I used my hands to lift myself up to sit right next to Nick, my eyes lingering on his black dress pants. He'd been wearing a white short-sleeved dress shirt, and his hair was currently down compared to its previous tied up state.
He offered his hand, and I beamed at the gesture, placing mine in his immediately. We glanced toward Isa, who was still looking at a few more papers, the white sheets having multiple graphs and other numbers and stats I knew neither of us would understand.
I leaned my head against Nick's shoulder and he ended up resting his head on mine, the both of us lost in our own thoughts as we waited for Isa to finish.
The process today was a little longer than usual, but it was comforting to have each other's support, especially when it came to nerve-wracking medical exams. Neither of us was fond of them. Nick seemed to hate them with a passion, even though he had no knowledge of being around those machineries as a kid.
Isa lifted her legs up on the side chair that was next to her desk, shifting the papers to get a good look at a particular graph.
I took my time to observe Isa's beauty. I had no clue what her real name was, but she was such a bundle of beauty and brains.
She had long golden locks, their natural loose curls always appearing so perfect it made me wonder if Isa needed to do anything to keep her beauty. Her hair was currently down, and her gold eyes focused on the different graphs she was analyzing.
Her pale skin was flawless, no imperfection in sight, and those rosy cheeks of her brightened her overall appearance with the addition of her smooth pink lips. Right away, you'd know without a doubt she had an angel spirit as if her body or aura itself glowed with light and made you feel safe.
She was 5'7", but she always wore the perfect heels that made her look closer to 6'0". I consistently wondered if Isa had always lived this life. To help those here in Fairytale town and assist in raising the children.
Everyone looked up to her, and she was such a humble individual it made me curious as to why she didn't marry or have kids of her own. I guess everyone has their own story.
She finally finished reviewing the graphs and lowered her legs so she could stand up and walk to where we sat. "Both your mental status' are stable now, but I did notice a few stress lines on Mako's reports. Something bothering you, Mako?" Isa asked, her gold eyes meeting mine.
I bit my lip hesitantly, looking at Nick who squeezed my hand. "I trust Isa. She won't say anything," Nick whispered.
Isa strolled to the door and locked it before she flicked a switch. We both gave her confused looks and she turned around and smiled. “The switch activates a barrier around the room so nothing can be heard. Your privacy is respected, and I ensure that nothing you say will be shared with anyone else. The Starlight gods are my witness," Isa declared.
I gave her a sweet smile before I took a deep breath. "I've been having...I guess memory flashbacks, I think?"
"Have you been taking your pills?" Isa asked.
I nodded. "Yes. Two of them. It's not like I get them out of nowhere. I think they're triggered. I guess when something from my past happens, I have some sort of reaction, and I say things before I even think about what's happening. It happened twice during our last job, and I'm concerned...well I'm concerned either Anna or even Jeffrey will find out. I already know the medication is intended to stop us from having those stressors, but taking any more would be a hindrance with the side effects."
Isa nodded in understanding, crossed her arms over her chest, and relaxed against the wall opposite from us. "Yes. I wouldn't recommend more than two. It would be dangerous, and I don't want you dealing with any side effects, especially with your power level."
She closed her eyes for a moment, deep in thought. It gave me the impression she was talking with her spirit.
"Izzy thinks your body is getting used to the pills, or your body is purposely rejecting them," Isa announced.
"Purposely?" Nick asked.
"In some rare instances, the body can reject a treatment. Not because it thinks it’s bad, but more that it believes the treatment is counterproductive. These memories are obviously from your past, and it has only been two rotations since you arrived, so this response is understandable," Isa elaborated.
"What should I do?" I asked.
Isa pouted her lip, looking at the window for a moment before she answered. "The better question is, do you want to remember your past?"
"Huh?" I commented.
"Isn't that against the rules?" Nick asked.
"Yes and no. Yes, the rules at base are to continue to take your pills and complete your missions as requested. It's not against the rules when no one knows about it." She looked back to see our shocked expressions.
"Isa knows how to break the rules," I whispered to Nick.
"Maybe she's secretly a demon angel and we've been fooled," Nick whispered back. Isa rolled her eyes and they began to glow, her spirit Izzy taking control.
"I'm an angel spirit, but rules are made to be broken," she declared with a shrug.
"I think that contradicts your entire existence," I pointed out. Hope entered my mind and took control.
"I agree with Izzy," she stated.
Nick sighed. "Hope, you're so random."
"No, I'm not. I just like entering the conversation when it's intriguing."
At least you're not random like Midnight, I pointed out in our mind.
"I'm not random," Midnight announced, her presence coming out of nowhere. Hope flinched. "Holy Starlight, Midnight! Where’d you come from?" Hope said out loud.
"I wanted to answer. Goodbye," Midnight replied, and poof, she was gone.
Hope retreated, and I took control, shaking my head. "Midnight's scary."
Nick snickered. "Bleu doesn't think so."
"Bleu has a crush on Midnight."
Nick shrugged. "Maybe yes, maybe no."
Izzy smiled, enjoying our little moment. "I think you should remember your past, Mako."
We both looked at Izzy and saw the sadness in her glowing gold eyes.
"Izzy?" I asked.
"Why is that?" Nick asked, looking a bit concerned. Izzy lifted her hand to ruffle through her curly locks that continued to keep its perfected look.
"Too many shifters here, they wish to be able to remember where they came from. The idea of being an orphan or abandoned without reasoning haunts them. The Starlight gods couldn't simply allow us all to come from nowhere. We all were born into the world, and though some families may have made the decision to abandon us to die, I doubt everyone here had the same predicament. I get that rogues are involved, and they have been caught erasing shifter memories and leaving them for death...but I feel like there's more, and maybe you'll be able to find out," Izzy explained.
Nikolai and I were both silent, taking in her wise words as she smiled. "Choose wisely, Mako. My decision to be here was a choice. You don't need to follow the rules if you'll regret it cycles later."
She closed her eyes, and when they opened, Isa’s gold eyes returned. She sighed, giving us a sympathetic smile. "Izzy gets a bit emotional when we discuss the past."
"Isa. Were you in the same predicament as me, or even Nick?" I asked.
"Yes and no," she replied, walking over to her desk. "Yes, I was kidnapped by rogues. I guess their goal was to use me as ransom, but I was a rather noncompliant hostage and they ended up erasing my memories and throwing me onto the mountain to die."
Hope entered my mind once more, listening in as Isa continued. "Jeffrey and the Queen of Wintalyn had found me and took me in. The base wasn't as established as it is now, so I stayed in the castle until I recovered. Soon I'd gotten my role as healer, and Jeffrey had proposed the creation of the base due to the multitude of shifters being found on the mountain with no memories. The Queen approved, and the base was created. After that, I discovered this place, and with some help from the townspeople it became my new home."
"Did your memories come back?" Nick asked.
Isa was qu
iet for a moment, turning around to meet our gaze. "Yes. They did. I was instructed to take the pills, and I did just that. Yet, every time I heard a baby's cry it triggered a reaction. I'd excuse myself and breakdown, but I didn't know why. Izzy and I got tired of it, and deep within, we wanted to know who we really were."
"Wait. Isa, if you remember, why did you stay?" I asked, feeling Hope's curiosity about the subject. I didn't get why she was intrigued with the story, but maybe she'd remember something.
"When I remembered, five cycles had passed. How could I possibly go back to the life I used to have? By now, they would have presumed I was dead. I know I had a family... I literally had a son weeks before I was taken. He would have been five by then, and my other son seven. How would they cope with having a mother they didn't remember?" Isa whispered.
I lowered my head, feeling sad for Isa and her loss. She had a family and remembered them, yet she had to make the decision of whether her intrusion into her family would be worth it.
"But...doesn't it hurt?" Nick asked. I looked up to see his sad eyes, and I pondered if Nikolai remembered his past, if he'd still stay here after growing up on this realm.
"Yes. Everyday. I wonder how my boys are doing or even my stubborn husband. He was a man who would never admit how lonely he was, and rather listen to his people than the ones closest to him. Somehow, I always got through to him, but I bet he's probably remarried and moved on. Not because he didn't love me. I knew if I walked back into his life, he'd choose me in a heartbeat, but the position he was in...well, he would eventually have to move on for the sake of many."
She took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. "By the time I had to make a decision, I'd made my name here and had a foundation as a healer. I couldn't be selfish and abandon everything here, including the children who relied on my love to live. Without me, they would have no one else to lean on, but maybe it was selfish of me to not look back and return to the family who also needed me. My sweet sons who needed a mother in a realm that isn't as forgiving as you'd think they should be. It's a tricky situation to be in, really."
"You miss them," I whispered. She met my eyes and slowly nodded.
"Yes. Maybe one day I'll have the courage to go back. Even if I can get a glimpse of my sons and see the men they've grown up to be without me. As for my husband...I hope he is well. If I could see him, I'd be grateful...but it would be painful to acknowledge he's moved on to someone better," Isa concluded.
She walked up to me and placed her hand on my left cheek. "I won't deny the fact that remembering your past is painful. I wouldn't wish it on anyone else. However, with the number of spirits you have, I think it would be best to see how you got them. It would also give you the choice to choose whether being here is your true calling, or if there's something you need to do elsewhere in this vast galaxy."
I nodded, and Isa smiled in approval, moving her hand from my cheek before she walked back to her desk. I lowered my gaze, and I felt Hope's sadness as well.
"What if we have to go back?" she whispered.
I don't know, Hope.
"Mako."
I raised my gaze to Nikolai, who used his free hand to stroke my right cheek with his thumb. "No matter what, I'll be right there," he said softly. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded in understanding, and he leaned in to give me a tender kiss.
"No matter what?"
"No matter what," he confirmed.
I felt bad that I kept questioning Nikolai's loyalty, making it seem like I was a broken record. I knew deep within me that he'd stay true to his words, but the fear of not knowing my past always got the best of me.
The fear of losing him is stronger than the fear of knowing who I really am.
Hope seemed to be satisfied as well, and she left my mind. We looked back at Isa as she returned to us holding two bottles of white capsules.
"Take these. Nikolai, you may if you like, but Mako, yours is mandatory," Isa instructed.
"What do they do?" I asked, reaching out for mine that was in a pink container. Nikolai's was in a red one, but the capsules looked exactly like the ones we normally took.
"They'll relax your mind and allow your memories to come through without triggering a reaction. It lessens the stress on your mind, and it will help your spirits as well. For Mako, Midnight seems to be very dominant out of your other spirits. She might be able to recall different areas of your past," Isa explained and looked at Nick.
"As for you, Nikolai. I'm unsure if this will help with your childhood memories, but I would say try it out. It could potentially help you remember your parents or how you ended up on Wintalyn if you weren't born here."
"Okay. Guess it's worth a shot," Nick replied, taking his bottle with his free hand. We both stared at the bottles in wonder. They literally look like the ones we take. Do we stop the other ones?
"Yes, Mako. Don't take the ones assigned to you," Isa pointed out.
"Did I say that out loud?" I asked.
"Yes," Nick said with a grin. "Still cute." He winked.
"Hmph, for you," I mumbled.
"These capsules are something I've made and improved for cycles, but I've kept them a secret because I don't trust anyone else keep these from Jeffrey. He's not a bad person, but he has his rules and what he needs to do when the time calls for it. You could say some of his actions look unethical and rather harming, but he tries to look at things from a future perspective. Either way, I've made them look like the regular pills, so he doesn't question anything. I'll get you smaller containers for when you're on the job, and I've updated the report with a note attached that I upgraded your medication. He shouldn't have any concerns with that," Isa revealed.
"Once I remember though, what should I do? Can I come here?" I asked.
"Of course you can, Mako. Bring Nikolai with you and we'll figure it out together. No matter who you are, we'll work this out and I will support whatever decision you make, even if it means I might not get to see either of you once that decision has been put into place," Isa whispered, giving us a sweet smile.
"If we had to go to another realm...would you be willing to come at least once to see us? Even if it's just a few days?" Nick asked.
"Yes. I could do that. I have to admit, it's been a long time since I've taken a vacation. I guess it's long overdue." Isa giggled, the sound like music to my ears.
Nick and I exchanged a look, both of us pleased with how everything turned out. "Guess we can go home?" Nick asked.
"Yes, you can. Make sure you take Nighty with you," Isa replied as she began to gather the test results to their correct sections.
"Huh? Nighty’s not here," I pointed out.
"Mew."
Nick and I gave each other confused looks, looking around to see where the low mew came from. We heard a bit off rattling from above our heads, and we looked up see Nighty sitting on one of the circular lights.
"Mew." She looked at me with her cute mismatched eyes, and I sighed.
"What are you doing up there, Nighty?" I asked.
"She always chills up there, or roams around the ventilation system during your appointments. I always have to get her down though. She doesn't like heights, does she?" Isa asked.
"Guess not, but she loves climbing to high places." I rolled my eyes.
"Mew mew," Nighty whimpered.
Nick sighed. "I'll get her down."
"Thank you," I whispered, squeezing his hand.
He grinned and kissed my cheek. "Anything for you, Mako."
"If you two get married, I better be invited." Isa hummed.
We both blushed and shyly looked away which made her giggle.
Nick got Nighty down, and we wrapped things up with Isa who walked us out of her beautiful home. The sun was beginning to set, and we decided to go to a restaurant to eat.
"Thanks for everything Isa."
"Yes. Thank you. You really eased a lot of anxiety for us both," Nick added.
"That's why I'm here. Now you enjoy yo
ur evening date, and if you have any issues, let me know." Isa winked at our flushed expressions before she waved goodbye.
"Bye!" Nick and I said together and began walking back to the fields. Nighty was running around us, chasing after a firefly.
I stared at her for a moment, coming to a stop as my mind lingered on the glowing insect that Nighty was concentrated on chasing.
"Mako?"
"Hmm?"
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Just the word firefly comes to my head, but I don't know why. Feels like it has a meaning to me," I admitted.
"We don't get them here often," Nick commented.
"I figured because of how different the climate can be throughout this realm. Just wonder why the name of an insect feels significant?"
Nikolai followed my gaze and squeezed my hand. "Fireflies only come out during the twilight of the night-" Nick began but I finished his sentence.
"With the intentions of finding their mate or prey."
I blinked and slowly looked at Nick who didn't seem shocked like before. He smiled and nodded his head in approval. "Yup. Aren't they pretty?" he whispered as his expression softened.
I wasn't scared like the other times, and though I didn't know who said those words, the thought was more comforting.
"It's not scary when you accept that you lived another life," Nick acknowledged.
"Yes. It's also nice to know I don't need to lose the people I love in this new life either," I whispered, squeezing his hand back.
He nodded with a wide grin and moved until he faced me. His hands slid around my waist, bringing me closer to him till our bodies pressed against each other.
"It really is, Butterfly," he murmured.
"I think it was Firefly?" I mumbled. "My nickname."
"Hmm. I like Butterfly more, but I can compromise," Nick teased.
"Let's stick with Butterfly for now." I pressed my hands against his chest. His red eyes looked like sparkling rubies with the sunset's rays, and they held immense passion as they stared into my turquoise ones.
"Nikolai," I whispered. He didn't reply but lowered his lips to mine. I closed my eyes, letting go of my anxieties and fears.
Forgotten Fairytale (The Starlight Gods Series Book 7) Page 8
