by Anne Herries
‘It is not for me to judge one way or the other,’ she said quietly, trying valiantly to hide her feelings. ‘But Sir Alain has been good to us and I would not see him hurt.’
‘Nor I,’ Bryne admitted, his mouth grim. He was angry with his friend, for he had never known Alain to be taken in by a pretty face before and could not understand why he showed Celestine so much attention. Unless he was playing a deeper game than any of them understood? That might be the case, and, if so, it excused his behaviour of late. Yet he did not care to see Katherine hurt and so he spoke more harshly than he ought of his friend. ‘If he were not a fool in matters of love, he might see that you are worth ten of her, Katherine. I vow a man could not choose better than to have you as his wife.’
Her cheeks felt warm as she saw the admiration in his look.
‘You are kind to me,’ she said shyly. ‘I have no mirror, sir, but if I did, I know that it would tell me Celestine is far more lovely than I could ever be.’
‘You are not pretty,’ Bryne told her, his eyes serious as they dwelled on her face. ‘But there are times when you are certainly beautiful. It is a kind of beauty that the Lady Celestine cannot match.’
Katherine’s beauty was of the soul, and came from within, but it was not something that Bryne could put into words. A simple knight, he was not given to flattery and could only speak from the heart.
‘Now you flatter me!’ she cried and laughed, her eyes lighting up with mischief. In that moment Bryne’s words were proved true, though she would never know it. ‘Even my father told me I could not expect to find a husband without a great dowry. It was for this reason he sought so hard to find a treasure…’ She sighed and the laughter died. ‘I have wished that he had never discovered it, for he might still have lived.’
‘Ah, do not look like that for it breaks my heart,’ Bryne said. ‘Your father was wrong, Katherine; you see before you a man who would willingly offer you his name and his home.’
‘Oh, Bryne…’ she said in a voice hardly above a whisper. His simple words had touched her heart. ‘You do me such honour, but you know…you know I cannot accept, don’t you?’
‘I understand that your heart is given to another,’ Bryne replied and smiled at her gently. ‘But I wanted you to know that you need never be alone. If you have need of me, I shall always come to you—wherever you are.’
‘You must not make such a promise,’ Katherine answered. She had learned to like and respect this knight and felt guilty that she might be the cause of some disappointment to him. ‘I would not have you waste your life, sir. You should take a wife who will love you and bear your children.’
‘I shall take only one woman as my wife—and until I see you happy, Katherine, I shall wait and hope…’ His words trailed away as Alain brought Celestine back to them. ‘It is good to see you recovered, lady.’ He bowed formally to the older woman.
‘Thank you, sir. You are very kind.’ Celestine could not resist giving him an inviting glance. It seemed that she must play her games with any man who spoke to her. ‘But I am feeling unwell again and must seek my rest once more. Katherine, will you not come with me? I feel I shall fall if I go alone.’
Celestine waited expectantly, almost as though she thought one of the men would offer to take her to her cabin. Neither spoke and she took hold of Katherine’s arm, clinging to her as if in need of support.
Katherine saw that a little smile of satisfaction played about her mouth as they walked away from the men, and as Celestine let go of her arm to go into the cabin, she realised that she had achieved what she had set out to do. She was not as ill as she had pretended, but it had irked her that Katherine was able to go on deck when she could not, and her next words confirmed it.
‘It is unseemly of you to go on deck alone, Katherine,’ she said with a sour look. ‘What would your father have said? And, more importantly, what will others think of you for behaving in such a loose manner? You will have no honour or reputation left if you continue like this. Truly, I am shocked that you could behave so carelessly. It is not becoming in a young woman.’
‘I have done nothing wrong,’ Katherine replied defensively. Travelling with her father, she had been used to more freedom than was usually permitted a woman, for her father had perhaps been careless in his care of her. ‘I but talked to Sir Alain and Sir Bryne. I was in full view of everyone on deck the whole time. I do not know how you can accuse me of behaving immodestly.’
‘Nevertheless, I feel responsible for you,’ Celestine said. ‘You have no guardian to protect you, and if I am to assume that duty you must promise to be more careful in future.’
‘I have no need of a guardian,’ Katherine replied. She was tempted to say that Celestine was in no better case, but held her tongue. Their relationship was still strained and would not be improved by a quarrel. ‘Maria usually accompanies me. I shall ask her to do so in future.’
Celestine pulled a face. She had no lady of her own to attend her and had grown used to ordering Maria as if she owned her. It did not suit her to be reminded otherwise, but having made her point she merely groaned and clutched at her middle.
‘I feel ill,’ she said. ‘Do not regard me if you require Maria’s services. I am sure I would not want to deprive you of your pleasure.’
She had made it impossible for Katherine to leave her. Despite her distrust of Celestine, she could not leave her to suffer alone—and perhaps she had been thoughtless. It would be better if she took Maria with her when she went on deck, but until Celestine was well enough to be left, that was impossible.
Why did the older woman want to make sure she could not go on deck without her? She could not be jealous—not when Sir Alain was so courteous and attentive towards her?
Yet she had plainly come on deck to oblige Katherine to return with her. Katherine did not believe that it was concern for her modesty that had prompted her, so what else lay behind her stratagem?
Katherine did not curtail her visits to the deck completely, but Celestine had made her aware that she might be laying herself open to a charge of immodesty, so she spent less time talking with her friends.
She saw the puzzled look in Bryne’s eyes and hoped that he did not think she was avoiding him because of the offer he had made her. Indeed, the kindness with which he had done so had made it impossible for her to feel embarrassment and she welcomed his friendship as much as before. Sir Alain was as unfailingly courteous as always, always the perfect knight, but gave no sign that he had noticed anything different in her behaviour. There was certainly nothing of the lover about him, no hint that he might feel for her as she did for him. She must have imagined that look she’d seen in his eyes in the garden of Marcus Aurelius.
Katherine was saddened, but it did not surprise her. He still thought of her as a child, his warmer feelings directed at the beautiful Lady Celestine. When at last the weather became calmer and Celestine began to venture on deck more often, he spent most of his time at her side rather than with Katherine.
Well, why should that distress her? Katherine scolded herself for allowing it to make her heart ache. She had always known that her feelings for him were folly. Why, then, should she feel hurt that he showed preference for Celestine?
She was heartsore as she watched them together. She had thought him both intelligent and noble; indeed, he was all that a knight should be, but if he were truly besotted with Celestine, as he appeared to be, then Katherine would be a fool to love him.
Were all men blinded by a woman’s beauty? And yet she had now and then seen something in his face that made her wonder. Sometimes his eyes had such a steady, thoughtful look—was it possible that they saw beyond mere beauty? Was it possible that Sir Alain played a more skilful game than she could imagine?
Such thoughts went some way to easing her pride, but not her heartache. Watching them together, the way that Celestine smiled confidently up at him, her smile clearly inviting, was too painful to be borne. Katherine wept inside herself, but t
ried hard not to let them see how their intimacy was hurting her. Even Bryne’s constant presence at her side could not ease the pain that was growing inside her each day. She thought that her despair must be making her ill, for she had begun to feel unwell despite the fact that the sea was now calm, the storms having blown themselves out.
But Katherine’s illness was not seasickness, it was a draining lethargy that had stolen over her unawares. She was feeling unusually tired and her head throbbed so much at times that she hardly knew how to bear it. Perhaps she was sickening for something?
She would be glad when they were in England. Once they had parted company with the two knights, she would no longer have to see him every day or to watch him making a fool of himself with a woman who merely sought to use him for her own ends. It could not be long now, a day or so only if the weather were kind.
‘I have persuaded Sir Alain that he should accompany us to France,’ Celestine told Katherine the morning that the cliffs of Dover came into view. ‘Was that not clever of me?’
Katherine looked at her, feeling sick as she saw her self-satisfied expression. Was it not enough that she had had to endure watching them these past weeks? Must the torture continue until she reached her uncle’s house?
‘Do you think it necessary?’ Katherine asked. Her head had been aching since she woke that morning and she felt a little strange in herself. Twice that morning she had been dizzy, though she had tried to hide it from the watchful eyes of Maria. Oh, how glad she would be to reach her uncle’s house! She was tired of Celestine’s self-satisfied looks. ‘I think Maria, my father’s servants that remain to me and I will be safe enough in France. My home is not far from Calais—so I shall not need an escort.’
‘Then we shall part company there,’ Celestine replied with a little curl of spite about her mouth. ‘If you persist in this foolishness, Katherine, I can do no more for you.’
It was on the tip of Katherine’s tongue to ask what service Celestine had performed for her. Indeed, it was she who had had to lend the older women some of her best things because she had brought so little with her when she escaped from Baron Ravenshurst’s camp.
‘I have never asked anything of you,’ Katherine replied with dignity. ‘And I can make my own way to my uncle’s house, thank you.’
It was the closest they had come to a quarrel and Katherine felt the other woman’s eyes on her, narrowed in anger and dislike. She was sorry that she had made an enemy of Celestine, though she could not bring herself to trust her.
‘Then you may go to perdition for all I care!’
Celestine turned on her heel and walked away.
‘Be careful, my lady,’ Maria said from just behind her. ‘That one has the tongue and the sting of a serpent. She will make a bad enemy.’
‘You are right,’ Katherine replied and sighed. Maria was suspicious of everyone, but in this case her instincts were true. Yet her head was aching so much and she felt so very unhappy that she hardly knew how to keep on her feet. ‘I suppose I must beg her pardon, for she believed she was helping me. It’s just that—’ She broke off for it was too painful to explain exactly why she had been sharp with Celestine. ‘I shall be glad when we are home, Maria.’
‘It will not be as it was when you were a child,’ Maria said, giving her an odd look. ‘Your uncle is a weak man, my lady. He could not protect you as these English knights have done. If I were you, I should accept their offer to escort you to Grunwald. It may be best to see how things stand there before you part company with such good friends.’
‘Why, Maria!’ Katherine laughed merrily. ‘I believe you have changed your mind about them.’
Maria shook her head at her. Even if she did have a secret respect for a certain knight, wild horses would not have dragged it from her! ‘Now don’t you start your games, Katherine. I may have acted hastily in the past, but I would do so again if I feared for your life and honour.’
‘You are my best, my dearest friend,’ Katherine said and, laughing, kissed her cheek. ‘If I have no others to care for me, I am rich in your love, Maria.’
‘Nay, stop that,’ Maria said, her face suffused with colour. ‘I’m your nurse and ’tis my duty to have a care for you. No nonsense now, my lady! Besides, there are others who might care for you given a chance.’
‘You mean Sir Bryne, I suppose? He would wed me if I chose—but he does not love me, Maria. He merely wants a wife to give him sons. Any gentle woman would do as well.’
Maria gave her a hard stare, hands on hips. ‘And what’s wrong with that? There’s many a woman would be glad of the chance to wed such a man. Be careful you do not disregard your one chance of a better life.’
Katherine said no more, merely smiling. She knew that Maria was right to warn her that she ought not to part company with the knights too soon, for how could she know what awaited her at Grunwald? Supposing her uncle did not want her there? Where else could she go? Perhaps to an Abbey to spend her life in prayer… For a woman with no dowry and little else to recommend her, there was no other option.
If only her head did not ache so very much! Perhaps then she might be able to think more clearly. She was beginning to feel very unwell, but she would not give into her illness.
Watching the play of emotions on her face, Alain thought that he had never seen anyone who displayed their feelings so openly. He felt a stirring of something deep inside him. She was like an open book to him, her sadness, grief, pleasure and merry smile different pages, and each as intriguing as the next.
Unlike the Lady Celestine. He frowned as he thought of his most recent conversation with her, when he had told her that he intended to accompany Katherine to her home.
‘If you do not wish to come with us to Grunwald, I can arrange for an escort for you when we reach England,’ he had told her. ‘My father and brother have resources I may call on until I can settle my own affairs. I should see to it that you are well protected, lady.’
‘But I would not dream of leaving Katherine until she is safely settled at her home,’ Celestine had replied with a lift of her fine brows. ‘Surely you do not think me so heartless?’
‘Heartless? No, I do not think you that, lady.’
Celestine pouted her full, sensuous lips at him. ‘Sometimes I believe that you do not think of me at all—your concern lies in another direction, does it not?’
Alain frowned, sensing her pique. ‘If you mean the Lady Katherine, then, yes, I am concerned for her. She hath no one else to protect her and has been in some danger. I would see her safe with her family.’
‘And what of me? I have no one to protect me, sir. My lord was killed at Acre; though I have family, there is none I truly care for. Will you not offer me your escort once Katherine is at Grunwald?’
‘I shall make sure that you are not unprotected,’ Alain replied. ‘But I have business in England, and must return there as soon as I may after seeing the Lady Katherine to her home.’
He had realised his mistake almost at once, for Celestine’s eyes had narrowed to spiteful slits. Damn it! All his careful work might have been destroyed in a moment. He should have made some flattering remark as had been his wont, but something in her manner had pricked him into an unwise answer. If Celestine realised that he had merely been humouring her all this time, had not the slightest interest in her as a woman, he had wasted his breath paying court to her. He must be more careful in future—at least until he knew that Katherine was safe.
His frown deepened as he saw Bryne go up to Katherine, watched the ease in her manner, saw her laughter and the way she laid her hand upon his arm. There was a difference in her manner towards him, for she seldom relaxed these days, though sometimes she would smile or laugh and then…then her face lit up from inside and she was truly lovely. Yet she had few smiles for him of late.
And that might be his fault. He had been careful to show her only the courtesy due to any lady, for something had told him that if he were to reveal his true feelings she might
be in danger.
Was it possible that she had formed a deep and lasting attachment to Bryne? He was almost certain that his friend was in love with her. If that was the case, he must stand aside and wish them happy, but for the moment he was concerned only with making certain Katherine was safe from her enemies.
He walked towards them, saw the glow fade from her eyes, watched the uncertainty begin and wondered what he had done to make her doubt him. She had not been thus at the start. His heart twisted with sudden pain, and his expression hardened, for he must show no warm feelings towards her.
‘We must prepare to disembark shortly,’ he told her, unaware that he was frowning. ‘When we go ashore I shall make inquiries about a passage to France.’
‘You are very good,’ Katherine said, blinking to keep back the foolish tears. Why must her head ache so? And her throat had begun to hurt. She wondered if she might be sickening with a fever, for she had been prone to take them as a child, though not for some years now. ‘Celestine says that you are to escort us to Grunwald. I must thank you for your consideration, sir—but are you sure that we do not keep you from your business?’
‘It is true that I have affairs to settle,’ Alain replied. ‘But my business may wait a few days. If we can charter a ship almost immediately, you will be with your family in less than a week.’
‘Yes…’ Katherine felt a pang of regret and realised that, painful as it was to see him and speak to him, it might be worse to part from him forever. ‘If your affairs are pressing, I do not mind a delay. You have done so much for us that I would not be a burden to you.’
‘Perhaps…’ Alain suddenly felt reluctant to deliver her to Grunwald too swiftly. He wanted to be with her, to make sure that no harm came to her. ‘I shall make inquiries and see how things lie. Now, if you need anything to take with you, you should fetch it from your cabin. Your baggage will be sent on afterwards.’
‘I have all I need with me,’ Katherine replied. She had her father’s treasure hid close to her body, and nothing else seemed to matter for the moment. Her head was feeling rather strange, as if it were not quite a part of her body. ‘Everything else may come with the baggage.’
