by LJ Swallow
"Uh. Let's not go there, Xander," warns Joss. "We're tired."
He rolls onto his side and looks at Vee; she rolls onto hers, and they lie nose to nose. "Tell me about DoomMan." Joss pushes loose hair from Vee's face and places his lips on her forehead. "You look freaked out by everything."
She closes her eyes and smiles. "Ah, the Joss treatment."
Not wanting to see what else the “Joss treatment” entails, I excuse myself for what I hope will be a relaxing shower, and not a battle with an unfamiliar hot water system.
20
VEE
My turn for a steaming hot shower washes away the day's insanity, and I forget everything for a few minutes, save the graze on my elbow and ebbing anger with Xander. As I dress again, I mull over my encounter with Seth and his reveal as DoomMan. Xander's right, there are a lot of missing puzzle pieces, but if Seth and Casey hold them, we need to give the pair a chance. Hell, I spent months working with these people on theories I haven't yet shared with the four guys.
Confusion exists in both Horsemen and theorist camps, and I'm the one who can bridge that.
I step out of the tiny bathroom as I towel dry my damp hair. Xander sits on the edge of the bed and doesn't look around when I appear, instead flicking through channels on the hotel TV.
"Where's Joss?"
"Gone out for food."
I drop the damp towel to the bed. "We could've all eaten at the Little Chef."
Xander screws his nose up. "He's headed into the town to find something half-decent." He pauses. "And some beers."
"Ah. Beer. Of course."
His constant channel surfing irritates me. "Choose a show, Xander."
In a petulant move, Xander flicks the TV off and dumps the control on the bed. I lean across to pick it up and Xander grabs my wrist. My hair sweeps across his face, damp tendrils brushing his cheek and my body touching his for the first time since the night in the kitchen.
"What the fuck happened back there, Vee?" he growls.
"I could ask you the same question." I straighten, holding the TV remote as Xander looks up at me.
With a small shake of the head, Xander stands and walks to the small bar fridge and crouches down. He searches through the contents, before examining the small row of bottles on the shelf above. He tips a tiny whiskey bottle into the nearby tumbler glass and turns to the window.
There's no way he can see anything through those nets. Seriously, this man has the maturity of a six-year-old sometimes. His back remains to me as I fight down the irritation triggered by his behaviour.
"Talk to me, Xander," I say.
"Can we just leave this? I don't want to fight with you," he growls.
"You can't ignore me as if I'm your brother. Man up, Xander."
Xander finally turns to face me, his face dark. "Watch what you're saying, Vee.”
I step forward and grab the tumbler from him, then slam it on the table beside the bed. "Today was a big fuck up, but if we work together, we'll achieve more. We found a good lead from Seth and Casey."
He attempts to pick up the glass, and I snatch it away. "Give me my fucking drink, Vee."
"Talk to me."
"No. I'm pissed off that you stopped me dealing with that fucker who hurt you. He deserved everything I was about to give him. He fucking abducted you, Vee!"
The bubbling fury bursts and the words I've held back unleash. "Nobody hurt me! You were the one who fucked up the situation."
"I did it to keep you safe."
"Bullshit."
He grabs the glass from my hand and knocks back the contents. "You really piss me off, do you know that?"
"Uh. Yeah, I had the odd hint," I snap back.
"Do you know why?"
"Because I won't bow to your decision making? Because I hold a part of you that you didn't want to give? Because you want me so much the frustration's channelling into anger? Any of those or all of them?" I ask sarcastically.
Xander's eyes glitter, and he moves toward me. I tense as his face moves closer to mine but refuse to stand down as his breath touches my ear. "All of them."
My elevated heart rate shoots higher as my need for Xander battles to overcome the anger. How many times have we been here? How often have we stepped back and not acted on the power built between us? Each time the energy mounts and is pushed aside, but never dissipates.
I stumble back and meet his eyes in challenge. "Then do something about it."
“You mean like making you bow to me? Like that's ever going to change.” His derisive tone switches with his next words. “You have a power over me you don't understand… that I don’t understand.”
His admission hits me between the eyes, a punch to the head, and I can only stare as he continues.
“To me, you're the whole fucking universe contained in one girl ready to detonate and take me out. Do you understand that? Do you understand how I can't spend a single day without wanting you so much it distracts me from everything else? I can’t focus anymore." He pulls my lip down with his thumb, dark eyes watching the action. "You weaken me, Vee, and I fucking hate it."
"I strengthen you all, Xander. You always told me that."
He rubs his thumb against my lip; the pad scrapes and sets a shiver across my face. "Physically, yes. Emotionally, you wreck me."
“Stop fighting this," I say. "You need to accept what effect I have. Don’t you realise it frightens me sometimes too?"
He steps back. "I'm War, Vee! I can't let go. If I step back, then the world will burn. I can't let you weaken me because this world needs my strength.”
“You’re strong, Xander. We’re stronger together. You need to trust me.”
“No, the world needs me for what's coming."
I close my eyes and say the words I swore I never would, when I told myself three men were enough to expect love from. "I need you too, Xander."
He’s silent for a moment before he says in a quiet voice, "I'll hurt you."
"Of course you won't. You can't."
He takes my face and squeezes my cheeks between his fingers. "If I lose control around you, and the War you hold inside meets with mine, things won't be pretty."
I drag my face away. “That’s bullshit. You’re scared of me. ”
Xander grabs my arms and pushes me against the wall. “Scared isn’t the feeling you arouse in me, Vee,” he growls, “And you need to stop thinking you can match me.”
His chest presses against mine, and I’m aware of his heart beating hard against mine in a way I never could if we were human. Something inside screams at me to do this, to unite the last part of myself with him, but I won't give in. I won't be the first to yield.
Every sensation overwhelms me, from the hard planes of his chest to Xander’s hot breath against my neck and the strange hotel soap smell mingled with the scent of his anger. The raw Xander’s letting go, when he thinks he’s taking control. And my body’s alight, heated, ready to show him he’s wrong.
“Match you?” I whisper back and move my face so my cheek brushes his scruff. “I’d win, and that’s what scares you the most, pony boy.”
Xander's mouth hits mine and with it a force unlike anything from the other guys. The rage and arousal inside explodes in the way he threatened, the detonation shaking through my body. I grip his hair and return the kiss, our mouths locked in a battle to match the one from our words.
My strength builds, as it does when I channel War. Right now, I need him to give himself to me. Xander’s stance remains firm, and he wraps an arm around my waist, holding me to his hips. I struggle against his grip. I refuse to stand against the wall and let him think he has me under his control.
"Let me move," I say as I pull my mouth away.
He pushes harder against me and grips my hair, pulling my head back so I can’t move as his mouth assaults mine. My anger grows, and I bite his lip harder than I intended. He swears and pulls my hair tighter; our tongues continue their fight. The metallic taste of blood joins the i
ntoxicating taste of Xander.
Summoning the strength aroused by us, I place my hands between us and shove him. He stumbles away. “I said, let me move, Xander.”
Xander looks back and touches his lip. He stares down at the blood spotting his fingers. "Man, you're a surprise. That fucking hurt."
“Finished yet?” I ask.
His move’s sudden and calculated as I’m pressed against the wall again. His hands run along my side, rough, possessive. He pinions me, his arousal hard against my side, as the bruising kisses begin again, one hand behind my head holding my face to him. I arch towards him as his hand pushes beneath my shirt, the ache building between my legs. His thumb swipes across my nipple straining against the lace bra, and the sensation tears through my body.
Fuck it.
This ends now.
My hand slides to Xander’s, and I drag my fingers across the rough denim before flicking the button on his jeans. The action lights a touchpaper, and the rough passion becomes unrestrained. We pull at clothes, nip and kiss, hands and mouths unrelenting as we match each other in a battle we’ve craved for days.
Dizzied, I pull his now naked chest against me. Only our underwear remains and my hardened nipples strain against the lace that’s rough against them. He pulls at my bra strap and lightly sinks his teeth into my shoulder as he unhooks and drops that to the floor to join our other clothes.
Xander digs his hands beneath my ass and lifts me, his mouth immediately on my breasts, teasing and sucking my nipples. I tip my head back, wet heat building further between my legs as his teeth nip me with painful pleasure. Wrapping my legs around Xander’s hips, I grip his shoulders, the centre of me throbbing as he rocks against me.
The frantic battle continues, and I’m lost to all awareness but the friction where our bodies touch and the remaining tension Xander holds onto. His hand slides beneath us, as his fingers work downward and slip beneath the edge of my panties. He takes a sharp intake of breath as he moves a finger where I’m slick and wet. Xander lifts his head from my breasts and watches, mouth parted as he roughly pushes a finger inside me. I widen my legs, and he pushes harder into me with a rhythm driving me higher and out of control.
No more words pass as he stops suddenly, turns, and drops me backwards onto the bed. My head sinks into the soft bedding, but the smug look on his face riles me. Hell, he's doing crazy things to me inside and out, but that triumphant expression switches my irritation back on. Before he can reach me, I roll to one side to climb off the bed.
Xander grabs my arms so I can't escape, and I lash out again, force meeting force. We tumble to the floor, arms and legs entangled as the battle rages on, Xander beneath me as his head hits the carpeted floor. My face presses against his chest as he rolls us over, and I’m beneath him again. Blood pounds in my ears and I kick and push at him. He forgets my strength matches his, and with another shove, I roll us again until Xander's back is against the floor again. The table with his glass on falls to one side, crashing against the wall, as we hit it.
I look down and smile in triumph, and I drag nails across the ridge of muscle defining the body beneath me. Xander's eyes remain fixed on mine. Look who's winning now, Xander.
But I'm not.
Xander bucks against me, and I fall back as he spins me back onto the floor. My arm hits the lamp in the corner of the room and it falls. His mouth slams onto mine again, and I'm lost in a kiss filled with confusion.
Something unleashes, a force hitting my mind as strongly as his mouth did before, and with them a blackness filled with male voices. I can’t make out the words; faces fade in and out of view. There’s hatred and horror passing with it, constrained by the shadows obscuring the scene. Faces sharpen. Men.
Blood.
Death.
I wrench my mouth stare back at him. "Xander."
He gives a small shake of his head and the images snap away, as if they never existed, and I spiral back to the lust, and the now. Xander pins my arms over my head, forcing my legs apart with his knee. His erection pressing against my leg surges exquisite need through me, and I buck my hips against him.
A smile curves across his face, as both our chests heave in unison, panting for air and each other.
"Tell me."
"Tell you what?" I breathe out.
"What you want." He places his face close to mine, lips brushing against my cheek, the gentle kiss contrasting the fierce passion and further confusing my addled brain.
You. A thousand times you. Hell, I've wanted you since the moment you pressed me against the wall in the club. Since we touched at Portia’s.
Since your eyes met mine.
But I clench my teeth; Xander doesn't get to hear those words or to know he won the moment we met. I slide my mouth to meet his, and we're lost again in the angry kiss of War meeting his equal. His fingers find their way to my wet centre again, and he yanks at my panties, the thin lace unable to stand his strength.
His whole hand covers me, and he thrusts his tongue into my mouth, matching the movement with his fingers as he pushes them inside again. Xander's skill in playing a woman's body washes pleasure over me, as he pushes the soft spot inside and thumbs my clit.
I'm wound tight, trembling towards a release I don't want yet. He shifts away to watch as I fight moans in my heavy breaths. I seize the wrist between my legs and he stills. "Stop."
"Stop everything?" He arches a brow, perspiration shining his forehead.
In answer, I drop my eyes to the length of him straining against his briefs, and raise a brow. He smirks his annoying smirks and slides out of them. Xander cups my ass and holds me high to meet him.
His tip rubs against my clit, the hard heat driving me closer to the stars in the universe he sees inside me.
Xander enters me slowly, and the desire to fight him drops. All that matters now is him, thick and hard pushing inside. His bare chest gleams with perspiration in the light from the fallen lamp as he withdraws and thrusts in, sudden and forceful. He grips my hips as he moves, and with each, I slip further away from the control I grasp onto. He watches my breasts move, running his tongue along his bottom lip as he does.
I match his movements as the passionate fury grows again, and I grip him in return, digging my fingers into his firm ass. Fighting is no longer an option for either of us as our energy meets and the power explodes in a way I never expected.
Literally explodes.
The moment my orgasm shatters me, a lightbulb above our head shatters too and the picture on the wall falls onto the floor. Xander glances around, momentarily distracted as I grasp onto the blankets that fall from the bed onto my face.
"What the fuck?" he breathes as he continues to thrust, and my orgasm continues to pulse through my body and between us.
More power shakes through Xander to me, his urgency increasing, each movement bringing me back to the brink. I tighten around Xander again, and when I cling to him, falling over the edge, he groans and buries himself to the hilt as he comes.
He collapses onto me and showers my face with kisses as I continue to hold onto him. Neither of us speaks, still connected and bodies shining with perspiration. My mind’s still clouded by the intensity of what happened.
What happens when I let go? When we move away and the energy unleashed leaves us? Does his heart thundering against my chest belong to me? Or was that a need unleashed that’s done with?
21
VEE
If he moves away and pulls on his triumph over the situation, our relationship will take several steps backwards and not forwards. He remains still as I lie in his arms, his smooth chest’s rapid rise and fall gradually slowing. He plays his fingers through my tangled damp hair, but doesn’t speak.
With each echoing moment we don't speak, the more worried I feel.
But we can't deny what happened. Not only the sex, but also the sheer intensity of the union. This was like Heath, but different. Our personalities clash, but some of what’s contained within in us un
leashed, and the effect is insane. At one point, I was pretty damn sure the room would explode. Judging by my life, that's not beyond the realm of possibility.
"We should tidy up," he says eventually, the words muffled as he speaks them against my hair. "I don't know how long before Joss is back."
Joss. Crap. I hastily sit upright and Xander shifts to lie on his side. He traces my breast with one finger, in a spiral until he reaches my peaked nipple. I move his hand away and meet his dark eyes. The affection in his expression reveals an unguarded Xander I think he hides from everybody.
“My mouth hurts,” he says with a half-smile as he touches his lips. “Don’t do that again.”
“Sorry.” I kiss him briefly and inhale our mingled scent. "I hope we didn't break anything.”
Xander digs his fingers into my hair and rests his forehead against mine. "You broke me, Vee."
His quiet words hold vulnerability. Just how far have I pushed Xander from his comfort zone?
"I'm sure you'll fix yourself, and everything will be under control again, right, Xander?"
"Of course." He releases me and sits, revealing the defined muscle I haven’t had the opportunity to admire before I was held against his heated skin. "I always have everything under control."
Like two teens scared they'll be caught out, we dress and straighten the room as best we can. I push the broken glass from the lightbulb to one side, relieved the picture frame glass didn't shatter.
Xander stands on a chair, rehanging the watercolour painting of local scenery, and I'm picking the hotel phone from the floor when the door swings open. Joss stands, key card between his teeth, paper bag with a fast-food logo printed in one hand, and a six-pack of beers under his arm.
He pulls his head back, and his brow tugs down as he scans the room; I watch for his reaction. He places the bag on the hotel dresser and drops the key card beside it.
"What the fuck happened here?" Joss frowns down at the broken ornament close to the window. "Bloody hell, Vee, have you been throwing things at him?"
