by Amy Cross
And that's when she saw it.
Over by the edge of the clearing, next to one of the smaller trees, there was a body. Something dead.
Eva's first reaction was to turn and run, but she managed to make herself stay calm. Her heart was racing, but she could already tell from the shape and size that the body obviously wasn't human. Instead, as she stepped closer, she saw that it was a small deer. She'd seen deer in the woods from time to time, although she'd never seen a dead one before. This one, though, seemed to have been ripped apart. As she got to within a few feet, she could see that its neck and most of its torso had been torn away, exposing blood and bone, while two of its legs appeared to have been chewed. The creature's head was mostly intact, although there was a pair of deep round holes just below its jawbone, and the animal's eyes and mouth were wide open, as if it had died screaming.
Slowly, Eva turned to look back at the tree. She was certain that this deer hadn't been here earlier, and she was also sure that these woods weren't filled with predators. Although it pained her to think such a thing, she couldn't shake the idea that perhaps her soldier had climbed down and killed the animal. He must have been so desperate for food, and so crazed with pain, that he used his bare hands to rip the beast apart. For a moment, she imagined him wrestling the deer, forcing it to the ground and pummeling it into submission; as she pictured him ripping the animal's flesh apart and eating its raw meat, she couldn't help but shudder.
Glancing at the cucumber sandwiches, Eva suddenly realized that her own offering seemed pitiful in comparison to the feast that the soldier had caught for himself. Whereas she'd previously assumed that the soldier was weak and frail, now she began to imagine him as something altogether stronger. If he could bring down a deer, even one that looked to be relatively young and small, he must be fairly powerful. In which case, she wondered, why was he still hiding up in a tree? Was he recovering from his wounds, or was he scared of something? Or was he just waiting?
Without saying another word, Eva turned and began to make her way home. She was starting to think that her understanding of this situation might not be quite right, and while she was glad that she'd taken food out to the soldier, she felt that it might be dangerous to go again. Walking faster and faster, she eventually broke into a run and, by the time she reached the back gate, she was out of breath. Hurrying through the garden, where the grass was once again wet underfoot, she got to the back door and was just about to reach out to grab the handle when she heard a noise nearby. She froze, not daring to look back, until finally she heard another noise, closer this time, and she spun around.
There was nothing.
She stood on the back step and stared across the garden, her eyes fixed on the dark woods. She almost expected to see a figure moving between the trees, but there was nothing. The soldier hadn't followed her at all. In fact, he was probably barely even aware of her existence. Feeling a little relieved, Eva slipped quietly back into the house, making double-sure that the door was locked behind her.
Chapter Four
Standing in the doorway, Eva watched her mother sleep.
It was almost 2am, and although it was more than an hour since she'd got back from the woods, Eva still felt wide awake and restless. She wanted to go and climb into bed with her mother, but she was worried that she might face a barrage of questions. For one thing, Eva felt like she smelled of the forest, and for another she knew that her mother could always tell when she was lying. There was also the fact that her mother was sleeping so peacefully, which was something of a miracle given that the funeral had only ended a few hours earlier.
"Are you awake?" Eva whispered, even though she knew it was a bad idea.
There was no reply.
"Are you awake?" she asked again, raising her voice a little more.
Again, no reply.
Glancing at the bedside table, Eva spotted a pill bottle. With a heavy heart, she realized that her mother was using sleeping pills again, which meant it'd be almost impossible to wake her. Whenever stress got on top of her, Eva's mother always took to the pill bottle, with the result that she ended up sleeping long and hard. It was at times like this, with her mother virtually impossible to rouse, that Eva felt as if she was completely alone in the house.
Heading through to her own room, Eva pushed the door shut and decided that she should probably just go to bed and try to close her eyes for a while. A week after her father's death, she was still waiting to cry properly, and right now she was expecting the tears to ambush her at any moment. She was worried about bursting into tears while she was out in public, so she figured it'd be better to make it happen in the safety of her own room. She wanted to cry, to get it over with. Now that her mother didn't cry all the time, Eva felt that there might be some spare tears left for her.
Unfortunately, no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't quite manage to make the tears come. Even when she spat on her hand and wiped the saliva into the corner of her eyes, she knew it wasn't real. She blinked a couple of times, trying to wash the saliva all over her eyeball and maybe kick-start the tears, but it was no use. She could only conclude that she was obviously a very bad daughter, and that she hadn't loved her father enough. She wished, on reflection, that she was a better person.
Before going to bed, she walked over to the window. Staring out across the back garden, she focused on the woods. The whole scene looked so calm and peaceful, with moonlight streaming through the faint mist that drifted between the trees. Eva found it hard to believe that, just an hour ago, she was out there all alone. There was still a part of her that hoped she might one day be able to leave the house behind completely and live permanently in the woods, and she felt that the big day was slowly getting closer. There really wasn't much that she liked in the world, and she felt there was little point forcing herself to hang around other people when she knew she'd be happier living in the woods.
"One day," she whispered. "I'll be a much better -"
Suddenly she stopped speaking, as she saw movement out in the forest. Although she immediately told herself that it must be a deer or some other kind of animal, the tightening sensation in her heart told her that it was something more. She watched as, slowly, a dark shape moved awkwardly between the trees, coming closer and closer until finally it stopped on the very edge of the forest, just a few feet from the garden fence.
The soldier. Her soldier.
Eva waited for the figure to come through the garden gate, but instead it just seemed to be waiting. It was clearly a human figure, even though there was something a little odd about its shape. It seemed to be hunched over a little and crooked, and its walk was affected by a pronounced limp. As she stared, Eva was convinced that the figure would push the garden gate open at any moment, but instead it looked as if something was forcing it to keep back. Although she was still nervous, Eva's heart-rate started to settle a little as she lost her fear that the figure might come all the way up to the back of the house.
As the minutes ticked past, Eva became more and more convinced that the figure was watching her, and perhaps waiting for her. It was too dark outside, and the end of the garden was too far away, for her to make out any details on the figure's face, but she felt quite certain that its eyes were fixed on her. Once again, she was overcome by the feeling that somehow the soldier's mind was reaching out to her, and she could almost feel those tentacles slipping deeper than ever into her mind. She focused on trying to make the soldier leave her alone, and gradually the sensation began to fade. Whatever had just happened, it made her feel a little stronger, as if she wasn't entirely defenseless.
Eventually, after what felt like an eternity, the figure turned and limped back into the forest, as if it had finally given up waiting for her. Eva stood and watched it go, and in some strange way she felt as if she'd just scored a victory. There was nothing stopping the figure from coming closer, but she'd managed to face it down and make it see that it wasn't welcome. Although she'd previously wanted to hel
p the soldier, she was starting to seriously doubt whether he was the good kind of soldier. Her father had been a good soldier, but she knew there were bad soldiers in the world. Her father would never have killed a deer with his bare hands, or rejected cucumber sandwiches, or refused to even say thank you, or come up to someone's house in the middle of the night.
All she wanted right now was for the visitor to go away forever, which she assumed he'd do as soon as he'd healed up enough to get moving. She figured she merely had to keep out of the woods for a week or two, and eventually the soldier would leave her alone and go somewhere far away.
Chapter Five
"Don't you want to go and play in the woods?"
Looking over at her mother, Eva realized this was the question she'd been dreading. It had been almost two weeks since she'd last been out beyond the garden gate, and she'd slowly learned to have fun in the house. Well, 'fun' was a strong word, but at least she was able to amuse herself, and she'd almost managed to make herself forget about the soldier who'd been living in the tree. In the back of her mind, she'd been aware that she perhaps needed to venture back out there some time and double-check that he was gone, but she'd been putting that day off for as long as possible until...
"Did something happen out there?" her mother continued, putting some more plates in the dish-washer. It was clear that she'd noticed the change in Eva's behavior, and she was obviously curious. After seeming a little vague and zombie-like in the weeks immediately after the funeral, her mother was starting to get back to her old self.
"What do you mean?" Eva asked, worried that her mother somehow knew about the soldier.
"It's just that you always used to go out there, but these days you seem so... Well, you just seemed to stop very suddenly. I just wanted to make sure there's no problem."
"There's no problem. I just felt like sitting inside and reading."
For the next few minutes, Eva sat in silence and continued to read her book. Eventually, however, her mother sat next to her and started watching silently. Eva tried to ignore her, but she knew there'd be more questions eventually.
"Are you worried about something, sweetheart?"
Eva shook her head.
"You know you can tell me, don't you?"
Eva nodded.
"If something's bothering you, I want you to talk to me about it, okay? This is a very difficult time for both of us. I just don't want you to be scared."
"Of what?" Eva asked.
Her mother took a deep breath. "I've been meaning to talk to you about this, sweetheart. What happened to your father happened in a very particular place, at a very particular time. He was in an extremely dangerous situation, but I don't want you to think that the whole world is like that." She paused, waiting for Eva to respond. "The point is, I don't want you to shutter yourself away in the house all the time. I know I can maybe be a little over-protective sometimes, but I think it's important that we both learn to face the world again. You know Daddy wouldn't like to think of you sitting around the house, scared to go outside, right? He'd want you to go out there and have fun. Don't you remember how he'd always tell me to stop fussing so much?"
Eva nodded.
"He used to laugh at me for being worried when you went into the woods," her mother continued, with tears in her eyes. "He used to say that I was too fussy, that I wanted to seal you up in a plastic bubble and never let you really touch the world." She paused again, as if she was finding it difficult to speak. "Maybe he was right. Just... don't be scared, okay? The world really isn't that scary, sweetheart. I think it'd be good for you to get back out there once or twice and remember that. I want to see you having fun again."
Eva looked over at the back door. For a moment, it occurred to her that maybe she should tell her mother all about the soldier. After all, her mother would know what to do. Then again, Eva also felt that it was her own job to deal with her fear. She imagined her father sitting at the table, watching her and feeling disappointed that she was so scared. Even though she was worried, Eva could feel herself getting ready to go back out into the woods. She felt that she had to know if the soldier had left, or if he'd died in the tree. She'd delayed this moment long enough.
"I might go out now," she said, her voice filled with tension.
"I didn't mean you have to drop what you're doing," her mother replied. "I just meant, in general, you should do the things you like doing. Ease back into things slowly."
"I want to go out," Eva said, closing her book and standing up. "I won't be long, I just need to... I just want to go and take a look."
"Be back in an hour," her mother said. "I'm making pancakes."
Nodding, Eva leaned forward and gave her mother a hug, before turning and walking over to the back door.
"Hey, remember not to talk to strangers," her mother added suddenly. "That rule still applies, sweetheart, okay? If you see anyone out there, just come straight home. Deal?"
Eva nodded.
"And sweetheart... Can you stop unplugging the phone? I know why you do it, but there's no need. Not anymore."
Eva nodded again, before opening the back door and stepping out into the garden. Not only had she avoided the woods over the past few weeks, she'd also avoided the garden, figuring that she didn't want to be seen by the soldier. She couldn't shake the feeling that he might still be out there somewhere, keeping an eye on her house, and for that reason she'd also kept away from her bedroom window. Then again, she reminded herself, the soldier was probably all healed by now, and he'd probably moved on. Why would he stick around here, living in a tree?
Once she'd gone beyond the garden gate, Eva started walking through the woods. This place used to feel like a second home to her, and she'd once hoped to live out here forever, but now it felt strange, as if she was walking on the surface of an alien world. The dead feeling, which she'd first felt around the old oak tree, seemed to have spread a lot further, and it felt like night even though the sun was high in the afternoon sky. As she walked, Eva realized that she saw and heard no signs of life: no moths or flies in the air; no insects; no sounds up in the trees. Even the breeze seemed to be dead out here, and the whole forest was bathed in an eerie, light blue mist that hung languidly in the air. The only sound came from Eva's bare feet as she walked across the dry, brittle grass.
Finally, in the distance, she saw the old oak tree, the heart of the forest. This, at least, seemed not to have changed, and in fact its leaves looked to be bigger and more numerous than ever. As Eva emerged into the clearing, she felt as if the air itself was completely still, and she glanced to one side and saw that not only was the dead deer still on the ground, but there were a couple more nearby, all of them in an advanced state of decomposition. This made Eva feel a little better, since it appeared that the soldier was no longer feasting. In fact, as Eva looked back over at the tree, she realized that there was no sense of anyone being here at all. It was as if all life had completely left the area.
When she reached the tree, Eva stopped and looked up into the branches. Even today, when the sun was out, the tree seemed strangely dark, as if light was either being scared away, or drawn deep inside. Staring up into the darkness, Eva tried to detect any sign of life up there, but there was nothing. It was as if the tree was now, finally, completely empty.
She began to relax as she realized that the soldier was almost certainly gone. Still, there was only one way to be certain, and it required Eva to be braver than she'd ever been before. Unable to shake the image of her father from her mind, she realized that he'd be disappointed in her if she didn't go and check properly. She'd long dreamed of climbing this tree, and now she felt it was time. After all, if she didn't go up there, she'd spend the rest of her life wondering if there might still be a soldier hiding somewhere in the branches.
"Dear God," she whispered, "if I climb this tree and take a look, do you promise I won't fall, and that nothing else will happen to me?"
She waited. She knew there'd be no answer,
but she still wanted to give God time to hear her message and hopefully agree. She'd never really thought much about God before, but right now she was counting on him to keep an eye on her and make sure that nothing bad happened.
Realizing that she was delaying the inevitable, she cautiously reached up and grabbed one of the lower branches. Lifting a leg and gaining purchase on the trunk, she summoned all the strength in her body and slowly raised herself up until she could grab hold of the lower branches properly, at which point she hauled herself up a little further and managed to wriggle onto part of the split trunk. Looking back down, she realized that she was already a couple of meters off the ground, and for a moment she felt slightly dizzy until finally she reminded herself that she needed to just get on with the climb. Besides, if she got all the way to the top, she might finally be able to look out and see the whole world, even the far-off part where the wars happened.
Holding herself steady, and still terrified of falling, she reached up and grabbed the next branch, and slowly she climbed up a little higher. She double-checked, even triple-checked every move she made. Turning and glancing over her shoulder, she saw that although it was dark up here in the tree, there didn't seem to be anyone or anything else up here. She tried to imagine what it must have been like for the soldier to have lived up here, and she figured it must have been pretty miserable. Wherever he was now, he was probably having a much better time, unless he'd been caught by whoever was after him. The weird part was that she knew she'd never find out the truth; if the soldier had left, she'd never know how he ended up in the tree or what happened to him next.
