by Riker, Becky
“I’d love to.”
Naomi shook her head to clear the memory, “The scars.”
He scowled down at her, “What?”
“Your father beat you, and you have scars on your back.”
He didn’t answer but sat at the dressing table and began rearranging her various bottles.
She watched the mindless action, “It was not the only time.”
He shook his head.
Naomi went to sit on his knee and stilled his hands with her own hands.
Finn wrapped his arms around her, “I think it was the only time he used a horsewhip, though.”
Naomi felt bile rising in her throat.
He must have felt her shock because he apologized.
“You did not need to know that,” he ran his fingers through her loose curls.
“Why?” she pulled back to look at his face.
His laugh was harsh, “Trying to decide if I deserved it?”
“No human deserves that, Finn,” she frowned at his words.
“I had let his horse out of the pen,” he admitted. “The whip was the closest thing.”
“I’m sorry,” she rose from her position. “I am sorry you had to go through that, that you had no defender in your mother, and that you doubt your ability to be a parent because you had only bad examples, but you can learn from their mistakes.”
“My grandfather beat my father and had numerous affairs. My father was a habitual gambler.”
“But you do not drink like your mother, and you are not a gambler like your father.”
“Rowan is,” he stood up and paced away from her again.
“That is his decision, Finn. Claiming your childhood as an excuse for your actions is a cowardly way out of acting responsibly.”
He did not look back at her but folded his arms across his chest.
“Finn,” she spoke sharply, “you are not that man.”
He turned toward her, “How do you know? Perhaps I will become that man. Perhaps, in another thirty years, you will be the one languishing in a drunken stupor because you cannot bear the reality of your life with me.”
“Finn, please do not speak so,” she could not raise her voice above a whisper.
He pressed a kiss to her forehead and ran from the room.
Naomi did not take the time to put on her clothing. She threw on her dressing gown and raced after him. He was headed for his mother’s rooms.
As much as she worried about Diana’s safety, she was more concerned about her marriage. She ran back to her room and rang for Missy.
Naomi was half-dressed by the time her maid arrived.
“I just need you to lace me up,” she brushed through her hair as she spoke.
“Shall I not do something with your hair?”
Naomi shook her head, “Later.”
By the time she got to Diana’s rooms, Finn had already left.
“He said he just wanted to see for himself that the missus was okay.”
Naomi nodded, “And how is she?”
“Sleeping peacefully,” Liz’s voice held a note of wonder. “I think maybe she has come through the worst of it.”
Naomi smiled briefly, “Let us pray she has. I am afraid I cannot stay with her today.”
“It is just as well, Mrs. Haydn. I slept fine last night, and will be taking meals with the missus today if that suites you.”
“It suits me fine, thank you.”
Naomi hurried to her husband’s study, knocking loudly on the door.
“Come in,” he called out.
Never had a sound been sweeter to Naomi’s ears.
“Finn,” she threw herself in his arms the instant the door closed behind her, “please do not leave. I need you here.”
He held her tightly, “I never wished to leave you. I am so empty when I am not with you.”
“Then remain here,” she was determined to keep him with her this time even if it meant begging.
He stroked her hair, “I am sorry, but I cannot. Not right now.”
She pushed away from him, “Why can you not remain?”
“I cannot say,” he tried to recapture her, but she resisted.
“Please,” her eyes were filled with tears and her voice shook, but she would try one more time, “please stay with me, Finn. I love you.”
He shook his head, “I am sorry, Naomi. I will try to explain on my return.”
She fled as soon as she heard him apologize, so she did not hear him say he would return.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
He left. There was really nothing she could say or do to get him to stay, though he had never wanted anything more in his life. He could see Naomi watching him from the second story window. Finn focused on her as the carriage pulled out until he could see her no longer.
He hoped to tell her everything when he arrived back home. Next time he would stay. He would not be drawn away by fear or by his brother’s folly. He would stay, he would hold her, and he would be the man she could be proud of.
Finn had seen a change in her since Christmas. She had been kind and pleasing before that, but there was a new gentleness in her speech toward him. She had occasionally let a harsh word escape while they were on their wedding trip. As of late, with far greater provocation, her speech had been entirely gracious.
There was also an undeniable confidence in her bearing that he had not seen earlier. Finn assumed the changes he witnessed in her were because of her new religion. What he could not discern was whether these changes would endure the test of time.
Finn reached into his pocket and withdrew the letter from his London solicitor.
Mr. Haydn,
I regret to inform you that the charges against Mr. Rowan Haydn have increased rather than diminished as we had hoped. The magistrate has decided to bring your brother’s history back to the court in attempt to exact a heavier punishment.
At present, Mr. Rowan is in debt to the amount of 4,000 pounds to Sir Garret Willoughby, 1,000 pounds to Lord Johnston, and 1,000 pounds to various individuals of questionable character.
These are debts of which my office has been made aware. There is a possibility that more will surface once the trial begins.
Your uncle has suggested you step out of the situation and preserve your own reputation. I have recommended this is the past, but I feel I should reiterate my concern for you. There is nothing you can do to save your brother from spending some time in prison. Even were you to pay his debts in their entirety, there are also the charges of fraud and theft to consider.
I will do as you wish.
Your Humble Servant,
John Perdue
Finn knew better than to believe this was going to go well, but he needed to do all he could. He had already paid off as much as possible from his own resources, but Finn was not going to sell any of his land to pay Rowan’s gambling debts.
Thankfully, George had taken control of Rowan’s estate since the younger man’s most recent arrest. It was likely to improve.
The carriage stopped in front of Perdue’s office. Finn steeled himself for what was ahead and went inside.
It took some work on Mr. Perdue’s part, but after nearly a week of waiting, Finn was finally allowed to see Rowan. The younger brother sat on a cot, head buried in his hands.
“What do you think will happen now?”
Rowan grunted.
“I cannot get you out of this.”
“Money talks,” Rowan lifted his head but did not look at his brother.
“Your accounts are empty.”
“I suppose I cannot interest you in giving me a loan.”
“I’ve little available money now, Rowan,” Finn spoke through clenched teeth. “I’ve paid off nearly 15,000 pounds of your debts already.”
“Sell your property on the island,” Rowan spat back.
“I will not,” he spoke calmly. “I paid a lot to get that back from Mrs. Shelser.”
Rowan scoffed, “You paid less than it was worth.”
&n
bsp; “And still more than her husband paid our father for it. That land has been in our family for over three hundred years – longer than Selby has been.”
“I should have that land, and you know it. Father promised it to me.”
“He had no business selling it then. It is mine now.”
“As is Selby.”
“Do not speak of that as if you received nothing. You were given the more profitable estate.”
“So this is about revenge?”
Finn nearly howled, “It is justice. I took care of what I had, and you spent and gambled.”
Rowan lay down on the cot and turned his face to the wall.
Finn knew the conference was over.
“What is your intention?” Perdue asked him as they rode back toward Finn’s townhouse.
“I do not see anything more I can do. Please continue to represent him, and send me your bill. I will not pay the debts.”
Finn could not deny the heaviness in his heart following the meeting. He and Rowan had been close while growing up. The three Haydn children had supported each other in the midst of their father’s abuse and their mother’s neglect. The separation between them was painful.
He had just seated himself in his office when a knock sounded.
“Enter.”
“Sir,” Mrs. Bloom stood in the doorway, “your uncle is here.”
Finn had thought his uncle was in Wales, but he was pleased to discover differently, “Please send him in.”
She stepped out to allow the older man in.
“George,” Finn rounded the desk and held out his hand, “How was Newport?”
“Wet,” George took a seat without waiting to be asked. “What is going on?”
Finn explained all his uncle had missed.
“This has been a heavy burden for you, Finneas. I believe you have made the right decision.”
Finn did not like the way that sounded, “I would gladly do more if I thought it would help.”
George chuckled, “I did not mean to say that you were acting on your own behalf. Rowan needs, perhaps, to spend a little time with his own consequences. I believe he will be more amenable to our suggestions in six months.”
Finn remembered the filth and damp of the cell and shuddered.
“How is Naomi?”
Finn pressed his lips into a tight smile, “Expecting.”
George’s eyebrows rose, “I would normally offer my congratulations, but it seems burdensome to you.”
“I am concerned.”
“About Naomi’s health?”
Finn nodded, “And how she will handle being a mother. It is not an easy undertaking.”
“It will be easier with you beside her.”
“I do not know if – if I,” Finn rose from his seat and began to pace the room. “How am I to be a father when I had neither mother nor father?”
“You will learn.”
“What if it is too much for Naomi and she becomes a different woman?”
“Naomi is not my sister,” George assured him.
“I assume my mother was young and lively at one time.”
George shook his head, “She was beautiful, and that was all Lucian cared about. He did not care that she was vain and wholly focused on wealth and position.”
Finn wondered why he had assumed his mother was different as a young woman.
“My own father spoiled Diana,” George admitted. “I do not think he meant to, but she was the last thing he had from my mother. By the time he realized, it was too late to correct his error. He prayed she would one day find the truth, but she has shown no signs of that, and I do not know that her mind is ever going to be well enough again to understand.”
Finn huffed, “Naomi has taken away my mother’s drink.”
George’s eyes widened.
“She said she feared my mother was drinking herself to death.”
“How has Diana managed?”
“She has suffered delusions, fevers, and fits. She also attacked her maid and my wife.”
“Is everyone safe?”
“Naomi threw a vase at her,” Finn repeated what the maid had told him. “Knocked a glass right from my mother’s hand.”
George laughed heartily at that, “I knew that woman would be good for you the first time I met her.”
Finn could not disagree.
“Scripture describes what a good wife is, and she is the picture of Naomi.”
Finn’s eyebrows shot to his hairline.
“Did you not know this?”
“I do not deny that I love her as she is, but she is fiery and bold. This is not how your wife or my sister are.”
“No, but God has not planned for us all to be the same. Your wife treats you with respect, right?”
He nodded.
“She cares for those in her household and is prudent with your money?”
Finn had to agree again.
“She is a godly woman, Finn.”
“I suppose she is.”
“But you aren’t ready to make that choice yourself?”
Finn raked his hand through his hair. He knew there was something missing in his life. He could see it when he compared himself to Nicholas or George. He could see he was missing a particular point of interest or a goal that they all shared.
“Tell me again, George.”
George smiled broadly, “It is Jesus, Finn. He’s been waiting there for you all this time.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
“I nearly forgot,” George pulled something from his chest pocket, “I was commissioned to give this to you.”
Finn recognized the handwriting, “Were you at Selby before you came here?”
“I visited Tess yesterday morning,” he rose and went to the door. “Your wife was also there, so she sent this along.”
George left Finn to read the letter in peace.
My Dear Finn,
I find it difficult to believe that, though we are often apart, I can still miss you at every hour of the day. I hope you can someday find a peace that will allow you to remain longer with me.
Please do not feel I am criticizing you. I mean only to tell you that I do love you and desire to spend my life with you.
Your mother is doing better. Per your request, I have not gone into her rooms. She has, however, come out into the house two times. The first time she made it all the way to the door of the conservatory, but the second, she only got as far as the stairs before she became frightened and turned back to her suites. I believe she will settle in eventually.
Mrs. Smythe told me last week that I was lucky to not feel any illness with the child. I believe I told her too soon that I felt well. I am now sick every morning. I am praising God, however, because Tessa told me she was sick in the afternoons and evenings as well the mornings until her time was nearly half over.
Love,
Naomi Haydn
Finn was overwhelmed. He did not deserve such a treasure, and he desired nothing more than to be with her at the moment.
“Mrs. Bloom,” he opened the door and called out loudly.
She scurried around the corner, “Is something the matter, sir?”
“I need to leave now.”
George came from the study, “Has something happened? She did not mention any emergency when I saw her.”
“No emergency,” he beamed. “I just want to see my wife.”
The housekeeper chuckled and left to call for a carriage.
“Be reasonable, Finn,” George shook his head, “what do you want to arrive there in the middle of the night for?”
“The middle of the night, George? It is only seven o’clock now. I shall be home in two hours.”
“Do as you like,” George shrugged.
Finn laughed at that, “Don’t I always?”
George did not argue that point but set his hat on his head, “I am off to see my own wife. She has been shopping all day.”
Finn was organizing his papers to determine which o
nes needed to come home with him when Mrs. Bloom knocked on the open door.
Finn glanced up at her, “Yes?”
“Sir,” she began, her face slightly pale, “there’s a gentleman at the door. He says he must see you.”
Finn rose and stepped near the lady, “Are you unwell, Mrs. Bloom?”
She shook her head, but he could see she was quite distraught.
“Perhaps some wine,” he led her to a chair and poured her a glass.
She pushed it away, “Your guest, sir.”
“I will see to my guest. You stay here.”
Finn went out to the passage way, “You wished to speak to me?”
The man turned around and Finn staggered backward.
“I can see I have surprised you,” the man carried a bundle in his arms. “You must not have gotten my letter.”
Finn took a deep breath, “I did not. Please,” he pointed toward the parlor, “come in.”
Finn did not leave until the following morning. Even then, he felt unprepared for what was to come. He had made a decision that he truly believed to be the right one, but he was not sure Naomi would agree. She had been exceedingly patient with him up until that point, but this was likely to be too much for even her to handle.
The trip was long with frequent stops. By the time they arrived, the sun was nearing its peak.
The carriage pulled up in front of the house. Finn had hoped to get into the house and explain the situation to his wife before she had to deal with the entirety of it, but it was not to be. As the carriage turned the last corner to the house, he saw her standing by some bushes with the head gardener. She recognized his livery immediately and began walking toward him.
He stepped out and embraced her very briefly.
“Naomi,” he began to speak, hoping he would at least have a moment to explain himself before they were interrupted. “I must speak with you.”
“Of course,” she beamed up at him, “shall we go inside for dinner, or would you care for a walk first?”
He shook his head, “I am afraid we must speak now.”
A weak cry from inside the carriage stopped what he was going to say.
Naomi frowned in question.
He struggled for an explanation. All the words he had been practicing the past few hours deserted him.
Naomi stepped around him and opened the door. He watched her expression change from confusion to surprise to delight.
