Winter

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Winter Page 129

by Michelle Love


  My body goes numb as he moves forward with his sex plan. I suppose he needs it to feel like we’ve made up. But we haven’t exactly done that. I’m going to accept the fact he has a kid and another woman who will be on the sidelines while I get to take center stage, where his family is concerned.

  And as he kisses me and nudges me to bend to his will, I do as I’ve always done and bend any way he needs me to. And for what? For the financial safety, my family gains from this?

  When it ends, he rolls off me with a deep sigh. I roll over and close my eyes and try to fall asleep to end this hell of a day. Tomorrow morning, he will leave and I will be alone with my family, thankfully. I need some time to think.

  I should be getting more out of this deal. Ryker is right. Perhaps I should get my own side relationship, no one needs to know a thing about. It’s only fair, after all!

  RYKER

  “Good morning, Ryker,” Gia says with a smile as she comes into the breakfast nook. “Thanks for shoving the map and note under the bedroom door this morning. I would’ve never found this room on my own.” Her hand flows along my shoulders as she comes to take the place next to me. “The rest of the family isn’t far behind me.” She kisses my cheek and I find a smile moving over my lips. “Thank you again for this. You’re one in a million.”

  “Damien got off early this morning,” I say as I fill her juice glass. “Is that why you’re in such a good mood?”

  After taking a long drink, she places the nearly empty glass on the table where I refill it for her. “Not exactly. I just feel kind of fantastic today. That’s all. Most likely it’s due to you bringing my family in for me.” She leans over and plants another kiss on my cheek, making me wonder what the hell happened to make this drastic change in her.

  “Well, I’m probably going to make you do flips with this,” I say then take her shoulders to keep her seated. “I’m taking you all to the beach today.”

  Her eyes go big and she claps her hands and I get another kiss on the cheek. “Thank you! You are the best, Ryker!”

  “You’re welcome. And I’m happy that you’re happy, Gia.” I kiss her cheek and find her moving at the last second and my kiss lands on her lips.

  “Oops,” she says as she turns her head.

  I kiss her cheek and have an odd feeling that wasn’t an oops, at all. The sound of her family coming down the hallway has me leaning back in my seat and in no time the small breakfast nook is buzzing with excited conversation as we all talk about going to the beach on such a sunny and gorgeous day.

  Gia’s nearly glowing as we leave the room after enjoying the delicious breakfast that was prepared for us. And Gia took the reins easily when I handed them to her. She made the order for what food they’d be preparing at the beach for us for dinner.

  Lobsters, clam, shrimp, and Mahi Mahi will all be made for us on a grill down by the water. I foresee a moonlit stroll with her this evening. I know I’m happy to have Damien out of our hair for the next two days!

  As her family goes off to dress for the day at the beach, I take Gia by the hand and lead her with me on the pretense of helping me get together leashes and other things for the dogs, so we can take them with us.

  “Lady’s never been to the beach,” she says as we look through drawers for the elusive leashes I know I have but can’t recall where I put them. “I bet she’ll love it.”

  I find a black leather collar, studded with rhinestones and hold it up, “I have your collar, now to find a couple more for the dogs.”

  She laughs and bows. “You want to me my master, Ryker?”

  She’s joking, of course. The fact she lets Damien rule her isn’t a joke, though. I take her chin in my hand, lifting her back up to eye level. “You don’t need a master, Gia. You’re perfect just the way you are. No training is required.”

  Her lips quirk up on one side as she looks at me. “Thanks. You know, I have to say I think you’re pretty perfect, yourself.” Finding the errant leashes and collars has her opening another drawer and she quickly takes out a handful of leashes and holds them up while eyeing me. “You certainly have a lot of these things. You sure you’re not into some kinky stuff, Ryker?”

  “I’ve been known to dabble on occasion. If you care to come with me to my bedroom, I could show you a thing or two.” I chuckle but I mean it. If she’d go, I’d be down for that.

  “Not right now. We’re supposed to be getting ready for a day at the beach, remember?” she asks as she picks out a red leash for her dog and a blue one for mine.

  I follow along behind her, admiring the view and happy to know I’ll soon be seeing her nearly naked. “I had something delivered to your room,” I tell her, making her stop and turn around.

  “What?” Her eyes sparkle a bit with curiosity.

  “Something I want you to wear today. It’s tiny and red and will look great on you.” I push a lock of her hair off her shoulder and let my hand rest there.

  “A bikini?” she asks with a frown. “Because I only wear one pieces.”

  “Why is that?” I ask her as I move my hand down her arm then over to her waist. “You have a smoking hot body, Gia.”

  “Damien…” She stops herself.

  “Damien doesn’t like you to wear bikinis?” I ask her as I pull her close to me. She nods and I lean in close. “He’s not here, is he? And I won’t tell on you. Can your family be trusted?”

  She giggles and says, “I suppose you’re right. Don’t take any pictures, though. He’d be furious.”

  “And we can’t make Damien mad, now can we?” I stare into her eyes until she closes hers.

  “You don’t understand.”

  “Educate me, Gia.” Letting her go, she takes a step back and shakes her head.

  “Maybe another time. I honestly, don’t want to think about him today or tomorrow. It’d be great if you wouldn’t talk about him at all. I need a little Damien-free time.” And with that she turns and walks away, leaving me wondering what the hell has gotten into her.

  GIA

  Salty air and warm sun seem to be just what the doctor would’ve ordered, had I went to one to get a cure for what ails me. The addition of Ryker has made it a day I will remember for quite some time.

  My dog is playing with his in the gentle surf. My mother and father are strolling, hand in hand, along the shoreline. My sisters are gathering shells to take home to their kids. And I am sitting on a lounge chair under the cover of a giant umbrella. I can’t recall a time when I’ve felt so relaxed.

  “How about a walk?” Ryker walks up and asks me. “The sun’s getting pretty low in the sky. A walk, on the beach, at sunset, no less. Well, I won’t blame you if you accidentally fall in love with me, if you come with me.”

  Pulling my sunglasses up, I look right into his eyes. “What if I’ve already fallen?”

  He chuckles and takes my hands, lifting me up. “You most likely have. Come on, walk with me. I want to delve into that brain of yours.”

  “I don’t want to think today,” I whimper as he keeps hold of my hand as he leads me to walk in the shallow water. Our bare feet make tiny splashes with each step and I find it odd how much I like the way our feet look, walking side by side like this.

  “Can you imagine what it will be like to swim in water that no one or thing has ever swum in before?” he asks me and I see he’s going to talk to me about going to Mars with him again.

  “Ryker, I want to ask you something. And I want you to be honest with me.”

  “I always am,” he says then pulls our clasped hands up and kisses mine. “Ask me anything.”

  “Is it selfish of me to want what Damien has?”

  “His money?” he asks.

  “Well, that and one other thing,” I say, careful not to spill Damien’s secret to Ryker, who would most certainly not keep it to himself.

  “What’s the other thing?”

  “No, I can’t tell you that. I just want to know if it’s selfish to want the same thing your boyfri
end has.”

  “Like, he has a motorcycle, so you want one? That kind of thing?”

  I weigh that idea then nod. “Yes, he has something and I find it unfair that I don’t get to have one too. If that’s how he wants to be.”

  “Come on,” he says as he stops and takes both of my hands and turns me to face him. “Tell me what he has that you want too but he won’t let you have.”

  “Just something. I really can’t say. But I have no choice except to let him keep this thing he has. If I was to get something like it, it would have to be kept a secret. I’m not a liar, so that may well be impossible,” I tell him as he looks at me with an odd expression on his handsome face.

  “I think it’s fair for you to want the same treatment you give. I think it’s fair to want things that your other half has if you want them. Is this a thing you two could share?”

  A laugh jumps out of me, without me knowing it was going to happen. I jerk my hands out of his and cover my mouth with them. “Sorry.”

  “What would be funny about that?” he asks as he eyes me, suspiciously.

  “Nothing. So, if I did get something along the lines of what he has, you’re saying I wouldn’t be an awful person?” I ask him to be sure of what it is he thinks.

  I care about what he thinks of me. I don’t want to come at him with my idea and have him think me trashy or a person with bad moral character.

  “I’ll get whatever it is for you,” he says and I laugh again. “You’re making me crazy. What is it? Is it some kind of weird sex toy?”

  “No. Not really.”

  Taking my hand, he starts walking again and shakes his head. “So, what will I be getting you?”

  “You.” I leave my answer short as I have no idea of what else to tell him.

  He laughs and looks at me out of the corner of his eye. “Me?”

  I nod and bite my lower lip as I wait to see what he thinks about it. He looks down and doesn’t say anything, making me think this was a huge mistake. So, I add, “It’s just for sex, Ryker.”

  “Damn!” He makes a nervous laugh and then stops. “Gia, what is this about? You told me you are no cheater and now you openly ask me to have sex with you. That is what you’re asking, right? For us to have sex but tell no one about it? And just what are we talking about, once? Or is it more like an ongoing thing that we have to hide? Because I’m not into sharing. I’m not into lying and hiding, either.”

  And just like that, I know I’ve messed up. “Forget I said anything.” I pull my hand out of his and try to walk away from him but he grabs my arm, pulling me back to him.

  “If you’ve found out Damien is screwing someone else, why aren’t you dumping his ass?” he asks me as he glares into my eyes.

  He’s furious!

  I did not see this coming at all. I thought he’d just agree to a simple affair and be happy about it.

  “Because it’s complicated. And you can’t tell a soul. You have to promise me.”

  “Gia, you aren’t being true to yourself. There’s no good reason for him to have an affair and you stay with him. Get out of this relationship. You’re not even married, for God’s sake! Is it financial security? I can give you a job that will pay you a lot of money. Don’t do this to yourself. End it with him.”

  I look at him and know I’m breaking the agreement I made with Damien by doing this but I can’t seem to stop myself. “He got a woman pregnant on accident a few days before we met. She has his son. He’s taken care of her and the boy but she was a prostitute and his family will never allow him to marry her. If they found out about her and the boy, they’d cut him off without a cent.”

  “And that’s your problem because?” he asks me with squinting eyes.

  “Because I want financial security for my family. It’s a trade-off. I keep his family off his back by portraying his loving girlfriend or wife until he leaves on the mission to Mars. He’ll be taking the woman and boy with him but his family won’t be aware of who they are to him. I’ll get to keep his money, making me and my family set for life and then some.”

  “You’re selling yourself to him, Gia. An MIT graduate, a brilliant person, and you are selling your body to a man.” Disgust covers his face then he lets my hand go and walks away from me.

  I’m stunned. In silence, I stand and can’t comprehend what just happened here. I was offering him exactly what he’s wanted from the beginning. Sex with me.

  How could he judge me so harshly?

  RYKER

  Rain has set in as I head back to Orlando. I politely left Gia and her family alone at my place and told them I had pressing business to see to in Orlando. I told her family goodbye and told her I would send a car for her and make sure she was returned to the room she shares with Damien at the Four Seasons. I don’t want to see her anymore.

  She may be brilliant but she’s so broken I don’t think it’s possible to fix her. I’ve made arrangements to go out this evening with a young woman I met at a club a couple of months ago. I need someone to take my mind off Gia.

  The driver pulls to a stop in front of the restaurant I’m meeting Yolanda at and I get out. I put on one of my best suits before I left my home. Gia looked at me with a sad expression and told me goodbye. She could tell I was going to go out once I got into town.

  Her face is haunting me and I have to do something to get it out of my head. She’s a terrible person!

  Just as I walk into the place, I see Damien and he has his little, secret family with him, it looks like. Making quick strides to him, I decide to see what he tells me about the woman and child who are with him.

  He scans the room then he sees me, heading his way. “Ryker, hello.”

  “Damien,” I say as I gesture to the short woman who is nowhere near as pretty as Gia is. “Who do we have here?”

  He doesn’t falter, used to this, I suppose, as he says, “This is Svetlana and Friedrich. My good friend from back home didn’t feel well, so I took his wife and son out for dinner.”

  The woman looks down at her son and I can see she’s also used to being introduced this way. “Nice to meet you, both,” I say and pat the little boy’s head. The child looks just like Damien. How he’s gotten away with this in his hometown with his family around, is shocking.

  “And you’re back in Orlando, because?” he asks me.

  “I have a date I forgot about. She’s meeting me here. I’m going to send a car for Gia on Monday when her family leaves. She’ll be delivered to the hotel,” I inform him then see my date waiting at the bar for me.

  “You seem agitated,” he says. “Did anything happen that I should know about?”

  I want to blurt out that he turned a fantastic woman into a blithering idiot by what he’s done but I can’t do that, so I say, “No, the trip was long because of the rain. I felt bad for leaving my date waiting for me. I’ll be staying in town for the rest of the weekend.”

  “I’ll see you on Monday to finish hashing out our deal. You should make time to come to Russia, later in the month,” he tells me.

  “I will,” I say, knowing I will have to see Gia now and then with this business he and I have. But I’m not liking it one bit.

  With a wave, I leave and go to the bar. “Took you long enough,” Yolanda says as I approach her.

  “It was raining. I’m sorry. Did you have more important plans?” I take her hand and lead her to the host, so we can be seated.

  “I might have. Why such short notice, Ryker?” she asks me.

  I stop and pull her close to me. “I needed someone to help me get some other person out of my head and your name came to mind.”

  She slides her hand over my shoulder and coos, “Lucky me.”

  She may not feel so lucky when we’re done. I have some major aggression to work out!

  GIA

  “I’d rather not, Damien,” I tell him as he’s getting ready to go to see Ryker for a lunch meeting that he wants me to go to with him. “I just got back and I need to rest. My f
amily said to tell you goodbye. They hope to see us soon.”

  “Maybe you should invite them to see us. Maybe they could do that sometime,” he says as he straightens his tie. “I saw Ryker at a restaurant on Saturday night. He was on a date.”

  My heart falls because I had a feeling he was going out. “Oh, yeah?”

  “I had them with me, Gia. He may tell you about that. That’s the reason I’m bringing this up. I told him they were my sick friend’s family.”

  “What are their names?” I ask him as I fall into a chair.

  “Svetlana and Friedrich,” he tells me. “I’m sure Ryker will use that to try to get at you. Tell you I’m on the prowl.”

  “I wouldn’t worry about that,” I say then look around the room for something to drink. I’ve spent every waking moment rethinking what I told Ryker. And in none of the scenarios did I envision him going out with another woman and seeking her attention, instead of mine.

  “Was she pretty?” I find myself asking him.

  “Svetlana?” he asks me.

  “Sure,” I say but I meant the woman Ryker was with.

  “She’s not unattractive. You have more beauty than she does.”

  “And the woman Ryker was with?”

  He looks at me with a frown. “Why would you care?”

  “Why not?” I ask him and get up to go to get the bottle of vodka I see on the small dining table. “Vodka, Damien? Did you bring them to our room?”

  “Yes,” he comes to me and pulls me into his arms. “I feel much better being honest with you.” His lips touch my cheek and my stomach cramps.

  “I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll see you when you get back. I think I’m coming down with something,” I lie and get away from him and go into the bathroom.

  “I’ll see you later,” he says then I hear the door shut and I explode into tears.

  Nothing is fair! Damien is getting everything he wants. Ryker is too. And I’m getting nothing!

  Well, I am getting money and lots of it but nothing else. And now that Ryker has pointed out that I’m no better than a paid whore, I feel as if I’m losing more than I’m gaining.

 

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