He had closed his eyes, just like he was doing now, and the music would come. It would flow through his body, making itself known through the dance of his fingers and the crystal clarity of his beautiful voice. She had known then that he was going to be a big star and had told him so. He had laughed, embarrassed, and said he only wanted to write the music, not perform it.
She had forgotten that about him. In many ways, he was still the shy, quiet boy who preferred the shadows to the spotlight; a quiet room to a sold-out arena.
Music was in his soul—there was no doubt about that—but performing was not. Johnny wasn’t like Rex. He didn’t crave being the center of attention; wasn’t comfortable with the constant adoration, the parties, or the hype.
He sure as hell didn’t need the money. Having grown up with nothing, Johnny had invested wisely. He never had to work another day in his life if he didn’t want to.
Alice stilled. “Why do you do it?” she asked suddenly.
“Do what?”
“Why do you keep performing?”
He didn’t open his eyes, but he smiled. “Because music is the love of my life, Alice. I’ll do whatever it takes.” Then he did open his eyes and look directly into hers. “That’s what you do when you really love something. You take a chance. You put yourself out there, even if it scares the shit out of you. If you fail, you fail. You get up and try again or move on. But at least you know you gave it your best shot.” With that, Johnny leaned back and closed his eyes again.
The pilot turned on the “fasten seatbelts” sign and announced their descent.
Alice’s thoughts were whirring so quickly that she barely noticed when they disembarked and made their way through the terminal. They were almost to the limo when she slowed her steps then stopped completely.
“Alice? Are you coming?” Johnny had stopped, too, and was looking back at her.
“No,” she said softly. Then louder, “No.”
Johnny stared at her for a moment. Then his grin grew. His long legs ate up the distance between them, and he enveloped her in a fierce hug. “Go get ’em, baby. And by the way ... you’re fired.”
Chapter Twenty
He felt so ... normal, sitting at the small table with his daughter, having breakfast, just the two of them. No half naked women or passed out dudes to be seen. No bottles littering the floor, no apparent damage to the walls or furniture, no stench of booze, smoke, or unwashed humans.
It wasn’t horrible.
Last night, he and Carly had made some real progress. They had shared a nice dinner—sadly, no gazelle—and binge-watched some B-movie cult classics. They still had a long way to go, but they had taken the first steps to connecting with each other.
“So, when do we have to be downstairs for you to get your award?” Rex dumped a plate of sausages over the triple stack of buttermilk pancakes, and then smothered it all in syrup. If he was expected to be up and moving before noon, he was going to need a lot of energy.
“The closing ceremonies start at one, but I haven’t won yet, Dad.”
“You will.”
“And you know this because ...?”
“Because you’re my daughter.”
That got a small chuckle, though her eyes still held worry.
“But, what if I don’t?”
He couldn’t imagine anyone as smart and stubborn as Carly not winning, but he didn’t know much about these kinds of things. Concerts, he understood. Intellectual assemblies based on science? Not so much.
“Then we’ll get them next year.”
Her brief smile faded as quickly as it had come. She turned her attention back to her still full plate and toyed with her own short stack, swirling the same bite-sized piece around in a puddle of syrup, but never lifting it to her lips.
He might not be very good at this dad stuff yet, but he recognized the behavior. Alice used to do the same thing—play with her food when she was worried about something.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
Alice used to do that, too—tell him nothing was wrong when something very clearly was. It drove him and his lion nuts. Maybe if he had paid more attention or taken those tells more seriously, things would have turned out differently.
“Listen, Carly, I’m not really good at this, so you’re going to have to come right out and tell me what’s bothering you for me to get it.”
She was quiet for so long he didn’t think she was going to answer, but then she echoed the ache in his own heart. “I wish Alice was here.”
The words were spoken so quietly he doubted he would have heard them without his acute hearing. Her head was still bowed over her plate, but he could see her peeking at him through her unruly bangs, trying to gauge his reaction.
He finished chewing then sat back, raising the coffee mug to his lips to buy some time.
“Me, too,” he finally said. Hey, they were being honest, right?
“Why did you make her leave?”
“I didn’t make her leave.”
“Then, why did she?”
That was the question, wasn’t it? He had a few ideas, but he didn’t know. Only Alice could answer that, and once again, she wasn’t answering any of his texts.
“Didn’t she talk to you before she left?”
“Yeah. She said it was complicated.”
Rex snorted. That was such an Alice thing to say, conveying so much and so little at the same time.
“But I don’t think it’s complicated at all,” Carly added.
“You don’t?”
“No, it’s simple really.”
Nothing about Alice was simple, but he humored her. “All right then. Why do you think Alice left?”
“Because she loves you, and you act like you don’t care about her at all.”
Rex grunted, having come to a similar conclusion after a sleepless night, a bottle of Jack, and a long talk with Chuck, who had held nothing back and straight-up told him he was an idiot of the highest order. Rex might have been pissed if he didn’t wholeheartedly agree.
Nothing else made sense.
“You couldn’t have told me this a couple months ago?”
“You wouldn’t have listened,” Carly said matter-of-factly. Hadn’t Styxx said exactly the same thing? “Just like you wouldn’t listen when I tried to talk to you about my paper or the awards.”
If he looked down, he was sure he would have seen the hilt of the knife currently twisting in his chest, because that’s exactly what her words felt like—a blade right between the ribs.
“You’re right. I fucked up. But I’m here now. That’s got to count for something, right?”
This time, her smile was genuine. “Yeah, Dad, it definitely counts. But, what are we going to do about Alice? You do care for her, don’t you?”
Yeah, he did. He always had, he realized, though he had never been able to admit it to himself, and never to Alice. After that kiss yesterday, though, he couldn’t hide behind a wall of denial, not anymore.
“I don’t know what to do.” He exhaled heavily and pushed the plate away.
“You could try telling her the truth.”
Rex still wasn’t sure what the truth was. He had finally accepted that his lion wanted Alice and only Alice, but for how long? He was a male lion in his prime after all and, generally speaking, male alpha lions in their prime didn’t restrict themselves to one mate.
But you are more evolved than your beast, his human part reminded him. And your feelings for Alice go far beyond fucking rights.
If he was looking to his leonine nature as a way to rationalize his reticence, then he had to consider the reverse as well. The lack of exclusivity between lion pairings worked both ways. Females usually gave priority to the male alpha, but if the alpha wasn’t interested, the female turned to other males. In his recent search for truth, Rex had to acknowledge that Alice had done exactly that. He wasn’t giving Alice what she needed, so she sought it elsewhere in that fucking panther.
“It migh
t be too late.”
Carly cocked her head. “Why? Because she’s with Johnny?”
A growl rumbled through his chest, the thought of Alice with any other male unleashing a wave of possessive fury he fought to control.
His voice was rough, more beast than man when he admitted through clenched teeth, “Yes.”
To his great surprise, Carly laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” That was the second time this morning she had said that word, and once again, it was total bullshit. But unlike last time, her eyes were twinkling with secret knowledge.
Rex narrowed his eyes. “What are you not telling me?”
Carly pushed away from the table and stood, placing her napkin beside her now empty plate. “It’s not too late, Dad, but it will be if you don’t do something soon. I’ve got to start getting ready for the ceremony. Did you bring any of that really good conditioner with you?”
“Wait. What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he called after her as she walked away, but the only response he received was the soft closing of her bedroom door.
Chapter Twenty-One
Self-doubt was a bitch.
Alice had no idea if she was doing the right thing, but she had to do something. She was done waiting in the wings for Rex to figure things out for himself. Brilliant, talented musician he might be, but the male was clueless when it came to seeing what was right in front of his beautiful face. Namely, her.
It was the perfect time to assume control of the situation and do what she should have done a long time ago. Now that the truth was out there, there was no reason not to. Rex knew what she was, and he had to have felt that connection flare up between them, especially considering he had been affected enough to bolt. Though, whether that was a good or a bad thing remained to be seen.
Nearly twenty-four hours had passed since then, so hopefully, Rex had worked through his initial shock and was ready to discuss things rationally. All that remained was for her to put herself out there and see what happened. Either Rex would accept the truth, or he wouldn’t. Either way, this living in limbo ended today.
Alice tapped the armrest with impatient fingers, willing the plane to fly faster. Thunderstorms over the southeastern region of the US had delayed her departure from Atlanta several times, but she was finally on her way back to Phoenix. With luck and a bit of help from Mother Nature, she would be able to make it to the resort in time to see the science portion of the awards. Then she would deal with Rex.
She knew from Carly’s texts that Rex had decided to stick around for the ceremonies, which was a positive sign. The fact that he was willing to put his daughter first was a huge step in the right direction.
There had been a number of texts from Rex, too, which gave her hope that he might be open to making another big step. She hadn’t looked at or answered any of them, wanting to hear what he had to say face to face.
The flight encountered a lot of turbulence along the way. Alice hoped that wasn’t a bad omen. By the time they finally landed at PHX, the combination of nerves and nausea had dampened some of her spirit, yet she remained resolute.
A multi-vehicle accident on the interstate further complicated things, so it was late afternoon by the time the car pulled up to the resort.
She ran to the conference area, her heart falling when she saw the large space nearly empty. Only staff remained, clearing the last of the tables and taking down the STEM conference banners.
She was too late. She had missed it.
Tears welled in her eyes as she turned around and walked out. Her feet carried her toward the small arboretum where she could hide behind a large, leafy bush and have herself a good little cry without attracting attention.
Alice picked a lovely spot in the back corner and sank down onto a wrought iron bench. She had tried so hard to get back in time to make things right, and she had failed. The storms, the turbulence, the accident ... maybe the universe really was trying to tell her something.
She sat there for a while, embracing the sadness and sense of self-pity. A few people walked by on their way out to the garden pavilion, but thankfully, they were too preoccupied to notice her.
Maybe that was her lot in life, she thought miserably. To remain in the shadows, a quiet, supportive presence to those who really mattered. People like Rex and Carly and Johnny, who would go on and be fine, with or without her.
Alice shook off that depressing thought. That wasn’t fair, not to her or them. She mattered, dammit. Maybe not in all the ways she wished, but she did, and would continue to do so. Where she went from here was up to her, and if there was one thing she excelled at, it was finding a way to make things happen, even when the odds were stacked against her.
She started making a mental list. First, she had to apologize to Carly for missing the ceremonies. Then she needed to check in with Johnny and see how things were going with his charity benefit. He had said she was fired, but she didn’t believe that for a minute. It was a woefully pathetic but incredibly sweet gesture to make her feel less guilty about leaving him. Even if things did end up working out with Rex, she wasn’t going to abandon Johnny mid-tour. If necessary, she could make adjustments from anywhere with internet or satellite service until she could find and personally train a suitable replacement.
And finally, she needed to talk to Rex. Where they went next would depend on him, but she already knew where she wanted to go.
She was just about to open a text to Carly when she heard it—the strum of an acoustic guitar. The chords were just barely audible over the soft cascade of the waterfall. Familiar chords. An accompanying harmony to a haunting melody.
It couldn’t be, could it? Yet, she knew with every fiber of her being that it was.
Rex and Carly were still here. And he was playing her song.
Alice rose from the bench and crossed the atrium, her feet carrying her out into the gardens. There, she joined the stream of others drawn by the beautiful music.
A voice joined the notes, at first soft and low, singing the words she knew by heart. Lyrics that spoke of finding the one who was everything yet had no idea. Rex had written the song years ago. It was one of her absolute favorites because it embodied everything she felt. He had somehow captured the longing, the ache, the desire she had struggled with every day since she had first met Rex Løve.
Apparently, she wasn’t alone.
The power ballad had rocketed to number one and had stayed there for months, something unheard of in the fast-changing, mercurial music industry. “She Doesn’t Know” had cemented Rex Løve into the hearts and minds of millions.
Alice followed the throng to a gazebo around which a small crowd had gathered and was growing larger by the minute. Rex was perched on a bench, Carly sitting proudly beside him as he sang.
Just as enthralled as everyone else, Alice closed her eyes and listened until the last notes faded away. No one said anything for several seconds. Then the crowd erupted into applause.
“Where do you get your inspiration?” someone called out when the noise died down.
“Life.” Rex laughed softly.
“Did you have someone specific in mind when you wrote that one, Rex?” another voice piped up.
He grinned. “Yes.”
“Who is she?”
Alice lowered her gaze to the ground and braced herself for his answer. She had always suspected he had written the song about someone special to him; the words and the music held too many feels not to. That didn’t mean she wanted to see the look on his face when he talked about another woman, and definitely not about her song.
“Someone smart and strong and capable. Someone who spends her life caring for others who don’t deserve her. Someone who is so beautiful, and yet has no idea ...”
A hush went over the crowd. Then the hairs on the back of her neck prickled uncomfortably. Alice opened her eyes to find Rex’s gaze locked on her. Beside him, Carly was grinning like a Cheshire cat.
W
hispers and murmurs of “who is she?” carried along the breeze as people twisted and turned to see who Rex was looking at. Alice squirmed, uncomfortable with the attention.
“Do another one, Rex!” someone shouted.
“I will, if Alice comes up here and sits beside us.”
She shook her head, but Rex grinned.
“Come on, Alice. They want to see what inspires me.”
Alice couldn’t have been more stunned if he had suddenly gone full lion and started roaring at the crowd. One minute, he was in the gazebo. The next, he was beside her, taking her hand and gently leading her forward.
She sat beside him and Carly, feeling strangely numb as people stared and took pictures with their cell phones. Then Rex started singing again, and people turned their attention back to him. He did a couple more songs then thanked everyone and wished them goodnight.
“I think you earned yourself a few more fans tonight,” she teased.
He chuckled. “Who would have thought I’d appeal to the intellectual crowd?”
“You appeal to everyone, Rex.”
“Including you?”
She stared up into his golden eyes. “Especially me.”
Carly cleared her throat. “If you two are going to make googly eyes at each other,” she said low enough so only they could hear, “you might want to do it someplace more private.”
Sure enough, people were hovering around, hoping for a chance to talk to Rex and grab a selfie or three.
“Meet you back at the room?” Alice asked as she stepped away, only to be stopped by Rex wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close.
“Not a chance,” he rumbled softly against her ear. “I’m not going to risk you taking off on me again.”
The sensation of pressing against Rex made her weak in the knees. Thankfully, he had a good hold on her.
Rex was cordial and patient, signing practically everything that was thrust at him, taking pictures, talking music to young and old alike. It was much later when they finally made their way back up to the suite.
“So ...?” Alice asked Carly as Rex ordered them a late dinner. “What happened? Tell me everything.”
Rock Hard: BAD Alpha Dads Page 11
