“Would you do things differently if you could? Maybe visit an orphan home and adopt a child or six?”
“We talked about it once Teddy turned ten and there were no other children. We talked about it a lot, and we’d just decided to do it when I lost Stanley. I didn’t think I could do it on my own, so it was just Teddy and me from that day forward.”
“And Teddy was enough.”
Miss Hazel shrugged. “As long as he was at home, he was enough. It was when he left and I had to figure out what to do with myself in that big empty house that I struggled. If I could have talked Teddy into walking into his father’s office and being the bank president, I think it would have been easier for me. But Teddy did exactly what he was meant to do.”
George nodded. “Did you ever resent the Mounties for taking him away from you?”
“Of course. I was angry with every Mountie I saw for about a year, but then I realized that Teddy was truly happy in his chosen profession. A mother can ask nothing more for the lives of her children than they do things that make them happy. If he died in the line of duty tomorrow, I would grieve in a way that I’ve never grieved before, but I would be happy because Teddy was doing what he loved for his entire adult life.”
“And you would move his wife and little Jack straight home with you and take care of them?”
“Oh, there’s no doubt about that. They are mine, and I am theirs.” Miss Hazel wondered then if she would ever consider George hers. She didn’t yet, which told her it was not time to marry him. She enjoyed his company, but she didn’t yet need to have him beside her. If that didn’t come, then marriage wouldn’t either.
George glanced at her, understanding completely because he already knew that she was his. She always would be.
8
Miss Hazel picked up her written pages from George’s house before returning to the mercantile that evening. She would work until she couldn’t see anymore, and then she would sleep. Every time she closed her eyes to sleep lately, she could see Stanley as if from afar, watching her with George.
She didn’t know what that was supposed to mean. That Stanley approved of her friendship with George and wanted her to move on? Or that he was disappointed in her for not loving him for the rest of her life? Of course, she did still love Stanley, but should she wait the rest of her days to be reunited with him in heaven? And was there proof that she would be with him in heaven?
She sighed heavily as she sat down with pen and paper. She would rather throw herself into her imaginary people’s lives than figure out her own.
At the end of the week, Miss Hazel knew she needed some time away from George to clear her mind. While he was there, he was all she could think about, which made her feel guilty. She needed to get away for a bit so she could think about whether or not she needed to make a huge change to be happy. She’d always been happy . . . well, content anyway . . . so why did she think she needed a man now?
Miss Hazel fixed supper for George that evening, knowing that she was going to tell him she was leaving. The girls were all content in their marriages and quite happy, so why would she need to stay around town? No, it was time for her to think about her own life and stop thinking about everyone else’s. She’d go see little Jack, along with his parents, who paled in comparison to her grandbaby, and then she would make decisions.
She had supper ready when George got home, as she had every night for a week. As she served him, he watched her. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”
She nodded. “I am. The girls don’t need me anymore. They’re happy now even though there was a bit of a mix-up with two of the letters. That’s neither here nor there, though. It’s time for me to go meet my grandbaby and decide what I’m going to do from here. I’m still not sure.”
“Will you still be there in two weeks when I retire?” he asked softly.
“I do believe I will. Teddy won’t much like it, but I’m going to stay for a good long while. A new mother needs help with her baby, and who better to help than the doting grandmother?”
“May I go see you there?” He held his breath as he waited for her answer. He had to know if she would allow him to visit near her precious family. He knew they meant everything in the whole world to her, but did he mean half as much?
“Yes, of course you may. I’d like you to meet Teddy.” She didn’t meet his eyes as she told him because as of that moment, she was uncertain what her thoughts about his visit would be. Time would tell.
“Will you go for one more walk with me tonight?”
“I would love to,” Miss Hazel told him, her hand covering his. “I’m not abandoning you. My job here is simply finished.”
“And may I see you off tomorrow?” George asked softly.
“I’m going to need someone to help me with my luggage! I’m capable, but I prefer to have a man deal with the heavy things.” She smiled at him, letting him know without words that it wasn’t the only reason she was allowing him to see her off.
“Good. What time does your train leave?”
“Ten-fifteen. I’ll want to leave the Dandys by about nine-thirty. I tend to prefer to be early rather than late for everything. I don’t expect the world to wait on me like some people do!”
“I’ll be there at nine-fifteen then. I can carry your things down the stairs for you.”
“Thank you. I appreciate your willingness to see me off.” And to say goodbye—even if it was just for a short while, she felt as if her heart was being wrenched from her. Had she spent too much time with him?
After the dishes were done, they walked down to the lake, watching Bob and Betty and the little beavers, who were still nameless. “When will you move them?” Miss Hazel asked. “I hate that they’ll need to rebuild, but I do see human life as more important than beaver life.”
“I’ll move them after you leave. I don’t want you to have to be here for it.” And it would be something that would fill the long, lonely hours without her beside him. After so very many years alone, George found he couldn’t imagine how he could spend so much time without her. It was ridiculous.
“Let me know how they do. I’ll give you my son’s address so you can write to me there, if you’d like.”
“I’d like that a lot. I’m not much of a writer . . . not like you are, but I will endeavor to write to you every day.”
“That would please me more than I can express.” Miss Hazel turned to him and walked into his arms, wrapping her arms tightly around his middle. “I’m really going to miss you, George.”
His arms came around her, and he rested his cheek atop her head. “I’m going to miss you just as much. I can’t believe you’re leaving me.”
“Now, you know that’s not what I’m doing. I’m going to see my grandbaby, and I’m going to think. I don’t know if I’m going to spend the rest of my life alone or with a certain handsome Mountie I met.”
“The Mountie has my vote,” George said with a slight grin.
Miss Hazel stood on tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. “I promise to have an answer for you when you get there. I’ve never been this wishy-washy about anything in my life, but how to proceed from here has me completely baffled. I promised Stanley to stay beside him until death, and he died, but should I die, too?”
“Is that the problem?” he asked. “I wondered if it was lack of feelings for me.”
“It’s too many feelings for you rushing through my body. I need to have some distance to know if my heart feels as strongly about you as the rest of me does.”
George grinned. “I like that idea. That your body has strong feelings for me at least. I could spend a little more time trying to coerce you , , ,”
“I don’t think that would be wise.” She turned toward the lake, where the beavers seemed to be playing a game to see who could splash the loudest with their tail. “I will miss you a lot.”
George sighed. “I’m going to miss you, too. I’ve gotten used to spending every evening with you. It’s going to seem o
dd to have to go back to the Dandys for supper, when I want to spend the time with you. I’ll write to you after supper each night . . . as long as you remember to leave me that address.”
“How could I forget? I want to get your letters so I can show them to Jess!”
“Wait . . . you’re going to show my letters to your daughter-in-law?”
“Well, of course, I am. I have to prove that there’s a man in this world crazy enough to think I’m a good catch!” With that, Miss Hazel cackled loudly. “I hope you never find your mind, George, because there’s no doubt you’ve lost it.”
He grinned, shaking his head. “I don’t think so. If you ask me, I’m getting a real catch.”
“I’m looking forward to spending time with my family, but I’m not sure I can leave here. . . . It’s certainly going to be hard. And it’s always hard to leave my girls behind, but not usually this hard.”
“How many girls have you left?”
She shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’m a writer, not a mathematician!”
George slipped his arm around her waist as he led her toward the other side of the lake. “I think there are four babies and not just three,” he said softly, bringing her to the other vantage point.
“This side of the lake is just as pretty as the other! Why do we never come over here?”
He grinned. “I have no idea. I think someone should build a few benches around the lake so couples can sit and watch the water and just soak up the ambience.”
“Ambience? Are you sure there’s not a writer’s soul deep inside you, George? We could co-write these romance novels of mine!”
“I think I’d be more given to writing adventure novels. The Crazed Mountie and the Bride He Left Behind.”
“Please don’t ever write that book. It sounds perfectly dreadful!”
“How about The Mysterious Mountie and Where He Got a Dozen Human Skulls?”
“George?”
“Yes, my dear?”
“You are never allowed to help me title one of my books. You’re terrible at it!”
“Someone somewhere is going to appreciate my skills, and you are going to regret ever saying those words to me!”
“Sure. That’s going to happen.” As they walked back toward town, she wanted to tell him she’d changed her mind and she would stay until he retired, but it wasn’t the answer, and she knew it. She needed this time away from him. If he wasn’t her first thought every morning and her last thought before sleep . . . well, then maybe she was simply not in love with him. And she had to find out how her Teddy would feel about getting a step-father. As important as George was rapidly becoming, Teddy, Jess, and little Jack were her family—the people she loved above all others.
“Do you have to leave?” he asked softly as they reached the mercantile. “I’m not ready for you to go.” He’d told her he would let her leave without a complaint, but now that the time was near, he found he had to complain just a little.
“I’m not ready to leave yet either, but I have to. My mind is confused here, and I need to know if I belong with you or back in Ottawa or with my family. I think I’ve decided to sell the home in Ottawa, but I raised my son there. I lived there with my husband. My husband died in that very home. How can I just sell it as if it’s a piece of real estate that I care nothing about?”
“It’s not just a piece of real estate. I do understand that. I support you in whatever decision you make. If you decide you want to keep the house in Ottawa and be married to me, I will move there with you. You have the right to make these important decisions for yourself.”
“But you hate cities!”
“Yes, I do. But I love you more than I’ve ever hated a city.” He drew her close and brushed her lips with his. “I’m going to miss you every minute you’re away. I hope you have the answer I’m looking for when I get to Squirrel Ridge Junction.”
“I’m sure I will. I will write the address there for you tonight and give it to you tomorrow before I get on that train.” She hugged him close one more time, needing to feel his strength so she could leave him.
“I’ll be here just after nine. Don’t worry. You won’t be carrying your own luggage to the train station.”
“I knew I wouldn’t. How could a big strong Mountie let me do that?”
He smiled and waved. “Goodnight, Miss Hazel.”
“Goodnight, George.”
9
When Miss Hazel arrived in British Columbia, she got off the train and wandered through the village to Teddy and Jess’s cabin. When she stopped at the door, she heard a small voice raised in a cry and her daughter-in-law’s sweet-voiced answer. “Now, Jack, you know you don’t want to keep that yucky diaper on. You have to let Mama change it, and then you can eat. The diaper has to come first.” There was a short laugh. “Oh, I know you’re mad. Let me just put this other diaper on you, and you can nurse. I know! I know!”
Miss Hazel knocked softly, enjoying listening to the conversation going on inside the house but knowing she needed to hold that grandbaby of hers. When Jess opened the door, she grinned, handing her the baby immediately. “Why didn’t you write to us that you were coming? We didn’t expect you for at least a week yet!”
Miss Hazel couldn’t answer Jess because she was completely engrossed in the small child she held in her arms. He had dark hair, like her Teddy, and he was definitely as loud as his father. His mouth looked like Jess’s, though. “He’s a perfect combination of you and Teddy.”
Jess smiled. “He is, and he’s also very hungry, so if you’ll hand him to me, I’ll feed him, and we can talk.”
Miss Hazel studied Jess for the first time, and she saw that her daughter-in-law looked tired. Very tired. “Do you want to nurse him in bed, and I’ll start supper?” She had no idea what Jess was planning to fix for supper, but the cabin was messier than she’d ever seen it. Jess was a housekeeper and a cook first and foremost. Miss Hazel couldn’t believe how messy things were.
“Would you mind? I have a cold, and I’ve been sleeping more than I should, so I haven’t been able to keep up with the house and the baby and keep everyone fed. I’m sorry you had to see the house this way!”
“I don’t mind at all. Head back to bed, and I’ll take care of everything.” As soon as Jess disappeared into the bedroom with little Jack, Miss Hazel hurried around the cabin, picking up all the dirty clothes and putting them in a pile to be washed. The table was dirty, and the morning dishes sat in the basin ready to be washed. Jess must be sicker than she had let on.
By the time Teddy returned at the end of his work day, the cabin was spotless, and his favorite meal of chicken and dumplings was cooking on the stove. He took one step inside and sniffed deeply. “You must be feeling better today.” His hat was hung neatly on its hook on the wall. When he turned, he stopped. “Mom.”
“Hello. I came in on the train this afternoon.”
“I see that. We weren’t expecting you yet. Where’s Jess?” Teddy stood and looked at his mother for just a moment before moving on.
“She wasn’t feeling well, so I told her to nurse the baby in bed, and I cleaned and cooked. She didn’t look good. Where are her friends?” Miss Hazel had half a mind to march to the cabins where she knew Jess had four friends living and find out why they weren’t there helping out the young mother.
“They’re all either sick or pregnant and afraid of getting sick. It didn’t make sense for anyone to come and help out, so I’ve been doing the best I could in the evenings after work.” Teddy ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry you had to come when everything looked so bad.”
“No, I’m glad I’m here to help.” Miss Hazel hugged her son. “It’s good to see you, Teddy, and I’ll stay until Jess is back on her feet.”
“Thank you. I was sure hoping you’d say that.” He stood back and looked at her for a moment. “You’re not just here to see the baby, are you?”
Miss Hazel shrugged, blushing a little. “I’ve met a man.”
“Yes, I didn’t mean to meet him, but he was the commander for the last three girls I dropped off.” Miss Hazel moved to the table, her eyes never leaving Teddy’s face. “If you don’t like the idea of me seeing someone—or marrying again—you need to tell me now. But honestly, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to hold it together if you’re against it.”
Teddy sat down across from his mother, taking her hand in his. “Tell me about him. He must be awfully special to have caught your attention this way.”
Miss Hazel smiled. “He’s been a Mountie for a lot of years, and he retires in a couple of weeks. I wasn’t sure if I should stay, because I felt so much guilt for having feelings for someone else, and now I’m missing him horribly. He’s going to come here as soon as he retires so he can meet you.”
“Have you agreed to marry him?” Teddy asked.
“Not yet. That’s another reason he’s coming here. He’s waiting for my answer to his proposal. His many proposals. He asked me almost every day we were together.”
“It sounds like he’s in love with you. How do you feel about him?”
She sighed heavily. “While I was with him, I wasn’t sure if lust was coloring how my heart truly felt, but now that we’re apart . . . I can’t stop thinking about him. I want him beside me every minute of every day, and I know that seems a little crazy, but it’s how I feel.” She looked down at her hands. “I also feel like your father doesn’t want us together, which is just plain silly, but it’s how I feel.”
“Mom, you know Dad would have wanted you to be happy. I’m not sure why that’s even an issue.”
She shrugged, a tear drifting down her face. “Why do I feel like I’m betraying the love I had for him with George then?”
“I don’t know, but you’re not. You need to get that through your thick head.” He sighed. “You convinced me that I needed Jess in my life. Now I need to convince you that you need this George.”
RNWMP: Bride for George Page 7
