by Ted Bader
“You have taught us so much, Aunt Georgiana,” said the elder Andrew, “we thought of you when we were gathering them.”
John looked embarrassed. “Next time I get in trouble, will you try to remember I helped pick the daisies?” he asked with a grin.
Tousling his blond hair, Georgiana replied, “I always keep your kindnesses in mind--that is why your parents are not informed of all your classroom antics.”
The boys ran off to play a rudimentary game of cricket on the lawn in front of the bench. Maria moved closer to her aunt. Maria was average height for her age, with dark hair which was naturally curly. Her eyes sparkled and she had a lively disposition just like her mother. She looked at Georgiana and asked in a gentle, childlike tone, “Why are you not married, auntie?”
Surprised, Georgiana looked at her niece and said, “I don’t know. I am quite shy around strangers, particularly men, and I expect this is taken as being overly proud.”
“What is shyness?”
“For me, it is being afraid to or not wanting to talk to people.”
“You are not afraid when you talk to me or Mamma.”
“I am perfectly comfortable talking to my family or friends. It is strangers, or those I have recently met, with whom I have difficulty speaking.”
“Have you ever been engaged?”
“I was infatuated one time with a young man named Mr. Wickham. I almost eloped with him.”
“What is in. . .fatted?”
“Infatuated, you mean. I am sorry for using such a big word. Being infatuated means you desire someone without a good foundation of esteem or respect.”
“What happened?”
“Your father showed me the foolishness of my feelings and Mr. Wickham left. I knew this to be infatuation since my feelings were not hurt after his departure. If I had loved him, I should have been sorely wounded.”
“Have you ever really been in love?”
“I think I might have been. It seems such a long time ago.”
“Tell me about it.”
“I was young and there was a friend that I had known for many years. He loved Phillip and made me feel very comfortable.”
“What happened?”
“He went away to the University and then into the army. I have only seen him once, for a brief period, in the past nine years.” Georgiana’s voice trailed off as she finished, “I feel as though I let him slip away, but I am not quite sure how it happened.”
“That’s sad, auntie.”
“I know. . .if I had been able to express myself better, perhaps we would be married today; but, no matter, I am quite content here at Pemberley with all that a woman could desire--your father and mother, your brothers,” and then tickling Maria’s side, “and especially you.”
“What did we hear about someone getting married?” queried Rev. Henry Westbrook as he rounded the bushes with his wife, Kitty. Both he and Kitty had gained weight since becoming husband and wife a eight years ago, making them look jolly.
“I am unaware that anything of the sort is about to happen to me,” Georgiana said as she stood and continued, “I do not wish to excite any anticipation on your part.”
“Marriage has turned out well for us,” ventured Kitty, smiling at her husband.
“Yes, and to have the living of Pemberley is such a blessing,” Henry finished.
“I am glad for your felicity,” Georgiana said stiffly, not wishing to continue the talk about marriage. She called to the boys and asked Maria to accompany her back to the breakfast parlor. Reverend and Mrs. Westbrook wished her a good day and continued their walk.
In her bedroom that evening, Georgiana recalled the only time she had ever felt strong feelings of love towards a man.
Three years earlier, Mr. Thomas Staley had returned to Derbyshire for the first time since he left for college in Cambridge. At that point, he had completed four years of college, and two years as a teaching assistant. She heard from his father, Sir William Staley, of his return and looked forward to seeing her childhood friend at the annual Westbrook ball. Two new women, Miss Harpur and Miss Helena Harpur, from the opposite side of Westbrook Manor were in attendance. Miss Harpur’s Christian name was Cassandra and she was mildly pretty at age two and twenty. Her younger sister was much better looking at age twenty. Both of the sisters were several inches shorter than Georgiana.
Mr. Thomas Staley and Sir William Staley were the last to arrive at the ball. The Staleys progressed down the reception line. It was evident to Georgiana that the Harpur sisters were delighted to meet Mr. Staley and told him directly in no uncertain terms. Thomas stopped in front of Georgiana, bowed and said, “Miss Darcy, how are you this evening?”
“Very well, Mr. Thomas Staley. Even though it has been six years since you deserted your childhood friend, you may still call me Georgiana.”
He smiled, “Of course. I am uncertain why I reverted to formality with you. Perhaps it is the beauty of your face and the felicity caused by your presence that makes me wish to formalize my manner to you.”
“Oh, Thomas, I have never known you to be a flatterer, but only honest and straightforward.”
“And I still consider myself honest. Pray, do not be afraid to accept my compliments. May I, if you would be ever so good, engage you for the first two dances?”
“Of course. It shall be a pleasure.”
Thomas then left to talk with some of the Westbrook family. Thomas did not have to endure the disdain of the Countess, since she had died in the six year interim. He was chatting with Reverend and Mrs. Westbrook until the call came for the first dance. He approached Georgiana and took her hand. During the dance, she asked, “Tell me, Thomas, why have you deprived Derbyshire of your presence for the past six years?”
“My absence has sprung from a willful desire to pay my own way at school, rather than burdening my poor father,” he paused to complete his movement and then continued, “but seeing Staley Hall and you, I have been reminded of what good company I have been missing.”
Georgiana smiled, “I am glad you enjoy your old friends here in Derbyshire; but, surely, Thomas, you need not be so concerned about supporting yourself?”
“Alas, and it is a true fault in my character. I must worry about my financial affairs, since no one else will. Growing up with little fortune has caused me to focus on it.”
“Thomas, you should not be so worried about it.”
“I do not mean to sound harsh, my dear friend, but those who grow up with great fortune may not understand those who do not.”
The dance came to an end and Georgiana offered her hand to Thomas and said, “Please forgive me. Indeed, I do not understand your fixation about finances. . . . However, I am sure it is a just concern.”
Thomas left to get some refreshments and the two Miss Harpurs came over to where Georgiana was seated. Miss Helena Harpur said in an excited whisper, “Miss Darcy, where have you been hiding this Mr. Thomas Staley? Is he not handsome and gallant?”
“He is a childhood friend who has been away at Cambridge for the past six years,” Georgiana replied.
Miss Helena Harpur continued, “You will not monopolize his attentions this evening will you?”
“Sister!” the older Miss Harpur exclaimed.
Her younger sister said, “Do not try to quiet me. You would also like to dance with the new gentleman, would you not?”
Her older sister remained quiet, but a telltale blush gave her unspoken answer.
Thomas returned from the refreshment table with a cup for Georgiana. The four of them sat down and Miss Helena Harpur sighed, “There are so few gentlemen here this evening. I suppose I shall only watch the ball tonight.”
Thomas looked at Georgiana, who gave him a look of permission. He then said, “I am engaged with Miss Darcy for the next dan
ce, but if you would do me the favor of the following dance, I should count it as pleasure.”
She blushed and said, “I shall be happy to dance with you.”
During the second dance Georgiana had with Thomas, she found herself looking at Thomas in a new light. As she sat out the third dance and watched the younger Harpur sister dance with her long-time friend, she observed both Thomas and Miss Helena Harpur laughing and smiling. Georgiana could not understand their soft talk during the dance, but their gaiety was obvious. It was clear to Miss Darcy that Miss Harpur was flirting with Mr. Staley--and he seemed to be enjoying it. An idea began to awaken in Georgiana that Thomas was indeed a desirable man! While his face was not perfect, the effect of his strong muscular build, graceful movement and curly hair was one which began to stir feelings in her. These feelings were initiated because of the admiration for him among others at the ball! A childhood friend whom she had taken for granted--until others found him grand!
Before she would let her feelings build anymore, she would have to discover if his skepticism about religion remained. She waited until he came to her after dancing with both of the Harpur sisters. As they sat alone at the table, Georgiana ventured, “And what have you learned about Christianity at Cambridge?”
“I see you are still concerned about that. My journey has come a long way since I left, but may not be complete yet.”
“What do you mean?”
“While a student at Cambridge, I met with a group of Wesleyan colleagues. Their discussion about the nature of Christianity illuminated my soul. It has ignited a desire that my heart can be warmed with a relationship with the Almighty, rather than confining myself to a set of rules and rituals.” He paused and hastened to add, “I now believe in the confession and church attendance. I hope that I can find the assurance that these Methodists speak of.”
Georgiana had not heard the religious experience formulated in this way before. His present confession was, however, a great improvement over his prior skepticism! She could only say, “I trust you will find all that your heart desires.”
“Thank you, my friend,” was his reply. While Thomas was called to another table, Georgiana dated the start of her affection for him from that moment. He danced with her later in the evening and she savored every minute of it; but, because of her feelings, she said very little. She had never been shy around her friend before; however, with her deepening admiration and feelings for him, she felt reticent with him for the first time.
Thomas was home for one more week and returned to Pemberley a few days after the Westbrook ball. Arriving on horseback after breakfast, he dismounted to be greeted by the Darcy women.
Elizabeth said, “What is the reason for the pleasure of your visit, Mr. Staley?”
“My purpose is to see Pemberley once more before I leave again,” as he glanced at Georgiana.
“For what cause are we to lose you this time?” Georgiana inquired anxiously, but in a warm tone of voice.
“I have friends who have procured me a commission in the army.”
Georgiana was dismayed at the thought, but tried to keep an unchanged face as she asked, “When will you leave?”
“I report in one week to Essex to begin my training. Where I shall go after that I am not allowed to say.”
Elizabeth said, “It will be a sore loss for us to see you leave Derbyshire again. Pray, Mr. Staley, will you excuse me so I may attend my children. . . . Georgiana, will you accompany Mr. Staley wherever he wishes?”
“Yes,” Georgiana replied as Elizabeth turned to the entrance hall. Georgiana smiled at Thomas and asked, “Do you want to take a turn with me in the south gardens?”
“I should be delighted,” was his response.
After a few steps, Georgiana said, “Have you seen the ah. . .ah. . . ,” and she stopped with an embarrassed silence.
“Do you mean the Harpur sisters?” he grinned.
“I am sorry, Thomas. I uttered the question without thinking. You certainly have the right to see whom you please.”
Here, he interrupted, “I am touched by your interest. No, I have not seen the Harpur sisters. I think them rather silly, if the truth be known. . . . I would rather visit you and Pemberley than anyone else in Derbyshire.”
She turned her head away. What did this mean? Was this a prelude to his declaration of love? While she longed for this expression, she did not quite feel ready for it.
After a few more steps, he said, “I am eager to start my service. If I can in any way assist our country to defeat Napoleon, I am willing to help.”
Georgiana did not quite expect the last statement and was perplexed how to turn the conversation to their relationship. She wanted to tell him how important he was, but her voice could not utter the words.
They finished walking the garden and went inside to the music room. Georgiana offered to play a song and performed with the utmost passion. She stood after finishing and she tried to say something about her feelings to Thomas. The words froze on her tongue. She was glad he had not seen her expression and questioned her--Phillip had diverted his attention by jumping into his lap.
By the time of Thomas’ departure, she tried once more, unsuccessfully, to express her feelings for him.
Indeed, she was uncertain if she understood her own metamorphosis over the past week. After he left, she was disappointed that she had not obtained a promise of writing or a knowledge of when he might return.
Her feelings for Thomas over the past three years had become wrapped in a thick cocoon of activities involving family, parish activities and her music. As she explored her memory of Thomas’ last visit, she was now uncertain whether any affection remained. She was able to cherish the brief time he had spent back in Derbyshire with satisfaction, and only occasionally fretted over the lack of expressing her love to him. She was unsure whether Thomas returned that love; but she knew he remained a faithful friend. She would have to let the situation remain as it was and hope events should resolve her feelings one way or the other in the future. As a lady in a rural setting, there were not many eligible young gentlemen available to court her. Thus, her memory of Thomas was not diverted by any competition.
At the breakfast table the next morning, with all of the Darcy family seated, Mr. Darcy said, “We have received an invitation from Lady Catherine De Bourgh to visit Rosing Park in a fortnight.”
The atmosphere in the breakfast room became somber and silent.
“Come, now, children, visiting Rosing Park is not all that bad,” said Elizabeth.
“Oh, Mamma, our great aunt is so stiff and forbidding. She always wants us to act formal,” John complained.
“Why does she want us so soon?” Georgiana inquired of her brother.
“Apparently, the new Duke of Kent is to visit Lady Catherine and she wants us to meet him. I was aware Rosing Park was to be inherited by a distant relative but I have never met him. The new Duke of Kent is apparently the heir.”
Elizabeth looked compassionately at Georgiana and said, “I am afraid she also wishes to discuss marriage, or the lack of it, with you.”
Alarmed, Georgiana said, “Surely, not with this Duke of Kent?”
“No, I do not think that is her intent. I seem to remember, though I may be incorrect, this fellow is quite old.”
Georgiana’s mind pictured a white-haired man who needed a cane to walk. The dukes she had previously met looked ancient. She caught up with her next to last feeling and exclaimed, “Why is everyone all of a sudden worried about my marital status?”
Elizabeth calmly replied, “Be assured, we are not trying to play matchmaker. Your brother and I only want what you want; but, since you are only a year away from seven and twenty, people will increasingly inquire about your marital status as, somehow, the age has been identified with spinsterhood.”
“I will ne
ver get married,” declared Georgiana emphatically. “Why should I leave the grandest estate in Derbyshire or my dear family? I do not care if I become a spinster.”
Elizabeth continued, “You are so dear to us, Georgiana. We are ambivalent about any change in your present status, since to marry would take you away from Pemberley and from our children who love you dearly.”
Georgiana wished to turn the conversation from this uncomfortable topic to one about the children and asked, “My dear brother, I believe we need to discuss the future education of my nephews and niece and not because I plan to leave Pemberley.”
“Auntie, we do not want anyone but you to teach us,” piped Maria.
“I love to teach you,” she smiled, “but, in some subjects, such as French, your brothers are beginning to exceed my knowledge.”
“Oh! You are the best music teacher in the whole world,” boasted Maria as she stretched her arms out wide.
“I will continue teaching you music,” Georgiana replied with a smile.
“We are finished with the meal,” Elizabeth said. “Children, you may be excused to go play outside.” John immediately stood and raced ahead of the others. When the children were gone, Elizabeth stood. “Shall we remove to the parlor to discuss their education?”
The three adults headed to the entrance parlor. Mr. Darcy stood by the mantel as he listened to Georgiana describe the areas in which the boys had exceeded her knowledge--particularly in mathematics and the languages in general, but French in particular.
“Then we must consider a tutor. The other option would be to send them to a private academy,” replied Mr. Darcy.
“Let us not send them to a school. Children learn dreadful manners and rudeness at such places,” Elizabeth said forcefully.
“My thoughts, exactly. I am glad to see we think alike, my dear Lizzy,” replied Mr. Darcy.
