her heart, leave her be.”
I nod and smile before I walk away. Hilda’s right. If I can’t go all in, I need to leave her alone. Rachelle told me she knew I could break what’s left of her fragile heart. I don’t know the future, there are no guarantees.
One step I take after another until I find myself in my bedroom. I hear something in the bathroom that’s connecting Rachelle’s bedroom to mine. My feet take me towards it and I stop just outside the door.
I should turn back. I should leave her alone. My hand touches the door knob and I twist it to find it unlocked. I should walk away. The last thing I should do is open the door on her privacy.
The hell with it!
I hear water running in the sink so I know I won’t catch her with her pants down, so to speak. I throw open the door and she flips around, her mouth open and her cheeks stained with tears.
“I’m sorry,” I say as I walk straight to her and take her in my arms and bring my mouth to hers.
Her body stiffens, and she presses her hands against my chest. I wrap a section of her long hair in my fist and pull it back, making her lips part under mine. My tongue moves into her mouth and the low moan she makes fills me with relief.
She likes it!
My body is on fire for her. Never have I felt this way. I lift her off the floor and wrap my arms around her tiny waist. Back to my room, I carry her. Her arms run around my neck and she returns my kiss.
Lying her back on the bed, I never let our mouths part. She might bolt again and I need her to trust me, to believe in me, to want me like she’s never wanted anyone before.
Her hands tangle up in my curls as I run my hand down her shoulder, over her arm then over her side. She trembles and when I run my hand back up her arm I can feel the goosebumps which have sprouted over her skin from my touch.
I move my body a little so I can run my hands over her thigh. One of her hands moves over my back and she moans into my mouth, sending vibrations through me. I go at her more hungrily, touching every place in her sweet mout
h, feeling all I can possibly feel. I have no idea if she’ll ever let me this close again.
The skin on her thigh is soft and supple. I push her short dress up a bit and run my hand up and over her flat stomach. It twitches beneath my palm. She’s warm and inviting as I keep moving my hand until I hit a breast.
A perfect mound of taut flesh I find which drives me to want so much more. Over her silky bra I run my hand and cup her breast. One of her legs moves over mine as she presses her soft core to me.
There are things that should be asked, but I’m so damn afraid of pulling my mouth from hers that it is unbelievable. My hand flows around her to the back of the bra and I unclasp it, releasing the part of her body that’s intrigued me from the start.
With the bra loose, I run my hand back to the breast I had before and move the bra, touching her soft flesh and finding her hard, erect nipple. I press it with my fingertips and she moans again.
My God what will actual sex feel like?
Rachelle
My heart’s pounding so hard I fear I might pass out. My body is reacting so differently to his. I can’t stop myself from running my hands all over him. For the love of all that’s holy, I’m pressing my body to his like I have to have it to live or something.
I didn’t even flinch when he undid my bra and cupped my bare breast in his large and sure hand. I’m putty in the man’s hands. Never has this happened to me before.
His kiss softens, and he pulls his mouth from mine. My God, I’m lifting my head and cupping the back of his neck to make him bring that luscious mouth back on mine.
Who am I?
His eyes are dark and full of desire, his lips are swollen from our hard kissing and I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my life. If he’s about to walk away from me I may have to kill him.
His finger traces my lips. “Baby, I didn’t bring any protection.”
My mind says to stop this now. Never do I allow a man to have intercourse with me without a condom, even though I’m on the pill to regulate my periods. This one though…
“Have you been tested? Are you clean?” I ask.
His lips curl into a smile. He nods. “Are you on some type of birth control?”
I nod and his smile goes wider. He looks into my eyes as if he’s looking into my soul. He swallows hard and says, “I don’t want to do this until you trust me, Rachelle. I want you to feel safe with me.”
“So, we aren’t going to continue this?” I ask, my voice full of disappointment.
He smiles and chuckles. “I’m glad to see that disappoints you.” He tweaks my nose. “I was beginning to get the distinct impression you wanted none of this.”
“I know I’m closed off, Blake. I don’t give my whole self to anyone, or never have before. You terrify me.” I look right into his eyes so he can see how real I’m being with him. “This isn’t like me at all.”
“We don’t have to take this fast. We can go as slow as you need to.” His hand runs over my chest and he takes a breast in his hand. “We can mess around some more if you want. But I won’t ask anymore from you until we know each other better.”
My God this man is fantastic!
I bite at my bottom lip. “You’re different, do you know that?”
He nods. “So are you.”
I cup the back of his neck and pull him to me. His lips fall soft on mine and he swirls his tongue into my mouth as he gently squeezes my breast and runs his thumb over the nipple, teasing it.
His mouth pulls away from mine and he trails kisses down my neck and over my chest, then he takes my breast into his mouth and suckles it. It sends shock waves through me and I arch up and groan.
I’ve never really liked my breasts sucked on, but he’s doing it so much better than anyone ever has. His other hand finds my other breast, and he massages it while he sucks on the other.
I run my hand over the back of his head, threading my fingers through his curls. The other hand I run over his tightly muscled back. Relishing the contours of his corded muscles.
I can’t believe this perfect man wants me. Not just to have sex with tonight, but he seems to want to have a relationship.
With me!
My mind is going crazy with wonder about his male appendage. It’s growing and pressing on the side of my leg as he lies next to me, pressed up against my side. I take my hand and run it down his back until I reach his waist then I slide it down slowly.
His body is warm under my palm and I keep moving it until I find his bulging male member. From what I can tell, it’s pretty long and wide. I run my hand up and down its length over his jeans.
Blake sends one hand between my legs and rubs it over my silk panties. The heat his hand gives me nearly melts my insides. I want this man so damn bad, it’s nearly killing me.
My clothes feel like they weigh a million pounds, I want them off and his off and his warm skin all over mine. He pulls his mouth off my breast and kisses down my chest and over my stomach.
His lips move over the skin of my stomach as he asks, “Can I take your dress off?”
He must’ve read my mind. “Please.”
Slowly he moves the dress up, kissing every bit of exposed flesh he finds as he does. Over my head, he slips it, then he takes the straps of my bra and pulls it the rest of the way off me.
Only my panties are left on as he looks down at me and takes me all in. His fingertips he glides over my breasts and stomach and down my legs. “You are really perfect, baby.”
I take in a ragged breath. I’ve never allowed anyone to just look at me like this. It’s unnerving a little, but the way his eyes shine as he takes in every inch of me has me feeling like it’s okay. Like it will all be fine.
Slowly his eyes and fingers trail back up to my face and he runs them over my cheeks. “Thank you, I know this isn’t easy for you.”
“It’s not. I don’t let myself be this vulnerable, ever.” I close my eyes as he runs his hands through my hair.
“I’m glad you’re letting me get close. I promise you’ll never regret it,” he says then his lips touch mine, and he kisses me so softly I think I might cry.
He’s not going to make this easy on me!
Blake
Softly, I take her lips and run my tongue over them, lightly. I stroke her bare breast with my fingertip, feather light. Her body is gorgeous, tiny yet full. Voluptuous breasts that quiver with my touch beg to be taken.
Tonight isn’t about sex, tonight is about learning about one another. All her life she’s kept her true self hidden deep inside and I want her out in the open with me.
Her hand presses against my chest and she moves it over my pecs. I can tell she likes the way my muscles feel. I pull away from her and sit up, pulling the T-shirt off. The way her eyes light up as she looks me over has me smiling.
I take her hand and hold it to my abs. She smiles. “How did you manage to get an eight pack?”
“The usual way, hard work.” I wiggle my eyebrows at her. “When not playing video games, I work out. I have a whole gym in my parent’s living room. I don’t really go in there to hang out and watch television like I used to when they were there.”
A frown covers her face.
“Is it lonely? I mean, I’ve lived by myself for nearly three years now. The apartment I have in L.A. has always been just mine, so I don’t have anyone to miss there. Where you live used to be full with your parents and you. You have to miss them.”
Her skin is light and glows in the dark room. “The truth is I do miss them. I miss them more some days than others, but I miss them more often than I let on.”
The way her hand moves over my stomach makes me tremble and she notices. “You hide a little your own self too, don’t you?”
I hate to admit that to myself more than anyone else, but she’s right. “I suppose I do.”
“Why do you stay there?” she asks, with slight confusion on her face. “I mean, why not buy yourself a grand mansion like the other billionaires have?�
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“I guess I don’t see a reason to do that yet. I’m fine where I’m at for now. And I’m not ready to leave my home at the moment.” I lean down and nuzzle her neck. The way her hair smells like honeysuckle is amazing.
She strokes my cheek. “Maybe I could help you look for a place. That might be fun. Where is it you want to live?”
“I have no idea. Wherever you are sounds nice,” I say with a chuckle.
The way her hand runs over my back and up into my hair sends chills through me. Her words come out soft as she says, “We’ll see if you continue to think that way, Blake. No one else ever has.”
A knot forms in my throat at how she must feel. Her own mother gave her up, of course she thinks she’s unlovable. I press my lips to her neck and move them until I find hers.
I pull them away and look at her, tracing her lips. “Spend the night with me.”
“Here, in this bed?” She pats the blanket under her.
“Yeah, let me hold you all night. I swear I won’t do anything other than that.”
“Take your jeans off and let’s climb under the blanket. I think I’d like to see how that works. Truth be told, I’ve never been held all night.”
I get up and drop my jeans and kick off my shoes as she moves up and pulls the blanket down. I climb in beside her and pull her to me. Little kisses I give her cheek and sigh.
“It’ll be hard to keep myself from ravaging you, but I want you to trust me.” My hand runs over her breast under the blanket.
“I’d like to trust you, Blake. If it helps, I’m exercising great restraint. I’d really like to feel you all over me.” Her hand runs over my shoulder and I can see lust burning in her blue eyes.
I want to see more than lust in them though. I kiss her forehead and whisper, “With you, I need more than sex. I feel like you and I can have a real connection if we take things slow.”
It’s going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I have to follow my instincts.
Winter Page 52
