by Lee Brainard
She enjoyed listening to Butch. He had a wonderful radio voice—once voted the best voice on California radio. More importantly, she appreciated his commentary on news and politics. He was his own man—a bit of a maverick—who followed no political or religious party line. On some issues he was right-leaning and others left-leaning, but on most he was an even-keeled independent. If he had a downside, it was his penchant for conspiracy theories and X-Files type stuff. He also had a man-crush fascination with a prophecy in the Bible—in the book of Ezekiel—about Russia. While the quirky stuff held little attraction for her, it did serve a useful purpose. It kept his program on the air. Most of his audience, judging by his callers, ate that stuff up. She snirkled—her whimsical and fleeting snorty-laugh—as she contemplated the gullibility of such folks. They were loose on the hinges and lived in their own little world, a conspiracy-infested world, where it was easier to catch a conspiracy than a cold. Overall she enjoyed his program. Whether she was nodding in agreement, or amused at his lunacy, or angered at one of his positions, he was always interesting enough to keep her awake—and on the road—while driving home at night.
He was on his Russia hobby-horse again. “Tonight we bring you more developments in our continuing coverage of the rise of the Gog and Magog juggernaut. If you are new to our program, Gog and Magog, along with Rosh and Tubal, are ancient peoples mentioned in the prophecy in Ezekiel 38-39 who inhabited the region from the Black Sea to the Baltic Sea. Over the twenty-six centuries since this prophecy, these peoples melded together, digested an inflow of Scandinavian peoples, and became the modern nation of Russia.
“As you already know, Russia annexed the eastern third of Ukraine five months ago. Now they are stretching their tentacles further. Over the past few weeks, the riots that roiled the East prior its annexation have introduced turmoil to many towns in the West. The cry of the rioters is ‘No divided Ukraine’ and this seems to resonate with the man on the street. There is a growing consensus among Ukrainians that it would be better to be united under Russian hegemony than divided. They regard the loss of freedom under Russian domination as more bearable than trying to exist under a West Ukraine and East Ukraine dichotomy.
“But Ukraine is not the only place in Europe where pro-Russia fomentation is upsetting the population. Over the past month, as we have reported on several occasions, pro-Russia riots have turned violent in major cities in Belarus and the Baltic states—Minsk, Vilnius, and Riga to name a few. This does not surprise me. We have been following the rise of both Belarusian and Baltic pro-Russia separatist groups for the past eight months. Whether the sleepwalkers in the West believe it or not, this hankering for a return to the glory of the Soviet Union—which I have dubbed Motherland-Spring—is rapidly spreading in the former Soviet satellites. Before it finishes running its course, every former satellite that is not completely integrated with the West will be given an ultimatum: either get crushed in a bloodbath or return to the Motherland.
“In the past seventy-two hours, we have received reports that the violence has turned up a notch in Belarus, Lithuania, and Latvia, with gunfights between regular army troops and the separatists. Our contact in Belarus, a former colonel in the Soviet army, claims that Russian Spetsnaz and SVR agents are working with the separatist groups, providing leadership, training, and weapons. This raises a frightening question. Will Belarus and the Baltic states fall to Russia as Crimea, the Donbass, and eastern Ukraine have fallen and western Ukraine appears poised to fall? In my estimation the answer is an emphatic yes. Not only do we see Russian-aided insurgency groups destabilizing Belarus and the Baltic states, but the Russian government is expanding and upgrading the supposedly decommissioned Smolensk North air base and amassing enormous amounts of troops and equipment there, including two armored divisions, two airborne divisions, and more than two hundred aircraft. And we see large numbers of troops and equipment being massed at another dozen locations along the Belarussian and Latvian borders. It does not take three decades of experience in the CIA with the Office of Russian and European Analysis to see that the Russian government is determined to link the landlocked archipelago of Kaliningrad with Mother Russia and gain access to the port at Riga. Whether they accomplish this with a mere show of force that intimidates Belarus and the Baltic states into capitulation, or whether they find it necessary to invade, rest assured, they will occupy these unfortunate states and make them vassals of the Russian Federation. Folks, this is going to happen. It’s only a matter of time. Come out of your stupor. Quit drinking that Neville Chamberlain Kool-Aid. Wake up. Russia is no more to be trusted than Nazi Germany.
“There are two other Russian stories in the news today. The first is that both Iran and Libya signed a mutual defense pact with Russia this week and an associated agreement that permits her to build naval and air bases in their sovereign territories. This offers mutual benefits. On Russia’s side, it vastly expands her regional and strategic capabilities, giving her, among other things, valuable warm water ports in the Indian Ocean and the Mediterranean Sea. On the Iranian and Libyan side, it buffers these nations from their enemies. We can only imagine how nervous this must make the brass in the hallowed halls of the Pentagon. It certainly changes the balance of power from the Mediterranean to the Red Sea.
“The second is that Russia has begun the construction of facilities at twelve military bases in the western and southern regions of Iran and fourteen of Iran’s most vital nuclear sites. All of these facilities are being built by Russian personnel in immediate proximity to existing Iranian missile and nuclear sites. Furthermore, these facilities will fly the Russian flag and will be manned and operated by Russian personnel. This puts Israel in an impossibly difficult position. She now risks killing Russian civilians and military personnel were she to attempt to destroy any of Iran’s most significant missile or nuclear sites. On top of this, were she to invade Iranian airspace, she would find herself facing Russian jets as well as Iranian. No matter how you slice it, Israel now has no viable options to defend herself from the Iranian threat. Humanly speaking, it looks as if Iran now holds all the trump cards.
“Our last piece of Russian juggernaut news tonight is that Germany distanced herself even further this week from her EU and NATO partners. Against their advice, she signed an economic cooperation package with Russia, which includes importing natural gas and oil at a discount and exporting German goods and technology on favorable terms. This is in keeping with a slow but steady Rusward trend we have been watching for a while. Over the past few years, Germany has often expressed her desire to enjoy closer ties with Russia and her frustration at NATO’s unwillingness to cooperate with Russia in the Middle East. This became a major point of contention last September at the NATO summit in Istanbul when Germany criticized the West, in particular the U.S., for seeming to delight in antagonizing and ostracizing Russia. Things came to a head in October when Germany stormed out of the EU summit in Luxembourg, angered by policies she claimed were designed to punish strong economies and reward weak ones. She vowed she would no longer carry the European economy on her back. Her trade agreement two weeks ago with Russia seems to prove that this was no empty threat.
“What can we expect next? There are rumors afloat that Germany has been engaged in secret talks with Russia on the possibility of military cooperation and alliance. If this is true, the writing is on the wall. Such talks are nothing less than a harbinger of Germany’s eventual departure from both NATO and the EU and her realignment with her Slavic cousins in Russia—a change we have long anticipated and predicted based on the ancient prophecy found in Ezekiel 38 and 39.”
Ariele found herself strangely allured by this report and the Ezekiel prophecy. It seemed like God was drawing her to something much bigger than herself—like she had a date with destiny. This was an unusual feeling for her, as she had shunned religion for years. She hadn’t felt strong religious inclinations since she was ten years old. But . . . the seed had been planted. She vaguely recalled her gra
ndfather on her mother’s side, a devout Orthodox Jew of Sephardic lineage, talking about this prophecy when she was a little girl, insisting that God was going to deliver Israel from her enemies in the last days by a fiery vengeance from heaven. They weren’t going to deliver themselves. America wasn’t going to deliver them. God himself was going to deliver them. For the first time since her childhood, she felt a desire to tap into whatever it is that the Jewish people were supposed to tap into. GOD, help me to find whatever I’m supposed to find and do whatever I’m supposed to do.
She was interrupted by a riff from the theme music of The Da Vinci Code which opened the conspiracy segment of the program. “Our big conspiracy story this evening is the arrest yesterday of a dozen prominent webcasters—owners of some of the biggest conspiracy websites—men who have long tried to bring the American people the truth on topics like reptilians, Big Brother government, Planet X, and the end of the world. The official report coming from the major media outlets claims that the arrests were pursuant to the Homeland Security Act and that the arrested were members of a terrorist network whose purpose is promoting anarchy in America . . . yada, yada, yada.
“While we have no confirmation, these reporters were probably taken to FEMA camps, where they will be given an opportunity to mend their ways and become productive citizens. In other words, they will be taught to think and say only what they are permitted to think and say.
“As for the arrests, while the official account is certainly plausible—for there are real terrorists in America—I and my associates suspect that something deeper is going on here.
“First of all—as many of you already know—Security Act arrests are dubious. Man have been charged with the possession of sensitive information merely for being privy to the Rogue. And they have been charged with promoting civil disorder merely for preaching that the asteroid impacts in the book of Revelation are real and will happen soon. The fact is, arrests under the Security Act have nothing to do with genuine terrorism. Real terrorists are always charged under older terrorism legislation.
“Secondly, the arrested have one thing in common—last week they broke an intriguing story about a potential Planet X scenario based on material leaked by Anonymous. That story, like the Sci-Fi Today story a year ago, exploded on the internet. Supposedly, a massive comet has been discovered that is currently about five hundred million miles beyond Neptune. This invader, nicknamed the Rogue, will smash its way through the asteroid belt and pass within 20,000 miles of Mars, directly intersecting the Red Planet’s orbital path.
“Thirdly, a rumor has been spreading through the internet grapevine claiming, further, that the websites of the arrested were shut down, that their employees and volunteer help were also arrested, and that the contents of their homes were confiscated and loaded into semi-trucks. We are currently trying to verify these reports. At this time, the only thing we can verify is that all twelve websites are now showing ‘404 Not Found’ errors.
“By the way, as is usual with Security Act arrests in the past six months, most of these recent arrests were made by plainclothes agents who declined to identify which agency they worked for. When asked, they merely replied, ‘That is classified.’ . . . Folks, are you wondering like I am, who in the habanero these mysterious plainclothesmen are? We intend to get to the bottom of this question in a future episode. So, don’t miss a single hour of this program. You never know when we are going to out the truth you need to hear.
“But let’s move on to the Planet X story itself. Folks, this massive comet is . . . MASSIVE. According to the leaked information, based on data from the NEOCam, Spitzer, and WISE space telescopes, the comet is shaped like a rutabaga, measuring 5800 kilometers tip to top and 4900 kilometers across the top. It has approximately the same mass as a spherical body with a diameter of 5200 kilometers. The irregular shape is why the original measurement was so far off. During the occultation in September 2017, only the tip of the comet transited the star, leaving astronomers with the impression that it had a diameter of 900 to 1000 kilometers.
“Furthermore, not only is the comet extremely large, it is extremely dense. A spectrographic survey conducted by the Spitzer space telescope indicates that it is essentially iron, with large amounts of nickel, platinum-group metals, and heavy-rare-earth minerals.
“Let me put the size and density in perspective. This comet is eighty percent of the diameter of Mars . . . that is unbelievably gargantuan. And it is so dense that its mass is approximately the same as that of the Red Planet.
“If there is any truth at all to this story, we are facing a terrifying scenario—one that exposes the hollowness of most of our apocalyptic talk. This comet could easily knock a few asteroids into elliptical orbits when it passes through the asteroid belt, posing an eventual threat to Earth. We don’t even want to think about what might happen were it to collide with Mars.
“By the way, the simple fact that the NEOCam, WISE, and Spitzer space telescopes are involved in this story is an intelligence gold mine. Bear in mind that the NEOCam was originally slated to be a warm mission. She was supposed to be fitted with sensors that are sensitive to relatively warm temperatures—an outfitting ideal for the search for asteroids in the asteroid belt. But her warm-mission sensors would have been unable to observe a comet in the frigid regions beyond Uranus. This implies that NASA must have retooled the NEOCam before launch, replacing at least one of its slated sensors with one able to detect colder temperatures.
“The WISE and the Spitzer telescopes would have also required retooling before employment in a cold mission. The former had long ago used up its liquid hydrogen coolant and the latter its liquid helium coolant. Until recently, both were used only for warm missions, primarily asteroid research in the asteroid belt. So, NASA must have revitalized them—replenishing their coolant, reprogramming them with new mission instructions, and replacing the original sensors in the WISE. Otherwise, they would not have been able to take images and surveys of the comet while it was yet far beyond Neptune.
“The bottom line is, the government implemented a huge change in mission when they had NASA retool the NEOCam telescope prior to launch and they threw a ton of money at NASA to revitalize the WISE and Spitzer space telescopes. The Anonymous leak claims NASA spent over seven billion dollars to refurbish Space Shuttle Atlantis, fast track the mission to revitalize the two space telescopes, and actually execute the mission. The retooling, the vast expenditure, and the fast-track priority imply that the White House and NASA are worried about this comet—very worried.”
Burrage trotted out his Paul Harvey impersonation, “And now you know the real reason why NASA brought Space Shuttle Atlantis out of retirement in January of 2018 and had her ready for launch by August 2018.” She snickered at his miserable attempt as he continued in his normal voice, “I hope my listeners remember that I went out on a limb at the time and claimed that the official story—deployment of two sensitive satellites, solar wind experiments, and a graviton deflection experiment—were a crock of malarkey.
“So, what is my analysis of this story? How high does it score on the world-famous Krakenhavn Meter? Let me preface my score with two observations.
“First of all, those who listen to this show regularly know that I believe that most of the internet doomsday and X-files stuff is written by whack jobs who prefer sensationalism over journalism, confuse superstition with facts, and pretend that their tabloid drivel is investigative reporting. I don’t exempt Planet X stories from this judgment. It has been my position for years that the vast majority of Planet X stories belong in the same category as bigfoot, the Loch Ness monster, and green men from Mars.
“Secondly, even if this is just another bogus Planet X story, what is the harm? Where is the harm for society if Planet X is just an apocalyptic tall tale? So what if a handful of unstable, gullible folks think that an extinction event that happens once every thirty thousand years is likely to happen in their lifetime? So what if these folks store up food and
bottled water in their basement? Who are they hurting? What unrest are they spreading in society? They only thing they are spreading is a few laughs. And their panic buying is good for the economy.
“But having said this . . . well . . . I am going to give it the highest score I have ever given a space-threat story . . . I am going to rate it a very high eighty-five percent probability that the core of the story is true, even if the details need to be revisited. And let me tell you why.
“The feds are not going around shutting down websites and arresting webmasters for propagating bigfoot stories, or spinning yarns of an ancient civilization on Mars, or claiming contact with UFOs. But they have been shutting down websites and arresting webmasters over Planet X stories—not the mere theory, but real-life candidates for a Planet X scenario. Most of these arrests have involved the mysterious, unseen comet known as the Rogue. This raises a big question mark in my mind. Is it possible that the doomsdayers have actually uncovered something that the government doesn’t want to be uncovered? What if amidst all the nonsense, paranoia, and sensationalism there was a kernel of truth that the government was bent on covering up until it could no longer be covered up? Think about it.” The closing music started to play.
“If you enjoyed our coverage today on Planet X intrigue, then don’t miss the rest of the story. Over the next few weeks, we will bring you more information on the rogue comet that many believe is headed for a rendezvous with Mars. The information we have received is truly startling. Not mere theories cranked out by crackpots, but purported facts from apparently reputable sources.
“Well, our time is up. Tune in tomorrow evening. I will be covering the legendary Paulding Light. Is it supernatural or natural? This is Burrage Krakenhavn signing off. Don’t believe anything you hear on late-night radio unless you hear it here.”
Ariele laughed. Sometimes they make this stuff sound so realistic that you almost feel compelled to believe it. This comet story certainly belonged in that category—it was one of Butch’s best yet. A comet that was eighty percent the size of Mars knocking asteroids around like pool balls on a pool table, sending them on orbits which could pose a threat to Earth? That would make a decent summer blockbuster.
