The urge to kiss her awake and make sweet love to her again I am having to fight. She needs to sleep. The way her eyes looked when I saw her told me she’s had so much sorrow and has beaten herself up over too many things.
My mind told me to turn away from her, but my heart wouldn’t allow that. No matter her transgressions, she still is the only real love I’ve ever known and most likely ever will.
To make her happy is all I can think about. To make her feel my love for her encompasses my every thought, my every movement as I take her into my loving arms. I rushed my need for her before and I will never make that mistake again.
She’s sensitive to my feelings. If she senses I need her too much too soon, she’ll run. If she thinks for one second I’m trying to control her, she’ll bolt. Can’t say I blame her after all she’s went through.
She only really trusts herself to take care of what she wants. Again, who could blame her after her own mother let her down at the most vulnerable time of her life?
I have to wonder what I’m in for. She has two crazy as shit parents after all. I have to wonder if I’m strong enough to handle all which goes with this magnificent woman I hold in my arms.
She stirs and her eyes flicker open and she smiles when she sees me looking down at her as I’ve propped my head on my hand. “Hi,” she says, sleepily.
I kiss her cute little nose. “Hi.”
She turns in my arms and wraps her arms around my neck and snuggles into my chest. I lay back down and cuddle her to me. She feels so tiny and I think how I could never have left her somewhere and just walked away the way her mother did all those years ago.
The fact is if she’d never have run from me. I would’ve never let her go. My heart lurches as I think about her leaving me again.
I stop and push the thought from my head. There are no guarantees in this life. I sure as hell know that. I need to take each day as it comes and enjoy what I have at the moment and not dwell on what might happen tomorrow, or the next day, or even the day after that.
Today, this moment, is all which matters right now. I need to live in this moment and cherish the way her body feels as it conforms to mine. The way her warm breath is falling in waves on my chest. The way my love for her makes me feel.
It’s great that she loves me back. It’s fantastic, actually, but I don’t have to dwell on if she’ll love me forever.
It needs to be enough that I have felt all-encompassing love. If I get more days of this that is more than fantastic. If another never comes for me, well, at least I have felt it.
And that’s what really matters, after all!
Part 6 Intense Luck
Rachelle
Thin rays of pink light stream through a tiny opening in the dark curtains of Blake’s bedroom. His strong arms cradle me and the feeling I’m home is both comforting and scary as hell to me.
Soft kisses on the back of my neck let me know he’s awake and a familiar bump against my back begins to pulse. A low moan he makes and my body fills with heat.
Although we made love more times in the last few days than I can count, I still crave more of this man. He’s gorgeous, sweet, and so very well endowed.
My hand runs over his hip and down his muscular leg as he moves in even closer behind me. I lie on my side in front of him and lean my body back to meet his. He lifts my hair and peppers my neck with sweet little kisses.
“Good morning,” I say with a giggle as his kisses tickle me.
“Good morning to you.” He turns me in his arms and I’m looking into his beautiful, blue, brown eyes.
My stomach tightens as I look into his eyes and find love and freedom in them. His mouth moves over mine and lightly his tongue runs over my bottom lip. I open my mouth and let him come in.
His kiss takes me away from everything, no worries about him leaving me, no fear about what might happen in the future, just pure unadulterated pleasure. My body quickly reacts to his and I press mine to his. The moan he makes lets me know he’s happy with that.
With a quick movement, he turns me over to lie on my back. His knee pushes my legs apart, and he moves his body over mine. I arch up to meet his hard length and find myself moaning as he slides into me.
The way he fills me entirely makes me ache deep inside. My need for him consumes me and I arch up to get him as deep as I can in this position. Slow and steady he takes me.
Tender motions and tenderly he kisses me. I cup the back of his neck and press his mouth harder on mine. His tongue moves against mine with a little more fervor.
Harder he strokes and my heart speeds up as well. His entire body touches mine then he moves it away as he pulls all the way out of me. The absence of his warm body, though only a spilt second, leaves me aching.
He retracts his tongue and moves his mouth to nip at my neck, sending me spiraling towards the end. My nails I drag across his muscled back, making him groan in a sweet agony he returns to me as he bites my neck hard.
My legs start to shake and he pulls back and looks at me.
“Do it,” he says and watches me as I let it all go for him.
Tightly I clench my legs around him as I fall apart and he smiles as I do. My breath comes in waves and it makes him smile even more. He moves harder into me and when it all starts to fade he pounds harder and then stops and pulls out.
A quick flip and I’m on my knees. He fills me again and I cry out as he goes deeper and my body convulses around him. It sends the waning orgasm into a full blown one and I moan and make little mewing sounds as he takes me further into the pleasure zone I am sure only he can.
His large hands hold me by my hips and he jerks me back to meet each hard thrust. My body is shaking as he leans over and bites my shoulder as he stiffens and climaxes, sending heat into me.
I scream a little scream and press back to him, relishing how he pulses deep inside me, sending more heat further into me. Once we both stop making any more movements he lies me down and rolls to the side of me.
He rolls right off the bed and I feel cold. I pull the blanket back to cover me and he comes back to the side of the bed with a little grin on his handsome face. My hair he brushes back and kisses my cheek.
“What do you want to do today, my little, sweet princess?”
Lie around in bed with you all day!
“I don’t know, Blake. What do you want to do?”
He kneels down beside the bed and runs his hand over my cheek. “I only want to make you happy.”
He only wants to make me happy yet my stomach dropped when he said the words. I gaze into his eyes and then I smile despite my internal feelings.
“How about you go to the store and get me some things so I can make a really great lunch. I’m thinking Monte Christos and homemade sweet potato fries.”
“Mmmm,” he moans. “Sounds good. I’ll take a shower and get dressed and you make me a list of what you need.” He stands up and strides his delicious naked body to the bathroom and my mouth waters for more of him.
My cell phone buzzes and I pick it up off the night stand to see my mother has left me a text message. -Your grandfather told me he told you about your father.-
I call her to talk and she answers on the first ring.
“Hi Tabitha,” I say. “I hope you didn’t get too angry with Grandpa.”
“I did, but don’t worry about that,” she says. “I never wanted you to know about Rodney. You see, it was his all-consuming love of me that sent me running from him. And the truth is he got me pregnant on purpose. He wanted me to marry him before we even finished high school. He trapped me, by getting me pregnant. He used a condom, but had purposely poked holes in it. Only his trap didn’t work, and I ran.”
“Wow!” I say as she finally tells me the truth about things. “But why run if he was willing to do right by you?”
“I was eighteen. Not at all ready to marry him or be a parent. He didn’t understand, didn’t care to I suppose. He wanted me and kids and he did what he could to make t
hat happen whether I was in agreement or not.” She makes a long sigh then sniffles. “Your grandfather also told me you’re in Lubbock with some man. I just wanted to let you know that you remind me so much of your father.”
“How? How can I remind you of him, he’s crazy?” I ask in complete confusion.
“You have the same tendency he has to strive hard to get what you want. The cooking degree, you know how hard you’ve worked to get that. And this man you’re with now, well, how deeply do you feel for him?” she asks.
“I love him like I never thought possible to love someone,” I answer. “I feel at home with him.”
Another deep sigh my mother makes then says, “Shelly, that’s bad. It’s not normal to think that much about someone, especially so damn soon. I’m really afraid that if this guy dumps you, like the rest did, you’ll end up like your father, going crazy like he did when I left him.”
“I need to go, Tabitha.” My mind is spinning and I feel as if I might be sick. “Thanks for the talk.”
“No problem, Shelly,” she says. “I just don’t want you to go down the same path your father did. Keep men at arm’s length. Keep your heart guarded. You don’t want to end up living under a bridge like he does. Bye now.”
She ends the call and all my hopes of having a slightly normal life with Blake by my side. I pull the blanket up to cover my now shivering body. Shock and disappointment fill me.
Blake walks out of the bathroom looking like the handsome angel he is and I stop my body from shaking. I manage to put a fake smile on my face and say, “Let me write down what I need so you can run and get that for me, babe.”
With a smile he reaches into a drawer and gets out a pen and some paper. He sits down on the bed next to me and strokes my hair as I write the list that will take him a little while to get.
I need the time to get my things and go. My body aches with every little stroke his fingers make over my head. Mentally, I make note of how this feels, for I will never feel it again.
Blake
I had to go to three stores to find this coconut flour Rachelle needs. I blink as I pull into the driveway and find Rachelle’s borrowed car gone. My heart stops and I rush inside.
Her fucking clothes are all gone!
I look around for anything, a letter or a little note telling me why she left me again. I find nothing and find my knees weak and nearly fall onto the sofa.
With a heavy heart I pull my phone out of my pocket and call Kip. “Hey, mate,” he says as he answers my call.
“Hey, Kip. Um, Rachelle left me again. I’m not going to try to contact her. I have no idea of why she left. We didn’t fight or anything. I just would really like it if you could let me know when she arrives back home safely. That’s all.”
“Sure,” he says. “I’m really sorry, mate.”
“Thanks. Bye, Kip.”
I end the call and go out to get the groceries I bought and now will go to waste as I have no idea of how to use them. I walk with the arm load of bags to Josh’s house and ring the doorbell.
He answers the door. “Hi, Blake. What can I do ya for?”
“I wanted to see if you want these groceries.”
His eyebrows arch up high. “Why’s that?”
“She left me again. I went to get these things she sent me out for and she left. I don’t know how to use any of this stuff. You may as well have them.”
He steps back. “Bring them in and let’s talk.”
I walk inside not wanting to talk. I just want to go to bed and sleep and hopefully I’ll wake up to find this has all been some horrible nightmare.
Rachelle
I’ve been back home two weeks and find myself feeling so empty. Blake hasn’t tried to contact me, not even once. He must hate me and I should be happy about that, but I’m not. I’m miserable.
Instead of heading home after my last class, I’m heading over to cry on Peyton’s shoulder. My mother keeps calling me and talking to me about how I have so much of my father in me and how alike the two of us are.
It’s literally making me sick!
I pull into the driveway and Peyton opens the door and lets Pax walk on his little legs to me. I pick him up and he kisses my cheek and hugs me. I hug his tiny body and nearly cry.
Peyton takes him out of my arms as I get to her and she pulls me into her arms where I promptly fall apart. “I’m a mess without him,” I say as I cry.
“I know you are, sweetie,” she says as she leads me inside.
Loud sobs I make and try hard to stifle them as Kip approaches us and I see him through waves of tears. “How’s our girl?” he asks as Peyton hands Pax to him.
“Not well, but I’m about to get to the bottom of it,” Peyton tells him as she pulls me down the long hallway to the bedroom I always stay in when I come here.
She stops by the kitchen and grabs a tub of chocolate ice cream and two spoons then we go into the room and we climb up on the bed and sit shoulder to shoulder.
Peyton dips a spoon into the chocolaty miracle food and hands it to me. “Eat,” she commands in a soothing tone. “You’ve easily lost ten pounds, girl.”
Somehow I choke down the spoonful and find it spurs me on to eat more. “I haven’t eaten more than a few crackers since I left him.” I sob again. “Why did I do that, Peyton?”
She shakes her head. “You told me your mother, and you have been talking. Now dry up the crying so you can fill me in on all the details and maybe I can help you figure out why you made such a drastic and bad decision.”
Peyton hands me a tissue from the bedside table and I blow my nose, she hands me another and I wipe my eyes. I swallow back the sobs and try to get determined to stop crying so she can help me.
“Okay, I think I’m okay for now,” I say as I shake my head and take another bite of ice cream. “It was going great. No, more than great. Oh, Peyton, the way he makes me feel is out of this world.”
“So why run?” she asks as she scoops out another chocolate mound.
With a deep breath, I say, “Well, it all started when I found out who my real father is. He’s a homeless man whose really crazy and lives under an overpass in my hometown.”
Peyton’s spoon halts in midair and she looks at me. “You have to be shitting me!”
I shake my head and gulp down another bite. “I wish! I went to see him.”
Her hand juts up, and she stops me. “Wait! You went to see a crazy man under a bridge. Why on Earth would you do such a thing and please tell me you took someone with you when you did that!”
“No, Mom! God! You sound like Max and Lexi and Blake!” I shake my head and take another bite. “You know what would go great with this?”
“What?” she asks with a frown.
“Some red wine!” I smile and her frown deepens.
“Well, I can get you some.” She gets up and starts to walk away.
“You won’t be joining me?” I ask in surprise because Peyton is a lover of the grape.
She turns back and has a little grin on her face. “I didn’t want to tell you our news and ruin your tragic moment.”
I jump up and grab her by her narrow shoulders that I have to tiptoe to reach. “Tell me what news?”
“Kip and I are expecting again!”
“You little, no good,” I say then hug her. “You two must’ve been trying, you sneak!”
“It seems that magic night when you and Blake were over here and Pax was with the in-laws worked for me and Kip. I’m under a month pregnant, but we found a test that told us we were.”
I jump up and down and we hug and I pull her back to sit on the bed. “No wine then,” I say. “I could never drink without you. Congratulations!” I pick up a spoonful of ice cream and hand it to her then take mine and fill it then we click them together like a couple of glasses.
Her smile spreads clear across her face and she says, “Thanks. We’re super happy about it.”
“Do you want a girl this time?” I ask.
&n
bsp; “You know we just want a healthy baby. Whatever we get, we’ll be good with.” Her genuine smile tells me that she’s telling the truth.
“That’s good. I wish you all the best, Peyt.”
“So, please continue with your story about going to see your homeless dad. And just know I think you’re crazy for going to see him all alone.” She sits back and we resume our positions, leaning our shoulders against the others and munching out on the ice cream.
The bedroom door opens and Kip peeks in. “I heard the screaming. Did she tell you our good news?”
“She did,” I say. “Congrats, Daddy!” I jump off the bed and hug him.
He hugs me back. “We’re pretty happy.”
“As you should be,” I say and pat him on the back then go back to sit with Peyton.
Peyton looks at Kip. “Where’s Paxxie Poo?”
“Napping,” he says then turns to leave.
Peyton looks at me. “Can he stay?”
I nod. “You wanna come talk some sense into me?” I ask him.
He nods and runs back and hops on the bed, stealing Peyton’s spoon and taking a scoop of ice cream. “Fill me in.”
Peyton laughs and says, “Okay, Shelly knows who her father is. He’s a homeless, crazy man who lives under a bridge in her hometown of Round Rock and she went, all by herself to see him.”
Kip frowns and I hold up my hand to stop him before he tells me how crazy that was. “I know I was dumb for doing that. Believe me I know that now.”
“Okay,” he says. “Proceed please.”
“All righty then,” I say and lean back against a mountain of pillows. “So, I went to see him and he knew who I was. He started out reasonably sane, but when I left he threw a bottle of orange juice I gave him at the truck I was driving and I heard him yelling my mother’s name and a barrage of cuss words.”
They both just sit and shake their heads at me. Then Kip says, “See what happens when you deal with crazy people?”
Winter Page 63
