“You sound way too excited about this.”
“I am. I don’t have many friends. I was homeschooled because I had bad depression and anxiety. I’ve only been able to start going out and socialize again last year. My mom knew Josie, and she asked if I could start with working an hour per day just to get me back in the real world. That’s how I started. I don’t know if you have bad anxiety or depression or anything else, but I can tell you haven’t been close to anyone in a long time. Having a friend and someone to listen to you, and who is there with you at night to laugh at shit TV shows is a must in your life right now. And I need someone to judge those brides-to-be on ‘Say Yes to the Dress’, so you’re stuck.” She links her arm with mine as I get up from my chair, and we walk out of the restaurant.
“What’s ‘Say Yes to the Dress’?” If the horrified look on her face is anything to go by, I’ve just offended her.
“One of the most entertaining shows ever! Come on, we’re going to your place, picking up your stuff, and going back to mine. You’re sleeping in a proper bed tonight, and we’re having ice cream while watching an episode or two. We have a late start tomorrow.” She grins, happy as Larry as we go to her car.
When I woke up this morning, I was worried about how my day and my future would go. Tonight I’m going to bed in a real bed—not a hotel one—with the prospect of having a friend and support from people who are just that nice they are willing to help others they don’t know just because it’s normal to them.
I have no idea what the future holds for me and what’s written in the cards, but I like whatever was written for today.
February 1, 2016
Gail didn’t lie when she said there would be a room for me and one for the baby. There’s a spare room that she doesn’t use and doesn’t plan on using. It’s like it was made for me and Elijah.
The first night I spent at there was something to remember. We did watch ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ and I have to say that I’m hooked. She’s got me hooked on so many shows now, it’s crazy.
We quickly fell into a comfortable routine. We’re always having breakfast at work so it saves us having to cook it so we can sleep that extra bit of time. We either pack our lunch or go to the deli next door, and for dinner, we cook together. It’s quite fun to be able to make your own food again and have someone to share it with.
Our place is a five-minute walk to work, which is perfect, especially after our shifts.
I’ve met her mom and her brother. They are both lovely and totally approve of Gail’s idea to ask me to be her roommate. You’d think they’d call her crazy, but they didn’t, and they accepted me straightaway. I was a bit worried that it was to steal Elijah at first because everything seemed too perfect, but they are just so nice, I don’t see why they would do that.
Suzie, Gail’s mom, offered me some of her maternity clothes that actually fit me and look awesome. I have enough clothes for Elijah for the next couple of years if I stay here, and it’s the same for toys. As her kids grew up, she neatly packed everything just in case someone in need could make use of them.
I don’t know what I did to deserve these people in my life. The amount of support I’ve had since I left home has been overwhelming, even though I’ve been keeping people at arm’s length and leaving as soon as they would try to get close to me. This is the first time I’m not running away from a possible happy future.
Callum
I’ve been walking a fine line between coping and insanity. It’s so easy to lose yourself between both and not know which one is your reality. Despite what my brothers think, I’m not okay. I haven’t been in twelve years, and I’ll never be okay again.
There are two wolves battling with me at all times. One is good; the other one is evil. If you wonder which one will succeed, simple—it’s the one fed by the rage I’ve been feeling for the past twelve years. I’m not sure I’m salvageable nor do I know if I want to be salvaged. I’m content with the life I lead right now.
All the shit I’ve been through has been a result of all the mistakes I’ve made since I was born.
The one that really shaped the man that I am now and the way I live my life is when I made the mistake to cross paths with the Satan’s Inferno. I was a cocky bastard back then, and according to my family, I still am now, but that’s beside the point. I was drinking more than I should have and picking fights with anyone who was looking at me the wrong way.
I beat up two of the Inferno’s and two days later, their Prez found me and wanted me dead. I’m still not sure how I managed to get myself out of that fucked up mess, but I did and after one too many drinks. They claimed they had the best pussy from all over the country, and they were willing to have sex for the right amount of money; that they were the best at what they did. I assumed as he said that they were really willing. I was so fucking wrong.
In my drunken state, I said yes. I’ve never paid for sex and never will. I’ve never had to, but something told me to go along and see what they were all about.
We drove to their brothel and they led me to the level of the house where they kept their women. Each woman I passed was more beautiful than the previous one. I was told to pick any woman I wanted for the night for the right fee, and I weirdly was okay with that idea.
A willing woman ready for a night of filthy sex was just what I needed. No man would say no to that.
The one in the last room is the one who caught my eyes. She was younger than I would usually go for, but she was fucking beautiful.
Her face was the one of an angel, she had the perfect body, perky tits, nice round ass. You get the picture. I could go on forever. She’s that perfect to me. She’s just below Alina in my favorite women. She’s my friendship soulmate, and I know I give shit to the other guys for talking that way, but that’s how I feel.
I wanted Nancy as soon as I first laid eyes on her. I gave a load of cash to the guard and walked in the tiny room. I went to close the door to the room and they protested, but I didn’t care. I locked the door before walking over to her.
For a few minutes, she was cowering against the headboard, but once she realized I wasn’t there to hurt her, she crawled seductively over to me. As she was about to lower the zipper of my jeans, I stopped her. I couldn’t fuck her. She looked so innocent and scared. She wasn’t there willingly, and that made my blood boil. I sat down on the bed with her, and she looked at me confused.
“I’m not going to fuck you, don’t worry,” I said quietly.
“Why not? You paid for it,” she replied as quietly as me.
“Because you don’t want it. I’m not going to force myself onto you. That’s not what I paid for.” I looked at her and she sighed in relief.
“Are you going to tell the guard or ask for your money back?” She’s back to sounding worried.
“No, don’t worry. I won’t tell on you.”
“Thank you.” She smiled shyly.
“What’s your name?”
“I’m Nancy, and you?”
“I’m Callum.”
“I wish I could say it’s nice to meet you, Callum.” She sighed.
“How long have you been doing this?”
“Way too long.”
“I take it you never wanted to be a part of this?”
“You got that right.”
“What happened to you?” I looked her over. She still looked scared, but her body was much more relaxed as if she knew I wouldn’t let anything happen to her.
“It’s a long story.”
“We’ve got all night, baby.” I chuckled and made myself comfortable on her bed, lying down, crossing my hands behind my head.
“Are you for real?” She glared at me. I’m not sure if it’s because I was taking up most of the bed or because I actually wanted to hear her story.
“Yes, I’m for real. Come on, lie back, relax, and tell Callum.” I waggled my eyebrows, teasing her. I hoped she wouldn’t think wrong of my offer to lie back and relax. I really just wanted to g
et to know her and for her to have a stress-free night. I don’t know why I wanted to know her so badly, I don’t care about anybody else but me, today was different.
“You try anything, I’ll scream,” she threatened and laid next to me.
“If you scream they’ll know you haven’t done your job, and they won’t be happy with you.”
“Thanks for that, Captain Obvious.” She groaned and pushed into me, so I gave her some space. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to me. She tensed up for a second before relaxing and cuddling into me. It felt good to have someone in my arms again. I never stick long enough for that, nor did I want to.
“That was uncalled for. I told you I wouldn’t try anything. I always stick to my promises.”
“Thank you.”
“What for?” I looked at her not sure what she’s thanking me for.
“For not fucking me when I didn’t want to.”
“Babe, I don’t need to force myself on a woman to get some.”
“Yet, you paid to have sex tonight,” she teased.
“And I’m fucking glad I did.”
“You do know how to make a girl feel special.”
“I don’t know if you mean it or if you’re being sarcastic.”
“I mean it. It’s good not to stress for once.” She sighed and curled into my side even more.
“I’m glad I can provide that for you.” I kissed the crown of her head and waited for her to speak on her own, not wanting to press her anymore.
That night, I wasn’t prepared for what she told me. Nothing could have prepared me for it. The shit she’d been through until I met her and what she went through after is something I’d never wish on anyone. She’s a strong woman, all of the MC ladies are, but Nancy holds a special place in my heart. If anyone comes into my life, they’ll have to understand the bond I share with Nancy. I’m not sure Bennett has accepted it fully yet, but he understands. He’s still a pain in the ass most of the time about it. He thinks I’m going to try and steal his woman. Nancy is like a little sister to me. She’s off limits. She was ever since she looked at me that first day. I knew I wanted to protect her and make her life better. I can’t do that in all aspects, but if Bennett needs a push or a punch, however you wanna see it, I’m there to give it to him.
Bennett often asks me what the hell was wrong with me and why I didn’t help her out of the hell she was in. It was her choice. As we developed our bond, she refused any help to get out or for me to be involved with getting her out. She didn’t want me to get hurt because of her, or so she said. I’ll forever hate myself for leaving her in there for so long. I should have gone against what she asked of me; it could have ruined what we had, and I wasn’t ready to lose her. From either going against her will or from her dying at the hands of those monsters.
Nancy being Nancy, she made me say yes to anything she asked of me. I was too much of a sucker for her. That’s how I was roped into getting her chocolate every time I went to see her. She was devouring every last piece of chocolate and hiding what I was sneaking in. Despite where we were meeting, we do have a lot of great memories from our many chats.
If only my brothers knew how pussy whipped I was for her, I’d never hear the end of it. I’m surprised she never let it slip. Her loyalty to me has never changed, no matter how rough things got for her.
I was shocked and relieved when she ran into Bennett and me last year. She escaped one of her clients who drugged her and finally managed to set herself free. In hindsight, I think that’s what she always wanted, to be the one getting her freedom back on her own terms.
Since then, I’ve seen her evolve into the amazing woman that she is, and she and Bennett are steady now. Nancy is pregnant and they have a puppy to take care of, which requires less work than Bennett. They moved in next door to me, and I couldn’t be happier about it.
I’m happy for them. They deserve to be happy.
All my brothers do. Helping them find their happiness and making sure they don’t mess it up with their ladies is more important to me than finding my own. The guys understand me, the ladies don’t. They keep asking me why I’m not getting close to anyone or dating, that I’m soon going to be too old to have kids.
I do long for a family; a woman in my life, a little me running around, but I’m cursed. Any woman I’ve ever had feelings for or got close to ended up dead or close to it.
No one in the MC besides Ant and Nancy knows about Alina and Billy. I trust them and know they wouldn’t run their mouth about it. Truth is, I haven’t met anyone who makes me feel. I’ve been with my fair share of women but have yet to meet someone who makes me feel like Alina did or like Nancy does when we’re spending time together. I don’t deserve love. I don’t deserve to be loved. Nancy always reminds me that I am deserving of love, and for some reason, I believe her. She always jokes that I’ll meet her when I’m in one of my stubborn fucked up moods and that she’ll be the one turning my frown upside down. I doubt I’ll ever meet someone who’s able to do that and accept my lifestyle and my past, but I want to believe Nancy.
I’ve only ever loved two women in my life, Alina and Nancy, and I’ve only ever been in love once, with Alina. Don’t get me wrong, I love the other women in my life, but not on the same level.
Nancy is the one I confess to the most, and when she heard about me having sex with Detective Lewis, she made sure to let me know she knew, and she wanted to know more. There wasn’t anything to say. I needed sex and Lewis was there and up for it. Or so I thought.
It all started before Nancy came back. I was at my cabin, escaping from life’s adversities when a little birdie came knocking on my door. I’m not one to push myself onto women, so I let things play out. We fucked the next day. It went on a couple of times while we were there. That was until I figured out she was a cop, and she figured out I was an outlaw. It was interesting to say the least.
I don’t care who I fuck as long as it doesn’t bring any more heat under my ass than I already have with club wars.
It was harder for her to accept the fact that I’m an outlaw than for me.
In the end, she wanted more than what I could give her. She wanted a relationship and was ready to put everything on the line to follow her heart. In a way, I’m sad I couldn’t give her what she wanted. She was a good woman and would have made someone happy, just not me.
When shit went down with Bennett and the Inferno’s, Lewis was killed in the middle of a gun fight. I’m not gonna lie. I was and still am heartbroken that she was killed in such a way. She was young and had so much to give. She didn’t deserve any of this. I feel responsible for her death. Had she not had any part in this or listened to me, she’d still be alive.
Joining the MC changed my life for the best. I had no purpose in my life before joining them, and being part of a family made me feel like I mattered again which hadn’t happened since Alina and Billy died.
I joined the MC five years ago, not long after my first encounter with Nancy. Had I known she was with Bennett when it all happened, we would have gotten her out of there a lot sooner.
The way I joined the MC is quite comical if I’m honest. Ant and I had a heated fight one night after drinking more than we should have, especially for him, he was still quite young. Although this time it wasn’t because he looked at me in the wrong way or provoked me. When we talk about it, we always get a good laugh out of it.
I’d just left Nancy, and I was riding to a bar. I needed to unwind. The stories she keeps telling me about what she has to do to get by day in and day out are breaking my heart and she still refuses to let me help her. Me being the sucker that I am, I listened to her and did fuck all. It’s messing with my head, but I understood why she’s being the way she is. It still took me a while to get there, but I guess she’d rather live knowing what’s to come and what she’ll have to do rather than worry about who would be after her and what the consequences would be for the both of us if I got her out of there.
I thought about going to the cops, but there were two problems. I fucking hate the cops, they are useless; and they are corrupted. Some of the girls’ best clients are part of the local police corps.
I felt helpless about Nancy’s situation. I wish I could go more often to see her, at least I’d be able to protect her from the horrors she has to go through and the perverts she has to fuck, but they would find it suspicious, and I didn’t have an unlimited amount of cash.
I parked at the bar ready to drink myself into oblivion, needing to forget about what Nancy told me tonight about one of the guys who went to fuck her last week. I don’t ever want to think about that again, ever, and I wish I could erase it from my memory.
I took off my helmet and climbed off my bike as two other bikers walked past me. They gave me a chin lift in greeting for being a biker, too, I guess. I don’t have the first clue about the biker world. It’s my only escape. When I ride, I’m able to empty my mind and let go of all my worries. I’ve found myself crossing many state borders without realizing it. I never stayed long in one place. I’d stay in a motel for a couple of nights and leave again, going back on the road to free my mind. Some nights, like tonight, it’s not enough, and I need help from my good old friend Jack Daniels to chase those memories that invade my every thought away.
“Nice cruiser,” the one with the long hair said, eying my bike.
“Thanks,” I said, proud of my baby. Sally has become my life after Alina and Billy were ripped away from me. “Yours, too.” I pointed at theirs.
“They are our lives. You look like you could use a drink…or ten. Want to join us?” the bearded one asked me.
“Ten sounds more like it.” I chuckled without any trace of humor.
Stripping Callum (Last Hangman MC Book 6) Page 4
