by Anne Herries
‘Then you must return to us. I mean it, my dear. Do not hesitate, Katherine. If you are unhappy at any time, send word and we shall fetch you back to Banewulf.’
‘I shall remember what you have said.’
Katherine was warmed by her words. The welcome at Banewulf had been more than she could ever have expected—but all she could think of was what would happen when Sir Alain returned to his home.
Had he thought of her at all while he was away? Sometimes she dreamed of him, and in her dreams he took her in his arms and kissed her, a kiss so passionate and hungry that it made her swoon with delight. When she woke from such dreams her cheeks were warm, for she was shamed by her wantonness.
How could she dream of such things? She was a maiden and these thoughts were not chaste. Indeed, they were wicked. Especially when there was no hope of the man she loved ever having the same feelings for her.
So Katherine had completely recovered and his mother had taken her back to Banewulf with her. Alain was surprised that Bryne had not gone with them. He knew that his friend would have felt obliged to do as Lady Alayne asked and accompany Marguerite to London, but it still seemed strange that he had been willing to leave Katherine to others if he was intending to make her his wife.
Alain was almost certain that Bryne had intended to make Katherine an offer of marriage, which was why he’d done nothing that would interfere with his friend’s plans. After all, he was certain his feelings for Katherine were those of a brother for his sister.
And yet there were times when she haunted him; her large, sometimes serious, sometimes merry eyes had a habit of intruding into his thoughts, both waking and sleeping. Of late his dreams had grown stronger, more erotic, and he was shamed by them. He should not allow himself to think of Katherine in that way. Even if she were not the child he had always thought her, she was the woman Bryne had spoken of as his intended bride, and therefore forbidden to Alain.
He was a fool to even consider the possibility of making Katherine an offer himself. He would not harm Bryne for the world, and besides, he was not sure that the girl even liked him. If she did and if by some chance Bryne had changed his mind…but she was little more than a child. She would grow up one day, of course. And she would be an excellent mother for his children. His mother would approve of her.
But Katherine was not the kind of woman he had thought to marry when the time came for him to take a wife. He had always imagined he might marry someone rather like…the Lady Elona. She had been intended as his bride, but he had been too young and too restless to think of marriage at the time—and she had fallen in love with his half-brother Stefan on their journey from France.
Alain had not wanted to marry anyone at that time, for he had been restless and eager to make a name for himself—but he had liked his brother’s wife very much. When he occasionally toyed with the idea of taking a bride one day, it had been of someone like Elona he had thought. Katherine was very different. Elona was fiery, full of spirit, while Katherine… He discovered that he did not truly know. Katherine had a kind of spiritual quality, a goodness and innocence that made him feel protective towards her, but he had seen humour in her eyes. Was there another woman inside—a woman she kept hidden from them all?
Katherine was intriguing, he decided. There was a certain mystery about her. In some ways she was still a stranger to him; it would be interesting to know her better.
Women of a certain kind had been eager to share his bed over the years, but he had taken few lovers. He was a natural man, but he was fastidious and would not take a woman lightly as many of the knights did. There had been a beautiful Arab girl he might have had as his wife, for her eager father had offered her to him, but he had seen the reluctance in her eyes and refused the offer. Whores were not to his liking, and it would have been dishonourable to steal a brother knight’s wife, so, apart from a few snatched interludes with fresh-cheeked countrywomen, he had lived a life of abstinence.
He had never met a woman he wanted to marry…then why had he thought of offering for Katherine at all? She had no looks to speak of. She was small and plain and brown like a bird, and he was afraid that he frightened her, for she looked at him so anxiously at times.
No, no, it was nonsense. Katherine was too young to think of marriage—to him or anyone else.
‘You have been a great help to me today,’ Alayne told Katherine as they returned to the house that morning. ‘My work is not always pleasant amongst the sick of the village, and it was good to have a companion. You saw for yourself how they suffer if we do not care for them.’
‘I was pleased to help you,’ Katherine told her. ‘My father and I did what we could for the injured at Acre, but I do not have your skills, my lady. I would that I could do more. It must be such a blessing for your people when you visit them.’
‘If you truly wish to learn, I could teach you some simple skills,’ Alayne told her. ‘You may help me in my stillroom if you wish.’
‘I should like that of all things.’
‘Good.’ Alayne gave her an approving smile. Katherine had gained a wide education on her travels, but was ignorant of most things that she would need to know as the chatelaine of a great house. If Alain was thinking of making her his bride, it would be best if she learned something of what would be expected of her. ‘It will be pleasant to teach you all that you need to know, my dearest. I grow fonder of you with each day that passes, and in truth I do not know how I shall part from you when the time comes.’
‘It will be hard to part from you,’ Katherine admitted. ‘For you have become the mother I thought you when I was ill.’
Alayne embraced her. ‘Perhaps I shall not need to part from you,’ she said. ‘We must hear what my son has to say when he returns.’
‘But when will that be?’ Katherine asked. She sighed as her companion shook her head. Sometimes she believed that she would never see him again.
His business must be important to keep him from his home so long.
‘So you have returned at last,’ Sir Ralph said to his son as they embraced. ‘I am glad to see you again, Alain. Your mother told me you had grown into a fine man, and she was right. She was anxious when you stayed away so long, but I told her you would return as soon as you could. Women do not always understand that a man has many calls upon his time that they may not share.’
‘Indeed, I ought to have sent word of my intention to return,’ Alain replied. ‘But I was engaged in important work, and I was reluctant to send letters for fear they should fall into the wrong hands. And I believed that Katherine was in safe hands.’
‘Ah, yes, the girl,’ Sir Ralph said, an odd expression in his eyes. ‘She is a good modest girl, Alain. Your mother is very taken with her, and they have become good friends. I believe it is your intention to escort her to her home in France?’
‘It was, but I think we should make inquiries first,’ Alain said. ‘I would not have her travel all that way only to be turned back if they do not want her. She has an uncle, but there is little money as I understand it and she may be an unwanted burden.’
‘That is my own thought,’ Sir Ralph said and nodded his appreciation. ‘To that end, I have written to the Baron Grunwald and told him that his brother’s daughter is staying with us for the moment. We shall wait and see what his answer brings. There is no hurry after all—is there?’ Sir Ralph frowned. ‘Yet I think there is also an uncle in this country— Katherine’s mother’s brother. Has she said aught to you of him?’
‘Nothing at all, Father,’ Alain said. ‘But it would not harm to make some inquiries before we decide. Besides, Katherine has been ill and I think another journey…’ He broke off as two ladies came into the hall, his jaw dropping as he saw the younger of the two. It was Katherine, but not as he had ever seen her. She was wearing a tunic of emerald green belted with a girdle of gold threads. Her face was a becoming pink, and she was smiling in a way she had seldom smiled in the past. He knew at once that she was happy here and he we
nt forward, his hands outstretched. ‘I am relieved to see you looking so well, Katherine. I feared for your life when you were struck down with that fever, but then my mother came and I knew that you would be well cared for.’
Why, she was almost beautiful when she smiled. How was it that he had not seen it before?
Katherine blushed and dipped her head, her cheeks flushed. Alain thought that she would rather he did not press his attentions on her, and moved aside for her to pass by. She went to stand by the hearth, looking at the floor—anywhere rather than him. Her glow of pleasure had faded, and it was clear to Alain that she was not comfortable in his presence.
‘Where have you been all this time?’ his mother asked, claiming his attention. ‘Did you not think we might be anxious for you? Could you not have sent some word of your whereabouts?’ There was a sharpness in her voice that he had seldom heard from her and he realised that she was annoyed with him. He transferred his attention to her, frowning slightly. Had he done something to displease both Katherine and his mother?
‘Forgive me. I would not have distressed you for the world, Mother. I was on an important mission—a secret mission, which is why I did not write to explain the delay.’ He heard Katherine’s gasp and shook his head. ‘No, Katherine, business of my own. I may speak of it now, for I believe it will not be long before the whole of England knows the truth. I have been told that King Richard has been released and is on his way back to England. It was to help secure promises for his ransom that I was in London. I went first to his Majesty’s brother, but gained but a poor response, for the Prince seemed almost to hope Richard would rot in his prison.’
‘That man!’ Sir Ralph exclaimed. ‘Richard was a fool to leave him as Regent here. It is my belief that he has conspired with France to keep Richard a prisoner.’
‘I think you may be right, Father—but if what I have heard is true, the King will soon be home again.’
‘God be praised!’ Sir Ralph said and was echoed by his wife. ‘If that was your mission, you owe us no apology, my son. His Majesty has your first loyalty always.’
‘The ransom hath been pledged and perhaps some already paid,’ Alain told them. ‘I myself have pledged some part of my fortune, and others were willing to do the same. Yet I fear that the sum asked was so great that Richard will bear the weight of it for so long as he lives.’
‘It was ill luck that took him to Austria and the Duke Leopold’s clutches!’
‘Aye, that it was. But it was to the Holy Roman Emperor Henry VI that he had to pledge so much for his freedom—and that will not please his temper.’
‘Richard is a true Plantagenet,’ Sir Ralph answered. ‘They have ever been a quarrelsome brood—but Richard is the lawful king and we must uphold him.’
‘Aye, no matter what. I would not have that rogue John as my king if I could avoid it.’ Alain scowled. ‘He is a rogue and deserves to be treated as such.’
‘Be careful what you say,’ Sir Ralph cautioned. ‘John rules here for the moment and such words are treason. If anything should happen to prevent Richard reaching London and being acclaimed as the true king once more—you could be arrested for such sentiments.’
‘I know that you speak truly, Father,’ Alain replied. ‘But there is none but you and Mother to hear me—and Katherine.’ He smiled at her and was relieved to receive a shy smile in return. Perhaps she did not find him such an ogre, after all. ‘I trust you are recovered, Katherine.’
She looked different. Her cheeks had a pleasant colour in them, but there was something more. What had changed her? Of course! It was the first time she had worn her hair loose like that. Always before it had been tightly braided or hidden beneath a wimple. He thought it suited her hanging loose about her shoulders, that she looked more womanly, older and—attractive. It was thick and shone with health, the ends curling slightly about her face where it had been cut shorter. She had certainly improved in looks and he guessed that his mother had had a hand in the changes in her.
‘I have been cosseted and cared for at every turn,’ Katherine confessed with a smile for her hostess. ‘No one has ever been so good to me as Lady Alayne.’
‘But it pleases me to make you happy,’ Alayne said. ‘I have been trying to persuade Katherine that she must stay with us for much longer. I hope you do not intend to take her away from us too soon, my son?’
‘Father agrees with me that we should send word to your uncle. Indeed, he has already done so,’ Alain said, looking at Katherine and trying to decide what she was thinking. It seemed that she had grown more adept at hiding her feelings, and he realised that she had changed in more than her appearance. Somehow he no longer saw her as a child, but a young woman on the threshold of life. ‘I would not have you make such a journey only to find that your uncle cannot welcome you for some reason. It would be better to wait—do you not agree?’
‘You must stay with us for a few months at least.’ Lady Alayne added her entreaty to that of her son. ‘Please say that you will, my dear.’
Katherine looked into Alain’s eyes. They were such a deep blue and they made her want to be in his arms, to feel the touch of his lips on hers, as she had felt it in her dreams. Once she had wanted only to escape the pain of being with him, but now that Celestine was not there to hang on his arm and flutter her long lashes at him, she discovered that she no longer felt so desperate. Indeed, the happiness she felt at his return was something she had had to struggle to hide. Better that he should think her reserved than too eager.
‘If I am no trouble to your mother, I shall stay,’ she said. ‘My uncle will be shocked to hear of his brother’s death and will need time to adjust to the news, I dare say.’
‘Then we are agreed,’ Alayne said and looked satisfied. ‘Katherine will stay here with us. Indeed, she must for a time.’ She gave her son a forgiving smile. ‘And now I must thank you for your gifts, Alain, for they arrived this morning. As I understand your instructions, the material is for my stores, to be used as I see fit, and there is one special gift for Katherine.’
Alain nodded and looked at Katherine. ‘I bought you a warm cloak; if memory serves me right, your own hath seen much wear,’ Alain told her, bringing a rosy flush to her cheeks. ‘And our winters can be cruel, Katherine. I would not have you take ill for the inclement weather.’
Katherine mumbled her thanks, seeming embarrassed by his concern for her, and Alayne sighed inwardly. Why could her son not have simply said that he had bought her a gift? He made it seem that the cloak was a garment meant for convenience when it was one of the finest that even his mother had ever seen. It was clear to her that Alain was not indifferent to this young woman, even if he had not the wit to see it for himself, and for her part she thought that he could not do better than to marry her.
Katherine was sitting on a bench in a sheltered spot in the garden lost in thought when she heard the sound of footsteps and looked up to see Sir Alain coming towards her. For a moment her heart raced and she wanted to run away and hide, but to do so would be rude and she did not wish to offend him. Yet she was afraid of giving herself away, of letting him see that she cared for him more than was seemly.
Oh, why must she love a man who could never love her? Why could she not have loved Bryne, who had wanted to marry her?
‘Are you warm enough sitting here?’ Alain asked, and as she nodded, unable to speak at first, ‘May I sit with you for a moment?’
‘Yes, if you wish it.’ She found her voice at last. Her hand trembled as he sat beside her and his nearness set flutters of pleasure winging through her body. Yet she gave no sign of her feelings, her expression serious as she asked, ‘For I must thank you for your gift. It is a beautiful cloak and I have never owned one like it.’
‘Then I am happy to have given it to you, Katherine—but it was not to receive your thanks that I sought you out.’
Her heart fluttered as she saw his serious look. ‘May I help you in some way, sir?’
‘Will you not
call me Alain?’ he asked, his eyes studying her face intently. He did not know how it was, but each day she seemed to grow more attractive to his eyes. ‘I hope that we are friends, Katherine? You do not dislike me?’ On board the ship she had seemed to like him, but now she seemed so reserved that he was afraid he had offended her.
Dislike him! How could he think it when the very sight of him set her heart racing like a mad March hare? Little did he know that his touch made her breathless with a feeling she knew was desire, though she blushed for shame for it. She curled her nails into her hands, knowing that she must be careful. If he guessed that she loved him he would be awkward in her presence, for he could not want such feelings from her.
‘How could I dislike you when you have been so good to me, sir?’
‘Then why do you not smile for me?’ Alain’s tone was teasing. ‘You smile for my mother and for others—but you look at me as if you thought I meant you harm. On the ship we laughed together, Katherine. Tell me what I have done to offend you. Was it because I left you at the inn?’
‘No, of course not. How could you stay when you had important work?’
‘I thought of you, Katherine, but I knew that you had others to care for you.’ He reached out to take her hand, his thumb gently caressing the palm and making her tremble the more. It aroused such feelings in her, such longings. She snatched it back from him, her cheeks heating. ‘You will not let me hold your hand even for a moment. What can I do to make amends?’
It was not possible to explain. She could not say that she loved him, loved the sight of him, the smell of him, the very thought of him. She could not tell him that when she had recovered her senses at the inn and found he had not stayed to see how she fared, she felt as if her heart had been wrenched from her body, that she had been devastated to realise how little she meant to him. How could she tell him that her dreams were full of him, that she longed for him to take her in his arms, to feel the touch of his hands on her body, to be held close to his heart, as he had held her for a moment when she almost fell into the boat taking them ashore? She could not. No maiden could say such things to a man, especially one who had shown no feelings of desire towards her.
