by Cate Beauman
Eventually she would have no choice but to tell him about the baby, but she would deliver the news without the tatters of a broken relationship hanging in the air. A clean cut was better. “Why don’t I make this easier for both of us? It’s pretty clear that what we had between us isn’t working for you, so why don’t we just leave it at that.” Biting her lip, she turned toward the window, willing the tears to stay away as her heart shattered.
“Let’s talk about this later, when we have more time.”
He didn’t deny anything she’d said. “No. There’s really nothing to talk about. Let’s leave it alone, Ethan.”
Ethan turned into the medical complex, pulled into a parking spot.
Sarah got out before the vehicle was fully stopped, needing to get to the bathroom before she crumbled. She rushed for the door, but he caught her before she could get inside.
“Wait a minute, Sarah.”
“I’m going to be late.” Much to her horror, her voice broke. “Please, let me go.”
He held her for another moment, searching her face as she blinked at unshed tears. Ethan released her arm and she walked into the waiting room, doing her best to give the receptionist a smile.
“Good morning. I have an 8:30 appointment. My name’s Sarah Johnson.”
“Yes. Hello, Sarah. Go ahead and have a seat. The nurse will be right out to get you.”
“Thank you.” Turning, she almost slammed into Ethan. Their eyes met before she took a seat.
Just as they sat, the nurse called. Sarah bolted from the chair and walked through the door.
“Will your husband be joining us today?”
She met Ethan’s stare. “No, he’ll wait for me out here.” She turned, leaving him behind.
The nurse showed her to the examining room and immediately got started. She wrapped the blood pressure cuff around Sarah’s arm. “You don’t look like you’re feeling very well. Your color’s a little off. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on so I can put your symptoms in the computer for the doctor.”
“I had a positive pregnancy test. I’m here to confirm it.”
The nurse beamed. “Oh, well, congratulations. Let’s get a urine sample and we’ll go from there.”
Minutes later, the doctor examined her. “You’re about nine weeks, Sarah, almost ten. You can take your legs down.”
Sarah pulled her feet from the stirrups and began to sit up.
“Wait just a minute. You’re far enough along for us to pick up a heartbeat. Let’s make sure baby’s off to a good start.”
Sarah nodded, lying back again. Even with the professional confirmation, she couldn’t truly believe she was pregnant. The doctor squeezed a dab of warm blue fluid on her lower abdomen and switched on the small Doppler machine. A burst of static filtered through the speaker as Dr. Humphrey slid the probe around. The fast and steady rhythm of a tiny heartbeat soon filled the room.
Disillusionment was instantly replaced with wonder and love. Sarah grinned. “That’s my baby. Oh, listen to that sound. I don’t think there’s a better sound.” In that moment it didn’t matter that Ethan didn’t want her, that he didn’t love her. He’d given her a child. She would treasure the baby they had made in affection if not in love.
After the goop had been wiped away and she dressed, Sarah went out to the receptionist’s desk with her yellow form.
“Why, honey, you look like you’re feeling a little better already.”
She smiled. “I am.”
“We’ll see you back here in a month, unless you want to transfer your care to OB.”
Wincing, she glanced over her shoulder, hoping Ethan didn’t hear. “No. I’ll be back next month. This is a busy time of year for me. Can I call you and we’ll figure out an appointment when I’m in front of my calendar?”
“Certainly. Congratulations, honey, and don’t forget your vitamin.”
“Thanks.”
As she walked toward the door, Ethan got up to follow.
He took her arm. “Wait, Sarah. I go first.” He punched a number into his cell. “We all set? Okay, we’re coming out.”
With the coast clear, Ethan walked Sarah to her side of the vehicle. When she was tucked inside, he shut the door.
He got in on his side and stared at her.
She pulled sunglasses from her purse, put them on, wanting the barrier. “We should go. I’m already running late.”
“At least tell me you’re okay.”
“I’m fine.”
He looked at her a moment longer before he started the car, and they headed for the shoot.
When they pulled up on location, Sarah’s mood immediately plummeted. Nicolette walked from her trailer in little more than black floss.
Damn it. With everything going on, she’d forgotten she would be photographing the French pain in her ass today. Sarah stepped from the Rover, pulling her camera bag with her. She started toward the sand with Ethan at her side. “Austin or Hunter usually stays by the trailer. You don’t have to come with me.”
“I know how to do my job, Sarah.”
She glanced at him as she removed her sandals and walked to the center of the beach front. Sarah took her equipment from the bags Melanie had set up, began to read her light meters.
Melanie rushed forward. “Hi, honey. How are you today?”
“I’m feeling pretty good.”
Hugging her, Melanie whispered, “Congratulations.”
Concerned she was drawing attention from Ethan, Sarah pulled back. “Thanks. Let’s get things going. I want this one over as quickly as possible.”
Melanie swiped a honey toned ringlet back from her forehead, smiled, rolled her eyes. “I can’t imagine why. What a pain in the ass. Let’s send her back to Paris, fast.”
Sarah grinned.
“It is so nice that you could join us today, Sarah,” Nicolette said as she sauntered toward them.
“And here we go,” Sarah muttered. “Hello, Nicolette. I’m sorry I kept you waiting.”
“Perhaps I should wait longer while you finish your conversation with your friend.”
Unwilling to rise to the bait, Sarah pulled the camera in front of her face, checking her focus. She followed Nicolette through the lens, watching the dark haired vixen smile slowly, seductively. “Well, well, well, Ethan darling, I had no idea you would be here today. Berlin two weeks ago and now the beach.”
“Hello, Nicky.”
Nicolette’s fingers brushed down the front of his shirt, accentuating the outline of his six pack. “Perhaps we will have dinner while I am here and pick up where we left off.” Her nail skimmed over his palm as she held it out. “I’ve missed your hands, Ethan. You have such creative hands.”
“That’s enough.” He pulled back, looking in Sarah’s direction. His eyes stared straight into hers through the lens.
Sarah let the camera strap fall around her neck and walked off, pulling lenses at random from her bag. The stab of betrayal was sharp and painful, but it was probably better this way. The in-your-face reality check reminded her that what she’d had with Ethan a month ago no longer existed. He would go on as he always had, dating who he pleased when he pleased. He hadn’t wasted any time.
This cruel slap only highlighted how foolish she’d been to think they shared something special. As she watched Ethan talk to Nicolette, she realized in a humbling moment that she had been nothing more than one of Ethan Cooke’s Flavors of the Month.
“Nicolette, we need to get started. You and Ethan can talk about what you’ll do with his hands later.”
His gaze narrowed, meeting hers, before she walked off to get the day over with.
As the sun set, Sarah shoved her equipment bag in the back seat of the SUV.
Ethan opened her door and she hesitated. “Why don’t I ride with Hunter? I’ve hardly seen Morgan in days with both of our busy schedules. I would love to catch up, find out how she’s doing, especially now that they’ll be going home tomorrow.”
“Get
in the car, Sarah. You can catch up at home.”
She pulled her seatbelt in place as Ethan slammed her door. He hadn’t exactly been friendly since her snide comment on the beach earlier that morning.
He slammed his door as well, shot the key into the ignition. He brought the engine to life before shutting it off, staring at her, eyes blazing. “I saw Nicky at an event I was invited to in Berlin. Nothing—”
Her cell phone rang. She yanked her purse from her lap, holding it up like a shield. “Phone.” She didn’t want to talk about what he did with Nicolette. Sarah checked the readout and signaled for one minute. “Sorry. It’s my mother. I have to take this.”
“No, you don’t. I’m trying—”
Ignoring him, Sarah pressed ‘talk’. “Mom, how are you?”
Eyes narrowing, Ethan turned over the ignition again, put the Rover in first gear, and shot from the parking lot. “We’re going to talk about this, Sarah.”
Several minutes later, as they pulled up in front of his house, she squeezed every last drop from her conversation, stalling. She was almost there.
“It was lovely talking to you, Sarah, but I really must go. You’ve been so chatty and your father’s waiting for me.”
“Oh, okay. Love you, Mom.”
“You too, honey.”
The Rover rolled to a stop as Sarah ended the call. She reached for the door handle, and Ethan snagged her arm. “Let’s talk about this. I—”
The front door opened. Kylee came running to the vehicle with Hailey close behind.
Relieved and happy to see her daughter, Sarah smiled and waved as Ethan slammed his hands against the steering wheel.
“God fucking damn it! We’re going to have a conversation, Sarah.”
“It’ll have to wait.” She opened the door, grabbed Kylee up in a hug. “Hi, sweet girl. How was your day?”
“Dood. Let’s swim!”
“We’ll have some dinner, then we can go for a swim.” She glanced behind her, into Ethan’s smoldering eyes, before she walked off snuggling her little girl.
A knock sounded at Ethan’s bedroom door and Sarah tensed.
Morgan stuck her head in. “Mind if I come in?”
She relaxed instantly, smiled, motioning Morgan forward with a wave of her hand. “I just finished reading to Kylee.”
Morgan glanced at Kylee asleep, snuggled under the covers. “So I see. Does she ever make it to the end of a story?”
“Not after six-thirty p.m.”
“You look like you barely made it through yourself.”
“I’m a little tired.” She could hardly keep her eyes open.
“Since Hunter and I are going home tomorrow, I thought I’d come by and chat. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”
Sarah yawned. “It’s been awhile.”
“Why don’t we take a rain check? You need to rest.”
“I’m okay. Let’s talk.” Sarah pulled back the covers she’d cozied herself under. “We’re both so busy. Are you settling in at the Bureau?”
Morgan sat on the edge of the bed. “Slowly. There’s a lot of transition yet, but I’m managing. If I could put this damn mining investigation behind me, I might make it into the office on a regular basis.”
Sarah yawned again, fighting the urge to close her eyes.
“Pull those covers back up, Sarah. I want you to get some sleep. Tell me one thing first. Are you okay? Did everything go all right today?” Morgan’s brow rose, mirroring Sarah’s. “Kind of a loaded question, huh?”
Sarah shrugged with a casualness she didn’t feel. “You could say that.”
“Let’s start with your health.”
Sarah wanted to tell Morgan about the baby, to talk it all through, but she couldn’t, not yet. She still needed time to absorb the news herself. “I’m fine; just a little rundown with everything going on.”
Morgan folded her in a hug. “You had me worried.”
She held on, treasuring the comfort of a friend. “I’ll be good-to-go before you know it. Promise.”
Morgan eased back. “Are you and Ethan okay?”
Sarah stared down at the soft, cream-colored covers. “Ethan and I weren’t meant to be anything more than friends.” Saying it out loud hurt.
Morgan took her hand. “Oh, honey, what happened?”
“It’s such a long story. I don’t even know where to start. I’ll summarize. He changed his mind.”
“Is that what he said?”
Her eyes watered as she remembered the awkward drive to the doctors. “He would’ve, but I told him to leave it alone.”
Morgan sat on the edge of the bed, huffing out a breath. “Ethan Cooke, you’re an idiot.”
Sarah chuckled. Only Morgan could make her laugh at a time like this. She yanked a tissue from the box on the side table and blew her nose. “I’ll agree with you, but it doesn’t change anything.”
“I really thought things were different this time. Maybe you should talk to him.”
“Yeah, maybe.” She didn’t know if she could handle some polite ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ conversation.
Morgan stood. “I’m going to let you get some rest.” She wrapped Sarah in another long hug. “Do yourself a favor, Sarah: leave a glimmer of hope in your heart. Everything will work out.” She stepped away, smiled. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
Morgan shut the door behind her.
Sarah settled back against her pillow, replaying Morgan’s words. As much as she loved Morgan, she wasn’t sure she could take her advice. She looked at her daughter, brushed her fingers over the new life growing inside her. She didn’t have much time to spend on hope; her hands were full with reality.
CHAPTER 21
THE SCENT OF KYLEE’S BABY shampoo followed Ethan down the long upstairs hallway. If she’d had her bath, her bedtime routine was close to an end. It was the perfect time to snag Sarah before she could find a way to avoid him—like she had for the last two days.
Surprised by the lack of happy chatter coming from the room, he peeked in. Hailey sat on the bed, legs crossed at the ankles, typing away on her laptop. Kylee lay against her pillow, asleep. “Hailey, where’s Sarah?”
Her eyes flew up to meet his. “Um, she’s down in her office. She’s really busy going through the pictures from the shoot. We should probably let her be tonight. She has a lot of work to do. A lot.”
Getting the none-too-subtle hint, Ethan tried a friendly smile. “Thanks for the heads-up. I’ll catch her in the morning. Goodnight.”
“Night.” Hailey looked down and began to type again.
He took the stairs in twos. Like hell he’d wait till morning. This was finally his chance. They had a lot to discuss. He couldn’t stop thinking about the ride to the doctor’s office two days before. He’d watched her knuckles whiten as her hands pressed together, had heard her struggle with tears, had seen her shattered eyes when she told him it was better to forget the whole thing. He didn’t want to forget the whole thing. It was important she understand why he made the choice he did.
He stopped in her office doorway and a fist of desire sucker punched him in the gut. Shiny blonde hair piled high on her head exposed her long, smooth neck. Her tank top, cut low, showed off swells of creamy breasts while her left arm hooked around the leg that joined her in her chair. Bright blue eyes glanced up from her monitor, covered in black-framed reading glasses squared at the edges. He’d never been able to resist Sarah in her glasses. She looked like every man’s image of a very naughty librarian.
“Is there something you need?”
He stepped in and closed the door. “Yeah, I need to talk to you.”
She glanced back at her screen. “This isn’t a good time. I’m on a deadline. Lisa needs the first set of proofs by early next week.”
“Well, when would be a good time?”
“Let’s see… I have more outdoor shots next week, proofs to run the week after that, then Lisa and I get to start running throu
gh ideas for the Celebrity Bikini Ball. She wants behind the scenes pictures for the magazine’s month-end edition. So let’s pencil something in for…” She ran her finger over the calendar pinned to the wall, stopped on a date. “…a month from now. Will that Tuesday work for you?”
He knew she had a temper, but it had never been directed at him. “I’m not sure. I’ll have to check my book, or I can have my people call your people.” Out of patience, he pressed his palms to her desk. “Damn it, Sarah, I just want to straighten this out.”
She removed her glasses, pinched the bridge of her nose, blew out a breath. “I’m sorry. I’m tired, stressed out, and I really want nothing more than to go to bed right now, but I have hours of work yet. How about tomorrow night?”
“Fine. You look like you’re feeling better tonight.”
“Yeah, I’m good. It’s usually just in the mornings…“ Wide eyed, she met his before she popped her glasses on and directed her attention to her screen. “So we’ll talk tomorrow night. I should get back to work.”
Confused by the direction of their conversation and her reaction to it, Ethan opened the door, walked to his own office. Hunter and Morgan had called it an early night, so he would wait for Sarah to head upstairs.
He sat in his seat, booted up his computer, watched her work across the hall for a long time. Eventually he glanced down at his screen and read an e-mail from Detective Tucker Campbell.
Ethan,
May have something on our guy. It’s small but it’s something. Call me at home in the morning.
-Tucker
It was about damn time. Ethan flagged the e-mail, closed his laptop. He took a deep breath and began to attack the mountains of paperwork from his month away, losing track of time.
Later, he rubbed at his tired eyes and looked up. Sarah was gone. Rushing to his feet, he moved forward. Where the hell did she go? He hadn’t been that captivated by the fifty applicants Austin and Hunter had narrowed down for the new positions.
The light was still on in her office. Brows furrowed, he stepped into the room. She hadn’t gone anywhere. She lay asleep at her desk, her head resting against folded arms. The glasses he adored slanted diagonally across her face. The screensaver cycled through a slideshow of Kylee. He glanced at the red digits on the clock at her elbow and realized why he was so tired. It was after one.
