“I bet you were adorable.”
She shrugged. “Dad would say so, but he’s a bit biased. And who are we kidding about your mom spending hours with me?”
“You wait. She’ll soften up. She’s letting go a bit. As you know, my dad’s not well, and they’d like to travel while he still feels okay. She’ll need to spend most of her time hovering over him, and she’ll forget all about me.”
“They must be thrilled that you’ll be staying around.”
“Understatement.”
“Are you sure this is the right decision for you?”
“The rightest one I’ve ever made. I can’t imagine being away from you and Emma. The pack trips are gonna be torture until they can find someone to help Harley and me take over the meet-and-greet game.”
She smiled, thinking about Ben, dressed cowboy-gorgeous, schmoozing with guests at the Lodge.
“I’ll get you for that smirk.”
Suddenly, his expression serious, Ben reached across and took her hand. “Sweetheart, there’s something I have to tell you. I hope you won’t be angry. I haven’t wanted to say anything the past few days with everything you had on your plate.” Her eyes registered fear, so he hurriedly said, “I told my parents and siblings about Emma. Apparently Dad already knew.”
She nodded.
“He spoke to you, didn’t he?”
“Yes, while you were away.”
“Ruthie, too, I guess.” Another nod. “Family resemblance, I s’pose. I think Beth also suspected, but she keeps everything very close to the chest.”
Before Maggie could reply, they were interrupted by Sadie. “Hi, guys. Thought I might find you here. All’s well. They’ve had to give Emma some of her daddy’s blood, but that’s pretty typical for this kind of surgery. Dr. Dillon wanted you to know that the team is right on schedule. Things are going great.”
Hand on her heart, Maggie said a silent prayer of thanks for Sadie’s news and Ben’s blood. What would we have done without you?
Heart in his throat and overcome with gratitude that a part of him was helping to heal his beloved daughter, Ben said, “Thank you, Sadie. Would you like to join us?”
“Oh, no, thanks. Got to get back. I’ll keep you posted.”
After Sadie disappeared, they gave up on lunch, tossed the remains in the trash, and stepped outside into a small shaded courtyard at the building’s center. The heat felt good after the cafeteria’s air-conditioned arctic temperature. They sat on a bench under a green-and-white-striped awning, and Ben took her hand.
“Do you think there will ever be a good or right time to tell Emma about me? That I’m her daddy?”
She ran her fingers over his rough, callused knuckles, loving the feel of his strong hand. “I’ve been thinking about that ever since we bumped fenders. I want to tell her, Ben. I really do, but I’m not sure if it would be confusing for her. I mean, believe me, she’s crazy about you and wishes with all her heart that you were her daddy.”
Sad, dark eyes gazed down at her. “I know.”
“We’ll find a way. I promise, for your sake and for Emma’s. It’s too important for her not to know.”
He drew her close, drinking in the scent he loved so completely. “I love you, Maggie Williams. Words don’t even begin to tell you how much.”
“I love you, too, Ben Morgan.”
Maggie’s hand caressed his cheek, and he drew her nearer, taking her lips for a soft, gentle kiss, which she returned.
A moment later, she pulled away. “I’m not sure I trust myself with you right now. We’d better go in or risk putting on a spectacle for the cafeteria diners. ”
* * *
Chapter 51
They walked the halls for a while, then returned to Rose’s office. Sadie was away from her desk but had left a note taped to the door saying she would be right back. They dozed a little. Then Maggie called Ned and gave him an update. When she hung up and switched off her cell, she leaned back on the sofa and nestled in Ben’s arms. When he gazed down at her, Ben saw that the tears had returned.
“Hey, hey, sweetheart. We’ve had good reports all day, remember?”
“I know, but it’s been so long. I hate to think of her all alone in that cold, sterile place.”
“She’s not alone. She’s got a whole team of caring experts with her.”
“I wish I could have had the surgery in her place.”
“Me, too, but she’s in good hands, my darling.”
Maggie’s shoulders trembled, tears flowing in earnest now.
Ben checked his watch. It had been six hours. How much longer can she hang on without going crazy? She’s clearly at the end of her rope.
A short time later, Sadie knocked and came in with her thumbs up, reporting that all was still going well. After she closed the door, Maggie reached for a tissue and was surprised to see Ben rise and kneel on the floor beside her. He reached forward and grasped both her hands in his.
“What in the world are you doing?”
“Well, I had hoped to do this at a more romantic time, with candlelight, soft music, and you in a sexy little dress, but here goes.”
“Do what?”
“Maggie Williams, let me say this, please. I love you more than anything in the world, you and our daughter. I never knew love like this existed. I’ve come to the point where I realize that I cannot live without you any more than I could live without breathing. My darling, beautiful Maggie, will you marry me?”
From his pocket, Ben pulled a ring, which he set in his open palm. “Sorry, sweetheart, the box didn’t fit in my jeans. It was my grandmother’s. I had it reset when I was in California. If you don’t like it, we can go shopping and find another.”
Dark eyes peered up at hers, love and expectation in his gaze. Gently Maggie touched the ring with her finger. “It’s so beautiful.”
“Is that a yes?”
She withdrew her finger and rested it in her lap. “Ben, I’m overwhelmed and flattered. I think you know how much I love you, too, and how much I want to be with you. You and Emma are the center of my universe.”
“Darling, please put me out of my misery. Are you saying yes?”
Her eyes sad, she shook her head. “This is all I can do right now, tell you I love you. Please don’t be hurt. You honor me with your proposal. I just don’t trust myself and my feelings right now. I can’t give you the answer you want. These past few months have been joyful, but also incredibly tumultuous. Emma has such a long road ahead.”
“A road we can travel together. We are together, aren’t we?”
“Yes, we are, and for that I am extremely grateful.” She reached out and folded his fingers closed, obscuring the sight of the stunning ring, with a deep-blue sapphire at its center, surrounded by tiny sparkling diamonds. “It’s the loveliest ring I have ever seen. Please know that I want to give you the answer you desire, the one my heart cries out to give, but I can’t, not today, not now. Not with the uncertainty of what’s ahead.”
Ben stood, pocketed the ring, and sat beside her. “Of course. I should never have asked. It was incredibly insensitive of me.”
She reached forward to caress his strong jaw. “No, it wasn’t, my darling. It was a loving gesture, and I’m deeply touched. I know it’s not fair to ask you to be patient, but this is all I have to give right now, my love.”
Ben forced a smile. “Hey, come here.” His arms enveloped her, her face buried in the curve of his neck.
“Please don’t be angry.”
“Never. At least you didn’t say no. That gives a guy hope, right?”
She cupped his chin with both hands and stretched up to kiss him. “Absolutely, and I promise, when this is all over, if you still want me, I will give you an answer from an unfettered heart.”
“I’m holding you to that, Maggie Williams.”
He drew her close, and Maggie felt his heart beating, his body tense. Her arm circled his waist. She was grateful for his warmth and strength. His body scre
amed anger and disappointment, but here he stayed, holding her. She closed her eyes and slept.
It was almost six when the door opened and Dr. Heavers and Rose stepped in. Maggie was still asleep. Ben nudged her gently. “Darling, wake up. It’s over.”
Maggie sat up with a start, terror in her gaze as she spied both doctors. As realization dawned, she smoothed her shirt and grabbed Ben’s hand.
Dr. Heavers waited as she composed herself, a kind smile warming his eyes. “How you holding up, Mom?”
“It’s been a long day.”
“Yes, always hardest on the parents, I fear.”
Nearly jumping out of his skin with the small talk, Ben said, “How is she?”
Countenance weary, eyes bright, Heavers gave them a long look before replying. “She came through surgery really well, and we were able to repair the damage to her spine. It was not as extensive as we anticipated, which is good. Her prognosis is excellent.”
Maggie studied the doctor’s eyes, sensing there was something he was not saying. She stood up. “I want to see her.”
Realization dawned in Ben’s eyes. “What aren’t you telling us?”
“With surgeries of this length, there is sometimes a slower recovery. For the first few days, especially. Emma has had some fluid build up in her brain and along the spine.”
Maggie paced, eyes wild with fright. “I want to see her. Take us to her right now!”
“She’s not awake, my dear. We’ve induced a coma to allow her body to recover and to allow the fluid time to drain. This is the safest course with children of Emma’s age.”
Ben grasped Maggie’s hand and drew her into his lap. “Coma or not, we want to see her.”
“I’d like to get her settled in the ICU. Then Rose will come and get you. I promise it will only be an hour or two.”
Rose stepped forward, stooped, and grasped Maggie’s hand. “She’s sleeping peacefully. She’s comfortable and not in any pain.”
Maggie shook her head.
Voice soft, almost a whisper, Rose asked, “Can I get you something?”
“Maybe a cup of tea?” he said. “If it’s not too much trouble?”
“Of course. Be right back.”
Rose disappeared, and Dr. Heavers took a seat in a plastic chair beside the sofa. “I know this sounds like a setback, folks, but it’s very common in cases like Emma’s, especially since she hasn’t used her legs in several years. The coma allows her to rest and allows the spine to heal. Unless you have questions, I’d like to go back up and check on her now. ”
Maggie shook her head and Ben replied, “No, but please let us know the moment we can see her. We both plan to spend tonight with her, and Maggie will stay as long as Emma’s here.”
“Of course. I believe there is a cot already in the room, and I’ll ask for a recliner to be brought in as well. Rose will be back very soon.”
With those words, he stood. “You may not see me again today. After I check in on Emma, I’ll go to one of the on-call rooms to sleep. I’m not much use to anyone if I don’t. They know to call me if anything arises during the night. Here’s my card with my cell number. If you need to reach me, do not hesitate.”
Later, as they sipped cups of chamomile tea, Maggie’s phone buzzed. When she looked up, she smiled. “We can go up now.”
* * *
Chapter 52
Emma’s tiny face was barely visible with all the tubes and machinery that surrounded her. Two chairs had been placed to the left of the bed and Maggie sat in one, reaching to take her daughter’s tiny hand in hers. “I’m here, baby. Your daddy and I are here, and we love you very much.”
Watching Maggie and hearing her say “Daddy” in reference to him brought tears to Ben’s eyes. He sat and reached to cover their hands with his own. “That’s right, brave girl. We’re right beside you. We love you, sweetheart.”
Except for a trip to the ladies’ room, Maggie did not leave Emma’s side all night. Before she went home, Sadie brought them soup and sandwiches. Ben persuaded Maggie to eat a few bites of sandwich and take a few sips of the warm soup. Rose stopped in at 10 p.m. to say that she, too, would be staying in one of the on-call rooms. She left her card with her cell number circled and urged them to call if they needed her.
Maggie fell asleep holding Emma’s hand, Ben’s arm around her. He woke with a start when a nurse came to check on Emma, but Maggie slept on. Stiff and exhausted, he stood and kissed Emma’s forehead, then the top of Maggie’s head, before going in search of the men’s room.
When he returned a short time later with muffins and coffee purchased from a cart in the hallway, Maggie was awake, resting alongside Emma’s bed. She gazed at him sleepily. “Will you stay with her while I go to the ladies room?”
Ben folded her in his arms, kissing her gently. “Of course, sweetheart. How you holding up?”
“I just want her back.”
“Me, too. She’ll be with us soon enough.”
Just after 8 a.m., Dr. Heavers and Rose came in. They spent several minutes checking Emma’s charts. Then Dr. Heavers turned to them. “She’s comfortable. I’d like to keep her sleeping one more day so the spine has a chance to settle.”
Maggie face fell and tears rimmed her eyes. “If that’s what’s best for her, of course.”
Ben and Maggie took turns throughout the day, sitting by Emma, holding her hand, while the other rested. When Rose came that evening, she explained that the medications inducing the coma would be slowly withdrawn in the morning, and the team expected Emma to be awake by noon. Once again, they slept at her bedside, Ben’s arms enfolding Maggie as she held the tiny hand.
The next day, as noon passed and Emma slept on, Maggie grew frantic. Rose and Dr. Heavers assured her that it sometimes took a little longer for children to awaken. Ned had now joined them and made frequent trips to the cafeteria for food that no one touched. He brought fresh clothes for Maggie, and Ruthie brought a bag for Ben. The elder Morgans stopped by, but only long enough to embrace their son and Maggie and tell them to call if there was anything they could do.
As the afternoon stretched toward evening, Maggie finally broke down into uncontrollable sobbing. Watching his beloved, Ben, who was not in much better shape himself, went for a nurse and requested the sedative Dr. Heavers had prescribed in case Maggie needed it. He then ordered her to take the pill and lie down on the recliner near the window. Miraculously, she acquiesced and was asleep five minutes later. Ben watched as her beautiful face relaxed in slumber, and he breathed a sigh of relief.
He assumed Maggie’s place at Emma’s bedside and took the tiny hand in his. Gently he rubbed her arms, careful to keep them immobile under the tight strapping. “Hey, Peanut,” he whispered, eyeing Maggie as he spoke. “You are the bravest girl I’ve ever known, and your mom and I are so proud of you. The day I found out I was your dad was the happiest day of my life. I love you and your mom more than anything in the world. We can’t wait to have you home, my sweet, precious daughter.”
Suddenly he felt pressure on his fingers. When he looked up, her eyes were open, and she was gazing steadily at him. She gave him a wan smile and whispered, “Hi, Daddy.”
Her voice was hoarse from the breathing tube they had removed a few hours earlier, but he had heard her say “Daddy.” In her groggy state, his darling girl had revealed how much she wished it were true.
“Oh, sweetheart.” He leaned forward to kiss her forehead, tears streaming down his face. “Hey, baby girl, you’re back. Don’t try to move. They want you to stay really, really still for a few days to let your back feel better. That’s why they have these.” He pointed to the straps. “Do you understand?”
She nodded, whispering, “Where’s Mommy?”
“She’s been holding your hand for two days, and she needed a nap. Let’s wake her up, okay? ”
Ben bent over the recliner and kissed Maggie’s forehead. “Hey, darling, wake up. There’s someone who wants to see you.”
Star
tled eyes searched his. Then she looked toward the bed and spied Emma. “Oh, my baby!”
As Maggie stooped to kiss their tiny daughter, Ben went to find a nurse.
* * *
Chapter 53
For the next week, Maggie stayed with Emma as she recovered and began physical therapy. To their relief, her arms and upper body were stronger and more vital than ever. Dr. Heavers was optimistic about her legs and pleased with her progress. She now had slight sensation in both legs and was able to move them a little from side to side. “She’s going to be very weak for a while,” he told them. “Her legs show some atrophy after two years of immobility. We’ll need to build her up slowly.”
As one week stretched into two, they made the decision to move Emma to a rehab facility on the east end of Tucson. Ben and Maggie took turns staying with her. They were both exhausted, and Emma was cranky and begging to go home. One afternoon, Ned Williams came upon mother and daughter in a battle of wills in a therapy room.
“No, Mommy, it hurts! I’m not doing it. I want to go home. I hate it here.”
Jane, one of Emma’s regular physical therapists, stood next to her, coaxing and cajoling. A large woman in her midthirties, Jane had long straight black hair, and she wore stretch jeans, a pink floral top, and shiny black patent leather clogs.
“Come on, honey. Just a few more minutes. Wanta switch to the bars?”
Emma ignored Jane and scowled at her mother. “No! Take me home, Mommy.”
“Baby, you have to stay, to get better, to get your legs stronger.”
The three had not yet spied him as Ned watched his daughter from the back of the room. Maggie grew more gaunt and tired with each passing week, and dark circles ringed her eyes. Ned scratched his chin. Clearly this cannot go on.
“No, no, no! I want Ben! I want Ben!”
“Ben’s working, sweetie. He’ll be in tonight.”
“I want him now!”
“Well, he cannot come now, Em,”
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