by Royale, KC
Professor Brennan was the only man to really show any real interest in me, romantically or otherwise. He’d always recommend that I take his extra-credit seminars, or stay after class for group studying, and I would always happily agree. When he touched me, I have never felt so wanted in my entire life. He more than wanted me. He craved me in ways I didn’t think were even possible. Did he always crave this level of intimacy with me? Was all of this a part of his master plan? Am I his obsession?
“Oh. My. God,” I choked out, as the vomit inched higher up my throat. The clues had always been there, but now I could see them clearly. He would be the only one that would want me enough to do this. I knew that he would go to any lengths to have me. But would that really include watching me?
His frame matched the one I’d seen months ago of the stalker. His voice didn’t carry the rasp his did, but most voices only had that at given times. His eyes were the same of the man who saved me, and his touch was of one starving for the affection of only one woman. ME!! He had told me he’d wanted more with me, and he wanted to be with me in ways I hadn’t even considered yet. He welcomed me into his home and was willing to give or be anything I needed.
He was so sweet and caring, and was an amazing lover. He made me feel like no other woman could do anything for him, and that I was his only craving. I knew that I secretly craved his touch and his kiss, but how was I supposed to feel when he lied and secretly watched me like some lunatic? He listened so attentively to me tell him all about the stalker yesterday, and he seemed so confident in saying that it would stop now, since the police were involved.
Which was something that I didn’t think of, but now I knew why he said that. It wasn’t because the sirens and police presence might have scared him away. It was because he now had what he wanted… I was right here with him.
Right here in his home, making love to him, eating and connecting with him and falling for him even more with every moment I’m with him. He watched me, manipulated me, and now he scared the hell out of me. I felt the vomit in my throat again, trying to come up. Knock. Knock. “Jess, baby?” He called from outside the bathroom door. I leapt off the toilet, falling to my knees, as the vomit began to come up.
I retched in the toilet repeatedly, at the severity of this situation and the insanity of his pursuits. The door flew open and he stormed inside, dropping to his knees and rubbing my back, comforting me. I wanted to shove him off of me. I wanted to yell that I knew it was him, but I was so exhausted and racked with dry heaves that I allowed him to comfort me. But I loved his touch, his warmth, his sincerity, and his need for me. OMG! I was insane.
I can’t love my stalker!!! I doubled over once more, as the vomit came up again, and I heard him on the phone with Dr. Klein telling him to come over. I went to protest, but another wave of vomit came out of my mouth, splattering onto the floor and all over the toilet seat.
“Jesus, Jess, let me help you, baby,” he murmured, laying a towel over the splattered vomit, and pulling me up slightly to wipe my mouth. I looked at him, dazed and confused, as he ran the cloth under the cold water and dabbed my face. “Dr. Klein is on the way, baby. You’ll be fine. I promise.”
“Crackers, ginger ale?” I uttered, he nodded and kissed my head.
“Be right back, keep this cloth on your head,” he ordered, before running out of the bathroom and down the stairs like a madman. I lay on the toilet seat feeling as if my world was crumbling, and there was nowhere to run. I had conflicted emotions on what I should do, and what I wanted to do. I had so many questions, but I was scared of the answers.
I pulled myself off the floor, feeling as if the vomiting was over, and I moved my body towards the sink. I splashed water on my face and reached for my toothbrush, when Thomas came back in the bathroom with crackers and two mini bottles of ginger ale.
“Baby, I’m sorry I took so long, your clothes delivery is here.”
They’re bringing them up right now, but I have your crackers and ginger ale. The doctor should be here any moment…” he rambled nervously, and I couldn’t understand why my sickness made him so nervous. I was the one sick for goodness sake. He lifted a cracker to my mouth and I shook my head, as I silently watched him in the mirror.
I brushed my teeth and rinsed with mouthwash and let him help me to the bed. Where I then took a few sips of the ginger ale, as I climbed in the bed in the guest-room. He then went to re-wet the cloth for my head, and was folding it as he laid it on my head. He sat my warm soda and small plate of crackers on the night stand, as he held my hand. I felt so much better after I ate a few of the crackers, he’d fed me.
All this time I was thinking that this was the beginning of a new and fresh relationship, in the beginning phases of blooming. But to my horror, all this may have not been random at all. It all may have been structured, by my very own professor. The one who was feeding me another cracker as we speak, while gazing at me intensely, as if he was feeling all the pain and anguish I was feeling.
“Better?” He asked, and I nodded as I gazed back at him. I couldn’t speak, there were no words to say out of my mouth. I just continued to look at him, in his eyes… the eyes of my stalker.
Chapter 19
The personal shoppers brought bag after bag of items inside the guest room for me. There was a small team of four, for the mass delivery. There were boxes of shoes, heels, and boots, and bags of undergarments, including lingerie. There were pant suits, skirts, dresses, jeans, accessories, and sweaters. This man ordered me an entire wardrobe.
He directed them to arrange all the items in the walk in closet, and on top of and inside the chest dresser drawers. As I just continued to lay there, silently, as he occasionally came over and dabbed my head with the cool cloth, and feed me a cracker. When he wasn’t near me, I felt his eyes on me, and when I looked over at him, he would wink at me.
After the unpacking was finished and he had signed on the dotted line, he then walked them out. I sat back and exhaled, and closed my eyes. I felt like I was in the twilight zone, again. I didn’t know how I should be feeling right now.
Should I be happy or angry? Should I be scared or calm? Should I just leave or confront him? I was literally torn in two. He then walked back in the room, and he wasn’t alone. There was an older gentlemen with him, who I assumed to be the doctor. He was dressed in a suit, with warm brown eyes and grey hair. His eyes were full of wisdom and I could tell almost immediately that he was very knowledgeable, about life.
“Jessica, this is Dr. Klein,” Thomas introduced him, as he made his way over to me. I sat up a little and gave him a tight smile.
“Hello, it’s nice to meet you, Dr. Klein,” I muttered, clearing my throat.
“You too, Jessica. So I hear you’re not feeling well today?” His voice was one of concern, so much concern it seemed odd at first. But he was a doctor, so he was concerned for the wellbeing of all people, I suppose.
“Yeah, I guess not,” I uttered.
“Baby, Dr. Klein has always been my family’s personal physician, as well as a personal friend. I trust him completely,” he stated proudly.
“Thanks for the compliment, Thomas, but let’s get her checked out. May I?” He turned to me and I nodded. Dr. Klein then moved towards me, with his doctor bag full of goodies.
“Um, Thomas?” I called.
“Yes, baby?” He was at my side in a second, and I handed him the empty plate from on the side table. “More?” He asked, as he smiled.
“Please,” I smiled back at him. He took the plate from me and leaned down and kissed my head.
“As you wish. Can you eat anything? You still haven’t had breakfast yet,” he asked.
“Maybe a toasted English muffin, and a few pieces of bacon would be fine,” I suggested.
“Okay, baby, no problem. Dr. Klein will take care of you,” he stated, and then turned to the doctor. “Anything for you, Peter?”
“No, thank you, Thomas,” Dr. Klein replied. He then headed out the door and
I exhaled, and relaxed into my pillow.
“He makes you nervous?” He smiled, as he checked my pulse. If he only he knew!
“I guess he does, but only sometimes,” I replied.
“Yes, he can be very intense, but he is a good boy, considering...” he muttered, and checked my temperature.
“Considering what?” I asked, before he placed the thermometer in my mouth.
“Did you know his family?” He asked.
“No, I haven’t met them yet,” I mumbled. Wait, he said…did…didn’t he? As in past tense? As in no longer here?
“Ah, so you don’t know what happened to them,” he stated, and I saw emotion covering his face.
“What happened?” I asked, as he checked my temperature.
“I’m not sure I should be the one to talk to you about this—”
“Please, he hasn’t told me yet,” I pleaded, hoping that he could give me some insight to this complicated, crazy man.
“Well, Thomas family was killed on a plane, fifteen years ago,” he stated, and I gasped and swallowed loudly, as he looked up at me. “They didn’t take Thomas with them on the trip, because he begged them to stay and attend some meet and greet with his cousin. Professors Abigale Brennan and Thomas Brennan Sr, were very accomplished and respected,” he sighed.
“They are truly missed by their friends, family, and students at Berkeley. They were returning from a tour of a volcano in Hawaii, both his parents and younger sister, Maggie, was on the plane.”
“That is horrible! How has he dealt with all this?” I was flabbergasted, this was such a tragedy and my heart cried for him. To be so young and to lose his family, must had devastated him.
“He was in therapy for a while, and he lived with an aunt and uncle, until he went to college. Then he decided to become a professor, to honor them. I think his goal in that alone, really helped him to overcome the shock of losing his family.”
“That couldn’t have been an easy goal, living up to your parent’s legacy, at their school nonetheless.”
“It wasn’t. He would call me sometimes to talk, and I would give him what he needed to hear, so that he wouldn’t quit. So that he would see his goal through, and he did,” he smiled as his words flowed from his mouth, like a proud father would. I smiled, and I immediately liked him even more.
“Thank you for telling me this, truly.”
“He is intense, but he has a great heart. He was always closed off to the opposite sex, afraid of being attached to anyone, for some reason. But not now, not with you. The fear and panic I saw and heard, once he opened the door for me, was something I hadn’t seen from him in years.”
“Really? I hardly know who he is or what he wants, or needs.”
“He needs you to be okay, Jessica. You mean something to him, and I can tell that he means something to you as well. So, do you have any idea why you are sick?” He asked.
“Huh, oh umm…I haven’t done anything out of the normal, if that’s what you’re asking,” I muttered, dazed at his previous statements.
“Have you taken any drugs, prescription or otherwise?”
“No, I haven’t taken any—” I froze mid-statement as I realization dawned on me.
“Hey, what is it…what have you taken?” He asked urgently, registering the horror on my face.
“It’s not what I’ve taken. It’s what I haven’t taken,” I sucked in a deep breath as I closed my eyes, chastising myself.
“I don’t follow, Jessica?”
“I had taken a morning after pill, night before last. I was supposed to take the other one yesterday,” I muttered.
“And did you?”
“I forgot,” I uttered. Oh my GOD!
“Oh my. I don’t need to tell you that without that second dose, at the exact time recommended, the intended results will be ineffective,” he replied, in the exact way I read that disclaimer off the damn box yesterday.
“No, you don’t need to tell me that,” I snapped.
“I will write you a prescription for birth control, but you need to rest today and tomorrow. Do you need a letter for work?” He asked, totally ignoring my irritation at my forgetfulness.
“No, I am supposed to start a new job tomorrow,” I murmured.
“Jessica, you have to take care of you first. You’re weak, and nauseous I presume, so you will need to rest. I will give you documentation for your employer, and a prescription for birth control, and one for motion sickness. But I would recommend that you see your doctor in a few weeks, to see if you’re pregnant or not. Depending on your cycle and ovulation…it may be too late to rule out the fact that you’re not,” he stated, as I signed.
“Oh God,” I uttered.
“Baby, I made you some coffee, too, in case you wanted some,” Thomas announced, as he re-entered the room, and both Dr. Klein’s and my head popped up.
“Well, I’ll be on my way then,” Dr. Klein announced. I watched as Thomas’s smile dropped, and his face was immediately filled with anxiety. “She will be fine, Thomas. She needs rest, food, and no alcohol or wine for the next few days,” he murmured to him, then turned to me and smiled. “Let me write your prescriptions and I’ll email you a letter for your work, Jessica,” he then pulled out his pad and began to scribble on it.
Thomas walked over and laid a cloth napkin over my lap, and set my plate over it, while placing my coffee on the side table. He’d made bacon, sausage and toasted two English muffins, one with butter and one with jelly. He was just too much sometimes. I looked up at him and found myself grinning at how attentive he was to me. When he noticed that I was smiling at him, the slow grin that took over his anxiety-ridden face, was simply breathtaking.
“Thank you,” I replied, as he gazed at me.
“Anything for you, baby, I lo—"
“Here you go, Jessica. You’re all set. Now remember my recommendations for later,” he walked over and shook my hand and then shook Thomas’s, before leaving my prescriptions on the table, next to my cup of coffee.
“It was very nice meeting you, Jessica. Take care of yourself,” he stated, but I wasn’t paying attention. I was still staring at Thomas, who was in turn, staring nervously back at me.
“Thank you, Dr. Klein,” he uttered warily, never taking his eyes off of me. He was about to say the L word. I knew it, and I felt it. His face, his eyes, and his shaky breaths confirmed it. HOLY COW!!!
“Thomas, I’ll see myself out, and please call me if you need me,” Dr. Klein stated, and then he left the room. Thomas was seated on the side of my bed next to me, his hand on my arm, and his eyes nervously on mine. He loved me? Did he really? How could he love me so soon? I was deep in thought, while my eyes stayed locked on his.
I knew what I wanted to ask him, but I couldn’t find the words. I didn’t have to worry about that for too much longer, because he actually beat me to the punch.
Chapter 20
“So, are you ready to tell me what your dream was about?” He calmly asked.
“You,” I said flatly.
“Me? You were dreaming about me, and you panicked like that?” He looked at me, as if I had actually insulted him with my answer. “What was I doing in this dream?” he uttered, gauging my reaction.
“I think you know exactly what you were doing in my dream already?” I snarled, and he flinched back from my anger. I was trying to stay calm, but I was quickly becoming overwhelmed again. All the info Dr. Klein had told me about his family, his stalker capabilities, a possible pregnancy, and his…love for me had me spent
“What are you talking about?” He asked.
“Thomas, I know,” I said, looking him square in the face.
“Know what?” He feigned innocence, and it pissed me off even more.
“Don’t play anymore games with me. No more, do you understand me?” My voice became louder with every word. “I. Fucking. Know.” My breathing had turned into harsh pants, as my anger began to rise. His ability to purposely not comprehend me, or admit to
his actions would not be tolerated. He lied and manipulated me, and only was incompetent when it was convenient for him and his goals. Until now, because now… I wanted the truth and he was going to give that to me, whether he wanted to or not.
He just stared at me, his face a complete blank and devoid of any emotion, which made it impossible for me to read. “I only have one question, and before you lie, think hard about your answer, Professor. If I don’t like your answer, or if it’s another lie… you won’t ever see me again,” he gasped and closed his eyes, as if my words had literally cut him. As if the thought of not seeing me took away his breath, and he couldn’t fathom the thought of not having me. Which was shocking and scary all in itself.
“Tell me…why?” I muttered, and braced myself for his answer.
He then opened his eyes as he exhaled, blinking nervously at me. I could see the mist covering his eyes, as he gazed silently at me. I knew he realized that his answer would confirm my assumptions of him, and also expose his motives for his actions. He was very silent, as he gazed at me and I at him. The only thing I could hear was our breathing. Why couldn’t he answer me? Why was he doing this? The minutes steadily passed with nothing being said between us, but our eyes stayed locked, and I could see him thinking about how to respond. I really didn’t know what started all of this, and what had made him begin to—
“Because I’m in love with you,” he choked out, and I gasped. Oh shit.
“Thomas, ugh, how can you be so sure that you love a woman you’ve only slept with a few times?” I asked, perplexed, while still digesting his declaration of love. Sherry was right, he really did want a life with me. Oh my god!
“It’s never been about the sex. I loved you before we ever made love, and I don’t think I can help it,” he looked sheepishly at me, and I swallowed rather loudly.
“Are you crazy, Thomas? Should I be scared of you?”
“I am not crazy, and I have no shame regarding my feelings for you, Jessica. I love you so much, and I couldn’t wait to get closer to you, so I progressed in the only way that I could,” he said.
