I kept my eyes on her. “Yeah, I did,” I admitted.
She watched me for a few seconds more before turning back to face the front of the classroom. I didn’t get a chance to talk to her again before the professor started the class.
Normally I enjoyed this class, especially with Angie and Emily keeping me on track, but not today. Instead I spent the whole time trying to think of a way to explain what had happened. Caleb had warned me about this but Lauren was just so sexy. How was I supposed to resist her when she was all over me? I tried to take her home, but I only had so much will power.
Shit. This was a mess.
Angie and Emily were like my sisters, especially when Emily was having one of her tantrums, like that of a child. We’d known each other since freshman year, and Angie and I had only grown closer when she started dating Caleb. I didn’t want what happened with Lauren to hurt our friendship. Even though the sex had been amazing, I had to find a way to make this right. Going out with Nick on Thursday and hooking up with some random girl was probably not the best idea. Then again, I could always go back to the girls’ places until this blew over. I shook my head. Damn! Why did they have to ask?
Suddenly, there was a set of fingers snapping in my face. I looked up and saw both of them standing there, waiting for me. Their expressions were neutral so I had no idea what might be going through their heads.
I collected my stuff and followed them out. Their silence was starting to piss me off. Lauren and I were both consenting adults—whatever we chose to do when we were together was no one’s business but ours. Lauren had known before we’d even left the bar what to expect, and yet she’d still come home with me. I stopped to tell them exactly that when I realized that Emily was headed to her next class, but Angie had stopped and was watching me.
Usually, we had lunch together while we were waiting for our next class, but I wasn’t sure what was going to happen today. I walked up to her and opened my mouth to tell her what happened between me and Lauren was our business, when she held her hand to stop me.
“We’ll talk over lunch.”
Nodding my head once I followed her to the cafeteria, walking the entire way without talking. The hustle and bustle in the cafeteria seemed louder for her silence and once we got our food and grabbed a seat. I watched Angie and waited for her to begin, but she didn’t. Instead, she sat there staring at the table. “Angie?” I said trying to get her attention.
She sighed and looked up at me and I immediately felt bad for getting pissed at her because I could see she was upset. “I’m sorry for being a bitch earlier.”
I shook my head. “You weren’t a bitch, I was being an asshole, again.”
“Yes, I was. Lauren’s been through so much lately with that stupid jerk Ryan and I don’t want her to get hurt anymore,” she admitted.
Just the mention of Lauren’s ex made my blood boil. Why it mattered to me, I wasn’t sure.
“And you… I feel like you’re not actually happy, you just pretend to be. I’m sorry for constantly pushing all those girls on you,” she reached out to take my hand, “but you’re Caleb’s best friend, and the closest thing I have to a brother, and I just want you to be happy,” she said with a sad smile.
I smiled back at her. “Don’t worry about me. I’m happy. Lauren and I had a lot of fun the other night, but I’m still not looking for a relationship.”
Our conversation halted for a few minutes while I ate my lunch, but I could feel her watching me. The sandwich Angie had chosen sat largely uneaten while she picked at her napkin, like she still had something on her mind.
“You know, it was the way you looked at her,” she said cryptically.
“Huh?”
“It was the way you stared at her. It’s the same look Caleb gives me.”
What was she talking about? Lauren was freaking gorgeous, but I don’t think it made a difference to how I looked at her. “I didn’t look at her differently than any other hot girl.”
This answer wasn’t enough to convince Angie, who looked at me and shook her head. “I think you’re kidding yourself, but I promise from now on I’m going to back off and let you enjoy your freedom. At least until you figure it out for yourself.” She winked at me and I felt the atmosphere between us return to normal.
I laughed and stood up to hug her and kiss the top of her head. “Thanks for caring, but I think I’ll be fine.”
We finished our lunch and went to our next class. I felt much better than I had that morning. Everything was back to normal, plus Angie was going to stop trying to set me up with her friends. Even though I was happy about that, there was part of me that didn’t want her to stop trying. Plus, I still wasn’t exactly sure what she’d meant when she said I was fooling myself.
I rubbed my eyes with my thumb and forefinger, deciding that I really didn’t want to analyze what that was all about, I just had to think about Thursday. Nick and I would be able to pick up any chicks we wanted and everything would go completely back to normal, or at least I hoped it would.
For the next few days, whenever I was on the main campus I would catch myself searching for Josh, not sure whether I wanted to see him or not. I’d never done anything like that in my life. Maybe it was because of Ryan didn’t really matter anymore. He had quickly become a distant memory as Josh infiltrated my thoughts. The difficult thing would be trying to move forward. I had to find a way to forget him, especially as it had been a one-time thing, something that Emily was kind enough to remind me of when I saw her on Tuesday. God that had been an awful conversation.
“What were you thinking?” Emily snapped the minute she walked up to me.
Rolling my eyes at her probably wasn’t my best idea. “Em—” I started to say before she cut me off.
“Don’t Em, me. I told you what would happen”
I really didn’t want to tell her that I slept with Josh. I didn’t need her judgment. “Nothing happened,” I told her, hoping she didn’t hear my voice wavering as I flat out lied to her.
“Nothing happened?! So, you didn’t sleep with Josh Saturday night?” she asked sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest and daring me to deny it.
Crap!
“Who said I slept with him?” I asked, trying to hide my panic.
Using her fingers, she started to list her reasons. “One, I can read it all over your face. Two, Josh told Angie when she confronted him about it.”
I groaned. This was all I needed. I looked down at my feet. “You’re right, something did happen.”
She didn’t say anything right away, which made me start to fidget.
“Look at me,” she commanded.
Slowly I lifted my eyes to hers, afraid of what she would see. I didn’t want her to see that I wanted Josh for more than one night. She studied me closely for a moment before grabbing me and pulling me into a hug. Damn it, she knew.
You fell for him didn’t you?” she said sympathetically.
Okay, not what I was expecting. I was waiting for a lecture about how stupid I was and how she’d warned me.
I sighed. “I think I did. I’ve never connected with anyone the way I did with him. He was so easy to talk to… oh, I don’t know.” I rubbed my temples with my fingers. “I knew what to expect… I just didn’t think I’d feel like this afterwards.”
“I know, but I wish you’d listened to me. You don’t need this right now.”
Now there was the Emily I knew and expected. “Yeah, I know. Morgan agreed with you. Actually she’s dragging me out on Thursday to help me “forget”, as she puts it.”
Her eyes lit up. “Oh, a night out! Does that mean I can tag along?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Sure, but I thought you made up with Andrew? Aren’t you meeting him at the Frat house?”
She shook her head. “Nah, he’s got some plans with Nick on Thursday. Who the hell knows, but we did make up.” She got a dreamy look in her eye. “He finally told me he loves me.”
“Oh, Em, that�
��s awesome.” And it was. I was genuinely happy for her. It was nice to see Emily like this for a change. “And absolutely come out with us. We’ll have a great time. What about Angie?”
All of the tension was forgotten as we chatted and made our way to class. “Probably not, they’re going to visit Caleb’s parents on Friday night for the weekend to discuss wedding plans. Actually, I’m glad they’re going for a visit. I think the more time he spends home, the faster he’ll heal.”
“All right then, it’s a date,” I said with a wink.
That had been two days ago, and I’d still made no progress on the whole “Forgetting Josh” plan. In some form of desperate, last-ditch attempt at moving forward, I was hoping I’d meet someone at the bar tonight to take my mind off of him. Morgan and Emily had decreed the Pixel Lounge the best venue for picking up hot talent and so we decided to try our luck there. Thankfully, Emily wasn’t here because Morgan had already vetoed three of my outfits. Apparently none of them were sexy enough.
When I came out of my room for the fourth time, she didn’t even say anything, she just pointed back to the bedroom. I turned around in a huff, practically stomping my feet. I had no idea what she wanted me to wear. Pulling off the red tank top, I looked through my closet and found a light blue tube top. This was it, I wasn’t putting on anything else, if she didn’t like, tough. Quickly, I pulled on the top and switched from skinny jeans to a white mini skirt. It was too cold for this, but I knew it would be hot inside.
We didn’t hit the Pixel Lounge that often, only really when we wanted to spend the night dancing. Most of the time we simply went to the bar where we could hang out, drink, and talk. Tonight, however, they were determined to dance, figuring that was the easiest way to pick up guys. I wasn’t going to argue because I needed a night out, it didn’t matter where it was.
I finished my makeup and added some jewelry to go along with the outfit and walked out into the living room.
Morgan jumped up from her seat and I saw Emily sitting next to her. She must’ve arrived while I was changing.
“That’s it, that’s the perfect outfit.” She clapped her hands together in her excitement.
“Hi, Em,” I said with a wave, afraid to get anywhere near Morgan in this wound up state she had going on. I turned to Morgan, “Now that I finally have an outfit that meets your approval, can we get going?” First up on the agenda was getting me a drink to calm my agitated nerves.
Emily and Morgan shared a look, before Morgan went to grab her keys. Emily wrapped her arm through mine and we started towards the car. “You look hot tonight, the guys are going to be all over you,” she said with a smirk.
I laughed. “I don’t need more guys. The last two have caused me nothing but trouble.”
She shook her head while laughing. “Having guys buy you drinks and dancing with them always makes everything better. Besides, I think Heather might meet us over there later.”
“Awesome, but right now I just need a drink to forget about the last week. Practice starts again next week, so I have to enjoy myself now,” I said.
“All right then, let’s make it count. We’ll make it a night good enough to hold you over until the season’s through,” she practically cheered.
Morgan finally caught up to us with her keys and we jumped in the car. The drive wasn’t long and before I knew it, we were seated at a table, drinks in our hand. Emily was right, hanging out with my friends while guys bought us drinks was pretty awesome. There was this one guy sitting at the bar who kept watching us and I was pretty sure most of the drinks had come from him. He was cute, and with blond hair and green eyes, he had that boy-next-door look going for him.
After about a half an hour he came over to our table. “Hello, ladies,” he said to the whole table with a smile. Emily started to giggle, most likely due to the fact that she’d already had a few drinks. Morgan was watching him with her mouth open. Since she was our driver for the night, she wasn’t drawing as much attention to herself as Emily was. He looked down at me and stuck his hand out. “Hi, I’m Doug.”
“Lauren.”
He smiled at me, and if the drinks weren’t messing with my head too much, I’d say he seemed a little nervous. “Nice to meet you, Lauren. I was actually wondering if you wanted to dance.”
It was adorable that he was nervous. Definitely boy-next-door material. “Sure,” I said getting up and heading to the dance floor with Doug following right behind me. Once we reached the dance floor, I turned to face him and he put his arm around my waist to draw me closer. From this position it was easier to see how attractive he really was. His hair was messy but stylish, and his eyes were the color of grass. But as hot as he was, I still didn’t feel like I did last weekend in Josh’s arms.
Damn, I was thinking about Josh again. Going out tonight was supposed to help me forget about him. I gave myself a mental shake and reminded myself that I was done worrying about Josh Walker. There were plenty of guys out there, and there was definitely one who would be worthy of me.
We danced for a few more songs, but it was getting hot and I wanted to get to know Doug a little better. There was no way we could talk so close to the DJ, so I leaned up to his ear and yelled over the music, “Did you want to go grab a drink?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I could use a drink.”
Thankfully the line at the bar was short so we didn’t have to wait long to order our drinks. “So Doug, are you a student at Ithaca?”
“No, actually I’m at Cornell.”
“Really?”
“You sound surprised.”
Unconsciously, I put my hand on his sleeve. “No, it’s just that I feel like even though the schools are so close I never really see anyone from the Cornell campus. For some reason everyone I meet is from Ithaca.”
“Well maybe you haven’t met the right people,” he said with a wink.
“Maybe not.”
The bartender brought over our drinks and Doug paid for them both. It was a small gesture, but it said a lot. Once we had everything we made our way back over to where Emily and Morgan were sitting. Unfortunately, they weren’t alone and it wasn’t Heather who had joined them. Really, could it get any worse?
Emily sat on Andrew’s lap and Nick was talking to Morgan. Scanning the table I didn’t see Josh with them, but I knew he couldn’t be far away. Looking around the room I spotted him on the dance floor with some blonde bombshell. He had his hands all over her. Thinking of where those hands had been the last time I’d seen him brought the blood rushing to my cheeks. So much for putting Josh out of my head. Even though I knew about his reputation when I’d gone home with him, it still hurt to see it in front of me.
I made it up to the table on shaking legs. So I didn’t seem completely obvious, I made sure to say hi to Andrew and Nick immediately. Emily was watching me for a reaction. “Hey guys, didn’t expect to see you here.”
Did she know they were going to be here? Why would she do that to me? She knew my goal was to forget about Josh.
“Yeah, we didn’t expect to see you guys either, but I’m so glad we did,” He smiled at Emily and ran his hand down her leg. “Hey, baby, you wanna dance.”
“Absolutely.”
Emily grabbed his hand and dragged him to the dance floor and I turned to Morgan and Nick so that I could introduce Doug. Using every ounce of willpower I possessed to ignore Josh’s presence, I gestured between Doug and Nick. “Nick, this is Doug, he’s a student at Cornell. Doug, this is Nick, he’s a friend of mine from school… and you met Morgan earlier tonight.
Nick reached his hand out. “Hey, man, nice to meet you. How do you know Lauren?”
“We just met tonight. We were dancing but it’s really hot out there so we came back for a drink,” I admitted.
Taking the empty seats at the table it was just my luck that they faced the dance floor. My stomach churned as I looked everywhere except the one place I wanted to be looking. Even though I’d had fun dancing with Doug, at this point I wa
nted him to go away. I was just trying to take my mind off Josh, not make him jealous. The fact that I was sitting next to a hot guy but couldn’t take my eyes off Josh pretty much meant that tonight was a waste of time and I was ready for Doug to go back to his friends.
But that didn’t look like it was going to happen any time soon. Doug and Nick were deep in conversation, while Morgan chipped in now and then. On the other hand I just sat… and watched Josh on the dance floor.
He either hadn’t realized I was there or he just didn’t give a damn. And why should he? I was just another conquest to him. The longer I watched the more I felt sick. She had her hands all over him and all it did was serve as a reminder of us dancing together last weekend. Even the way his hands held her hips and pulled her close was identical to the way his hands had run down my body last week.
Thoughts of Saturday night made my cheeks flush and I fanned myself with my hands, desperately hoping anyone who saw me would put it down to the temperature in the club. When the hot flushes were joined by a ringing in my ears, I knew I needed fresh air. I looked up and tried to catch Morgan’s eye.
“I need to get some air,” I said, watching for her reaction.
She glanced discreetly toward the dance floor for a moment before turning back to me. Leaning over, she whispered something in Nick’s ear before grabbing her purse and getting to her feet.
“I’ll come with you. You guys keep each other company,” she smiled, looping her arm through mine and leading us to the door.
Once we were outside she turned me to face her. “Are you all right?”
Afraid of what would happen if I tried to speak, I just nodded and focused on breathing. Slowly, I got my emotions under control. “I’m fine. I just really don’t want to be here anymore.”
She grabbed my hand. “We can’t leave. You need to show Josh that what happened between you mattered as little to you as it did to him.”
Redemption (Forgiven Series) Page 7
