This book was older. The pictures were different, for one thing—much more simplistic, which was good. Instead of the beautiful woman with all of her jewelry being delicately rendered in the arms of her four guardians, the picture of the Grand Quintet was more like a woodblock print that could have just been five gnomes having an orgy.
“This looks like an older version,” I said.
“Well, aren’t we in for a wild ride together,” he said, as he skimmed through the pages, pausing here and there. He read aloud, “‘No man was ever so devoted to a woman as the guardians to her priestess. Each one plays a different role, each as crucial as the next. A priestess without her full complement of guardians will survive, but she will be weakened. At the height of her powers, she will be deeply bonded with all of them, and they will have eyes for no woman but her…’” He lowered the book and looked at the window, even though it was blocked from the outside.
“It might be hard to accept at first,” I said, feeling super awkward. “I hope you don’t have a girlfriend or something…” I’d be so glad when I never had to go through this again.
“No woman but you, Phoebe? I wonder if you can keep up.” He flexed one of his hands, and suddenly he was holding dice. He rolled them onto the table. “Seven.” He snapped them up again.
“Is that good?”
“It means the gods have decided.” He leaned back again. “So, this means you are mine. Just…like…that.”
“Yes. And you are mine.”
He suddenly put his arms around me and pulled me onto his lap, facing outward, my legs straddling one of his. “I don’t belong to anyone.” His voice was a raspy, almost threatening whisper in my ear.
I remembered my first sense of this guardian. He didn’t trust anyone. And he smelled like the sea. I smelled it now, like it was a part of him and not just his surroundings. But it was different up close—a strange sort of sea. A sea with dark, warm water. For a moment, I saw it, crashing dark on a shore of red rocks.
“I don’t know where I came from,” he said, his voice close to my ear. “One day, I woke up in a forest outside the capital. I was a boy. I couldn’t remember anything. I had the clothes on my back, and a winged cat, and that was all. I had to—”
“You had a winged cat?” I interrupted.
“Her name was Astria…” His gloves gripped my waist tight, his fingertips digging into my skin. I should have been annoyed or something—Forrest and Gilbert were so much more careful with me. But instead I could feel myself getting wet between the legs and I hoped it didn’t soak through to his trousers. I could only imagine what he’d say or do if he felt my arousal.
“What happened to her?” I asked, summoning the image of Wretch into my mind. It calmed me.
“I think she must have died. One day she never came home. That was about ten years ago.”
“Was she a black cat?”
“Yes.”
Wretch? It seemed like quite a coincidence.
“All winged cats are black,” he said. “I suppose you’ve never seen one.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen one before… I was a Strawberry Girl. I’ve seen all kinds of things.”
“Oho,” he said.
Gilbert never mentioned he had known a winged cat before, but he must have seen Niko’s. He wanted to hide his past, so he told me nothing. I was reluctant to mention Wretch to Niko. I think I just didn’t want to admit I had lost her.
“I won’t argue with the gods,” he said. “But I will never belong to you. You wouldn’t want me to belong to you.” He opened the book and flipped to the page about the guardian of the sigil on my forehead. The priestess was on her knees with the guardian’s cock in her mouth.
I saw sentences written there that weren’t in my copy. The guardians Sillu and Kassu are distinctive because they bear the blood of the shadow world in their veins; they are the guardians of shadows. The priestess takes the seed of the guardians and gains power from the shadow world. This allows her to protect the people from the shadows, but she must guard against being dominated by her shadow guardians. The guidance of the Elders will aid her in keeping them under control.
I swallowed. “The shadow world…do they mean where the monsters come from? It doesn’t talk about that in my book.”
“Maybe we should listen to the most up to date copy, then,” he said. He plucked the book from my hands and tossed it aside.
“You’re not like the other guardians…”
“What you saw today—that isn’t me.”
“What was it? Do you know what you are?”
“I’m a man who has gained as much control of his own destiny as the gods allow,” he said. “And I will continue to do so. I’ll fulfill my duties with you, priestess—and I think I might enjoy it, too—but you’re going to forget about what you saw today, aren’t you?”
“I don’t think the book is asking me to forget,” I said, struggling to sound firm as he moved his hands from my waist and skimmed along my shoulders and upper arms instead. “It wants me to remember so I can guard against—whatever that was. But I won’t talk about it.”
“Good.” His voice was softer now. My body was super aware of his, of his fingers gracing my skin through his gloves, and the muscle of his leg under my own spread legs, and it was doing all kinds of weird, fluttery things to me.
But I was scared of him. I wasn’t scared of Forrest and Gilbert. My fear was tempered by the awareness that I had a hold on him, too. But it was still there, and I couldn’t relax.
“What comes next?” he asked. “You have to find one more guardian?”
“If I can… I’m not sure where he is. I don’t know if we’ll have time. I think we might just have to go straight to the Elders. They have to confirm us in the temple before we can go to the gate.”
“The Black Army watches over the Temple of Stones,” he said. “I’ll have to pull some strings to get us there safely. For now, I’ll show you your quarters,” he said, nudging me off his leg. He sounded normal again, almost easygoing, and the tension in my chest eased. I hadn’t realized how nervous I was. “I have a suite of private rooms where the others can stay near.”
“We’ve been sleeping outdoors,” I said. “Usually—Forrest and Gilbert trade off sleeping with me.”
“How polite of them,” he said. “Well, I think it’s going to get a little more interesting.”
Chapter Fourteen
I hated my stupid head.
I wanted to be pissed off at Niko. I should be, right? He wasn’t treating me the proper respect and deference due to a priestess! But for some stupid reason I was more excited to spend the night with him than anyone else. And I didn’t even like putting cocks in my mouth. I was hoping I could put the whole ‘taking the seed of the shadow world’ thing off and have something more like my first night with Sir Forrest.
Maybe even that was too much.
When I saw Sir Forrest walk in the door of our new quarters, my heart sang. It felt like coming home, to see his vaguely scowling face come in the door. Like, of all my guardians, somehow he was the one that had my heart.
But I was also more than just a heart.
They came in together, my three guardians and Rin included, and sat around the table where I had been trying to read (Niko had other books!) and mostly just getting distracted. Niko’s quarters consisted of five spacious rooms on the top floor of the building—the only rooms in the building with windows you could actually see out of. Thank goodness. From here, I could see the ships in the harbor and the ocean shining in the afternoon light. Inside, the room was furnished with the same sort of swank as downstairs. Boldly colored paintings in heavy gold frames, huge plush sofas with gold feet shaped like lion paws, vases brimming with flowers—oh, and a big canopy bed with heavy velvet curtains for privacy. Maybe too much privacy.
Forrest sat down in a chair with a heaviness to him like he was about to plan a battle. Gilbert sat more on the edge and laced his fingers on the table. Rin was beside
him, relaxed in comparison. Niko stayed standing, leaning against a nearby pillar with his arms crossed.
“So, here we are,” Forrest said. “Three guardians. Have you gotten any sense of the fourth one yet, Phoebe?”
“No. Not really,” I said, trying not to feel like a failure. “He’s not in the city. But I can’t tell what direction to go. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t feel bad,” Forrest said. “I think someone is trying to thwart us. It could be that the Black Army has gotten to him before us, and they’re concealing him from you. The question is, what do we do? If he’s already been captured, that means they probably know of your existence. If we attempt to save him, we might all be killed.”
“If we don’t save him, will we ever be strong enough to fight back against the entire empire?” Gilbert asked.
“He might be hurt and in danger,” I said.
“Yes…but I pledged to protect Phoebe at all costs,” Forrest said. “There is one thing that would almost certainly seal her death, and that would be revealing her existence and location to the empire. I think we’ve been very lucky to make it this far without further incident, and how far should we press our luck?”
“It’ll be hard enough to get into the temple,” Niko said. “And then, to make it all the way to the gate, past Forts Peri and Plan.”
“Well,” Rin said solemnly. “You know my wishes. If you go to the gate, I must stay here and try to rescue Himika on my own.”
Gilbert didn’t say anything at first. I knew he wanted to stay with Rin. “Phoebe should have the final say.”
“Phoebe isn’t always the most reliable gauge of danger,” Forrest said. “I’ll protect her from herself if I must.”
“Wait a minute, this is my very survival and the fate of the whole continent we’re talking about,” I said. “I’m not going to take a decision like that lightly.”
“Then, tell us what you think,” Forrest said.
“Um…”
Actually, I really didn’t want to make the decision at all. I just wanted to be taken seriously. I guess the problem with being taken seriously is that you have to do things. Damnit.
Niko broke the silence, scattering the dice on the table. “Ten…” he said. “I think we should exercise some patience.”
Sir Forrest looked up at him. “You’re telling me we should decide this based on a dice roll?”
“I could try and send a message to my fortune teller.”
“Oh, lord.” Forrest rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“I have my ear to the ground in this city,” Niko said, sweeping the dice up again. “I suggest a compromise. I’ll put out immediate inquiries. While we wait for the answer, I’ll also find out when we could sneak into the Temple of Stones—surely some of the guards are either sympathetic or open to bribery. If we haven’t gotten word of any strange prisoners the Empire might have picked up lately, we’ll move on.”
“I suppose we can try it your way,” Forrest said. “But you’d damn sure better be careful. I have a contact to Elder Dion. I’m going to go out and deliver her a message. Phoebe, come with me and I’ll get you that knife.”
I jumped out of my seat, glad to have gotten all this out of the way. “Yesss!”
Niko strolled out of the discussion, pouring himself another drink at a bar against the wall, and Gilbert was looking at Rin like he already missed him. “Stay safe,” he told us. So I guess no one minded if it was just me and Forrest? Cool.
“Should I change back into my boring clothes?” I asked him.
“No…leave the dress on. It suits the capital.”
It was a lot easier getting out of Niko’s place than getting in. The guards were all friendly to us now, and I didn’t even see the guy who threatened Gilbert earlier. Forrest was giving all the fancy furnishings the side-eye.
“I don’t know about this Niko guy,” he said. “Something about him…”
“Well, it’s probably the fact that he’s a smuggler,” I said, all casual. “Everything just has that shady vibe, you know.”
I really wanted to tell Forrest.
Niko almost changed into something else.
Niko scares me a little bit.
I think…Niko’s a monster.
But I promised I wouldn’t say anything, and Niko knew that Gilbert was a thief and Gilbert didn’t want Rin to know that, and it was all kind of a mess. And guardians couldn’t hurt me. That was what the book said. So I kept my mouth shut.
“You were all right alone with him?” he asked, as we walked down a narrow lane, making our way out of the rough neighborhood. Tall, skinny houses with multiple apartments were wedged together tight. We faced the back of them from here. Laundry was strung between them, over our heads. I could hear some screaming babies but I think most people were working. In the cities, poor kids worked as soon as they could rather than going to school.
“I was totally fine.”
“Has he…have you touched?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I elbowed Forrest. “You’ve got to stop being so jealous. You want me to be a good priestess, don’t you?”
“No,” he said, with a faint laugh. Then he thrust his hands in his pockets. “I want to take you somewhere tonight.”
“Ooh…like a date?” That sounded awesome, actually. If I had to be with four men, I should get four times the dates, right? So far it had been zero dates. It definitely didn’t count as a date if it involved sleeping on the ground, eating porridge, or fighting something.
He nodded a little. “Indulge me, will you? I do know what my duties are. And yours. And I do want you to be a good priestess. But—my great-grandmother lives in this city, and I wondered if, just for tonight, you would be my wife? She’s an old lady. I’m afraid all of this would only upset her, and let’s face it, she won’t be around much longer anyway.”
“I’m impressed you still have a living great-grandmother,” I said.
“My family lives a long time, if we don’t get ourselves killed.”
“I didn’t think you grew up in Capamere.”
“I didn’t. The family was split. Her first son stayed here and was killed in the army, while her second son—my grandfather—went south to Bastel to open a restaurant. For obvious reasons, I had an affinity for the other part of the family, because they’re the military branch. So when I came to Capamere, I found my great-grandmother. She also works in a restaurant, and that’s where I’m taking you tonight.”
“Your family works in restaurants and your bean soup just tastes like…beans?”
He shrugged. “I told you, I took after my great-uncle… And I don’t need to learn now. You’ve certainly been stuffing enough greens into everything I make, and then there’s Gilbert with his sweated onions…”
“Not mere greens. Herbs! They’ll keep you strong.” Not that he needed it. He was already so strong, the strongest of all my guardians. Niko might have been more my type on the surface, but there was a dark, rugged beauty to Forrest and I truly believed he would die for me without a moment’s hesitation. I didn’t feel that way about the other two, at least, not yet. I looked at him shyly, as we walked along together. We’d been alone together often enough before, but it felt different now.
A second later, he put his hand around mine. Emboldened, I walked closer to him, and then I briefly put my head against his arm.
“Phoebe…”
He stopped and pulled me against him, into a warm embrace. He clutched me so tight, I could feel how much I meant to him. He kissed my forehead, which was certainly easier for him to reach, and I lifted myself on my tiptoes to meet his mouth. Oh, I missed the taste of him. It was like nothing else. I slid my palm and fingers along the stubble that was starting to verge toward an actual beard, roughly tickling my tender skin.
When we pulled back, I realized I had a goofy smile on my face. I wiped it off, because he wasn’t smiling. I mean, who am I kidding, Forrest never smiled for real. He always looked at me like he was tortured by
our relationship and maybe like he could see every horrible thing that might happen in the future.
Really romantic, I know. But I sort of felt like he was taking on that burden so I didn’t have to.
He took my hand again and we kept walking, still staying far from the center of town and off the main streets. He stopped in front of a nondescript shoe repair shop and knocked on the worn wooden door. There was a little hinged door at the bottom with a sign that said “Shoe Drop Off”.
Someone knocked back in a pattern. Knock-knock-knock…knock-knock…knock.
Sir Forrest opened the hinged door and dropped a letter in. He took my hand again, moving on.
“That’s for Elder Dion?” I asked.
“Shh.”
“Sorry. I mean, the street is totally empty.”
“You can never be too careful. Yes, I’m just letting him know we’ve arrived. With luck, he’ll send a message back to Niko’s. I’m curious to know his opinion on how we should proceed.”
“I don’t want to think about that tonight,” I said. My heart rate shot up whenever I thought about giving up on the fourth guardian and trying to sneak into the Palace of Stones. As if that wasn’t scary enough, if we succeeded, that meant we had to turn around and head back the way we’d came, and then head deep into the mountain caves where the gate was. Past the forts, past hoards of monsters…
I realized I was hyperventilating.
“It’s all right,” Forrest said. “We’re getting stronger every day.”
“Well, I haven’t seen anyone cast spells that can fell armies yet like in the book. Not even close.”
“We don’t have a sorcerer,” Sir Forrest said. “Then again, I don’t know what Niko does…” He shrugged. “You’re right. We won’t think about it tonight.”
We walked for another couple of blocks down a street lined with little markets and restaurants. They weren’t anything too fancy, but the neighborhood seemed to be hopping with workers coming home from day shifts, getting dinner or buying produce. Lots of young couples were strolling around holding hands, just like me and Forrest.
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