Whatever contributed to the alchemy didn’t matter. They both moved at the same time, leaning towards each other so that their faces touched. Emma could feel Jack’s nose pressed against her own, his forehead against hers, his lips soft against her cheek. Like a well-remembered slow dance, they both moved again. Their lips brushed gently—once, twice and then again—but this time they settled together and a whole new dance began.
Emma had never fully appreciated that such intense communication could be as subtle as the variations in pressure of lips against lips. Of the briefest touch of a tongue.
This was history repeating itself, too, because she would never forget the first time Jack had kissed her. It had been the first time they’d met properly—at Ben and Sarah’s wedding, where she’d been the bridesmaid and Jack had been the best man. Sarah had warned her not to go near Jack and end up being one of his legendary list of broken hearts. Apparently Ben had issued a stern warning to Jack to stay away from her as well but the attraction had been instant and probably all the more attractive for being illicit. Emma had gone into the garden of the old house where the reception was being held for some fresh air. If she was honest, she’d gone looking for a private space, hoping that Jack would follow her. He had. And there, under the moonlight, with the scent of old-fashioned roses around them, he’d kissed her.
And it had been this delicious. That first time and every time after that.
But this was different.
They had a shared history now that went far beyond a physical connection neither of them had been able to resist. It was a history of heartbreak and grief and forgiveness. So this kiss felt both familiar and old but it also felt completely new.
They were different people.
But that physical connection hadn’t changed a bit.
* * *
He had to stop this kiss.
It was making him remember things that were probably best not remembered. The sweetness of being with Emma.
How hard it would have been to move on even though he’d known it had to happen. At least the accident and its terrible aftermath had ended things in a way that hadn’t left her feeling that she was merely being brushed aside so that he could move on to something new. Someone else—the way he always did.
He’d known it wouldn’t be that easy that time.
And there hadn’t been anyone else. Not since Emma.
He hadn’t even kissed another woman, but if he had, Jack knew it wouldn’t have been anything like this.
It was so much more than just a kiss. It felt like her whole body was talking to him. Saying sweet things about how special he was. About how much she cared.
And this was the closest he had ever been able to get to saying things like that to her. A physical conversation that was over as soon as the touching stopped and didn’t need to be mentioned again.
Except he’d said it out loud, hadn’t he? That he had missed her. That he cared...
With a sound a little too close to a groan, Jack broke the contact of his mouth with Emma’s and pulled away.
His head was spinning. With memories of what it had always been like to be with Emma. With a fierce desire to go further and take them both into that space where nothing mattered but the intense pleasure of a physical conversation that would leave them both completely sated.
But there was confusion in the whirling thoughts as well. He’d said too much and even though it was true, it might make Emma hope for something that was totally impossible—like a declaration of love or a promise of commitment.
An echo of Emma’s voice appeared through the fog being created in his brain. ‘But isn’t that what everyone wants? Family...and love?’
Had he agreed with that? He couldn’t remember a lot of what he’d said only minutes ago but he had the feeling he’d told her things about his childhood that he never told anybody. Things he did his best to not even remember himself.
It must be his head injury. Concussion could do strange things.
Jack tilted his head back against the bookshelf and closed his eyes. Screwed them tightly shut, in fact, making a determined effort to clear his head. Emma was sitting very quietly beside him but he couldn’t look at her. He didn’t want to make eye contact and see the effect that kiss might have had. He didn’t want to look at her lips because that would only make him want to kiss her again.
‘Are you all right?’ Emma’s question was quiet. Concerned. ‘What’s hurting?’
‘Bit of a headache,’ Jack admitted.
‘I’ll get you something for that. You’re not feeling sick, are you?’
‘No.’
‘How’s your leg? And your ribs?’
‘I’ll live.’ Jack opened his eyes and summoned a smile.
Emma smiled back but there was a shadow in her eyes and, again, he heard an echo of her voice.
‘You can’t shut yourself away from caring about anybody, Jack. That’s not living...’
He did care. He cared about Emma and obviously cared about Lily or he wouldn’t be here. He wouldn’t have that Christmas gift in his rucksack.
He just didn’t care enough...that was the problem.
He couldn’t...
‘I’d better go and see what’s happening,’ Emma said. ‘I have no idea how long we’ve been sitting here.’
Jack had no idea, either. That kiss could have been only seconds but it felt like it could have been forever.
Emma started to get up but then sat down again with a groan. ‘I don’t remember the last time I was this tired.’
‘You’ve been working for far too long. You have to get some rest.’
‘I’ll get a couple of hours’ sleep when I get home. You must be just as tired. You haven’t had any real rest in here and you’ve got your injuries making things worse. You need sleep even more than I do.’
‘I’ll find somewhere to go.’
‘You already have somewhere to go.’ This time Emma got to her feet. She was staring down at Jack and she was frowning as if she was puzzled. ‘You’re coming home with me. You have a gift to deliver, remember? That’s why you came back.’
The thought that he had anything like a home to go to was comforting enough to bring a lump to Jack’s throat. But it was disturbing, too. Heading towards comfort like that was taking a big step towards something he didn’t want. Something that he would miss when it was lost again because he would know it was still there.
Like he had missed Emma.
It would be so much easier to stay away.
‘I could give you the present,’ he heard himself saying. ‘And you could give it to Lily for me.’
Emma shook her head. ‘It’s your gift, Jack. You have to give it to her yourself. Besides, I have an hour’s drive to get home and I need someone to make sure I stay awake. You’re getting that job whether you like it or not.’
There was something adorable about someone as kind and gentle as Emma being bossy. A little bit of fire showing, to match that glorious hair of hers.
Maybe it was easier to just go with the flow. Already, Jack could feel some of the spinning in his head beginning to slow down. It was a sensible choice, anyway. Someone with any kind of head injury would be ill-advised to shut themselves away in a hotel room and just go to sleep.
And Emma had made it about herself rather than him. She needed him to keep her safe.
He could do that. He owed her a great deal more than that, in fact.
So he nodded. Slowly, because it made the throbbing in his head instantly worse.
Emma looked at her watch. ‘It’s nearly five a.m. The day shift is coming in early so they’ll be here very soon. Let’s go and get something for that headache of yours and I’ll catch up on what’s been happening. I want to look in on Mel before I go. And Stuart.’
It was an effort to get to his feet and painful to stand once he made it but Jack wasn’t about to let his discomfort show. Emma was exhausted enough to make the freckles on her nose stand out against her pale skin and she had dark circles under her eyes but she wasn’t about to use that as an excuse not to take the time to care for others. She wasn’t even thinking about herself.
She was an extraordinarily good person and Jack had nothing but admiration for her attitude. It shouldn’t make him want to kiss her again, but it did.
Instead, he reached out and smoothed a wayward curl back from her face.
Emma pushed the curl under a clip. Then she unsuccessfully tried to smooth the crumples in her scrubs tunic. ‘I look wrecked, don’t I?’
‘You look tired,’ Jack agreed. ‘But not wrecked.’ He smiled at her. ‘I think you look like a hardworking professional. A very cute hardworking professional.’
Emma snorted. But she straightened her back and smiled. ‘Come on. Let’s see what we can do about escaping.’
* * *
Closing the door of the office behind them closed the door on everything that had gone on in there but Emma wasn’t about to forget a moment of it.
She could put it to one side as she melted back into a work space that was now quiet enough to have staff members dozing in front of computer screens and any remaining patients asleep on their beds. A quick call to the coronary care unit reassured her that Stuart was doing well and sleeping peacefully.
A call to the intensive care unit gave her just as much pleasure.
‘They’ve just woken Mel up,’ she told Jack. ‘She recognised her family and she’s talking. It looks like she might have escaped any brain damage.’
‘That’s wonderful. You did a good job.’
‘We did a good job.’
Emma basked in the glow of the shared accomplishment and let her thoughts drift back to that time in the office as she led Jack to the drug cupboard to find what was needed for his headache.
She felt closer to him than ever before but not just because of that bone-melting kiss.
He’d told her things that explained so much about him.
Just a few words but they had said so much.
Not enough, mind you. It was a puzzle why the brothers had been so different. Ben had gone through the same childhood trauma of losing his mother and being separated from his twin but he’d moved forward in the opposite direction. Instead of shying away from the things that had caused such grief, he’d set about re-creating them. Finding someone to love and share his life with. Starting a family. Making a big deal about celebrating Christmas.
Surely that meant that Jack was capable of doing the same thing? Part of him was trapped, wasn’t it? There was a small boy inside that man who was still afraid and Emma still felt an overwhelming urge to find that child and cuddle him. To make sure he felt loved so that he could find peace and set the man that Jack now was free to embrace life and find true happiness.
But how could you reach back through time and make contact?
How could anyone repair the kind of damage that made people too afraid to love?
Maybe it wasn’t possible but at least she had a place to start from.
Jack cared about her.
He’d missed her.
And he’d come back.
Even better, he’d agreed to come home with her. He would meet Lily and her mother and be surrounded by family on Christmas Day.
It might be the first time he’d had that since he was that small boy. As Emma put the painkillers into Jack’s hand a few minutes later, she glanced up and let her gaze touch his gently. Maybe he would see some of the hope she was feeling suddenly. This could be a kind of time travel, couldn’t it?
It was certainly the closest thing possible.
And she had a special kind of magic that might just make the difference. Emma’s lips curled into a secret smile as she felt the squeeze in her heart that was an echo of the pure love and joy that she knew would be there for them both.
Because Lily was there.
CHAPTER SEVEN
‘WHAT’S SO FUNNY?’
The broad smile on Jack’s face was as close to a grin as Emma had seen since...well, since before the night that had changed their lives forever.
That he could still smile like that surrounded her in a bubble of happiness but the fact that his face had lit up like that as she walked out of the locker room was a bit disturbing.
Had he forgotten how wild her hair was when she released it from that tight ponytail and those uncomfortable pins? The halo cloud of bright auburn spiral curls that brushed her shoulders always made people turn for a second glance and often made them smile. Emma had long ago given up letting it bother her.
Clown hair.
Ginger Ninja hair.
Red...
That fancy up-do she’d had at Sarah’s wedding had unravelled, thanks to Jack burying his hands in it when he’d kissed her that very first time. And it had made him smile then, too.
‘I love your hair. It’s so you.’
‘It’s so red, you mean.’
And the very private nickname had been chosen. A name that could only be used by one person in the world. A name that gave Emma a very particular tingle when she heard it. She’d never expected to ever hear it again but she’d heard it tonight.
‘I’m sorry, Red.’
Apparently it wasn’t her hair that had tickled Jack’s funny bone this time, however.
‘You’re wearing a Christmas sweater,’ he said. ‘It makes you look like a kid.’
‘Lily chose it for me.’ Emma lifted her chin. ‘I like it.’
Jack was trying to straighten his lips. ‘Matches your hair.’
It was bright red. With a very happy red-nosed reindeer on the front and fluffy white blobs that were supposed to be snowflakes dotted over the rest of the garment.
‘You’re wearing something a bit odd yourself, you know.’
He still had the jeans and T-shirt that he’d found to replace his hospital gown but he had cut the damaged sleeves from the leather jacket and was now wearing it as a sleeveless kind of vest with ragged armholes.
‘Yeah...’ Jack shrugged. ‘But it seemed like a good idea. I don’t imagine it’s T-shirt weather out there and...I forgot to buy a Christmas sweater.’
Emma laughed. ‘The day I see you wearing a Christmas sweater, Jack Reynolds, is the day I will expect the world, as we know it, to end.’
‘Hey...’ There was a shadow in his eyes, as if he felt that he’d disappointed her. ‘Baby steps, okay?’
Emma’s laughter died as she remembered the surprise of seeing a Christmas gift in Jack’s rucksack. The smile left behind felt soft. Tender. He was trying to change and even the tiniest steps were actually huge.
‘Baby steps are fine. Are you okay to walk out to the car? You don’t need crutches or anything?’
‘I’m good. Pete did a great job on a new compression bandage for me.’
‘And your arm’s all right? Is that headache under control?’ Emma could feel herself frowning. ‘Is anything bothering you too much?’
Jack’s mouth twisted into a lopsided smile.
Silly question. Physical pain was probably the least of Jack’s worries right now. He was being forced to face one of his demons here, wasn’t he?
A family Christmas...
Best they got going, before he had time to come up with an answer to that thoughtless question.
* * *
Sunrise was still hours away and it felt like the middle of the night as Emma drove out of the hospital car park and took an onramp to the motorway.
The chill that had settled into Jack’s bones on his somewhat slow, limping walk to her vehicle was finally
ebbing as the heater in her car gathered strength. The car had been a surprise. The roomy SUV was a far cry from the tiny bright green bubble car she’d been driving before he’d left town. He’d barely managed to fold his legs into the space in front of the passenger’s seat back then. Now he had enough room to elevate his injured leg on his rucksack.
‘Do you miss the frog?’
Emma shook her head. ‘It was a fun car for a single girl. Not an option when you need baby seats. Plus, I like having more safety features, especially for rural driving at night.’
She sounded so grown up. So like a parent.
‘Just how rural are we going? Where do you live now?’
‘Achadunan.’
The name hung in the air around them. It seemed to thicken it so that it was harder to take a breath.
Achadunan was a small village off the top of Loch Lomond.
And it was the place that Ben and Sarah had been buried. Together. Because it had been Sarah’s home and he hadn’t been able to think of anywhere more appropriate for his brother to rest. Truth be told, he hadn’t been able to think about anything coherently during those dreadful days.
He hadn’t expected to be heading there now.
Emma must have sensed his shock, and the reason for it.
‘I had to move out there,’ she said quietly. ‘Maybe I’ll move closer in again one day. I wouldn’t want Lily to have to do the long bus trips to school every day that Sarah and I had to do. But I couldn’t ask Mum to come and live in the city with me. She’s lived in Achadunan since the day she was born. And I couldn’t have taken Lily without her blessing—and her help.’
Jack nodded. ‘I remember your speech at the wedding. You said that you and Sarah had grown up in the same village. That you’d been sisters from other mothers since you were born, pretty much.’
‘Our mothers were best friends, too. We did everything together, especially after my dad died. It was like we were one family. That’s why she was so happy to take Lily in. She was Sarah’s baby. Joan’s grandbaby. Part of our family already.’
Their First Family Christmas Page 9
