‘I can pay for our lodgings until I find my mother’s kin. Please can we stay?’
‘Aye, lass you can stay. Now, what about summat warming for you and the babe?’ I reached into my box and pulled out the goat’s milk. I held it out to her for warming. I had no idea how to give it, I had no bottles or teats but I needn’t have worried my kind hostess dripped the drops from her little finger into Beth’s waiting mouth.
‘She don’t like it much, do she?’
She didn’t ask why I wasn’t able to feed her myself.
Mrs Makepiece shared her rich meaty soup with me and for the first time that day I began to warm. I could see her looking at my worker’s hands and the clumsy way I tried to hold Beth.
‘Your first be it?’
‘Aye, my husband was a fisherman and he died in an accident some months gone,’ I lied. She just looked at me and nodded.
‘Well, I’ve brought up three strapping lads and they’ve all gone out into the world to make their way so I am glad of your company child.’
‘D’you know of a wet-nurse for hire hereabouts? I have been unwell and have no milk to give the babe.’
‘You could go to the workhouse and ask,’ she said. I think little Beth will take the milk if we put some honey in it and you look a mite weary lass, why not rest up tonight and we will try and find someone tomorrow.’ I blinked back grateful tears as Mrs Makepiece showed me to a small but comfortable room. It had a deep chest in one corner and we made a little nest for Beth inside it. I sank into the bed and fell into a fitful sleep.
I kept waking, listening for Beth’s tiny breaths and snuffles. I couldn’t escape the sight of Becca’s poor, limp body lying amongst the reeds in the dirty cold grey water. My tears soaked the sheets that held me in a deathly shroud as I struggled to escape from drowning. The night was so very long and my leg ached badly and the child needed more of the goat’s milk and honey – I couldn’t sleep without dreaming so stayed awake and watched the dawn break quietly as the same painful thoughts kept running through my mind. How would I manage, would people believe me? Mrs Makepiece clearly hadn’t in spite of her kindness. Would I be taken by the Justices as a vagrant or a tramper? Would I have to go into the workhouse? If Becca’s story came out would I have to give up my little Beth? When I left Coad Farm it had all seemed so simple – just put as much distance as possible between us and them. I hadn’t given a thought to the Justices or the the constable. If my as yet unknown family didn’t want me I would never be able to settle down. My little pile of money would not go far. I got up and opened the bag the master had given me. I’d asked for fifty guineas, so I wept as I counted out only thirty-five pounds. I was so bitter that I spent the next few hours plotting my revenge before realising that I wouldn’t be able to stand against him or his family; I would have to be a bit cleverer.
There was a knock on the door as Mrs Makepiece brought a bowl with some hot water and clean rags. ‘I’m thinking you will want to wash the little mite and give her a bit of a clean, like. I’ve made some thin gruel with the milk and a spot of honey, it will keep her happy while you take care of your business,’ she said kindly. ‘I’ve a mind to look out some of my boys’ baby clothes – I was keeping them for any grandchildren but I don’t reckon they’re coming yet awhile.’ Tears streamed down my face as I thanked her. She didn’t ask any questions just took over the washing and tidying. As she worked she talked to little Beth who was trying to grasp my finger.
Chapter Five
The workhouse was a dark, foreboding building with lots of little square windows facing onto the busy street. I stood opposite watching for a few minutes. I determined that I would speak firmly, not cry, and I would make them think I was a young woman of respectable habit. I thought of my poor pa and ma – they were respectable folk before they died. Pa was an apothecary’s assistant and knew so much more about life than most who came knocking on our door – even the quality. He could read and write and had taught my ma her letters when they first met.
After they died I wished I’d asked them about their young lives but I never had. We were so busy in our little home over the shop, we lived in the present not the past. Ma did all her own baking and making and we sold quite a lot of produce with the creams and unguents that pa made up. We had a garden out back and we grew herbs as well as some foodstuff. I shook myself out of my reverie. I had problems enough now without looking backwards.
I banged on the door. A slovenly woman appeared, wiping her hands on a dirty cloth.
‘Aye?’
‘I’m here to see the overseer, can you direct me?’ My voice sounded high and unnatural but I faced her bold look down.
‘He’s out back,’ she jabbed her thumb in the direction of the yard.
‘Thank you.’
A well-built man shambled into sight, his shoulders stooped over an enormous belly.
‘Are you in charge?’
‘Aye, what can I do for ’ee?’
‘I’ve urgent need of a wet-nurse. Have you anyone suitable here?’
He scratched his heavily-veined and bulbous nose with a dirty finger nail. ‘Well, not ’ere but Mary-Jane Turvey was taken on by Missus Elwood, out at Southover and I heard that the baby ’twere born dead, like.’
I looked at his dirty clothes, ‘Is she clean?’
‘Aye, she is now m’dear otherwise she wouldn’t have been let in,’ he laughed. ‘But she weren’t before that. We had to shave her head to get rid of the crawlers.’
I gasped, but wasn’t too surprised. ‘Can you direct me please, my need is urgent.’
He looked at me carefully, speculating. ‘Who sent you here missus, where you from?’
I could feel my knees quake. ‘Missus Makepiece, of Keere Street.’
‘Oh aye,’ he seemed to make up his mind at her name. ‘I’ll send a young lad to shows you the way then.’
He shouted at the woman who’d opened the door, ‘Alice! Call Billy-alone.’
A skinny boy trotted round the corner, pulling up in front of me but keeping his eyes to the ground.
‘Take this young… um… lady to South Farm and then come straight back, mind you, no hanging about.’ The overseer cuffed the boy round the side of his head as he spoke.
I thanked him and followed the lad.
Chapter Six
Billy-alone skipped in front of me, waiting impatiently when I couldn’t keep up.
‘Wait,’ I gasped. ‘I can’t go so fast’
‘Wa’s s’matter with ’ee foot?’
‘There’s naught wrong with my foot. It’s my leg, I was born with it crooked like.’
‘Do it hurt?’
I fell into his way of speaking as I replied, ‘aye, it do betimes, usually when I have been stood awhiles.’
He grunted and slowed into step with me.
‘What do you want with them at South Farm?’
‘I need a wet-nurse for my baby.’
‘Wa’s a wet-nurse?’
‘Someone who can feed the babe for me. Do you know the family there?’
‘No, but I heared that t’missus was a bit younger than Farmer Elwood, she be quality too.’
We struggled along the rutted track, he keeping pace with me, for which I was grateful.
‘Why do they call you Billy-alone?’ I asked curiously.
‘Me ma and sisters was all took with the pox and I was left all alone – Billy-alone, see?’
‘Do you live at the workhouse then?’
‘Na, I live all over,’ he said airily ‘but I help out sometimes when the old man wants errands run. He’s too fat and lazy to run around. I get me food and sometimes a bed – depends how full they are. I don’ want to live in one place, they thinks they owns you. I’m alright as I am.’ He looked sideways at me and grinned. ‘Where d’you live?’
I told him I was lodging with Missus Makepiece until I could find my family and then, suddenly we rounded a bend in the lane and South Farm came into sight. I turned to Billy a
nd thanked him for showing me the way.
‘I’ll wait for ye.’
‘You mustn’t get into trouble for me.’
‘I’s me own man. I’ll wait.’
I smiled. ‘See you awhiles then.’
I walked up the track towards an orchard. I could see the upper floors of an imposing house. A brick pathway channelled me towards the front door but as I followed it I heard a noise – I thought it was a sob so I turned aside into a small, enclosed garden. A young woman was standing staring into a well. She was sobbing piteously and jumped as she saw me approach.
‘Who are you?’
‘I’m sorry to intrude ma’am but I am sorely in need of help and I understand you have a young woman here – a wet-nurse?’
The young woman burst into a fresh bout of sobbing; she wailed and I reached for her. ‘Hush, hush, what is it, can I help? Let me help you.’
‘No one can help me’ she sobbed. ‘My baby died in my arms, she was so little. I can’t bear it, I want to die too. I was going to throw myself down the well but I didn’t have the courage.’
I held her tight, hoping to calm her down. She was very hot and flushed. ‘Is there anyone here with you?’ I asked. ‘You need to be resting. When?’
‘Yesterday,’ she whispered.
‘Come, let’s get you inside… hold on to me, just a little way.’
I thumped on the door whilst trying to hold the girl up.
‘Help!’ I called, but there was no response from inside the gloomy building.
‘Can we get in round the back?’ I queried.
‘Yes, they will be in the pot room and probably can’t hear. My husband’s gone for the doctor.’
I couldn’t understand how anyone could leave such a young girl alone after birthing but she said she had slipped out to get cool and no one had missed her. We stumbled to a stable door at the back of the house where a group of servants looked up as we made our way inside.
I raised my voice, ‘I need cool water and towels, quickly!’
They stared at me open-mouthed. One said, ‘Who are you?’
‘Never mind who I am; your mistress needs help, now.’
‘Where is your room?’ I asked the girl.
A coarse featured woman pushed in front of me. ‘I’ll take her.’
‘No, show me where it is, hurry, and bring the water and towels.’
Eventually, we got the girl onto her bed and I stripped her nightwear off her. She was burning hot and I washed her down as gently as I could with the cooling water.
Gradually, she calmed and allowed me to soothe her face with a wet flannel.
‘Have you some cordial, something sweet, perhaps with honey?’ I asked the women who were now crowding into the room.
‘Aye, Cilla, go fetch the blackcurrant cordial,’ the woman who seemed to be in charge instructed a girl who was trying to peer round the door.
I hadn’t forgotten my purpose in coming to this house and addressing myself to the woman I asked if the wet-nurse was nearby.
‘I sent her out to bring the vegetables from the kitchen garden. What do you want with she? She’m no help to the missus.’
‘I came here to ask if I can make use of her services for my baby as I heard that her charge had died.’ I turned away from young Mrs Elwood as I said this, not wanting to cause her further distress.
‘My master has contracted her to stay for a month.’ The woman’s manner was surly. ‘She will be used in the kitchens for that time.’
She clearly resented my presence and I realised I wasn’t going to get any other response from her. I turned back to the bed and continued swabbing the young girl and holding the drink to her lips.
She clung to me and whispered ‘Do you have a baby?’
‘Yes, a little girl, she is only a day old and I have no milk to give her.’
‘Where is she?’
‘I have left her with Missus Makepiece in Keere Street. She is feeding her with goat’s milk and honey.’
At that moment I heard heavy running footsteps and a large florid man charged into the room closely followed by someone I took to be the physician who spoke loudly. For a little man he had a large voice: ‘Stand aside, stand aside, let me see my patient.’
We all fell back.
‘What has happened here?’ shouted Farmer Elwood, clearly distressed. ‘Who the devil are you?’
The unfriendly housekeeper barged in front of me and I tripped, falling on to the edge of the bed. My young charge held onto my hand and gripped me tighter. ‘John, she helped me. I wanted to die, I went to the well and came over all faint. She fetched me back and helped me. Oh, John, my baby… Where is she? Can I see her again, before it’s too late?’
The poor man knelt down on the floor at her side and wept. ‘She is downstairs my darling. We will bury her soon, probably tomorrow, you can see her anytime you like.’
Mrs Elwood looked at me. ‘What is your name?’ She touched my face gently as she asked.
‘Esther, my name is Esther.’
‘John, Esther needs the wet-nurse, we must help her with her little girl – she is only a day old. My baby has died but we must help this one live. John, I want this, you must help.’
The doctor nodded discretely to the farmer. He looked at me saying, ‘sensible young lady you are, getting her temperature down, dangerous fever after childbirth, can be fatal.’
The farmer rounded on the servants who were still clustered round the door. ‘And where were you when your mistress needed you? Gossiping, I bet. Aye I’ve seen you all supping in the kitchen when you should be doing your work. Get out, all of you, get out.’
They all scurried away, except the housekeeper, who tilted her head up and asked what instructions the doctor had for her to help Madam.
‘He’ll give you no instructions Mrs Fisher – you will not be needed in this room. Get back to the kitchen and see about a good light meal for my lady – and her – what’s your name girl?’
‘Esther, sir.’
I am indebted to you Esther, these fools couldn’t be trusted to care for my girl, I was only gone an hour.’ He covered his face with his big strong hands and began to shake.
‘John,’ the doctor placed his hand on the farmer’s shoulder. ‘The immediate danger is passed, but your wife needs to be kept calm and peaceful. A gentle light diet,’ he patted the girl’s hand. ‘Plenty of time for you to have others m’dear.’
The poor young woman buried her face in the pillow sobbing piteously. I could have cried with her at his bluntness but it wasn’t unkindly said. The farmer turned to his wife and said as gently as a man ever could, ‘what if we ask Esther and her baby to stay here with you? She can look after you and get you back to fitness and the baby can suckle with the wet-nurse. Have you family Esther, could you stay with us for a while ‘til my lady recovers?’
I gasped ‘But master, you know nothing about me, I am that grateful but I only have one person who can speak for me: Missus Makepiece.’
‘I have seen enough girl, you were a Godsend to me and mine this day. Stay with us and care for my girl. Besides, if Mrs Makepiece has the care of your child now it is as good as a character reference.’
Chapter Seven
Puerperal fever commonly begins with a rigor or chilliness on the first, second, or third day after delivery, followed by a violent pain and soreness over the belly. There is much thirst; pain in the head, chiefly in the forehead and parts about the eyebrows; a flushing in the face; anxiety; a hot dry skin; quick and weak pulse, though sometimes it will resist the finger pretty strongly; a shortness in breathing; high coloured urine, and a suppression of the natural discharge. Sometimes a vomiting and purging attend from the first, but, in general, in the beginning, the belly is costive: however, when the disease proves fatal, a diarrhoea generally supervenes, and the stools at last involuntary. The case of this fever has been commonly ascribed either to a suppression of the natural discharge, an inflammation in the womb or a retent
ion of the milk.
MacKenzie’s Five Thousand Receipts in All the Useful and Domestic Arts
I can’t tell you what a surge of relief I felt – my troubles were over for the time being and my baby would thrive with a regular supply of food. I knew I could help Mrs Elwood, she was but a child herself and she wanted for nothing but a bit of love and tender care.
As the doctor took his leave he turned to me and asked curiously, ‘where did you learn to lower the temperature girl? Most people think it best to sweat out the bad humors.’
‘My pa, sir, he was an apothecary’s assistant and he had his own views on how to treat people.’
‘Your pa was a sensible man, Esther, and you are a sensible young lady.’ He left the room with Farmer Elwood.
The young woman, Mrs Elwood, tugged at my hand. ‘Esther, send for your baby now, we must get her fed.’
‘I must get her myself,’ I said. ‘Then I can explain. There is a young boy with me – I will send him on ahead to tell Missus Makepiece to expect me.’
‘No, no, tell Mrs Fisher to have the trap brought round. You must hurry, your baby needs you.’ She began to cry again, but gently now, her body not wracked by the sobbing.
‘I will be as quick as maybe, don’t fret. Try and drink some more cordial, I will be back soon.’
Chapter Eight
Well, Esther, my girl I wasn’t expecting you to come home by carriage!’
I laughed and for the first time in two days had the sense that things were easing. ‘How has Beth been, is she feeding?’
‘Well enough to get by but we need the wet-nurse girl, did you find one?’
‘Aye, I did that and I am to move into South Farm for the next month where she is fixed.’
‘Landsakes lass, how did that come about?’
After I had explained Mrs Makepiece threw her pinny over her face and laughed until tears came. ‘’Ee I am that sorry for the poor lass but you couldn’t have made a better bargain if you’d tried. And, as for that Mrs Fisher, she has got such airs and graces you’d think she was quality herself instead of a plain cook who ’as taken her mistress’s status to herself.’
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