by Janie Marie
“So are you.” He smirked down at her. “Yes, I saw you reading the books on your porch one evening, and I wanted to know why you smiled and cried. They’re masterfully written.”
She groaned. “Stop making me like you.”
He merely tightened his arm around her shoulders. Even if she felt Ryder was the one who had a chance at being her boyfriend, it was nice to just experience having one. She’d given up on the idea of a boyfriend when her mom got married, and things with Ryder and Tercero were still so new and neither one had been able to be a public boyfriend yet.
So, feeling guilty, Jane still enjoyed being a girlfriend with her boyfriend on a Friday night. “Do you like your brothers?” she asked Luc quietly.
“Not really.” That damn smirk was on his lips again.
“You’re such a prick.” She closed her eyes as the game prepared to start.
“Do you normally watch the game with your eyes closed?” His lips were at her hairline, not kissing, just there.
“No.” She resumed her focus on the field. “I’m praying for my heart and soul.”
“Because you feel I will destroy them?”
For the first time, Jane looked away at kickoff, and she peered up at Luc’s handsome face. He was giving her all his attention. “I’m afraid you’re going to make me really like you and make it even harder for me when I have to choose between all of you.”
He was quiet, not reacting to the cheers in the crowd. “I only said you’re mine when you’re with me, Jane. Not that you had to choose.”
Twelve
Jane cheered as David stood after tackling one of the players from Helldonna. It was one of the captains; the one who had caught David’s behavior around her. There had been a lot of tension between the two of them all night. Thankfully, the Warriors were up by seven points with a score of fourteen to seven. While both teams had excellent offenses, it was their defenses that killed, and David was just keeping the Warriors on top, but it was clear they were missing Ryder.
“He’s going to wind up with a personal foul or a broken hand,” Luc muttered, leaning back and pulling her with him.
David shoved the player, and Jane saw it; he was favoring his hand, but he was still playing aggressive. Luckily, Lance Grimm guided David away, as did a few other players, from the guy he had looked ready to punch.
“Do you know who that player is?” she asked Luc.
“Just another Devil wanting to make a name for himself.” He casually twirled a lock of her hair. “I’ve heard he talks a lot on the field. Whatever he’s saying down there is getting to David.”
“Mind me asking Ryder what’s up?” She pouted her lips at him.
“Pouting doesn’t work on me, Jane.” Luc watched her and sighed when she smiled. “I never should’ve told you your smile is my weakness.”
Jane chuckled, pulling her phone from her pocket. “Oh, you like me getting my way.”
He pressed a kiss to her head and whispered, “I love watching you get your way, but I would like to occasionally get mine.”
Damn butterflies in her stomach. She peeked at the field and the monitor to make sure they weren’t being recorded before turning and kissing him.
Luc didn’t let her keep it short and sweet. He turned enough to block her mother’s view and cupped her cheek, then he gave her a kiss that made her feel like royalty.
It was the kind of kiss that looked good enough for movies, tasteful but holy hell it was so hot that she was gasping by the time he ended it.
“See,” he murmured, brushing his lips against hers one more time, “being mine feels good.”
“Yeah.” She blinked up at him, feeling a little drunk.
Luc smirked, lowering his hand. “Text your boys.”
“Oh.” Jane shook her head, focusing on the sidelines. David was there, and he and Ryder were looking her way. “Shit.”
A chuckle rumbled in Luc’s chest, but he didn’t say anything as she sent Ryder a text.
Please don’t be mad.
David snatched the phone from Ryder, and she watched him ignore the coach calling him as he angrily responded.
Ryder Cuteson: Baby, I’m barely keeping my head.
Ryder Cuteson: And I look up and see that.
I’m sorry.
He said I’m his when we’re out.
David stared up at the stands, and a bead of sweat rolled down her spine under his dark gaze.
Ryder took the phone from him, reading and shaking his head before she saw him texting her back. Ryder Cuteson: Babe, don’t say that shit to him.
She pressed her trembling lips together, moving to the edge of the seat so she wasn’t nuzzled under Luc’s arm like she’d been most of the night. It was always going to come back to this, back to feeling guilty because she couldn’t choose or push away a guy who could treat her like a girlfriend.
All she wanted was to make her own choices and have experiences she’d denied herself for years. She wanted to listen to her heart, but she knew that it was just as torn as she was. The only way to figure out who she wanted, was to be around them, wasn’t it?
The real reason she was panicking, unable to choose, was what it really came down to; once she picked one of them, she’d never be able to pick again. The others would move on, and she’d have to pray things worked out with her.
Ryder Cuteson: I’m sorry, angel.
I’m sorry I’m a stupid whore.
Ryder Cuteson: You’re not a stupid whore.
Ryder Cuteson: Just hold off on things with Luc until we can talk to you.
Okay. She hid her phone between her legs when Kingston started talking to Luc.
Ryder Cuteson: I can feel your sweet heart crying, babe.
Jane smiled sadly, still hiding her phone as she replied: I would go kiss both of you right now and shout for Tercero to come join us if it didn’t mean I’d be locked away.
Ryder Cuteson: I told him that
David jogged away, shaking his hand out as Jane texted: What’s going on with him?
Ryder Cuteson: Dylan is goading him about you.
Ryder Cuteson: The guy he almost hit.
What’s he saying?
Ryder Cuteson: Asking how badly it hurts to watch you with Luc.
Ryder Cuteson: Bringing up our sex.
Ryder Cuteson: He must know someone at our school.
Ryder Cuteson: Someone who knows David’s been hard up for you.
Jane hung her head, sighing. Poor David. He was really trying, and no one was going to let them have it easy. Then she was making it a million times harder by being with Luc in front of the world.
Ryder Cuteson: He can handle it, babe.
Ryder Cuteson: Just keep the kisses private.
Jane understood where they were coming from, but they didn’t get what it was like for her: It just feels nice to finally have a boyfriend.
His head lifted from staring at his phone, and she got lost for a while, knowing Ryder would be the perfect boyfriend.
I’ve wanted a boyfriend to love me.
If it was simple, it would be you.
But it’s hard.
And Luc’s the one here now.
Instead of replying, he pocketed his phone and walked down the sidelines. All she could do to hide the excruciating carving of her heart was press a hand to her chest and look away from Luc and her mother.
Why had she said any of that? Ryder had feelings for her—had had them for a long time. He was being told he couldn’t see her by her stepdad and now she was saying his older brother was there when it had been Ryder who’d been there all along.
As she began to fall down the hole of self-loathing, she spotted Tercero in the crowd. He was sitting five rows behind them but closer to the end of the field. He made a little ‘come here’ motion with his head, and she nodded, only realizing now she was crying. Damn it all, she was such a crybaby.
She wiped her tears away and turned to Luc. “Hey, I’m gonna run to the restroom.”
He caressed her cheek, frowning. “Do you want me to walk you down?”
“No.” She stood, fixing her hair to show off his name. At least she would make him happy. “I’ll be back.”
It took her a little while to squeeze by the row of spectators, but when she did, Jane spotted Tercero waiting at the top of the stadium. He did another little incline with his head for her to follow him, and she did.
Out of the guys her heart was trying to sort through, Tercero was the one she knew would understand and not judge her. It was unfair to expect him to make her feel better, but she was stressing out.
It was a million times worse to live out her drama in front of others. Jane lowered her gaze as several of her classmates whispered while pointing at her. Some just watched, while others wore judgment plain as day on their faces—she was a whore. It might’ve been easy to act like she didn’t care what anyone thought, but she did. She just desperately wished she didn’t.
She was so busy pondering her dumb choices, she didn’t realize she’d walked all the way to the restrooms near the exit gate.
A hand closed around her wrist and she was gently pulled into the shadows, but she didn’t scream. “Tesoro, you must really pay attention.” Tercero pulled her head to his chest. “I could’ve been a kidnapper.”
Jane didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around his narrow waist. He smelled like honey and sunshine—like leather and cologne, which crazily enough, was the mixture of David and Ryder. “Do you steal Ryder’s and David’s clothes and rub them on yourself?”
He ran his fingers through her hair as he stepped farther behind the building. “Absolutely not. You’re trembling.”
“Sad,” she mumbled, tightening her arms around him. “I like Luc.”
Tercero chuckled, his hand sliding up to cradle the back of her head. He gently tugged her hair so she’d look up at him. “You develop feelings unnaturally fast.”
Her frown deepened along with the ache in her chest. “I can’t help it. It’s like I don’t have control over my heart at all now. I don’t want to choose wrong, to miss out, and I just want more than I should.”
He lightly massaged her head as he studied her face. It was like looking at Ryder but not. They were very different, she decided, and not just the fact that Ryder was gorgeously tanned with hypnotizing emerald eyes while Tercero’s black eyes were like a deep abyss brought out by his pale skin. He had a faint quirk that was always in the corner of his mouth, like he always found something amusing about her. And the softness of his gaze was different. Ryder’s was absolute adoration, but Tercero’s was full understanding of being without.
In a way, Jane didn’t think Ryder knew loneliness, abandonment. It was just something he didn’t allow himself or that he couldn’t process. But Tercero, he knew how it felt to have your greatest desires right in front of you yet impossible to touch.
“Ryder’s mad at me,” she whispered, wondering if Tercero’s resemblance would make her comment hurt more. It didn’t. It was instantly like being reassured she wasn’t hated. “I told him I’ve always wanted a boyfriend and Luc was the one here.”
“There is nothing you can do that will truly turn my brother on you. He probably knows you’re conflicted, and he’s stopping himself from marching up and showing everyone he wants to be your boyfriend.”
What he said made her heart tingle as much as it made her want to cry. “I don’t know what to do.” She listened as the announcer said David’s name, and breathed out, relieved that he had simply made a tackle that resulted in a turnover. “Everything's happening so fast. One day Ryder was a jerk and David was just the stepbrother I was trying to hide my feelings for, and you were usually so stealthily absent from view, and Luc, God, I haven’t had a crush on him since I was a little girl—and now all of you are here and wonderful, but there are so many obstacles. I just like feeling cared for, and I want to care for all of you. But what can really go on now? Am I going to ask you, David, Ryder, and Luc to all be my boyfriends?”
That little quirk of his lips twitched. “Luc and I have slipped into the equation?”
“Yeah.” She frowned at him. “Why? You don’t want to be my boyfriend?”
He chuckled, pressing a sweet kiss on her forehead. “I just didn’t think I was to be considered alongside Ryder and David.”
“Oh.” She leaned forward, hugging him. He was a lot stronger than she ever gave him credit for. He was lean, but really, so was Ryder. Only Ryder’s strength stood out and Tercero was pleasantly fit under all his clothes. Not that he’d let her see him; he’d stayed completely clothed when he went down on her earlier, and he made excuses to leave before she could fully reciprocate, but she felt him against her now and the few times he’d pressed his body down on hers. He was glorious, for sure. “You’re definitely considered. I’m just lousy at showing you.”
“If this is you not showing me, you’re not lousy.” His lips were on her head now, and he was caressing the nape of her neck, occasionally applying more pressure exactly where she felt the tension. “Try not to stress yourself. Just continue being honest about your feelings. If you’re torn between all of us, tell us how you’d like to figure things out and leave it up to us to decide if we want to wait around.”
“You mean be strung along,” she mumbled, feeling drowsy under his touch.
“I’ve been strung along before, Jane.” He kissed her head. “This is not how it feels.”
“Even if I want to do things with each of you?” She was afraid to look at him, but she counted on his response to help her build up her confidence again. “It’s just, I’ve never experienced anything before. I kinda crave more—like I can’t get enough, and I want to see what you’re all like with me. I don’t want to look back and wonder, you know?”
“Yes, I know what you mean. Personally, I am not interested in sharing a woman, but you’re not just any girl to me. Nor are you for the others.” He dragged a hand down her back, making her sigh out in bliss. “I’m actually curious to see just how satisfied my brothers and David can make you.” His tone changed, his voice dripping with lust. “I’m curious if we make you moan the same as you did with me—if you tremble so when one of them tastes you. I’m curious to know if you’d allow yourself a chance to feel everything at once.”
“I think that’s enough,” came Luc’s calm voice.
Jane spun around, leaning against Tercero for protection. “We were just talking.”
“I heard.” Luc barely glanced at Tercero as he held his hand out for her. “Did you use the restroom already? Or was that only an excuse to run off with my little brother?”
“I—”
Tercero kissed the top of her head. “Don’t be afraid of him. He won’t hurt you.”
Luc’s jaw tightened, and he exhaled loudly through his nose. “Since she has included you in this, brother, make sure you’re at home tonight. We’ll discuss everything there.”
“She’s overwhelmed,” Tercero said, gently pushing her to Luc. “Stop ‘pissing on her’ in front of them. You know they’re both sensitive for different reasons, and she wants to be with them. So enough.”
Jane darted her eyes between them. She hadn’t expected Tercero to be so dominant, especially around his big brother.
Luc went quiet as he tucked her against his side, observing Tercero in a calculating way. “Do you plan to tell the others ‘enough’ when they have their moments with her? Will you tell yourself enough when she is supposed to be with me?”
Tercero dropped his eyes to her, reading her. He knew she wanted affection, and he didn’t want to rob her of it. “She wants your attention, brother, but there are ways to be discreet around the others. Give her time to talk to them first.”
“Thanks, Tercero,” she whispered, relieved because he was reminding her that she was the one in charge of her love life. She just had to do what was necessary to make things work and make sure she had a plan to deal with her stepdad and mom. Jane moved a bit away
from Luc, but she smiled up at him. “I want to hold off on being too cozy with you, even if I love it.”
He straightened as irritation flashed in his eyes, but he nodded. “If that’s what you want.”
Gosh, how she already wanted to take it back and just be glued to his side as he showed her off, but she pushed down her girly wish to finally have a boyfriend. She didn’t consider him her boyfriend, even if she felt drawn to him, so it wasn’t right. Not when Ryder was who she thought of as a boyfriend, and not when David was still the guy who she’d always wanted to be her boyfriend. And definitely not when Tercero was also winning over her heart. “For now, it has to be this way. When the game ends, I’m going to run down to David and Ryder. I want to reassure them my feelings for them haven’t changed, but I’ll leave with you.”
“Do you plan on making me look like a fool?” He wasn’t smiling as he held his hand out for her.
“I don’t see how me hugging my stepbrother makes you look foolish,” she said, gripping his hand.
Tercero walked past them, chuckling as Luc pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Jane, your stepbrother wants to fuck you.” He lowered his hand. “You want him to fuck you. The entire student body and some of the staff know all this. The only clueless individuals are your parents, and you want to run up to David after he wins his first game as the star, and you expect him not to make it clear he’s the one who has won your heart?”
“Well, I know David. He won’t mess up in front of everyone. And he knows I’m thinking about more than him.” She gave Luc her best smile. “I’m not stupid—this will eventually come out, but it’s not coming out tonight.”
Luc sighed, but he didn’t say anything to put her down or boss her around. She secretly loved he was arrogant and almost old fashioned than any guy she’d even been around, but she wasn’t going to let him take her boys away.
“I think it’s best we watch the rest of the game from the sidelines,” Luc murmured, guiding her the opposite direction Jane had planned. “Otherwise your stepfather will make an excuse to take you home with them.”
