by S. K Munt
‘And Ardhi has a right for me to be weeping for him endlessly-not to rue his death when I see how his life could have benefited me.’ Ivyanne put down the photos and sank her head into her hands. ‘God I really hate myself these days. I don’t know what’s going through my head anymore. Six months ago, Ardhi’s death would have slayed me. But I wept more for Nigara, who I didn’t even know.’
‘You’re dealing with a lot and between you and I….you’ve under-reacted to a lot of things lately. The Ivyanne I know would be so terrified of being pregnant that she’d be locked in her room. She’d be so scared of her father that she’d be calling him to apologize ten times a day. She’d be so mad at Tristan that she’d have sent him packing two weeks ago, and she’d be on the Kayu-Api’s door, begging forgiveness.’
Ivyanne snorted a joyless laugh and looked at her mother. ‘So you agree that I’ve become heartless?’
But her mother smiled sadly. ‘No-I’m saying that I think you’re in shock.’ She reached out and tucked Ivyanne’s hair behind her ear. ‘You’re such an emotional girl-there’s no way that you’re dealing with this as well as you appear to be. I’m terrified that some tiny incident is going to set you off, and I’ll have a basket case on my hands.’
Ivyanne thought it over, scanning her emotions for a possible lava pit waiting to bubble over. But all she felt was...indifference. An eerie calm, like she was observing what her life had become instead of participating in it. ‘Hmmm…’
‘But I pray that I’m wrong. You’ll be queen some day-and a little heartlessness would be beneficial to you.’
Ivyanne saw her mother’s point, and yet knowing that her inner reflection could have altered so was unsettling. ‘I can see why people find peace by acting evil. What I’d give to be indifferent to Tristan and Link, so I could just turn around and choose the best man for the job as opposed to agonizing over everyone’s damn feelings. Especially mine.’ Tristan’s face popped into her mind and she sighed. She didn’t doubt that as far as kings went, he’d make an incredible one. Everything he touched turn to gold.
But Lincoln had a grip on her heart-and with every day he spent in her life, the vice was tightening. Besides, her being with Lincoln had clearly been Ardhi’s last wish. Her best friend had given his life, broken his own heart-to heal hers. Could she walk away from that?
‘Then life would hold no joy at all. It’s better to have a broken heart, than to never have used it.’
Ivyanne picked up her water glass again and had another sip, wishing that the subject had never been raised. She didn’t want to talk about the men in her life-she didn’t even want to think about them until it was absolutely required. But now that she’d thought of Lincoln, she was imagining him at work, without her, and her insides clenched, an attempt to squeeze down on the ache of loneliness rapidly developing there. Did he miss her too? Or was he too distracted by showing the new girl the ropes, to notice her absence?
The sound of footsteps descending the stairs brought Ivyanne back to the present. Tristan. She brought her water glass to her lips, staring at it, terrified to see the anger on his face.
‘Look Sven if you’re right, and Absalom have come into this green energy grant, then we needed to have pounced on this yesterday...’ Tristan was using his professional tone of voice. It was so different to his regular one. Ivyanne had heard him on the phone for business purposes a few times that week, and she had to admit that it was pretty hot. When he was talking business, she knew she was temporarily off his radar, and that was intriguing for some strange reason. ‘Draw up a proposal tonight before you leave the office, and e-mail it to me. I’ll have a read when I land, and we can discuss it in the morning.’
Ivyanne looked up, and her heart began to thrum giddily when she laid eyes on him. For almost three weeks, she’d been accustomed to seeing Tristan getting around either shirtless, or in casual beach gear. He was damn fine to look at regardless of what he was wearing (or not wearing) and had improved the view significantly.
But now he was dressed as the CEO he was in straight black slacks, a long sleeve black collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a pale golden tie which offset his cropped curls. He looked downright edible. Professional, commanding and controlling. The clenching inside her dropped much lower, finding muscles she knew couldn’t be squeezed tight enough to soothe the ache.
‘Yeah, six a.m is fine. We can go down to Bondi at lunch.’ He paused, still not looking up or gracing her with the appreciative smile he usually stunned her with when he entered the room. Then, he grinned in response to something Sven had said, and Ivyanne’s heart rate accelerated.
‘I know I don’t usually need to, but I’ve been living the beach life for almost a month now-it’s going to take ages to get back some stamina.’
Oh bloody hell. Ivyanne thought, absently putting her water glass down. That’s the shirt he was wearing the day we-
The sound of glass shattering broke her train of thought. Tristan and Vana’s heads shot up to look at her and Ivyanne cringed, glancing to her side to see where her glass had exploded into a million fragments on the polished wood floor. She’d been so bedazzled by Tristan’s glory that she’d missed the tabletop! Mortification heated her face.
‘Oh! Don’t move!’ Her mother was up within two seconds. ‘I’ll get the broom.’
Tristan covered the phone in his hand and finally looked at her, questioningly. She was many things-but a klutz wasn’t one of them. ‘You okay kiddo?’
Ivyanne looked up at him and swallowed. No. She wasn’t. Not even close.
4.
Tristan watched Ivyanne’s face turn a deep shade of red as her mother fussed around her ankles with a blue dustpan and brush. She was embarrassed? To have dropped a glass? How bizarre!
‘You still there man?’ Sven asked in his ear.
‘Yeah.’ Tristan said. ‘I have to say good-bye to the royal damsels now though, so I’ll leave you and see you in the morning.’
‘Okay man, bye. Looking forward to having you back!’
‘Wish I could say ‘likewise’.’ Tristan ended the call and pushed the phone into the pocket of his trousers, glancing down at the images in front of Ivyanne, needing some random subject to break the ice between them. He was still hurt and angry, but a swim had taken the edge off his pain, and he didn’t want to leave her alone with Link for three days, without softening the cracked earth between them a little first. ‘Coral bleaching?’
‘Yeah….’ Ivyanne’s voice was soft. ‘We need to organize damage control in a few areas.’
‘Let me know where and when then.’
‘Oh no.’ Vana waved her hand, uncurling herself from under the table with a dustpan full of broken glass shards. ‘You’re far too busy.’
‘Show me a mer who’s too busy to heal his environment, and I’ll show you a mer who needs a kick up the tail.’
‘I’ll get you another water.’ Vana said to Ivyanne, clearly as an excuse to leave them alone, and he was grateful for it. It made him feel slightly better about her threat from earlier that day.
‘Thanks mum.’ Ivyanne said softly, then lifted her face to his. Her green eyes were conflicted. ‘It’ll probably be next week, after you go away again, during the night.’ She swallowed. ‘That is, if you still plan on returning between projects.’
Tristan opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Not return to her? The idea was unthinkable, especially while there was still a chance that she was pregnant to him! How could she think he’d write her off, after one quarrel? But before he could explain that they weren’t twelve, his phone buzzed again and he sighed, pulling it out.
‘Hello?’
‘Hey little man.’
Tristan smiled, and felt it all over. ‘Uncle Gar! What’s going on?’
The sound of another glass breaking superseded Garridan’s response. Tristan whirled, as Ivyanne did, staring at Vana, who was standing by an open kitchen cabinet, gazing down at her feet in surpris
e.
‘Mum?’ Ivyanne scurried out from under the table. ‘You didn’t?!’
‘What the..?’ Tristan frowned. ‘Sorry Gar, can I call you back in about half an hour? These Court women are apparently suffering from a severe case of butter fingers tonight.’
Vana looked up at him, her expression dazed.
There was silence for a moment. ‘You’re with the Courts? Still? But I thought...I mean, I was calling to-’
‘It’s a long ass story.’ Tristan said, lowering his voice. ‘But yeah, I’m with Ivyanne and Vana, but I need to board a flight soon, so I have to rush off-and apparently, fetch some glasses of water first before someone kills themselves.’
‘I’m fine.’ Vana dropped to her own knees, disappearing from sight. ‘Just...maybe they weren’t rinsed properly or something…’
‘Okay. Yeah, I’ll talk to you soon then.’ Garridan said softly.
‘Great. Any messages for our beautiful rulers in the meantime?’
Ivyanne looked over, smiling quickly, then turned away.
‘Um..sure.’ His uncle replied, sounding more ancient over the bad connection then he really was. ‘Tell Vana I said hello, and…. I hope she’s well.’
‘Will do. Talk soon.’
‘Bye.’
Tristan tucked his phone away a second time. ‘I’d like to help you clean up, ladies, but I have a flight to make. Ivyanne-’ he paused. ‘My rubber zodiac is on the beach. Can you give me a push out, so my suit doesn’t get wet? I’ll return my boat to the marina tonight. It’ll be safer there.’
‘Sure.’ Ivyanne stepped away from her mother, smoothing the front of her adorable shorts self-consciously as she approached. ‘I’ll be back in ten, mum.’
Ten? Tristan thought, delighted that she hadn’t said two. That’s something, I suppose.
‘Okay.’ Vana stood up, her eyes loaded with unspoken words. ‘I’ll see you in a few days.’ She said firmly. ‘Take care, Tristan. And thank you for everything.’
Tristan nodded curtly to her as Ivyanne stepped by him and opened the door. ‘And to you. Garridan Loveridge passes along his best wishes, by the way.’
Vana’s lips pressed together in a tight smile. ‘Return it when you speak to him.’
Ivyanne led him out onto the porch and down onto the beach, but stopped well before reaching the shore. She looked up at him in the darkness, and moonlight bathed her in its milky glow. Waning moonlight. The new moon would come soon and then, everything would change again. Tristan’s heart scampered at the thought, and he couldn’t help but glance down at her abdomen, checking it for any sign of swelling. But it was as flat and hard as always. His spirits sank, even though he wasn’t certain that pregnancy was what he prayed for. He’d rather earn her, than trap her.
‘I meant every word I said today, and if it made you feel even slightly guilty, then I’m glad.’ Tristan said, placing his briefcase on the sand. ‘It’s about time you felt something towards me, other than regret.’
Ivyanne looked heavenwards and ran her hands down exposed neck as she let out a long sigh, her exasperation and resignation clear. ‘Regret?’ She lowered her gaze. ‘I regret nothing, Tristan. Which is precisely why I over compensate with Lincoln. Well, it’s one of the reasons why-certainly not the only.’
Tristan touched his fingers to her shoulder, letting them drift down to her elbow tentatively. She was so lovely, and her words didn’t require much clarification-the look in her eyes did that for her.
‘Then why have you been working so hard to shut me out? Why do you swim with him every day, and have yet to get into the water at the same time as me? Do you know how that stings? This was our world, before he was in it. We should know it together, at least once.’
‘Because Lincoln has needed my guidance, Tristan, and you two can’t be together for more than five minutes without tugging at me like I’m some wishbone on Christmas Day. If I swum with both of you, I’d never get anything else done!’
‘Wish bone.’ He winked at her. ‘Kind of accurate description, you know.’
She shoved him gently. ‘The sweet things you say…’
Tristan smiled, but then it faltered. He wasn’t going to pun his way out of the conversation, or allow her to flirt their problems away.
‘Okay so you don’t want to be submerged all day, I get that…but surely, you could have palmed him off to Saraya at least once, to join me. But you didn’t….’
‘No. I didn’t.’ Ivyanne met his gaze directly. ‘And I won’t be...not alone. And not with mum.’
‘Because it would hurt Link’s feelings if the three of us swum off like one big happy family?’ He guessed.
Ivyanne nodded. ‘In that instance yes, but as for the alone thing….’ She looked away. ‘It’s not a good idea. Not in light of what happened the last time we were left to our own devices. If it happened once, and overrode my judgement like that, it could happen again.’
A current began to hum lightly around his heart and when he reached out to touch her cheek, the feeling shot to his fingertips. Her lips parted on an inhalation, and she closed her eyes for the briefest of moments. Her moonlit profile made everything inside him tremble in reverence, and her suggestion was resonating strongly below his belt buckle as well.
‘You’re afraid that swimming with me alone, will result in me fucking your brains out again?’ He asked, his voice rough.
Ivyanne turned to him, her eyes alight with wicked intent. ‘Of course, you idiot.’ She stepped into him, taking his face in her hands. ‘The fact that you didn’t assume that before all else makes me question that supreme intellect of yours.’ She leaned into him, closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply. When her eyes fluttered open, the look within them made him instantly hard.
‘We’ve been alone for two seconds, and I’m imagining your tongue in my mouth. It’s not polite, appropriate conduct for a princess who’s already shamed the family jewels, it’s not fair on Lincoln, and it’s not easy to brush aside-so I avoid it, by avoiding you.’ To punctuate this, she pushed off him and stepped back, clutching at the back of her intricate braids as though grasping something solid would help her deal with whatever she was dealing with. ‘I don’t trust myself alone with you. And for good reason. Not because I don’t want you Tristan, but because I want you too much.’
Tristan couldn’t have hoped for a better admission. It rendered him breathless. ‘If you mean what you say, and you’re that attracted to me…then why is he an option at all?’
Ivyanne’s face clouded. ‘Because even though I stare at you all day Tristan, and fantasize about making love to you...he comes to me in my dreams-and it never goes beyond a kiss.’ She bit her lip. ‘It never has to.’
Tristan’s stomach clenched. ‘What am I supposed to make of that?’ He demanded, anger sweeping over him.
Ivyanne shrugged. ‘When you figure it out, let me know.’
Tristan inched towards her. ‘I’ve figured it out. It’s you I’m waiting on! You have to stop feeling like your past is an obligation Ivyanne. You have to stop fighting what draws you to me-and show me some damn loyalty for what we’ve been through together.’ He scowled. ‘You defend him, but never me! He gets digs in too, you know. They might not be as crowd pleasing as my own, but the intention is the same.’
‘I know that.’ Ivyanne snapped. ‘But I’m not going to fight your battles for you. I’m tired, Tristan. Lincoln needs to me to buffer his feelings, he always has-he’s emotional, and easily offended. But you-’
‘Heartless, right?’ He guessed.
‘No.’ She stepped towards him, eyes shining. ‘Funny. Quick-witted. Confident, and astute. When you take a shot at Lincoln, I feel for the poor guy. It’s heavy versus bantam. But when he gets his own back, and you just smile that arrogant, self righteous smile of yours, it makes me want to-’
‘Slap me?’ He demanded.
She yanked on his tie, pulling him closer. ‘Fall.’ She her words were breathy. ‘To my knees.’
Tristan’s arms wound around her, pulling her close, needing the pressure of her sumptuous body pressing against every part she was making ache. ‘Dammit, Ivyanne-’ his fingers dug into her shoulders, running down until they met the clingy fabric across the back of her ribs. He could tear it, so easily...
‘You can’t lose that.’ She said in earnest. ‘You can’t fall apart like you did today, because you’re the one I’m counting on to stay in one piece, despite the horrible things I’m doing ’
‘Then lean on me,’ he whispered. ‘Take a chance, my love, and I will prove that my kisses can conquer your dreams like the rest of me undid the rest of you…’ his fingers cupped her backside and jerked her hips against his with it. The feel of the soft underside of her ass had him pulsating. ‘Kiss me. Now.’
‘You know I can’t,’ she said in a small voice, ‘not yet.’
‘Then owe me one.’ Tristan ran his hands up her back, needing skin-to skin contact. ‘If you won’t kiss me, then you owe me something else as compensation for your ignorance.’
She blinked. ‘Such as…?’
He shrugged. ‘When I come back, I get to ask a favor, and you have to do it, no matter what. Not out of kindness, and not taking his feelings into consideration-just for me. To prove that you’re trying.’
She narrowed her eyes. ‘Not in the physical sense thought, right?’
He chuckled. ‘No. Though if it goes there, I won’t exactly fight you off.’ He released her, holding up a finger. ‘One good turn. Do you promise?’
Ivyanne seemed to think it over, but then she nodded. ‘Okay. I’ll owe you one Loveridge. Whatever it is.’
He grinned, feeling cheered. He’d have to think of something dynamite. ‘Then I’ll go, without praying for Lincoln’s demise.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘Thanks.’
‘I should thank him myself.’ The voice was so sharp it seemed to slice through the night.
Ivyanne rotated in Tristan’s arms as he did, inhaling sharply to see Lincoln’s tall shadow silhouetted against the silver-threaded ocean. Behind him, Saraya and Lux were standing waist deep in water, holding Vana’s boat steady, the whites of their wide eyes obvious despite the darkness. How on earth had they gotten so close without Tristan having heard the engine?
