by Amy Cross
"I do trust you," I say. "I just wish you did not have to carry this terrible burden alone."
"It is a burden of my own making," he replies. "I have not always been a good man. You have seen my many faults, but I have long sworn that they will not affect your life." He pauses. "Go, Victoria. Let me deal with this. I will not allow your love to be placed in jeopardy."
I pause for a moment. "Have you ever been in love?" I ask eventually.
"Everyone has been in love at some point," he replies.
"Tell me about her," I continue. "You never -"
"And I never will," he says, interrupting me.
"Can you at least tell me her name?"
He smiles sadly. "Paula," he says finally. "Her name was Paula. A strange name, I know. But it was all a very long time ago. Now go and prepare for your wedding. I'll be along shortly."
Leaving the room, I hurry along the corridor. I'm determined to ensure that my wedding goes ahead, but I fear it will be in the shadow of some greater tension. As I reach the top of the stairs, I realize that I have no-one to whom I can turn. In all the time since I arrived at Devil's Briar, I have made few friends. The town is friendly enough, but it is a small community and people are naturally a little wary of strangers. It will take time to break down this barrier, although I am sure that I shall do so - if I am given the opportunity. I walk down toward the hotel reception, trying to work out what I can do, but finally I hear voices over by the door and I am surprised to find that Lilith Haynes has arrived and is talking to Mr. Porter.
"There she is!" Lilith says, hurrying toward me. "The lady of the hour! You look beautiful, my dear!"
"Thank you," I reply, close to tears.
"What's wrong?" she asks, looking closer. "You seem distressed."
"It's nothing," I say. "Really."
"I came to help you," Lilith replies. "You and your uncle are new in town, yet you should not have to prepare alone for your wedding. I felt perhaps you could use a feminine touch."
"I would appreciate that very much," I say, as tears start to stream down my face.
"Come with me," she says, putting an arm around my shoulder and leading me back upstairs. "It is absolutely normal to be crying in the hours leading up to your wedding. This is an emotional day for you, my dear, and you must not be afraid to express your feelings in any manner that feels natural."
"I know," I say as we walk to my room.
"Of course," she continues, "if you are still crying after you have married Mr. Caster, then perhaps there is something wrong." She pauses for a moment. "My dear, I was being light-hearted. I aim merely to lighten the mood a little. I have been married to David for nearly ten years, and I cannot say that every moment has been sweetness and light. But a good marriage is a strong thing, and it acts as a support that helps us to live our lives more fully. If you truly love Mr. Caster -"
"I do!" I say firmly. "I do, I swear I do. It's just... I find myself wondering if he would be better off marrying someone else. There is so much about me that he does not know."
"He loves you," she says. "As long as that is true -"
"I should go to him," I say, realizing that perhaps the problem is that I have not trusted dear Albert sufficiently. "If I just tell him all these things, and if he is kind enough to still want to marry me when he knows the truth about my past, then I will know that he truly loves me!"
"The past is the past," she says, holding me firmly by the shoulders. "It does not affect the present."
"But it does!" I reply. "Sometimes, the past walks in through the door and threatens everything. What can one do when the past catches up with one, and promises to ruin one's entire world?"
She stares at me for a moment. "My dear girl, what are you talking about?"
"The devil has come to this town," I say through my tears, "or at least, a man with the devil in his heart. A man who knows secrets. A man who divines the secrets of others, and who seeks to use those secrets to cause terrible problems." I take a deep breath, trying to calm down. "He has a gift," I continue after a moment. "His name is John Saxon, and I don't know how he does it, but he has the ability to look into your eyes, and know your deepest, darkest secret. It is almost as if he can reach directly into your mind and find that which you are most keen to hide. In this way, he is most certainly like the devil, or worse. He takes great pleasure in this ability of his, and like some kind of vampire he wanders the land, eating up the secrets of those he finds and -"
Suddenly Lilith places a finger against my lips, as if to stop me from talking further.
"Such men do not exist," she says, "although they might try to exercise power by means of influence. I look at you now, Victoria, and I cannot believe that such a sweet, kind-natured girl could possibly have any dark secrets. You must try to avoid getting caught up in the moment." She pauses. "Look at you. So innocent and sweet. How could anyone ever believe that your soul is anything other than the whitest white? How could anyone think you have darkness in your heart?"
"But I do," I reply.
"No," she says, "you do not."
"I do!" I insist. "You know me so little. You keep saying that I am innocent and sweet, but you know nothing! You have no idea what I was like before I came to Devil's Briar."
"Nor do I need to know," she says. "If you have done things in the past that you would prefer not to have known, then you must slip them from your own heart. Let us assume for a moment that this gentleman can reach into your mind and learn your darkest secrets. Why, the best response is surely to accept that they are not secrets at all. Let them fly away, and then this man will find nothing when he tries to understand you." She smiles as she wipes away my tears. "The only power this man can have, is the power that you have given him. So deny him that power and let him see that you are free of influence."
I stare at her, and I find myself desperately wishing that I could share her simple way of seeing the world. If only what she says could be true, life would be so much easier. But she does not know the depths of John Saxon's enmity, nor does she understand the darkness of my life before I came to Devil's Briar.
"Come now," she says, pushing open the door to my room, "let me see -" She pauses as she sees my wedding dress. "Oh, Victoria, it is the most beautiful thing," she says, stepping forward. "I cannot begin to imagine how wonderful you will look once you are wearing such a creation."
"It's just an old dress that I borrowed from Mrs. Pressman," I say, sniffing back tears.
"An old dress is so much better than a new one," Lilith replies, running her hands over the fabric. "There is history in this dress, my dear. We live in a small town, and few people have the money to buy a dress. This fabric has been worn by almost every woman who has married in Devil's Briar over the past few decades. Now, Victoria, you are to join this great tradition." She smiles as she looks deep into my eyes. "At the moment, Victoria, you feel like an outsider in Devil's Briar. But when you wear this dress and marry Mr. Caster, you shall no longer feel that way. You'll finally feel that you're a part of the town. You'll feel as if this is your home."
I take a deep breath, desperately hoping that she's right. "I have felt lost for so long," I say, remembering the days when I lived with my parents. I used to play hide and seek with my mother, and I never had a care in the world. I thought I would always be happy, and I thought I would always have a home and a family.
"Let me see you wearing the dress," Lilith says. "It is not long now until you are to meet Mr. Caster for the ceremony. We must take our time ensuring that you look as beautiful as possible, though I am quite certain that the task will not be onerous, for your natural beauty will shine through."
I push the door closed and I allow her to help me put the dress back on. While traveling with my uncle, I have missed the ability to talk to a woman. Every time we have gone to a new town, women have been distrustful of our presence, and I have never truly been able to make friends. Now, finally, I feel I am on the verge of a great change, as if I wi
ll be able to have not only a husband but also a place within a community. If my uncle is to be believed, John Saxon will soon be dealt with, and I will be able to get on with my life as Mrs. Albert Caster. It sounds too good to be true, but there is one very important thing that I have learned over the years: my uncle is always right, and he never fails to get exactly what he wants.
Chapter Four
Today
"We've searched this area," Ed says as he runs his finger across the map. "Every inch of the damn place, and there's nothing there. We've checked the GPS coordinates a dozen times, and there's nothing. All through the -"
"You're wrong," I say. "It's right there."
"I swear to God, Paula, it's not." He pauses. "You know me. I wouldn't make a mistake like this. When I tell you that there's nothing there, it means there's nothing there. I'm not doubting for a moment that you really did find Devil's Briar last time you were up here, but there must have been a fault with the data you recorded, because it sure as hell isn't anywhere near here."
Sitting in the breakfast room of the motel near Florence, Colorado, I stare at the map. It's been less than an hour since I finally arrived, and my hopes of resolving this situation quickly have already been dashed. It's pretty obvious that something has gone wrong with the recording of information about Devil's Briar. I can't help thinking that somewhere, there's a very simple mistake that can explain everything. The key is simply to find that mistake and fix it, and then Ed and his team should be able to go find the place, while I'll head back to California. If I'm lucky, everything will be sorted out in time for me to get out of here tonight.
"So what did you find right here?" I ask, putting my finger on the map over the exact spot where I know Devil's Briar is located.
"A clearing," he says. "A large, open expanse of land with no trees. My best guess is that some loggers must have -"
"No way," I reply. "Why would loggers come up here, take trees from a single patch of land, and then never come back again? It makes no sense." I sigh. Whatever's going on here, there remains a basic fact that can't be doubted: an entire town can't just vanish. Devil's Briar is here, and somehow Ed and the others have managed to miss it. I'm getting a little annoyed right now, because I feel that this is a faintly ridiculous problem, and it's obvious that there's only one way to resolve things.
"So what do we do?" Ed asks.
"I'll take you there," I reply.
"Are you sure?"
"What choice do I have?" I turn to him. "If I don't, Bill's as good as dead, so I have to take you up there, but -" I pause, staring at Ed. "You have to promise me something," I continue. "You have to swear to God that this isn't some kind of trick. You have to promise me that you and Bill haven't cooked up this little scheme to get me back here, because I promise you, Ed, if you -"
"Why the hell would I do that?" he asks, interrupting me. "Maybe I could see Bill doing something stupid to get your attention. But me? No way, Paula. You know me better than that, don't you?"
I take a deep breath, looking at the map. Something about this situation doesn't make sense. A town like Devil's Briar doesn't just disappear; equally, an experienced academic like Ed doesn't get things so catastrophically wrong.
"We might as well get going," Ed says, getting to his feet. "One way or another, I want to get to the bottom of this before it gets dark."
"Sure," I reply, standing up and following him out to the truck that's part by the front of the motel. Whereas Bill and I originally came up to Devil's Briar with very limited resources, Ed was able to borrow some seriously impressive equipment from the university. His truck is loaded with some of the most advanced imaging and scanning tools around, and I'm quite sure that he'll be getting daily phone calls from Dr. Heller to make sure that this kit is being put to good use. Every day spent out here, searching for Devil's Briar, is another day that the university has to spend money on the project. Although he hasn't said anything, I'm certain that Ed must be under pressure from Heller to deliver Devil's Briar or head home.
"You've met Dr. Reuben Cole," Ed says, as a white-haired man climbs out of the back of the truck. Dr. Cole was the man who was looking after Victoria Paternoster at the Maygold Neurological Institute in Boston. Having been fascinated by the story of Devil's Briar, he's taken time out from his regular work to come and see the town for himself.
"Thank you for coming," Dr. Cole says. "We've just about given up hope."
"If we don't find the place in the next twenty-four hours," Ed says, turning to me, "we're going to have to go home. Forget about Devil's Briar for a moment. Bill's up here somewhere, and we need to find him. This is turning into a rescue mission."
"You don't have to keep reminding me," I say.
"I don't think you've met Lawrence yet," Ed says. "Reuben, have you seen Lawrence?"
"He went to the vending machine," Dr. Cole replies, just as a youngish guy wanders over with a huge load of candy in his arms.
"Paula Mitchell," Ed says, "I'd like you to meet our driver and general dogsbody, Mr. Lawrence Evans."
"Pleased to meet you," Lawrence says, with a glint in his eye. I can immediately tell that he's the kind of guy you have to keep an eye on; he seems like trouble, and I'm not entirely sure how and why Ed has brought him up here. This is a serious scientific expedition, yet Ed seems to have entrusted the driving to some random guy whose eyes seem to be immediately drawn to my chest.
"Likewise," I say, watching as Lawrence loads his candy mountain into the truck.
"Snacks," Lawrence says, winking at me before he heads around to the driver's door.
A few minutes later, we're on the road. The truck bounces along, heading deeper and deeper into the Colorado wilderness. After a while, I find myself recognizing certain landmarks, and I'm quite certain that we're on the right path. Double-checking my GPS tracker, I see that we're bang on target for Devil's Briar. So far, so good. All I need to do is make sure Ed and his team are able to find the location, and then I can get out of here. I certainly have no intention of hanging around in this place, especially given my desire to keep as far away from Bill as possible.
"Does this look like the right road?" Ed asks after a while.
"Definitely," I say. "Is it the same road you took before?"
He nods. "According to the GPS coordinates you gave us, we should be about three hours from the town."
"Sounds right to me," I reply, turning to look out the window. Mile upon mile of woodland flashes past, and after a while I start to fall asleep. Having barely slept last night, I'm exhausted and it's as if my body has just decided to give up and finally let me rest. I dream about Bill, and I see him standing in the old hotel at Devil's Briar. It's a strange moment, and one that sends a shiver down my spine. The dream seems to last forever, with Bill leading me on a chase through the hotel's corridors, until finally I realize that Ed is nudging me awake.
"We're here," he says.
"Where?" I ask drowsily.
"Where do you think?" he asks.
Looking out the window, I see Devil's Briar. We've found the place, and Ed can see - at last - that it's real. Feeling a knot in my stomach, I get out of the truck and stare at the buildings. I swear, it feels like a million years since the last time I was here, and now I find myself wondering if Bill is still working his way through the ruins.
"What happened?" I ask as Ed comes to stand next to me. "You said you couldn't find it before."
He holds up his GPS tracker. "I swear to God," he says, "I've stood in this exact spot before, and there was nothing here. No town, no nothing. But now... I don't get it. I don't get what's different this time." After a moment, he turns to me. "Except... you're here, Paula."
"You think that has something to do with it?" I ask sceptically.
"I'm not saying that," he replies, "but I know I've stood in this spot and there's been no sign of the town." He turns to the truck, where Lawrence and Dr. Cole are already unloading equipment. "Hey, guys! Tell Paula how we stood
here before and didn't see the town!"
"There must have been some mistake previously," Dr. Cole says, carrying a spectrometer over to us. "No matter how strange the situation might seem, there can be no doubt that there's a rational explanation."
"Let's get going," Lawrence says, lugging a large bag from the back of the truck. "The sooner we get started, the sooner we're finished."
"Lawrence is here to assist with carrying equipment," Ed explains. "He's not a member of the faculty, so he has little interest in the academic side of the project."
"So I see," I reply. "Listen, here's the thing. I've helped you find Devil's Briar now, so maybe it's best if I just get back to the town. Maybe you can drive me?"
"Sure," Ed replies. "Just let me set up the -"
"Can you do it now?" I ask. "I know it's inconvenient, but I don't really want to run into Bill again. You understand, right?"
He pauses for a moment. "Sure," he says. "Listen, I'll cut you a deal. Wait by the truck while the rest of us carry the equipment into the center, and then I'll drive you back. Okay?"
It takes them nearly half an hour to get all the equipment out of the truck. I give them directions, and then I wait while they head into Devil's Briar. Ed is under strict instructions to not mention to Bill that I'm here, and I'm pretty sure I can trust him to stick to his word. After all, he knows that my relationship with Bill is over, and that it would just be an unnecessary complication if I got drawn back into this world again. I've done my part, and now all I have to do is wait for Ed to come and take me back to the nearest town. As the minutes tick by, however, I can't help wondering what's taking them so long, and eventually I find myself starting to worry. It's certainly not impossible that something might have gone wrong, and I'm dreading the thought that somehow I might get dragged yet again into the story of this godforsaken town. I've already had to put back a couple of job interviews in San Francisco; if I have to put them back again, I'll start looking like some kind of flake.
