“You’re not.” He wraps his arms around me and comforts me.
“I am!” I whine through my tears.
“What are you going on about?” he asks, sounding confused.
“Just know that wherever I go something bad happens.” I sniff, wiping my tears.
“Babe, you’re going to have to talk to me.” He strokes my cheek and I nod, but I can’t. I can’t tell him everything. “You won’t.” He sighs.
“It’s not as easy as it seems.” I face plant against his chest.
“You’ll get there.” He kisses the top of my head.
“You two should go home. You need to talk or at least relax a bit. Gail and I got this, we can call her brother if anything. Don’t worry.” Josie pats my back.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, go before I change my mind.” She chuckles.
“Thank you.” I pull away from Callum and hug her. “You’re the best.”
“Thanks for stating the obvious.” She hugs me back and shoos us away.
We go to his place and I call Lawrence, telling him I don’t feel good and that I need the night off. He’s totally understanding and doesn’t mind me skipping a night. I’m relieved because I really didn’t feel like going to work and stripping for random people. The fun of the first few months is slowly wearing off, and now I’m just going to see Callum. Although I still wonder why he doesn’t mind me taking my clothes off in front of other men.
We’ve been at Callum’s for an hour, just lying on the couch in silence when he breaks it.
“The first time I saw you was when you were hanging out with a guy at the lake. You seemed happy and like you were having fun. I was jealous of that guy. I wanted to be that guy,” he says out of nowhere. I look up at him, confused. “You always tell me I’m never opening up to you, I am.” He chuckles.
“Thank you.”
“What I wouldn’t give to be at least ten years younger.”
“Why?”
“Because then I’d be closer to your age.”
“Like you care about the age difference,” I scoff.
“I don’t, but you will.”
“Why do you say that?” I’m getting slightly annoyed with him. It’s like he’s trying to find an excuse to push me away.
“Because you’re twenty-two, and I’m going on forty. I’m eighteen years older than you.”
“So? I don’t see where you’re going with this.”
“Nowhere, I was just saying. Maybe you need someone younger.” He sighs, playing with my hair.
“So, you’re telling me that you saw me a while ago, wanted me and pursued me, only to tell me now that you’re too old for me?”
“Something like that?” He chuckles humourlessly.
“Before anything started between us, I knew you were older than me. I never cared. I like you for you. Despite you having your annoying moments, you’re a decent guy. You’re good looking, funny, nice when you’re not being moody, and you’re good in bed. You can cook, and you always make sure I’m good and happy. Why do you want to ruin whatever it is that is between us?” The more I talk, the louder my voice gets. I’m seriously getting annoyed with him. As much as I don’t want to define the relationship, I don’t want it to end.
“You know how to make a man feel special even if you’re yelling at him.” He smiles.
“I’m serious!”
“Me too. I like you. A lot. I’m just not good enough for you. You deserve better. You mentioned bringing drama with you wherever you go. I’m the same. Every woman I’ve ever had something with ended up dead.”
“Man, deadly dick?” I try not to laugh, but a snort comes out of me on its own free will.
“Very funny.” He chuckles. “I mean it.”
“So, every woman you’ve fucked is dead?” I ask in horror.
“No, just the ones I had something more than just sex with.”
“So, that includes the cop?”
“Yeah. Although we only fucked a couple of times, she ended up dead.”
“Now don’t get mad, but the world doesn’t revolve around you. We’ve already established that what happened to the cop was pure coincidence and a case of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. I don’t know who else in your life died, but I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for it. Something else other than you being the missing piece about those tragedies.”
“While I see your point about Lewis, I still think that I could have protected her better.” He blows out a breath.
“Maybe she didn’t want you to protect her. She was carrying, she could protect herself. Maybe it was in the heat of the moment that she was wherever it was that it went down, but it’s not on you. I know it, and you know it. And I’m sure all your friends know it and told you, but you’re too damn stubborn to accept that fact and would rather wallow in self-pity than admit you’re wrong.” I don’t know why I’m being such a bitch to him, but the fact that he’s still blaming himself for something that clearly isn’t his fault is annoying me.
“You’ve got some balls.” He chuckles and rolls us over so that he’s lying on top of me before kissing me passionately.
“Maybe.” I hold him to me, his forehead resting against mine.
“Yes, I still feel responsible because I should have put my foot down and not let her come with us.” He sighs.
“Do you really think that you could have stopped her one way or another?”
“I don’t think so, no.”
“You’re going to have to accept that you can’t save everybody.” I stroke his cheek.
“I wish I could.” He buries his face in my neck and kisses the soft spot behind my ear.
“My beautiful, damaged man,” I whisper, kissing his forehead.
“No, I’m not,” he scoffs.
“Yes, you are.” I’m as stubborn as he is.
“Have you been talking to Nancy?”
“Who?” I ask, confused.
“She’s one of my closest friends.”
“Is she hot?” I ask, slightly jealous and wondering how close they are.
“Yes.”
“Ever had feelings for her?”
“No, even though at one point I wanted to.”
“Why?” This man is a walking enigma.
“Because she knows about all the fucked up things that happened in my life.”
“Will you ever tell me?”
“Eventually, but the day I do tell you, you’ll have a decision to make.” He sighs.
“And what would that decision be?
“To send me away and never see me again or accept my past and stick with me.”
“Okay.” I stroke his cheek and look into his eyes.
He’s been damaged more than once in his life and it’s taken its toll on him. I don’t know exactly what happened, but it rocked his world and not in a good way. By what he said, someone was taken away from him and it traumatized him, stopping him from wanting to get close to anyone in a romantic way. With us getting closer, it might be bringing unwanted memories back to the surface. Which I can understand. I hate it when something brings back the memories of my parents’ and what my aunt became.
I just wish he’d let me in fully and tell me what happened. I have a feeling it’ll take a lot longer to get all of that out of him. He’s slowly confessing more and more to me, so there’s hope at last.
Callum
Three weeks later
Things have been steady with Bella, even though neither of us wants to define the relationship. Me in fear of the what might happen if we put a label on it, and her because she says she’s not ready for one. A part of me is relieved about that because it’s never caused a fight between us, and the other wonders what else I should do to make her want a relationship with me. I don’t know why I want her to want a relationship with me. Maybe because deep down inside I want to be loved and feel loved again. It’s very selfish, but when it comes to Bella, I’m a very selfish man.
The g
irls keep asking me to bring her over to hang out at the compound, but I don’t want her to be connected to the club in the slightest, especially not now when there’s an MC on the loose, trying to take women to do as they please with them. I’ve seen what they did to Nancy. I won’t let that happen again to anyone else.
Nancy.
She’s keeping a strong front for everybody, but I know how much this is all affecting her. She’s been through this once, and I’m sure she’s dreading them getting close to her again. She’s staying at the compound with Bennett at the moment to make sure they are both safe. I’m thinking of dragging them to the safe house whether they want it or not. I know it’ll kill them if either of them is hurt by those lowlife pieces of shit.
We’re currently after them. The Satan’s Inferno MC. They’ve been the source of many of my problems over the years, and even though Ant wants to try to solve things, I just want to end them one by one. They don’t deserve to live. I should have ended them all when Nancy was in their whorehouse or at least start. But I had to do the sensible thing and listen to her and not do what I wanted to do, and now they are rebuilding and messing with this town again.
Ryan has been keeping an eye on Bella and the coffee shop. I didn’t want to leave her without protection, but I didn’t want her to feel like I didn’t think she would be capable of taking care of herself, so I asked Ryan to stick around. Weirdly, she didn’t seem to mind. Hell, she even seemed happy that it was Ryan because they seem to get along a bit too well since the first time she came to the garage. I don’t like the fact that they are that close, but I know Ryan would never try anything with her. The only thing I’m worried about is that she could start developing feelings for him. He’s around her age and would be best suited for her, but I’m not willing to let her go without a fight.
“Stop thinking about Bella, you’re going to get yourself killed,” Gabe tells me bringing me back to reality. I stare at him blankly. “We’ve all been there, in love with a woman who deserves better than us. I get it. You love her, she loves you, get over it and focus on the task at hand or you’re really going to get yourself killed. This is for her safety, too.”
“I know,” I simply say.
“So you’re admitting to loving her,” he says with a smug look on his face.
“Fuck off.”
“I thought it would be harder to get it out of you.”
“I didn’t admit anything.”
“By denying it, you did. Listen, I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, but if you love her, don’t let her go. You’ll end up regretting it.” Gabe always knows what to say.
“She does deserve better.”
“Fuck that bullshit. You’re just scared.”
“For good reason, every woman I’ve ever been involved with has ended up dead.”
“Stop feeding yourself that bullshit. Alina wasn’t your fault, nor was Lewis. She was at the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“You sound like Bella,” I scoff.
“Have you told her about Alina?”
“No, haven’t had the chance to.”
“Yeah right, I’m sure you had the time but were too much of a coward to tell her.”
“Maybe. She knows about Lewis and said the same as you did.” I blow out a breath as we are hidden watching over the Satan’s Inferno’s activities.
“Great woman. Do you love her?” Gabe asks.
“I don’t know.”
“You know. You either love her or don’t.”
“For the longest time, I thought I was in love with Alina, that she was the one for me and I’d never meet anyone who made me feel like she did. Then…”
“Then you met Bella who makes you feel as good as Alina made you feel.”
“No, she makes me feel like I matter, like I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to her.”
“What’s the issue then?” Gabe asks, confused.
“I’m not sure now if I ever was in love with Alina.” I look at him probably looking as confused as I feel.
“You probably were but on a different level than with Bella. Your first love isn’t always the right one.”
“Viv was for you. Ayden was for Ant. Charline was for Aleck. Nancy was for Bennett.”
“Alright, smartass. What I mean is that while Alina was special to you and showed you what love is, Bella is the one who gets to do that every day and made you feel it again. I know you never thought you’d ever love and feel loved again yet, it happened. So you’re fre—”
“Bella doesn’t want a relationship. She’s fine with what we have now.” I sigh.
“Brother, you two are in a relationship whether you want to put a label on it or not. You’re spending the little time she has with her. She’s spending the night at yours a few times a week. You’re sharing and making memories. That’s a relationship.” Gabe chuckles.
“And you two are sounding like women. If you don’t shut it we’ll get busted,” Aleck says from behind us, startling us both.
“Fuck off, you’re worse than us both combined,” I scoff.
“True, and I have to agree with Gabe. You are just too scared to accept the obvious. Besides, who the fuck needs a label. You two love each other, live for the moment,” Aleck says, agreeing with his brother.
“Fuck you two.” I groan and get my binoculars to keep a closer look on their clubhouse. “Looks like there’s some action going on.” I pass them to Gabe who takes a look.
“What’s going on?” Aleck asks.
“They are bringing women in,” I say through gritted teeth and motion for the others to move in. We’ve got the help of the Bastards from Hell and the Fallen Angels, our two ally clubs. With their help, we should be able to shut their club down or at least get them to back down from our territory.
The reason why we’re moving in is simple. We don’t want them to sow terror on New Orleans. The city has been good to us since we’ve made peace with the Bastards and the Angels. Even the cops are leaving us be. They could come after Jase, but they know they have three MC on their asses if they do so, and I don’t think the police force of New Orleans would be able to go against us.
We surround their clubhouse and quickly move in, guns blazing, holding whoever we see at gunpoint.
“Who is in charge?” Ant barks at the young guy he has.
“I…”
“Speak, you son of a bitch!” He yells at him, and he cowers.
“H-him.” He points at another guy being held by Ray. He pushes him to the ground still holding his gun to his head.
Ant walks toward him with the kid and faces him off. Their Prez looks scared shitless of Ant, and I’m sure he has murderous thoughts for his snitch.
“Well, well, well, what is it that you think you’re doing in our city? On our territory?” Ant asks, towering over him.
“Keeping up with what Richard started.”
“And you really think with what? The twenty of you there is that you’ll be able to do as you please?” Ant laughs.
“We just want some women to start back business. You freed the ones we had. It’s only fair we come here to take what was rightly ours.” I have to give it to him, he has balls to say that to a man who could just end his life with a bullet. Hell, I’m sure Ant could snap this kid’s head with just one punch.
“Fair? You really think it’s fair to take women against their will and to force them to fuck men? To have them locked up and do as you please with them? To rape them and kill them when they aren’t cooperating?” Ant says in a chillingly calm voice. The calm before the storm.
“Yes,” the fool answers.
“You’ve got to be shitting me. How about we do this to your mother, your girlfriend, your sister? How would you feel about it?”
“I…”
“That’s what I thought. All those women you’re taking are mothers, girlfriends, wives, sisters. None of you deserve to live to see another day. What Richard started isn’t how an MC is supposed to be.
Yes, we do illegal stuff at times, but nothing like this. We do not hurt women. We protect them and love them. Following in his footsteps is making you even worse than he was. In his fucked-up mind, he thought he was doing something good. You know how wrong it is and how wrong it can turn out for you, yet you’re doing it again. You’re really stupid.”
“I didn’t think.”
“No, you didn’t. You’re going to let the women you have go for starters,” Ant commands him, and he hesitates for a minute. “I’m not joking. If you don’t I’m putting a bullet in this kid’s brain.” Ant holds his gun against the kid’s head, and he looks terrified. I’m not sure he ever intended to be here and be a part of all of this, but if their Prez doesn’t pull his hand out of his ass, the kid is going to get a bullet in his head.
“Alright. Let them go,” he commands, his eyes trained on whoever Ant is holding.
They let the women that were in the main room go and we move them outside, a couple of our men going with them. I motion for another group to go look around to see if they are hiding anymore. I wouldn’t put it past them to already have a few lined up.
A few minutes later of staring down, we hear a couple of gunshots before Ray reappears.
“They had some men up there too with the ladies. We had to take them down,” he says emotionlessly, which isn’t surprising considering Alysson, his wife, was killed by Richard because she didn’t want to comply. This is why coming here today was so important to him. He wants to put an end to all of this, and I’m sure he wouldn’t be against putting a bullet in every single one of their men’s heads. Nor would I. I’m not for executing people, but they don’t deserve any better.
“No need to justify yourself, brother,” Ant says nodding at him. Ray nods at him and moves out with the ladies they found upstairs. In total, they had already taken fifteen women. Fifteen innocent women who never caused them any trouble.
“Now, we should kill every single one of you for what you were trying to do, but I’m feeling gracious. We let you get out of here alive, you better clean up your act and find something else to do other than exploiting women for money. If I ever hear about your MC again linked to any issue with women, I’ll come and end you all myself. Are we clear?” Ant says shocking most of us. We were all ready to end them all to hell, and he’s just spoiled the moment by letting them go. I don’t know what his motives are behind it, but something must have happened.
Stripping Callum (Last Hangman MC Book 6) Page 13
