by Amy Cross
But not today.
I have to build up to this slowly, and I have to do it at the right time. If I do it too soon, I might get it wrong; if I wait too long, I risk having the whole thing explode in my face. No, I've got to think about this properly and come up with a solution; I've got to plan everything methodically.
My phone suddenly starts ringing. Pulling it from my pocket, I see that my father's calling. That's no great surprise. After all, apart from work, my father's the only person who has my number.
"Where are you?" he asks as soon as I answer the call. He sounds stressed, which is kind of his default mood these days.
"I'm on my way," I reply.
"Let's not be late," he says. "Come on, the party awaits."
Putting the phone back in my pocket, I shudder at the thought of going to any kind of party. Still, I know what I have to do. I've got the next few weeks planned out, and I have to do the right things in the right order. One of those things involves going and seeing some people I haven't seen for a very long time. The bonus to this is that it gets my father off my back and should hopefully stop him nagging at me. Taking a deep breath, I turn and hurry along the sidewalk. When I get to the end of the street, I glance over my shoulder for a moment. I'll be back here someday soon, and I'll ring that buzzer and tell that man everything. I should be scared; in fact, the thought excites me.
Chapter One
Today
"This is so weird," my father says as we walk up the driveway toward the large, old house. "I remember when Samantha was born, and now she's getting married. It's crazy how time flies. Hell, she's the same age as you. Doesn't that make you think?"
"Yeah," I say, barely paying attention to what he's saying.
"Yeah?" he replies. "Is that all you've got to say? Yeah? Come on, Juliet, you've got to face the world sometime. Samantha's engaged. Doesn't that make you wonder about your own life? Wouldn't you like to have a boyfriend some day?"
"Yeah," I say, smiling awkwardly. I really, really don't want to be here. We're on the far side of town for a party to celebrate my cousin Samantha's engagement. My father wouldn't usually give a damn about this kind of event, but I've got a feeling he's deliberately trying to push me to be more social. For the past two days, he's been continually asking me if I remember Samantha, and if I'm looking forward to seeing Samantha again, and if maybe I'd like to become friends with Samantha, and if I could see myself one day being like Samantha... It's just been Samantha this and Samantha that, to the point that I feel like he wishes I could just turn myself into a complete clone of the pampered little bitch. The truth is: I don't like Samantha, and I don't want to come to her stupid engagement party, and I don't even know why I let my father drag me here. I mean, it's my first day off for almost a month, and this is definitely not what I want to be doing with my time.
Besides, my father's got one thing very wrong. He thinks I've never had a friend, not in my whole life. That's not true. I had a friend once. For a few hours, anyway.
"How long's it been?" he asks as he rings the doorbell. "Ten years?"
"Eleven," I mutter.
"Eleven years!" He sighs. "You two seemed to hit it off before the accident. You seemed close. I know it all went a bit wrong, but I think there was a spark there."
I turn to him. Close? He thinks Samantha and I used to be close? I mean, sure, we hung out together for a few hours, but that was mostly because our parents forced us to get to know each other. At the time, it felt like there was some kind of grand scheme underway to force us to be friends. My father always had a bee in his bonnet about me not having any real friends, so I'm pretty sure he was trying to get me together with Samantha in an attempt to 'fix' me. It didn't work, of course, and I've been very happily ignoring Samantha ever since. We were friends for about five hours, that's all. I don't think either of us ever wanted to see each other again, yet here I am, standing in her driveway with a lame gift in my hands.
"Juliet!" shouts a woman as soon as she opens the door. Although she's older than I expected, my aunt Mary is immediately recognizable. She steps forward and gives me a big, firm hug. "My God, it's good to see you. It's been far too long." She steps back and grins at me. "Wow, you've grown up. Obviously! But what a pretty girl you are!"
"Sorry we're late," my father says. "We had a little trouble finding the place after all these years."
"Come in!" Mary says, grabbing my arm and pretty much dragging me across the threshold. "You know, Samantha's going to be so pleased that you could make it today. She was just saying last night that she didn't think you'd be able to come. Aren't you working some kind of night shift job?"
"Yeah," I say, a little stunned by Mary's enthusiasm. "I'm working over at the retirement home a few blocks from here. I do the night hours."
"Sounds exciting," Mary says. "Whatever made you go into that line of work?"
"It's just temporary," I reply. "I'm earning money before I go to college in a couple of months."
"A college girl?" Mary smiles, looking almost proud of me. "How wonderful." She pauses for a moment, and I swear I can see tears in her eyes.
"Are you okay?" I ask cautiously.
She nods. "It's just so overwhelming. The last time I saw you, Juliet, you were a little girl who'd just lost her mother. And now you're all grown up, you're beautiful, and you're working to save money for college. I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I'm absolutely certain your mother would be so proud if she could see you right now."
I smile, not really sure how to respond.
"I'll be in the kitchen," my father says, patting me on the back as he heads through. "If you need me, you know where to find me."
"I'm so sorry we haven't been in touch," Mary says. "To be honest, the last time I spoke to your Dad, it was a little... unusual. Things were said, on both sides, that perhaps should have been swept under the carpet. After what happened between you and Samantha, I suppose it was just easier to disconnect for a while. I thought it would all get sorted out eventually, but you know how it goes. And suddenly, a decade passes and all this stupidity has been allowed to get out of proportion." She pauses. "I want to apologize to you, Juliet. From the bottom of my heart. I never should have allowed my personal problems with your father to prevent us from seeing you. I let you down, and I let your mother down, and for that I'm truly, truly sorry."
"It's fine," I say quietly.
"It's not fine," she replies. "I want you to know that Samantha and I have both forgiven you for all that unpleasantness. It's time to turn over a new leaf. After all, family is family."
"Don't worry about it," I say, feeling intensely awkward. The truth is, things would have been more complicated if Mary had been around over the past few years. It's not that there's anything particularly wrong with her, but she's the kind of person who's always trying to make everyone pretend to be happy. I'm pretty sure I would've gone crazy if I'd had to deal with her while I was growing up. In fact, I wouldn't even be here today if it wasn't for the fact that my father pretty much forced me to come. In the eleven years since I last saw Mary and Samantha, I don't think they've even crossed my mind more than a couple of times. They've just been irrelevant to me.
"So," Mary continues, taking my arm and leading me through to the front room, "this isn't a very big gathering. Just some friends and family getting together to mark the fact that my little princess has finally got a ring on her finger." She pauses in the doorway, and half a dozen people turn to look at us. They're all middle-aged, and there's something kind of weird about the way they're just sitting on two sofas; it's as if they're going through the motions of a party, without actually enjoying themselves. For once, I might not be the most awkward person in the room. "Everyone," Mary says, grinning the most freakishly sincere smile I've ever seen, "I want you to meet Juliet! Juliet is my niece. She's Amanda's daughter."
"Hi," the other guests all kind of murmur together.
I smile, trying not to blush. I don't recognize anyone
here, which is something of a relief. I really just want to give Samantha her gift and get out of here. As I stare back at all the faces in the room, I feel as if their eyes are burrowing into my soul, seeing everything about me. Do they know my secrets? Just by looking at me, do they know all the dark things that cross my mind? After all, I've killed two people in the past couple of weeks, and that's got to show, hasn't it? I wonder what would happen if I suddenly announced the truth to them all? I'd love to see the shocked looks on their faces, but then again, I guess they can probably tell that I'm a little weird. Maybe they can look at me and immediately tell that I'm a bad person?
"Hey," says a voice behind me. I turn to find myself face to face, for the first time in eleven years, with Samantha. I know it's something of a cliche, but I'm shocked to see how much she's grown. As she stands and smiles awkwardly at me, I stare at her pretty little pink dress and her overly-made-up face. It's like she's made of bubblegum. I mean, I've always known she's kind of a bubbly, girly kind of girl, but it looks as if she's completely embraced that side of her personality.
"Hey," I say, thrusting the gift toward her. "This is for you."
"Oh!" She takes the gift. "Thank you. I'll put it with the others. I'm going to open them all later. Together." She hurries across the room and sets the box with the rest. "It's so good to see you, Juliet," she continues, glancing nervously at me, almost as if she's scared. "It's been a long time."
"Eleven years," I reply. The other people in the room have gone back to talking to one another, so I can relax a little.
"Gosh!" Mary says, turning to me. "Eleven years. That's... That's a long time, isn't it? That's, like... more than three thousand days. That's..." Her voice trails off, and I can tell that she's struggling to keep the conversation going.
"Yeah," I say, trying not to smile. It's pretty obvious that she's finding this whole situation to be pretty weird.
"Can I get you a drink, Juliet?" Mary asks, hovering nearby.
"Just a glass of water, thanks," I say.
"Nonsense!" she replies, grabbing a champagne flute and holding it out to me. "Have a glass of bubbly!"
"I don't really drink," I say.
"Just this once?" She grins at me, and it's pretty clear that she's not going to let me get away with just having a glass of water.
"Have some champagne," my father says, having wandered in from the kitchen. "It's a special occasion."
"I'm not -"
"Have some fucking champagne," he continues, heading over to the sofas.
I take the glass. "Thank you," I say, seeing from the look in my father's eyes that it'd be better to just go with the flow. Everyone else here is drinking champagne, and the last thing I want to do is draw attention to myself by being the odd one out. Besides, I don't actually have to drink the stuff. I raise the glass to my lips and take the smallest sip, just to satisfy my father and Mary. "Nice," I say.
"Isn't it?" Mary replies. "Well, I'll leave you two girls to have a little chat. I bet you've got so much to be talking about!" With that, she turns and hurries across the room, leaving me standing next to Samantha.
"So you're getting married?" I say eventually, figuring I might as well be the one to break the uncomfortable silence.
"Yeah," she says, not sounding particularly enthusiastic. "Scott's not here right now. He's at work, but..." Again, her voice trails off. It's pretty obvious that she doesn't want to be talking to me, but at the same time I guess she's worried that she might seem rude. Sometimes, people can be so weird. I mean, if she doesn't want to talk to me, she should just make an excuse and walk away. I thought parties were supposed to be places where people relax, but there's something about this gathering that seems pretty unusual. For one thing, there's no music; for another, everyone seems very stiff and formal. There's no atmosphere; it's like a party on the moon.
"So you're here!" Samantha says suddenly, clearly trying to sound pleased. "I really didn't think you'd come, Juliet. I really, really... really didn't think you'd come! I thought you'd..." She sighs, and I can see the discomfort in her eyes. I knew she wouldn't be too pleased to see me, and frankly I'm impressed that she hasn't turned around and run away. "I don't know," she continues," I guess I just really didn't think you'd actually show up."
"You sent me an invitation," I reply flatly.
"Yeah," she says. "Actually, that was my Mom; she was in charge of the invitations, but..." Her smile fades for a moment, but she quickly remembers to look happy again. "I can't believe how long it's been since last time. You look... pretty good."
I glance down at my jeans and t-shirt, and then over at Samantha's bubblegum dress. She looks like a princess from some old fairytale, and it's tempting to think she should be riding around on a unicorn while some bland prince fights for her honor; we couldn't look more different if we tried. "My father said I should come," I tell her. "I kind of thought maybe it wouldn't be a good idea, but he insisted and so here I am."
We fall into an awkward silence. Eventually, she leans closer. "Listen," she whispers, "I don't know why you're really here, but I just want to make one thing very clear." She pauses. "We're not friends, Juliet. We weren't friends back then, we're not friends now, and we're never going to be friends. I don't know what you want, coming here today, but I'm asking you to please not cause any problems. The past is in the past, and that's where it should stay. Whatever you think you can do by showing up here, out of the blue, I want you to just stop and reconsider. The last thing I want is to go raking over things that happened a long time ago."
"I just came to give you a gift," I reply, amused by the panic in her voice.
"Please leave," she hisses. "Thank you for the gift, it's very sweet, but you've given it to me so now please, please get the fuck out of here. Make an excuse, say you have to go somewhere, or say you're ill, but leave. I don't..." She pauses for a moment. "I don't want you here. It makes me uncomfortable."
"Juliet!" Mary calls out from across the room. She has a big grin on her face. "Come and meet someone!"
"Sorry," I say to Samantha. "Looks like I'm staying a little longer." With that, I turn and walk over to join Mary. I thought I'd hate coming here today, but I'm actually starting to think it might be fun. Glancing back at Samantha, I see the look of simmering hatred in her eyes, and I'm reminded of how things used to be between us. I can't believe I almost didn't come today. Something tells me I might actually enjoy myself.
Chapter Two
Eleven years ago
"So guess who's coming over today?" my father asks as he puts a place of buttered toast in front of me. He goes over to the fridge and takes out a jar of jam. "Juliet? Guess who's coming over today?"
I shrug.
"Your cousin Samantha."
My heart sinks a little. For as long as I can remember, I've hated Samantha. My parents have always had some kind of weird idea that in some way, the two of us should get along, so for a while they kept making us hang out together. I'd hoped that following my mother's death, those days were over. After all, Samantha's from my mother's side of the family, and I don't see why I have to see her again.
"Aren't you excited?" my father asks, taking a seat at the opposite end of the kitchen table. "I thought maybe you'd like to play with someone your own age for once?"
I spread some jam on the toast.
He sighs. "Juliet, you've got to be more social. Dr. Larson and I are very worried about the fact that you don't have any friends. Can't you at least try to get along with Samantha?"
"I don't like her," I say.
"You barely know her!" he replies. "Juliet, I'm serious. Your mother might have thought it was okay for you to spend all day sitting in your room and watching TV, but things are different now. You need to develop some stronger social skills, and the only way to do that is to spend time with other people. Even if it's awkward at first, you need to learn how to communicate and how to negotiate your way through a friendship."
"What time's she coming?" I as
k. I'd planned to spend most of today in my room, reading and drawing. I guess that won't be possible now, not with Samantha turning up.
"She's coming at lunchtime," he says, "and she's staying for the afternoon." He pauses. "I really think you'll like spending time with her if you just give it a chance. She's not that bad, is she?"
"We'll go outside," I say.
"You want to play in the garden?"
I nod.
"That's a nice idea, but it's not really very warm. I was thinking maybe you could -"
"The garden's fun," I say, interrupting him. "I'd like to play in the garden."
He stares at me for a moment. "You haven't got another dead cat out there, have you?"
I shake my head.
"You promise?"
"I promise. I just thought that if we have to play, we might as well be outside. It's more fun. If we don't like it, we can always change our minds and come back in."
"Okay," he says after a brief pause. I can tell he's uncertain, but I guess he's going to give me the benefit of the doubt. All he wants is for me to spend the afternoon playing with a 'friend' like a normal girl. The problem, though, is that I'm not a normal girl. I'm evil. I've tried hiding it, and I've tried denying my nature, but ever since I managed to kill Martina, I've been absolutely certain that there's an evil heart beating in my chest. It's time to start showing my true nature, and I guess Samantha's visit might be the perfect opportunity to make a statement. After all, Samantha's a nice, friendly girl, so this seems like a good time to let my dark side show.
"Can we have a barbecue?" I ask, hoping to persuade my father that I'm becoming more enthusiastic.
"A barbecue?"
I smile. "It's fun! We can get burgers! Everyone likes burgers! I bet Samantha likes burgers!"
