‘I’d better say goodbye, though, as the nurse will be back to wheel me down to the nursery any minute.’
‘Okay, but you call me if you need me. I can be on a plane and there with you in a few hours. I love you, sis,’ Harriet told her.
‘Love you too, Harriet,’ Claudia replied then hung up before she had a chance to answer her sister’s final question.
‘Wait, who’s Patrick...?’
CHAPTER FIVE
‘MISS MONTICELLO, I’M Dr Wilson, the neonatologist here at Los Angeles Mercy Hospital. I need to speak with you in private for a moment.’ The doctor leant down and held out his hand and Claudia tentatively met his handshake. She had only just arrived in Neonatal ICU and had not yet seen her sons. She had no idea why he wanted to speak with her but she felt her heart pick up speed as his tone seemed quite serious. She hadn’t considered there could possibly be any bad news after yesterday. The boys both seemed perfect despite what they had all been through.
What had changed?
‘Please call me Claudia,’ she replied as she began to nervously play with her freshly scrubbed hands and continued observing the doctor suspiciously. She tried to contain her emotions and wait for the doctor to speak but questions driven by mounting fear came rushing out. ‘Are my babies going to be all right? Is there something wrong? I thought everything was fine yesterday.’ She wanted to jump from her wheelchair and find them. Her eyes darted around but she could not see the boys as their humidicribs were blocked by a tall beige partition.
‘Claudia, they are both doing very well, all things considered,’ he returned, clearly trying to calm her down.
‘What do you mean—all things considered?’
‘I mean their delivery in an elevator and the simple fact they are six weeks early. I was going to come to your room but the charge nurse said you were on your way down here so I thought I’d wait. You can see your boys the moment we’ve finished speaking. I didn’t want you to be anxious in the elevator.’ The neonatologist, in his late fifties, had a warm smile; his hair, which was grey around the temples, and his deep brown eyes reminded Claudia of her father. Although the doctor’s very contained demeanour was not like her father’s passionate, gregarious Italian personality. He was controlled and that was reassuring to Claudia but she was still scared.
‘Tell me, is there something wrong?’ Her eyes widened as she spoke. While he had said nothing dire nor even hinted at it, Claudia had a sense of foreboding but she was trying very hard not to fall to pieces.
‘There’s been a small setback with Luca and I would like to talk to you about his treatment.’
Claudia’s chin began to quiver with the words coming so calmly from the neonatologist’s mouth. She had just been wheeled from the scrub room where Alli had helped her to put on a disposable gown over her pyjamas and suddenly she was being ushered into a small consulting room. She had been so excited to see her boys. She hadn’t thought for a moment she would hear bad news. She’d had enough, she felt sure, to last a lifetime.
‘I can take Claudia from here if you’d like,’ he told Alli and reached for the handles of the wheelchair. ‘I’ll call the nurses’ station when she’s ready to go back to her room,’
‘Certainly Dr Wilson; I’ll come back whenever Claudia’s ready,’ Alli said gently and reassuringly patted Claudia’s shoulder. ‘You’ll be fine, honey. Just breathe slowly and stay calm.’
Dr Wilson wheeled Claudia into the small office and sat opposite her. His expression was stern.
‘How serious is it? I need to know.’ Claudia felt her stomach tie in knots and it was nothing to do with her surgery.
‘Luca had a few breathing problems yesterday and that is why he was in the open bed warmer so that we could provide oxygen through an oxy-hood, or head box as we often call it. It’s a small perspex box that allows babies to breathe more easily, but Luca didn’t improve overnight. In fact he seemed to be struggling so I suspected a condition called PDA. It’s short for a longer medical term, and I can give you more information later. I ordered an echocardiogram an hour ago to confirm my diagnosis...’
‘What’s an echocardiogram? Did it hurt him?’ Despite her resolve to remain in control, tears began to well in her eyes but the questions kept coming. ‘Where is Luca?’
‘Luca is fine at the moment, Claudia,’ the doctor continued in a firm but calm tone. ‘The echocardiogram didn’t hurt because it’s much like an X-ray. Luca and Thomas are over there, where they both were yesterday.’ He motioned with his hand in the direction her sons. ‘The humidicrib with Thomas is beside Luca’s open bed warmer and they have one nurse looking after them both. The setback at this time, Miss Monticello...I’m sorry... Claudia,’ he corrected himself, ‘has been confirmed by the echocardiogram and, while it’s not serious and more than likely just due to his premature arrival, we need to keep an eye on Luca and you need to be aware of his condition.’
‘Will Thomas develop the condition too?’
‘No. There’s no sign of PDA with Thomas. We’re just monitoring Luca around this issue.’
‘And what exactly is the problem, Dr Wilson?’
‘He has an opening between two major blood vessels leading from his heart.’
‘Oh, my God, no.’ Claudia’s hands instinctively covered her mouth. She didn’t want to cry but the news brought her to the brink.
It was all too much. She’d thought bringing her babies into the world under such harsh conditions was terrifying but this was so much worse. She felt so helpless.
‘Claudia, I know you must be very scared by what I’m telling you but that is why I asked you in here to talk,’ the doctor continued in a very soothing tone. ‘All parents have that initial reaction—it’s perfectly normal—but you need to understand a little more about Luca’s problem and the treatment options. The opening between the blood vessels I’m discussing is a normal part of a baby’s circulatory system before birth but it normally closes shortly after birth. While a baby is in the mother’s womb, only a small amount of his or her blood needs to go to the lungs. This is because the baby gets oxygen from the mother’s bloodstream.’
‘So why did Luca’s not close?’
‘It is probably due purely to his prematurity. You see, after birth, the baby is no longer connected to the mother’s bloodstream and the baby’s blood needs to go to his or her own lungs to get oxygen. When a baby is born on or around their due date the baby begins to breathe on his or her own and the pulmonary artery opens to allow blood into the lungs, and the other opening closes. But in premature infants it is not uncommon for it to remain open and a small PDA often doesn’t cause problems.’
‘Does Luca have a small PDA or a big one?’
‘We don’t know yet but if it’s small then he may never need treatment.’
‘But if it isn’t small, what then?’
‘A large PDA left untreated can allow poorly oxygenated blood to travel in the wrong direction, weakening the heart muscle and causing heart problems.’
Claudia’s world just became a little darker and her own heart sank. ‘Will he need surgery?’ She felt increasingly powerless to do anything as she waited on tenterhooks for the answer.
‘Not at this stage. His treatment for the time being will involve monitoring and medication.’
Her mind was spinning and her body reeling from the news about her baby boy. She felt so overwhelmed and unsure of where to turn. Then she realised there was nowhere to turn. She only had herself. And her little boys only had their mother. She drew a deep restorative breath and faced the doctor. She had to be strong for the three of them.
‘What sort of medication?’ she asked, shaking her head.
Before the doctor could respond, there was a knock at the door.
She looked over her shoulder to see Patrick standing in the doorway wit
h the same expression she remembered from the day before. The expression that told her she would get through whatever lay ahead when she had no idea how. Her brow was lined in confusion and a single tear of relief trickled down her cheek. Quickly she wiped it away with the back of her hand.
‘Claudia, I came as soon as I could,’ he began as he stepped inside the room. And closer to her.
‘But I didn’t call.’
‘No, I asked the hospital to keep me posted about the boys as I was listed as the doctor who delivered them. It was professional courtesy for them to keep me updated. I called late last night and asked to be informed if there were any problems with either Thomas or Luca. I knew, with their premature births, there may be issues and I wanted to be here for them.’
What Patrick wanted to say was he wasn’t just there for Thomas and Luca. He wanted to be there for her. But he couldn’t bring himself to say it. He felt certain she wouldn’t want to hear it and he didn’t want to say it and believe it. Having feelings for someone—wanting to be a part of Claudia and the boy’s lives—was so foreign to him.
He had collapsed onto his bed after a long hot shower the previous night. After returning from the hospital, he had tried to put Claudia out of his mind. He’d hoped as the steaming water engulfed his body he would come to his senses. But he didn’t. Her gorgeous face, her feisty nature and her strength in the face of pain that would have crippled the strongest of men, kept pulling his thoughts back to her. And then there was her instant love for her boys. All of it made it impossible for Patrick to push her image away. He couldn’t erase her from his thoughts. He had spent hours trying but failed and gave in to what he knew he wanted to do. Against his better judgement, he wanted to be there for them all if they needed him.
Claudia felt relieved to have Patrick so close but so torn at needing him. She was confused. She said nothing as she looked at him. There was nothing in her head that would have made any sense if she’d tried to speak.
Patrick turned his attention to the doctor. ‘Dr Wilson, I’m Patrick Spencer. We spoke on the phone earlier.’
The doctor stood and extended his hand to greet Patrick and, in doing so, broke the tension between Claudia and Patrick.
‘Nice to meet you in person. Please call me Geoffrey. And I must commend you in person for your medical intervention in the elevator. You wouldn’t want to do all your deliveries that way, I’m sure.’
‘No, an elevator delivery is not something I would’ve willingly opted for,’ he responded with a lightness to his voice. He met the other doctor’s handshake but gave away nothing more. Patrick’s current medical specialty bore no relevance in the neonatal nursery. He had been honest with the obstetric surgeon when asked directly the day before, but offering up information not requested was pointless. His former medical knowledge was still very much intact, even if his career with babies was long gone.
Claudia watched the men’s conversational banter with a blank expression on her face. Her emotions were a roller coaster but she still had questions about her boys that were clear-cut. Even if anything to do with her own heart and head was not close to straightforward.
‘You mention drugs, Dr Wilson. What drugs are you talking about for Luca? Do they have any side effects?’
The doctor immediately returned his focus to Claudia. ‘Ibuprofen will be the drug that will be given to Luca. It’s an anti-inflammatory that could help to block the hormone-like chemicals in Luca’s body that are keeping the PDA open. Ibuprofen could very simply allow it to close in a very short space of time.’
‘Is this condition common?’ Her voice was steadier and she felt as if her co-pilot had returned and was standing beside her. Still hugely confused by her own feelings, she was slowly digesting the idea that together they would navigate a problem that only moments ago she’d found overwhelming.
‘It occurs in about eight in every thousand premature births but most correct themselves in a very short time frame and some in only a few hours.’
‘So Luca will be all right?’ she asked with her eyes still searching for reassurance, moving from Patrick to Dr Wilson and back again.
‘I am fairly sure that over the next day or so the condition will correct itself,’ Dr Wilson offered. ‘But you still needed to be informed. I don’t like to hide anything.’ Claudia felt reassured to hear those words. She didn’t want anything to be hidden from her ever again.
‘And you agree, Patrick?’
He nodded. ‘I do.’
Patrick’s eyes met hers. The level of vulnerability in Claudia’s eyes made him want to pull her into his arms and comfort her but he couldn’t. He was providing medical advice. He had to behave as a medical practitioner and refrain from doing what he wanted to do as a man.
‘I don’t think we should cross a bridge that hasn’t presented itself,’ he volunteered from his professional viewpoint. ‘Luca has a high chance of avoiding any invasive treatment so let’s not overthink the situation.’
‘Then I won’t worry any more.’
Patrick sensed from the doctor’s curious expression that he was trying to read the relationship playing out before him; he opened his mouth to speak but Patrick cut in quickly. ‘Have you visited with Thomas and Luca today, Claudia?’
‘No.’
‘Then, Dr Wilson, now Claudia is fully versed with Luca’s condition, may I wheel her over to see her babies?’
‘Certainly,’ the older doctor replied before he could ask anything else. Together they left the small room, with Dr Wilson showing the way and Patrick pushing Claudia’s wheelchair. Patrick glanced down to see Claudia still fidgeting with her fingers and suddenly felt very protective. She lifted her face and smiled at him and a warm feeling rushed through his body.
It was as if he was where he needed to be and where he belonged and he hadn’t felt that way in a very long time.
He pulled Claudia’s wheelchair between the humidicrib and the open bed and then sat down beside her. The neonatologist tended to some new arrivals to the nursery and left them with the neonatal nurse.
‘They both look almost red, and I can see their veins...I didn’t notice it yesterday.’
‘You didn’t notice because you were so happy to see them alive and you were lucky to be alive yourself. I don’t think you were up to focusing on the details.’
‘But is it normal?’
‘Yes, premature babies appear to be red as well as much smaller than you had imagined. You can see all the blood vessels through their skin because there hasn’t been sufficient time to develop any fat underneath.’
‘There are so many wires attached to them. Will I be able to hold them?’ Claudia asked as the desire to have them both in her arms was stronger than any need she had ever felt before.
The nurse approached and shook her head. ‘Not yet, but you can certainly stroke them both and that is important. They need to feel their mother’s touch. While Thomas and Luca aren’t the smallest babies in here, we still need to allow them to remain in temperatures stable enough to keep them both warm without needing to be wrapped up in blankets.’
‘It also decreases the risk of an infection,’ Patrick added as his eyes panned from one baby to the other. ‘The humidity in the crib is controlled to help maintain the baby’s hydration and prevent water loss. And Luca on his open bed is wearing a cap to help limit the heat loss.’
Claudia gently stroked Luca’s tiny arm and prayed that Patrick was right and the problem with his heart would pass in time.
‘Patrick,’ she began, ‘I know you said not to cross a bridge that isn’t in front of me, but I can’t put blinkers on and pretend there’s no chance of something serious. I need to ask just one question and I want you to be completely honest with me.’
Patrick had a million questions for Claudia but he knew she might not stay in town long enough for all of t
hem to be answered. He accepted the simple reality that whatever time they shared in the next few days might be all they would ever have.
Their lives had collided and they had both shared the most precious and intense experience. But it was not the real world and it would all end soon enough. And one burning question in particular still resonated in the back of his mind. Where was the man who should be by Claudia’s side?
He pushed that thought away and took a deep breath. ‘Certainly—what’s your question?’
Claudia looked over at Thomas inside his glass humidicrib and then back to tiny Luca. The question erred on the side of the worst-case scenario, which she didn’t want to think about. But she needed to know and, if she had to, she wanted to hear the worst from Patrick. ‘Can they guarantee the ibuprofen will work?’
Patrick paused, wishing he could tell her there was a written in stone guarantee but there was no such guarantee. ‘No, to be honest, the medications aren’t one hundred percent effective and if Luca’s condition is severe or causing complications surgery might be needed, but that is not something you have to consider now. Luca’s doctor seems very hopeful that the drugs will work.’
‘But if they don’t?’
‘Claudia,’ he said, taking her hands in his instinctively and, against his better judgement, he looked at the tears welling in her eyes. She wasn’t looking at him any more. She was lovingly watching her tiny son but he noticed she didn’t flinch or pull away and left her hands in his. He hated admitting it but there were undeniable sparks as her skin touched his. She was lighting a fire inside him where he’d thought there were only cold embers incapable of feeling any warmth ever again. ‘Like I told you before, let’s not worry about something over which we have no control. If surgery is needed we’ll deal with it then but now is about remaining positive and optimistic about your boys and getting yourself well too.’
Claudia turned her gaze back to Patrick and then to his hands protectively holding hers. Who was this man who kept saving her? she wondered. Should she let him get close to her? He appeared to be so upfront and honest and caring but she still needed to protect her herself from further disappointment. He’d only come into her life twenty-four hours before and she really knew very little about him. There were so many unasked questions. Maybe he wasn’t hiding anything but he wasn’t overly forthcoming either and that worried her.
Twin Surprise for the Single Doc Page 7
