How soon after he’d gone to bed had Edana fallen ill and begun to bleed all alone in her bedchamber? How long had she suffered before dying? The questions that tormented him made him ill. No one, not even Edana, deserved to die such a death, all alone with no one to come and provide aide to her or answer her cries for help.
She must’ve screamed. How could one not when going through pain such as that which was so clearly etched forever on her face? If only he’d drunk less during their last meal together, perhaps he wouldn’t have been sleeping so deeply not to hear her cries.
Arran knew he was not a good man. Not like his brother, not like his father. He’d battled demons of guilt and remorse for past decisions for much of his adult life, but nothing compared to this transgression for which he would now have to hold himself accountable.
He’d killed her. Whether it was by his own hand or not, he knew he would feel responsible for the lass’ death and for the death of his unborn child for the rest of his life. Rising, he straightened himself, roughly brushing away his tears. The least he could do for her now was to see her properly laid to rest and beg God for forgiveness for all that he’d done.
Making his way back inside the castle, he began giving orders, stopping the castle’s messenger as he passed him on the stairwell. “Ride for Conall Castle at once, lad. Speak only to me brother, Eoin, and let him know of what has passed here this night. He will wish to be here as we lay her to rest.”
* * *
Tormod watched from his hiding place just on the edge of the castle gates. He’d left shortly after Edana, silently following behind her so that he could keep tight watch on the castle so he would know the instant his plan had succeeded.
It had taken longer than he’d expected. Eventually, he’d drifted as he crouched low to the ground, out of sight from anyone who would pass by him. Late into the night a cold breeze stirred him, and he looked up to see the castle slowly fill with light. He suspected then that someone had found Edana’s dead body.
He hoped that was the case. He still wasn’t sure if the lass would have the nerve to go through with the plan. She’d been quite shaken earlier when she knew that Arran suspected her lie.
It wasn’t until he saw Arran’s shadow burst through the castle doors and saw him retch all over the ground that he knew for certain the lass was dead.
He was finally free of the young, foolish, ignorant lass, and his soul smiled at the knowledge of it.
Tormod remained in his hiding spot watching the activity in the castle throughout the night, enjoying every moment of knowing how Arran would blame himself for her death, how just as his sister had predicted, he would be at his most weak and vulnerable in the weeks ahead.
There would be many in the village that would find Edana’s sudden death surprising. Now, all Tormod had to do was plant the seed of suspicion as to the cause of her death. If he could bring the townspeople to turn on the new laird, it would go a long way to ensuring his own place as laird once he did away with Arran once and for all.
He was so close to all that he wanted. Ridding himself of the wretched Edana was the hardest part. His sister would know just the right way to proceed to finish his task. Within a fortnight, he planned to be residing within the very castle he was lurking outside of now.
Chapter 36
Conall Castle
“So you said aye to him, love? And ye are at peace with yer decision?”
Father appeared in the doorway late in the night, shortly after we’d returned from the cottage. I’d just made me way to bed. It was clear that he’d waited up so that he could learn whatever answer I’d given him.
“Aye, Da, I did. ’Tis the answer ye hoped I would give him, is it no?”
He surprised me by shaking his head. “Nay, lass. I dinna wish for ye to say aye if ’twas no what ye wanted, but I canna deny that I am pleased that ye will be taken care of. Baodan is a good man. He will treat ye well.”
I was so tired I could scarcely keep me eyes open, and I yawned wide, speaking to him in between deep breaths. “Aye, I believe that he will.”
“Well, I’m happy for ye, lass. Baodan is anxious for ye to marry so that he can take ye away to yer new home up in the McMillan territory. If it pleases ye, I told him I’d like ye to be married at home.”
“Aye, I would like that verra much.”
“Good, lass. We shall all set out the day after tomorrow, the McMillans, the Conalls, and us. Sleep well, daughter.”
He turned and left, and I chuckled lightly to meself. He was more pleased than he cared to let on to know that I was to be married, and he’d been quick to make the arrangements, no wanting me to run out on another wedding.
* * *
The Castle Formerly Known as Kinnaird
Gara waited until all of the other servants were to bed in the wee hours of the morning, after Edana’s bedchamber had been cleaned and her body removed for burial preparation, to seek out Arran. She knew their new laird would not find sleep tonight.
She’d done as Tormod and Edana had bid her earlier for the sake of her family, but even she had not known the malice behind their plan. She’d gone to assist in the cleaning of Edana’s room once she heard news of Edana’s death, and as she’d bent to scrub the pool of blood off the floor, Gara had spotted the small bottle turned over on its side.
She’d picked it up, tucking it away as she tried to understand why the poor lass would’ve done something so vile to herself. It had taken her only a moment after she saw the source from where the blood had come to realize that Edana’s death was not self-inflicted.
It was Tormod. The bastard had played Edana for a fool and she’d fallen for it, drinking the solution as he bid her. She must have thought it would feign the loss of the child so that Arran would not find out that she’d lied to him.
Gara’s realization caused her to fear Tormod more than she already did. So she slipped the bottle away so that no one else would see it, but her guilt over the lie she’d told for them was becoming too much for her to bear. She could no longer allow Arran to believe her lie. If she couldn’t bring herself to tell him the truth over the cause of Edana’s death, the least she could do was to tell him the truth about the child.
* * *
At first he thought he’d imagined the knock at his door. The previous commotion throughout the castle had long since settled, and he’d assumed he was the only one still awake. When the soft rap began again, he moved from his stupor of self-loathing and guilt to see to whomever was at the door.
When he opened it to find Gara, he was certain she’d come to tell him what he already knew, that Edana’s death was no one’s fault but his own.
“I am verra sorry to disturb ye, sir, so late and especially on this night. May I speak to ye a moment?”
He stepped away to grant her entry. “Aye, o’course ye can. What is it, lass?”
“Before, sir. I lied to ye.”
He was too tired to think of what the lass could have lied to him about. “What do ye mean, Gara?”
“The night Edana brought me to ye months ago, she was no carrying yer child, no that night. She was no with child tonight, either.”
“What?” Her words hit him square in the chest, too much for his sleepy, guilty, grief-stricken mind to absorb.
“I’m telling ye that Edana lied to ye, sir. She was no expecting a child.”
“If that’s true, lass, how did she die?”
“I doona know, sir. Women sometimes do bleed unexpectedly. She just lost too much blood too quickly.”
Arran paced around the room, unsure of how to take what the lass was telling him. He was hesitant to believe her even though he himself had questioned Edana for so long. “How can ye be certain that she was no with child?”
“I examined her meself. There was no child inside her, never was.”
Relief washed over him. He was not pleased by Edana’s death to be sure, but if what Gara told him this time was true, at least he could rest in the know
ledge that it was not he that had caused it, and there had not been a child lost as well.
“Thank ye, lass. So when ye told me she had no threatened ye, I suppose ye lied about that as well, aye?”
“Aye. I could no risk her harming me children, sir, and we were in desperate need of the payment she gave me for me untruth. I apologize for any hurt I have caused ye.”
“Doona worry, it was no yer fault. I’ll no speak ill of the dead, but it was wrong of Edana to have ye do so. But before I let ye go…”
She stared at him hesitantly. “Aye?”
“Is there more ye know, lass?” Arran needed desperately to know all. “Anything else ye can share about why this has happened?”
Her eyes rounded wider as her head shook a denial. “Nothing at all,” she whispered.
“Then ye may leave me now.”
Gara quickly left him. As she did so, he sat alone in his bedchamber wrestling with his flurry of emotions. To go so quickly from overwhelming guilt and loss to possible relief and optimism at his future brought on a different sense of guilt.
He already knew that Edana was a horrible person and now after what he’d learned, it seemed he knew not just how horrible she truly was. Still, it felt wrong for him to be relieved at her death.
The lass had lied to him for some time. He couldn’t deny knowing that had caused him to lose respect for her. But he would lay his wife to rest. Anyone deserved that much.
He was now free from a union that should never have been. As soon as he saw Edana laid peacefully to rest, he would ride to Conall Castle to retrieve his heart.
To retrieve Blaire.
Chapter 37
Conall Castle
The few days leading up to Edana’s burial Arran had spent in solitude, silently making peace with her death and his regrettable decisions that had linked him to her. But now
that he knew the truth of Edana’s lies, he realized there was only so much responsibility he could take in what happened to her.
He would not allow himself to be haunted by Edana any longer. Once she was buried, he rode immediately for his home. He’d been surprised when Eoin had not come to him at the news of Edana’s death, but he’d buried her quickly so he thought perhaps his brother simply hadn’t had time. He could explain it all to him once he arrived back home.
Some of his new clansmen would question how he could move on so quickly, but he knew that anyone who’d spent any time in Edana’s company or that of her father’s would understand.
Arran couldn’t wait to see Blaire, to run to her and beg her to come back to him now that they could truly be together as husband and wife and build the family they always wanted to have with one another.
Arran nudged his horse with the back of his heels as he saw the stables ahead of him. He was so close, only a few more moments and he would be able to hold her once more.
He rode into the stables at full speed, pulling up on the rein hard so that he could fling himself off the side of his horse. He hardly noticed Kip standing in the corner until he heard the old stable master’s voice behind him.
“Arran, ’tis good to see ye, lad, but what brings ye here? The castle is empty save meself and a few other servants.”
Arran walked toward Kip and clasped his dear friend on both shoulders. “Have they gone down to shoot arrows then?”
Confusion filled him as he watched Kip shake his head. Where else could everyone have gone? Not far surely. “Where can I find them then?”
“Slow down, lad. I’ll ask ye again. Why have ye come here? I only just received word about yer wife three days past. I’m truly sorry, lad.”
Kip’s words brought back the sharp pain of Edana’s death. No matter how he felt about her, he could not help but regret the loss of someone so young. If only she’d had the time, he thought perhaps she could’ve become a better person than she was when she died. “Ach, thank ye, Kip, but ye know as well as I that I should no have married her in the first place. ’Twas an awful mistake and one that I doona wish to repeat by allowing meself to spend one more moment apart from the lass I’m meant to marry. Where is she, Kip? Where’s Blaire?”
Arran’s nerves built as he watched Kip turn his face downward and awkwardly pick out the ground with his foot. Kip hesitated to tell him something, and it frightened him greatly. “What is it, Kip? Doona tell me that something has happened to her. Is she well? Ye must tell me at once.”
“Nay, lad, naught has happened to the lass, but she isna here. She’s at MacChristy Castle with the rest of yer family. She’s set to marry yer cousin Baodan in two days.”
“What? How could this happen?” Arran set to mount his horse, not wanting to stay a moment where Blaire was not.
“Well what do ye mean, lad? He asked her I suppose.”
“So she doesna know of what’s happened to Edana?” He turned the horse in the stables so that he could ride in the direction of MacChristy Castle.
“I doona know, lad. She may by now, but I was the only one here when the messenger arrived with the news. I sent him straight for MacChristy Castle to find Eoin. He is probably just arriving.”
Arran spurred the horse forward, calling back to Kip over his shoulder. “Thank ye, Kip. I shall see ye soon. I doona intend on staying away from Conall Castle so long ever again.”
* * *
MacChristy Castle
The messenger arrived in late evening on the day before I was to marry Baodan. I was away in me old bedchamber with Bri as she played with me hair, teasing it into different arrangements for the wedding when Adelle burst through the door, red-faced and breathless.
“Mom, what is it?”
Bri dropped the strands of me hair she was holding and rushed to her mother’s side. I could tell that something was verra wrong, and I nervously twisted in me seat so that I could face her.
“Edana is dead. The man said her child tried to come early and both she and the baby have died.”
The room suddenly felt much too small. As tears threatened, I stood to make me way outside, but Bri reached out and grabbed me hand to stop me. I dinna know what to think of Edana’s death. I’d lived in jealousy of her for having Arran when I could not and for carrying his child, but I wouldna have wished such a fate upon anyone.
“Blaire, are you alright?”
I nodded and pulled out of her grasp. “Aye, only sad. Arran doesna deserve such pain. Does Eoin know?”
Adelle nodded and turned to address Bri. “Yes, he plans to ride out in the morning. He shall miss the wedding, but he wishes to be at his brother’s side.”
“As he should. I’m going to go outside to sit in the garden awhile. I think it best I spend some time alone.”
I dinna wait for either of them to respond. Holding back the tears as long as I could, they burst forth the moment I stepped out the back side of the castle and into the garden. I sat down on a splintered wooden bench, poorly crafted by me father when he was a young lad, and placed me head in me hands as I wept.
I dinna know for whom I cried, but the tears fell freely until I felt a strong hand touch me back. I’d been certain I was alone, and I’d heard no one approach. Brushing me closed eyes against me sleeve, I opened them and looked up right into the face of Arran.
Chapter 38
At first I thought I’d imagined him, too many nights of memories of him haunting me in me dreams finally come to torture me while I was awake. I leapt out of his gasp, staring open-mouthed as he spoke to me.
“Blaire, why are ye crying, lass?”
He moved forward to touch me, and I jerked away from him once more. “Doona touch me. Ye should no be here, Arran. ’Tis no true what I just heard about Edana and yer child?”
“Nay, only part of what ye heard was true. I’m here to tell ye the rest and to make sure that ye doona marry Baodan. Now tell me, why are ye crying?”
“Ye ask that as if I have naught to cry over.” I could no say just one thing I cried for, there were many. I was heartbroken for Ar
ran’s loss, I was heartbroken for meself, and I was angry that he would choose now to reappear in me life.
“Ye doona have reason anymore, lass. Now that Edana is gone, I am no longer married. Doona marry Baodan. Marry me, as ye are meant to.”
Feelings of heartbreak disappeared, and disgust filled me at Arran’s callousness over the death of his wife. I’d known that living with her wouldna be easy for him, but he was a man quite changed from the Arran I had once known and loved. “How can ye speak to me so when she hasna been dead a week? I know that ye dinna love her, but ye disrespect us both by speaking of her so now and behaving as if I could rejoice in her death and claim ye as me own.”
His brows pulled together, and I could see he was struggling with his words. “Forgive me, lass. I doona mean to sound so cold-hearted, but believe me there are things that ye doona know, and I wish to tell ye now. And ye know me well. I have no way about me with the right saying of words.”
He sat down where he’d found me and motioned for me to do the same. Hesitantly, I did so, keeping some distance between us, for I knew all too well the power his touch wielded over me. “Then tell it, but I willna marry ye, Arran. I have promised meself to Baodan, and I shall marry him tomorrow.”
He shook his head, unbothered by me words. “Nay, ye will do no such thing, lass. If I have to bind ye and carry ye off from here meself, I will do so, but ye willna be marrying anyone save me.”
I dinna know what to say to that. Part of me wanted to kiss him and tell him how much I’d missed him, while the other part of me wanted to hit him over the head with something large and heavy. I decided to stay silent and wait for him to speak again.
It dinna take him long to oblige me. “Forgive me for sounding cold about Edana’s death, but the lass was a wretched woman, and I canna claim that I am no glad to be free of her. She lied to me, lass. She was never carrying me child.”
Morna's Legacy: Box Set #1 Page 38
