by Sam Crescent
“This girl of yours sounds awesome.”
“She totally was. You should meet her. She was fearless.”
Tabitha sighed. “We were different back then. Kids. We didn’t know how the world worked.”
“We did, Tabby. We knew what we were getting into. Our parents always thought we were kids, but that is so not true. We were more than that. We were fearless.” Simon took hold of her hand, and she let him, not wanting to fight. “It’s the way we will always be. We’re the ones in control. No one else.” He brought her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles. She remembered what happened the last time he kissed her like this. How sweet, and then of course the sex.
The sex was better than any other time.
Pulling her hand away, she clasped it with her other, trying to keep herself in check. It wasn’t good for her to allow her mind to wander. She needed to be in control.
“It’s going to be okay, you know? Nathan loves you and he’s going to adore me. I swear it.”
She nodded but didn’t say a word.
This was the longest she’d been away from her son, ever.
Simon turned on the radio to some tune she didn’t know. The music filled the silence, and she was able to not worry. Listening to the words, she tried not to think about her son, about Simon. What if Nathan adored Simon but in time, he couldn’t stand to look at him?
So many problems she didn’t want to face.
The time for her to decide if she’d allow Simon to see him faded as they pulled up at Lexie and Devil’s house. The front door opened and there stood Devil.
It was cold, but he only wore a pair of pants, his arms folded.
After opening the door, she climbed out and walked toward the house.
“Is he here?” Tabitha asked.
“He is.” Devil embraced her in a hug. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Really.”
“If you want me to keep him out of the house, I will,” Devil said. “He already took you without your permission. You get to decide when he meets Nathan.”
She glanced back, seeing a scowl on Simon’s face.
He would fight his father if he had to.
Not today.
She wasn’t going to get between family, nor was she going to allow this to happen.
“No, it’s fine. I want Simon to meet him. It’ll be good for the both of them.” She hoped.
Brushing past Devil, she stepped into the house and smiled as her name was called.
“Mommy!”
So it wasn’t her actual name, but she bent down as Nathan came barreling toward her, throwing himself into her arms.
“I missed you so much, but Grandpa Devil and Grandma Lexie showed me how to ride a bike.”
“They did?” She looked up to see Lexie smiling.
“Not a bike with an engine. A normal bicycle.”
“I’m good, Mommy. At first, I kept falling down and then I didn’t stop. No, I didn’t. I kept on going. I knew my mommy would want to see. Do you want to see? Do you?”
She laughed. “Of course I do. It’s so awesome you can ride a bike. I guess that’s what you’re asking Santa for this year?”
His eyes went wide. “I could. Couldn’t I?”
Pulling him in close, she pressed her nose against his neck. Damn, she’d missed him so much.
Simon cleared his throat and she glanced behind him.
Fuck!
How could she introduce him?
Did he want to see the answer to the test that was still back in Fort Wills?
She hadn’t exactly thought this one through.
Not even a little bit.
Fuck. Shit. Fuck.
“Er, actually, before you show me just how amazing you are on your bike, there is someone I would like you to meet.”
“Is it Santa?”
“No, bud, it’s not Santa,” Simon said, moving close.
Lexie gasped and Tabitha turned toward her to see tears in her eyes.
Simon crouched down so he was on a level with Nathan. “I’m a friend of your mom’s,” Simon said. “And Nathan, buddy, I’m your daddy.”
Nathan cried out. “You’re my daddy! Mommy, it’s Daddy.”
Tabitha smiled but the tears and the pain were still there. Was she doing the right thing? Would Simon resent her for this? Neither of them knew the truth.
She kept on smiling, keeping up her façade.
Nathan held Simon close and she watched the two of them. They were always going to have kids, but Simon had wanted to complete his prospect status first to become a fully patched-in member.
This hadn’t gone to plan. None of their life had gone the way they wanted.
She held her shit together.
Nathan grabbed Simon’s hand and tugged him outside. She laughed, following behind them as he was determined to show his skills.
They stood at the edge of the driveway. Nathan walked up to the top of the street. She kept him in sight as Lexie threw herself at Simon, hugging him close.
“I want to kill you and kiss you,” Lexie said.
Tabitha understood completely. She was in the same mind most of the time.
Arms folded, she kept an eye on her son.
“It’s fine, Mom, really.”
“No, it’s not fine. You didn’t call. You didn’t allow us to know you were okay.”
“Dad kept an eye on me. You should know that.”
“Yeah, but it’s not the same thing and you damn well know it,” Lexie said. “You’re not going anywhere?”
“No, I’m here to stay.”
Tabitha jumped as Simon put his hand on her waist. His body pressing against her back.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m standing with my wife, and we’re watching our son.”
“You don’t have to do this. I know this must be difficult for you.”
He chuckled. “None of this is difficult for me. I knew this day was going to come eventually. I’d hoped that it wouldn’t be so soon. I’m a selfish prick, Tabby. You know this. I want to keep you to myself, always. That is never, ever going to change.”
She kept her hands folded but sank a little closer to him, desperate for him. She did love him.
When he’d left, a part of her had died and only now, with him close, did she feel herself being awakened again. They were soul mates. She’d always known the truth. They were indeed meant to be together. There wasn’t a time in her life when it wasn’t Simon and Tabitha, and she had a twin.
Sure, there were times it was Miles and Tabitha, but everyone always thought of Simon. Not her brother.
“Can you see me, Mommy?” Nathan asked.
“I can. Come on, sweetheart!” She cupped her hands over her mouth, watched, and waited.
He started off a little slow at first. Wobbly.
“You’re sure he can do this?” Tabitha asked.
“He’s been doing it for days,” Devil said.
Lexie chuckled. “One day he refused to come in for dinner until he’d learned. He’s such a smart kid.”
Tabitha watched. The first few feet, he wobbled and she tensed, ready to sprint toward him. He didn’t give up. She cheered for him, clapping her hands as he rode all the way to their backyard, pressing on the brake to stop.
“That was so amazing.” She rushed to his side, pulling him off the bike and spinning him in the air.
Simon was there. Lifting him up and catching him. Nathan loved it. She did as well. She wanted to freeze the moment. This was perfect and every time she’d known perfection, something happened to shatter it apart.
****
Later that night, after putting Nathan to bed by reading to him, Simon looked at Tabby’s yawning face. “I’m going to call it a night,” she said.
“I’ll be up in a minute.” He stroked her cheek and she leaned into his hand.
“Thank you for today.”
“Nathan’s a great kid. I want to get to know him.”
“He
really is. He’s smart and fearless, but he does cry at times. I want you to get to know him too.”
Cupping her face with both of his hands, he stared into her eyes. “I want you to understand that I don’t care what documents say. He’s mine. He will always be mine. I’m going to be his dad, your husband.”
“But—”
“No, buts. That’s how it’s going to be. Me and you against the world, right?”
“You won’t resent me?”
“No, hell, no. There’s nothing to resent. No reason for me to.” He brushed his lips across hers. “What I do need to do is go and see my parents.” Dinner had been an interesting affair, surrounded by his brothers and sister. There had also been some awkwardness, which he’d never experienced before at his family’s table.
He watched Tabby go into their room. Squaring his shoulders, he made his way downstairs, prepared to face the music. His parents sat at the dining room table. His father drank some whiskey while his mom looked to have a hot chocolate.
“It looks like we were all thinking the same thing,” he said, going to a chair, pulling it out, and sitting his ass down.
“You knew this was going to happen.”
“Are you kicking me out of the house?” he asked, looking between the two.
Lexie frowned. “Where the hell did that come from?”
“I don’t know. I just figured that’s what you were going to say. Look at how dinner went tonight.” He laughed. “The only people keeping the conversation running were Elizabeth and Josh. Believe me, their conversation wasn’t thrilling as kids, nor is it now.”
“You’ve been gone a long time, son. People don’t know what to expect. They’ve heard the rumors about you. You scare them.”
“You’re going to have to clue me in on the rumors. I’m still me,” he said.
“You’re not, honey,” Lexie said. “Even I can see that. You’re hardened by life. There was a time you’d have laughed at some of their bickering or joined in. Tonight you looked like you wanted to kill them with your fork.”
Simon ran his fingers through his hair. “I’ve changed, I get that. I’m still me, and all those years ago, I still wanted to kill them with my fork. I just covered it up.” He pressed his hands flat against the table. “I’m … I have a lot of shit going on and I have no right to complain. I’m not going to complain. I left Tabby and she raised our son all on her own.”
He looked toward his dad. “Why didn’t you ever tell me? Why did I have to find out from her five years after the fact? You told me you knew where I was. Why didn’t you come and get me?”
Devil poured himself another shot of whiskey and knocked it back. “Do you think you were in a position of being all that she needs? Raising a kid isn’t just today, cheering on their success. It’s coping with everything. You were hardly keeping your shit together.”
“I would have done that for Tabby.”
“And you’d have fucked it up big time. I made a judgment call. It wasn’t a pretty one, but I made it. You weren’t ready to know what happened to Tabby. The shit she had to put up with. The pregnancy was already stressful enough. The Monster Dogs came calling.”
Simon tensed up. “What the fuck?”
Devil smirked. “Yeah, I happened to be there that day. It was the same time I decided not to reach out to you.” Devil poured himself another shot of whiskey. “I was at the clubhouse. All the arrangements had been set in place. Lash was pissed they turned up uninvited on his turf and to top it off, it was one of the rare occasions Tabitha was even at the clubhouse. Dick had been teaching her some meditation or some shit. I don’t know.”
Devil twirled his glass on the table. Simon’s patience was starting to wear a little thin. No, not a little, a lot. He looked toward his mother when Devil finally spoke again. “The president was there, a few of his boys, and Ryan’s dad. The one who you killed.”
“He had no right to be there.”
“I know, so did Lash. Anyway, he was in the process of getting them off club property, and I was about a second away from shooting them all in the face, when Tabitha walked in. Damn it, do you remember?” Devil asked, looking at Lexie.
“It was the first time we saw her smile. Whatever Dick had done, he’d brought her peace.”
“Yep, and within a second, it was gone because of those assholes. Believe me, a lot of people wanted to start a war that day. Tabitha had been holding her shit together but barely. One look at them, and she seemed to know. Ryan’s dad, and the Monster Dogs wanted her to come and live at their clubhouse. To … I don’t know, become one of them. She was carrying one of them, and it was only fair.” Devil smiled. “She told them all to eat shit and die.” Lexie chuckled. “I swear at times, she didn’t know what her words could have caused.”
Simon couldn’t help but smile, imagining his woman. He also knew she would have been a mess afterward.
“She told them that what Ryan did to her, none of them had any right or claim. The baby was hers. She also explained, much to my and Lexie’s embarrassment, there was also a chance it was yours, about a failed condom.”
Simon nodded. “We were going to wait a month and see. Take a test if she didn’t start her period.”
“The Dogs weren’t easily swayed until Tabitha very vividly told them exactly what Ryan did. How as far as she was concerned, they would never have any claim, and if they so much as touched her, she would make sure they never knew a quiet moment because as Ryan attacked, he’d whispered little secrets about the club.” Devil sighed. “The Dogs left. Tabitha got left alone.”
“She has secrets on them?”
“Not a damn thing,” Devil said. He laughed. “It sure made Whizz pull his shit together and start digging. They were on a countdown. He got the dirty crap he needed. Enough to keep Tabitha and Nathan safe. That’s how I knew she didn’t need you. Tabitha is a strong woman, Simon. I made a judgment call and you don’t like it, fine. I don’t care. You’ve seen how amazing she’s been with that boy.”
“I don’t want to know,” he said.
“You don’t want to know what?” Devil asked.
“If he’s mine or not. I know you’ve got the answers and if you don’t, you’d find them. Nathan’s mine.” He got to his feet. “He’s my son and I want him to be seen as my flesh and blood in the eyes of the club.”
“The only way to make this work is to claim her, son. You know that. Stick around. Earn your patch. Show the boys you mean business. I expect you at the clubhouse tomorrow.”
Simon got to his feet and held his hand out. “Thank you for taking care of her.”
Devil chuckled. “You don’t need to go around shaking my hand. We both know she’s family.”
Simon left his parents and found Tabby in bed. She was curled up but her eyes were open.
“Hey, beautiful.”
“Did you have a good family meeting?”
“Not really. I’ve got to earn everything back. The respect, you know, the works.”
“Did you expect anything else from him?” Tabby asked.
“No, not a damn thing.” He stroked her hair back from her cheek. “Can I stay with you tonight?”
“If you’d like.”
“I’m going to need a place to live,” he said.
“Simon, I don’t want to move too fast.”
“I’ll take the sofa at your place. No rush.”
“Fine.”
He kissed her cheek. “You do know I’m not going anywhere from now on. You’ve got me.”
“Yay, I can’t wait.”
He laughed. “You’re a giant pain in the ass.”
“And that’s what you love about me.”
“It’s not the only thing I love about you, but it’s right up there of things to love.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek before getting up and heading toward the bathroom. On his way to have a quick shower, he heard some whimpering coming from his son’s room.
Opening the door, he glanced in to see Nathan twitch
and whimper. He suddenly jerked awake, calling for his mother. Simon wrapped his arms around his son, holding him close. “I’ve got you.”
“I was being eaten by sharks.”
“No sharks.”
“I hate the water.”
“Don’t worry. Everyone hates sharks,” he said. Nathan slowly started to calm down.
He lay back against the pillows and he stroked his son’s head. “Are you feeling better now?”
“Yeah, I don’t like sharks.”
“I hate them,” Simon said, wrinkling his nose. “They’re way too big and weird.”
Nathan giggled. “Mom hates them too. She likes watching movies with them in.”
“You don’t watch them?”
Nathan shook his head. “No. Mom says I’m too young but sometimes Uncle Miles, if he’s watching me, he lets me.”
“I bet your mom isn’t happy about that.”
Nathan agreed.
“I’ve got to head for the shower. I kind of stink. You good, or do you want me to stay here until you fall asleep?”
“I’m good.”
Leaning down, he kissed his son on the head and stood.
“Daddy?” Nathan asked as he got to the door.
Gripping the handle, he looked back.
“Will you be here in the morning?”
He nodded. “Yep, here in the morning and the day after that, the day after. You’re going to get so sick of seeing me.”
Another giggle. “I won’t, Daddy. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
Closing the door, he turned to see Tabby standing there watching. Tears were in her eyes.
“See, I’ve got this.”
****
“You’re thinking again,” Lexie said.
Devil put the bottle of whiskey away and looked toward his woman. “Is that a bad thing?”
“I don’t know. I think every single time you’re thinking it means bad news.”
“I’m not and this is good news. We should be celebrating,” Devil said. “Our son has returned. He’s back with his woman.”
“And we know Tabitha may still want a divorce,” Lexie said. “If she does, it’s going to get ugly.”
