by Oxford, Rain
“Really? That would be great. She may be educated, but I expect her to be the most boring snob I have ever met.”
“Do you know many boring snobs?”
I shrieked with surprise and Kseve pushed me behind him. Zeda was leaning against the door, somehow having snuck behind me and my guard. She could have killed me!
Kseve did not like to be startled, so he instinctively drew his sword and held it ready. Zeda’s eyes widened dramatically. “Did you just draw your sword on the High King’s wife?”
I nudged Kseve’s arm gently until he lowered his weapon. “What are you doing here?” I asked while Kseve sheathed his sword. “I thought you were traveling with your servants, your sisters, and your things.”
“They were moving too slowly and I got bored. Besides, I wanted to test your security before I entrusted my life to it. I will need my own guard, because I refuse to stay locked up in the castle all day,” she said. Kseve nudged me in the side, but I ignored him. “And I will need my own library because I doubt yours will be big enough for my collection. When I am home, I will be in there.” Kseve nudged me harder. “Also just because we are married and will have children, I expect my own room. If I must smile and pretend to agree with egotistical, money-hungry bigots all day, I will need a place to retreat to that I can lock from the inside.” Kseve nudged me even harder. “Now, I am not difficult to please. If my library is private, that can be my bedroom. As far as food goes, I will eat whatever. I do, however, like tea in the morning because listening to royal meetings gives me headaches.”
Kseve nudged me hard enough I was almost knocked over. “I know, I know!” I barked at him.
Zeda gave me a look like I was being irrational. “Do you need some tea?” she asked.
My guard finally couldn’t take it anymore; he began to laugh, right there in public. People on the street stopped to stare, as my guard was as stoic as they came and a laughing goblin was a strange sight to see. “You believe you will be just fine, Nila,” my guard said.
* * *
Over the next few days, I rarely saw my new wife. We met outside to be greeted by visiting kings. Zeda was polite and elegant to the point of being nausea-inducing, only to vanish the moment we were out of the public eye. Her library was indeed larger than mine, but Thessa invited me to explore it, while the oldest of the siblings was nowhere to be found. My guards, who were all dile except for Kseve, reported seeing her return to the castle in common clothing with treats and trinkets from the town for her sisters. Apparently, she was enjoying the city.
It was disappointed, because I felt like I should have been introducing my wife to her new home myself. She was really a beautiful woman. She was twenty years old, the same height as me, and was too smart for her own good.
Since we only ever saw each other in the public eye, I would pretend to be even more proper than her. This caused her to reciprocate, until we were playing a game of who could be more elegant and sophisticated in public. Nano thought it was hilarious when he himself wasn’t gagging and the town thought Zeda was having a good influence on me.
I once made her laugh in front of the entire council by purposefully mispronouncing the name of one unfortunately-named king. I woke up the next morning with a small, glass songbird on my nightstand. The little trinket was a replica of my favorite bird.
I found out from Kseve that Zeda had found it in the city and got it for me. That day, while we were posing for a painting, Zeda had the brilliant idea to change the color of her scarf every time the artist looked away. I found it so amusing that the artist glared at me, assuming I was the cause, since Zeda kept a completely pleasant and innocent smile.
For making my afternoon so enjoyable, I went out as soon as we were done and found a very rare and special book, which I asked Ada to leave on Zeda’s nightstand. When I opened my door the next morning, I found my arms full of my wife and she hugged me with absolute enthusiasm. After a few seconds where I was frozen with shock, I pushed her away gently.
“You should not touch me,” I said as gently as I could.
Her face fell. “I am sorry,” she said, her voice unsure for the first time. I hated the shame and doubt in her eyes as she looked down at the floor.
I reached out, pushed her chin up with a finger, and then quickly let go. “No, I am sorry. When we touch, my void blood will destroy your magic energy.” Her eyes widened. “Not for long. Any energy you absorb from the world is drawn to me and destroyed when we touch. Once you let go, you will be fine, but no one has ever touch me for long, so I have no idea what long-term exposure might cause.”
“So you have never been with a woman before?”
“No woman has ever been willing to risk their magic even to kiss me.”
Before I could say another word, she leaned up slightly and kissed me. Her lips were warm and softer than what I thought a kiss would be. It occurred to me that I was being rude by not kissing her back, but by then she was done and had stepped away.
“Thank you for the book,” she said, then turned and ran off. When I finally arrived at breakfast, she smiled at me but otherwise ignored me to fuss over her sisters.
The younger sisters were adapting well, except that Ada refused to eat anything other than candy. Having come up with a plan the night before, I spoke with the cooks. A plate was prepared especially for Ada that included vegetables and meat deep-fried with sweet breads. The cooks were under the instructions to gradually decrease both the sugar and the bread until the child would eat regular food.
As much as uprooting her life and moving away from her father was a shock, I couldn’t very well force the girl to change her diet, but I figured fried vegetables were better than candied sugar. The child must have figured out what I was doing, because while I was sitting in my library that evening, Ada came in and sat beside me. Without saying anything to her, I began reading aloud. She had been warned not to touch me, even though she clearly wanted to lean against me.
At dinner, she sat to my left while Zeda sat to my right. I was fully prepared for Zeda to be angry with me over making the decision to change Ada’s diet without my wife’s knowledge. Instead, I woke the next morning to a drawing of Ada and me in the library and another kiss when I opened my door.
Before she could run off, I took her hand and pulled her into my room so we could talk in private. We both sat on my bed, facing each other without touching, and talked. She told me about her life growing up and what her mother was like. She had many funny stories about her sisters, as well as some sad ones.
Once she ran out of things to say, I told her about my life… it was a much more somber story. Several times, she would reach out to take my hand, only to freeze and take it back. She was afraid of my curse even if she was willing to kiss me.
“Is there any way to stop your curse?”
I sighed. “I have been offered it before by one of the gods. Adre became the leader of a slave ring in the under cities. Nano’s wife, Vivian, helped me stop it, but when I faced Adre, Vretial came to me and offered to undo the curse.”
“You said no?”
“I am a void. That is all I have ever been. It was never pleasant or easy, but it is my life. The void is not evil any more than death is. You have magic; you are bonded to Dios by that magic. I am a void; I am just as bonded to the abyss that is beyond the universe. Were my curse to end, maybe my life would be better, but this is all I know.”
“Even if it means we can never touch?” she asked.
“I have prepared myself to be alone since my mother left me.”
“That is not really an answer to my question.”
A knock on the door disturbed the sudden silence. Kseve entered before I could answer it. “Hello, High King and High King’s wife,” the goblin said rudely.
“Forgive him, he has no manners,” I said.
The goblin glared at me. “If I have no manners, then perhaps I should keep this food I brought you all for myself,” he said, indicating the metal tray i
n his hands that was piled high with food. I jumped up from the bed to plead, but it was Zeda who beat me to it.
“No, Nila is sorry! Please! I want the food! I have not eaten in several hours!” She put on a first-class whine and I was almost impressed. I had never seen someone look pretty while whining.
The guard uncharacteristically gave in and passed the tray to her, which she pretended to horde from me until Kseve left. After eating, I showed her some of my favorite books in the library. That night, we returned to my room to talk some more and we fell asleep on my bed. I put a pillow between us so we wouldn’t accidentally touch.
* * *
I woke to the most horrible sound in the world; Zeda was throwing up. The door of the luxurious bathroom attached to my bedroom was open and the violent sound echoed off the stone walls. I went to the open door. Zeda was sweating, her face pale.
“The food must have made me sick because I feel horrible,” she said, sitting back.
I knew it was pity on my face, but it was for myself. “It was not the food that made you sick. We were too close last night, even if we never touched.”
She looked horrified. “So we cannot even sleep in the same bed?”
I turned, unable to stomach what I was doing.
“Wait, I can deal with this. You are worth it,” she said. Then she threw up again.
I stepped out of my room and shut the door behind me. Kseve stood to the left of my door. “Bring her some medicine and tea,” I said. I hid the rest of the morning in my library with the door locked.
Is that what I did to my mother? If my curse was passed down to my child, would Zeda be unable to sleep in the same room as him? Would my child cry all night for his mother while she stood in the other room, having to listen to him without going to him?
I sat on the floor and did something I had only ever done a few times; I prayed to Zer. I prayed that if he couldn’t cure my curse, he would send Vretial. After hours of no response, when my muscles cramped from my position and my stomach growled, I stood and returned to my room. Zeda was not there.
I started a bath as I considered how to go about getting the curse removed. My best bet was to convince Nano to talk to Zer, but Zer was not an accommodating god. I tried calling to Tiamat, but I didn’t get a response out of her either.
A knock sounded on my door right as I was about to get into the tub. I considered ignoring it for a second until the knock came again, louder and more hurried. I wrapped a towel around me and opened the door. To my surprise, it was Vivian who stood in the hallway. I realized something was off about her eyes as she pushed me back and shut the door behind her.
“What’s going on?” I asked in English. “Where’s Nano?”
Instead of answering me, she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. She was tall, well endowed, and gorgeous, but it felt like I was being kissed by my sister. I pushed her away as gently as I could. I wanted answers, not to hurt her.
“What are you doing?”
“I can’t stop thinking about you. I love you, Nila.”
Frozen in shock, I couldn’t react when she kissed me again. She let me go long enough to undo my towel and then pulled her shirt over her head. Her deep red hair was mussed, but not a tangled mess, while her cheeks were flushed and her lips were swollen slightly from kissing me. Her eyes were not nearly as bright and focused as they normally were.
“Where is Nano?” I asked, taking a step back. I tripped over the towel and fell hard.
“Who cares?” She got down on top of me and tried to kiss me again, but I pushed her away.
A sharp gasp made me turn and look. Zeda was standing in the doorway with shock and heartbreak very clear on her face. Vivian still tried to reach for me, but I pushed her away again. Zeda left and by the time I was able to make it past Vivian to the door, Zeda was gone. Kseve, who was standing by my door, was staring down the hall. I figured that was the way she had gone.
I dressed faster than I ever had in my life. “Lock Vivian in a room somewhere until whatever is in her system clears.” I took off down the hall before he could ask any questions, but I couldn’t find her. Eventually, I found Ada, who hadn’t seen her sister all day, and Thessa, who refused to tell me anything.
“She will still marry you,” the teenager said, “but she does not want to see you otherwise. How could you betray her? Zeda is the sweetest---”
“It is not what you think. I never betrayed her.”
“Sleeping with another woman is not betraying your wife?”
“Vivian is Nano’s wife, and I never slept with her. What happened in there was wrong. I feel nothing more for Vivian than I would a sister, and when she comes out of whatever affliction she is under, she will probably throw up with shame because she feels nothing for me.”
“Zeda will never trust you again.”
I sighed and crossed my arms. I knew anything I touched would crumble in my hands. My face could forever be calm, but inner turmoil always doubled or even tripled my strength. “I know. Just tell her I am sorry and that it was not what it looked like.”
“Do you love Zeda?” Thessa asked.
“Can you love someone you have only known for a few days?” Even as I said that, I knew the answer.
* * *
After five days of not seeing Zeda at all, I really missed her. She had food brought to her own room and wouldn’t visit her library. I told her sisters I would stay out of her way so she didn’t have to avoid me, but the woman wouldn’t even let Thessa or Ada in.
At my meetings, the kings and the council asked where my wife was. I told them she was just very busy, but I recognized the looks they sent each other. They all thought my void blood had something to do with it, which I wished was the case.
Vivian had come out of her trance within hours of the event, but I hadn’t heard anything else about her other than that she didn’t know what caused it and that she was too ashamed to see me.
After one particularly boring meeting, during which I could only think of Zeda, I went to her room. Instead of speaking or knocking, I just sat outside the door. When a servant brought Zeda food, I just scooted to the side so I wasn’t in the way and hoped I would hear Zeda. She didn’t say anything, though.
* * *
I woke in my own bed, which Kseve must have moved me to in my sleep. It was the morning of the practice ceremony. Our real ceremony was the next day, but I knew if I couldn’t get Zeda to talk to me during the practice, I would cancel our wedding. I couldn’t have a wife who hated me any more than I could have a mother who wanted to drown me.
It was a somber, rainy morning as I dressed in my official wedding clothes. I wore black pants with gold stitching, a simple undershirt, and a long, stiff black jacket with gold embroidery of my family crest. And what a family it was.
I had nothing to be proud of as the High King. I was born with the right and came into it by being the only one who survive aside from my older brother, who killed my father. For my struggles, I ruled a world of power-hungry people who normally acted less intelligent than trolls and less civil than goblins.
I didn’t want to be king; I just didn’t want the power to be given to people who would destroy the world. Or maybe it didn’t matter anymore. What was I even fighting for? The moment I fell, someone would start the war all over again. I couldn’t protect these people from themselves forever. I didn’t want to.
It started raining as I stepped outside. It seemed fitting.
With Kseve beside me, I followed the path until I reached the edge of my inner city and stood in an open field. A small, round stage made of glass was in the middle of the field. I could see Zeda on the opposite end of the field. It was tradition that we were supposed to meet in the middle at the same time, but this wasn’t a morning for tradition.
There was a general murmur of confusion as I left my station and walked across the field to meet Zeda at hers. She was as beautiful as ever in her white dress and silver shoes. Her sisters both backed awa
y, giving us space as I stopped beside her.
“This is not how it works,” she whispered, refusing to look at me.
“Is it not? That is funny; I thought I was High King and could change the rules. I guess I will go back to---” I stopped when she reached out to grasp my hand. When I gently took my hand away, a tear ran down her cheek.
“You refuse to touch me but you would have that woman all over you?” Everyone looked at us from the loud voice she used. “You said you had never been kissed before,” she whispered.
“I had not been. Vivian is human and has no magic. What you saw was out of her control and mine.” At the sound of a whistle, we both started walking slowly towards the stage. Traditional music was played.
“Was she under a spell?” Zeda asked hopefully.
I wouldn’t lie to her. “No. A spell would have been negated by my void blood. She was under something, however. You may just be marrying me for your father’s sake, but I will never have anyone else in my bed.”
“You can touch Vivian, though. Why would you be with me instead when you cannot touch me?”
“Vivian is like vegetables,” Ada said from behind us. “Just because everyone else likes her, that does not mean Nila does.”
“Your brilliant sister is correct,” I said, taking Zeda’s hand in mine. “You are like my sweet bread. You may not be healthy, but I would never eat anything without you.” We reached the steps to the platform.
She stopped, turned to me, and took her hand away. “So if I refuse to marry you, you will stop eating?” Although her face was serious, I knew the look in her eyes from all the boring meetings she had to sit through with me.
“I will refuse to eat ever again.”
She laughed, but pushed me away. Unlike Vivian, she was dile, so she was strong enough to push me. “I will not forgive you just because you threaten to starve.”
