by Lili Valente
Even if he yelled at her or shut down and pushed her away as punishment, it would be better than the disconnect of the past week.
“Tell me everything,” he said, the muscle leaping in his jaw the only outward sign of the stress he must be feeling. “Don’t leave anything out, even if it seems like something small.”
Hannah set her water on the side table near the lamp and took a bracing breath. “Harley and I were locked in a room at your father’s house. She thought she was going to die, so she asked me to promise to take care of Jasper, her son, and love him like he was my own. I didn’t find out much about him except that he’s five and getting ready to go into kindergarten this coming year.”
Jackson nodded, but his expression remained emotionless. “So the timeline is right for him to be mine. But I know she was sleeping with at least one other person that summer.”
“Right,” Hannah agreed, her stomach cramping. “Your friend. And there could have been others. Harley wasn’t a big fan of monogamy back then.” She tucked her thumbs inside her rolled fingers, resisting the urge to nibble the rough edge of her cuticle the way she did when she was nervous as a child. “I should have asked her who the father was, but I was too busy trying to figure out a way to get out before Adam or Ian came back.”
“As you should have been,” Jackson said. “Your safety is the most important thing.”
Hannah dropped her gaze to the dark jewel tones of the carpet. “But if I’d asked, then I wouldn’t have hired Dominic to spy for me or stolen your hair from your pillow while you slept.”
Jackson sighed. “For a DNA test I assume?”
Hannah kept her eyes focused on the floor. “Dominic found Harley and Jasper yesterday. They’re in Thailand. He’s hoping to have samples of Jasper’s hair soon and the test results not long after.”
“And you’ve been worried that I would try to take the boy away from Harley. If it turns out he’s mine.”
“Not consciously,” she said, shoulders hunching. “I didn’t realize I was worried about that until it just…came out.”
He grunted softly. “And I thought you were pushing me away because you’d put so much trust in me and I’d betrayed it by going and getting myself shot.”
Hannah glanced up sharply. “No, I… It has nothing to do with that, Jackson.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, searching her face. “I imagine it would be scary to submit to someone and then have them prove they’re not as strong as you thought they were.”
“You were shot. That has nothing to do with strength or a lack of it,” she said, wanting to reach out to him, but sensing he wasn’t ready to be touched. “And I didn’t mean to push you away. I just couldn’t be the way we are together and keep a secret from you at the same time.”
“No, you can’t,” he said. “I can’t either. Trust is important in any relationship, but for us it’s going to be critical. This is only going to work if we’re honest with each other. Even when it hurts.”
She nodded, pressing her lips together and fighting the tears trying to rise in her eyes. “I know. And I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right. I’m not in a place to judge,” he said, running his good hand through his hair, which looked even silkier and shinier away from the island humidity. “I’ve been keeping something from you, too. Something your aunt told me when she learned you’d been taken.”
Hannah sat motionless as Jackson briefly outlined Sybil’s suspicions, absorbing the news that her father might have hired Ian to kill his brothers with less shock than she would have expected. But then, she’d sensed he’d done something horrible, something so dark and terrible that he would never be able to find the other side of it.
“I didn’t want you to have to live with that,” Jackson continued. “I didn’t want you to wonder if there was some part of you—no matter how small—that was like him.”
Hannah blinked, shocked by the ping of recognition deep inside of her. “I probably wouldn’t have thought of that, at least not at first. But you’re right. I will wonder. I guess a part of me already has been.”
She bit her lip as she shook her head slowly back and forth. “I’ve changed so much in the past few months, but it hasn’t really felt like change. It’s felt like the real me, the person I kept hidden for so long, finally stepped out into the light and sometimes…” Hannah hesitated, but then forced herself to push on, knowing if anyone would understand her fears it would be Jackson. “Sometimes that person scares me.”
He reached out, taking her hand. Energy hummed from his body to hers, filling her with the certainty that she wasn’t alone.
“She shouldn’t scare you,” he said. “I love her. Even when she makes mistakes.”
Hannah’s mouth trembled. “But I killed a man. And I didn’t…I don’t feel bad about it. I really don’t.”
“We killed a man,” he corrected. “And you shouldn’t feel bad about it. It had to be done. There’s a reason my mother hasn’t reported him missing or called the authorities, Hannah. My father was a monster who had nothing left to offer the world but more violence and suffering.” He squeezed her hand. “Regretting ending his life is a waste of energy you could be using to not keep secrets from me.”
Her lips quirked at the edges before settling back into an uncertain line. “What are you going to do? About Jasper?”
“I don’t know,” he said with an openness that surprised her. “I’ll wait until we know if the boy is mine and if he is… We’ll decide what to do then.”
“We?” she asked, brows lifting. “So you’re not angry with me?”
“No,” he said, before adding in a drier tone, “I’d prefer nothing like this happens again, but I’m just glad to get to the bottom of it. I’ve hated the distance the past few days. You’ve felt…out of reach, and I didn’t like it.”
“Me either.” Hannah slid to her knees in front of him, bringing her palms to rest lightly on his thighs. “If you still want me naked and kneeling, I’m ready.”
He cupped her cheek. “To be honest, I’d rather make love than play. It seems like that’s the side of us that needs attention right now.” He grimaced lightly. “And though I hate to admit that you’re right, after dragging you around my chest hurts like hell.”
“Well, you were right, too.” She turned her head, pressing a kiss to his palm. “I needed you to push me. If I hadn’t needed it, I would have said my safe word.” She curled her fingers into the thick muscles of his thighs, skin prickling as his fingertips traced a trail down her throat. “But that scares me sometimes, too. The way you seem to know me better than I know myself.”
“I don’t. I’ve just had more experience with power exchange.”
“It’s not just that.” She dropped her head back, staring up into his beautiful face as he clasped the zipper holding her sweater closed and dragged it slowly down. “When my head feels clear, I love the game. I crave it and don’t feel like I’ve gotten close enough to you if we go without it for too long,” she said, voice breathy from a combination of longing and the prickle of fear inspired by being so vulnerable, even with someone she knew she could trust with her most breakable parts.
“But when you bring out things in me that I didn’t even know were there,” she continued, “it can start to feel like I’m out of control in a bad way. Does that make sense?”
“It does.” He pushed her sweater off one shoulder and then the other.
Hannah caught her sleeves with opposite fingers, tugging the cozy knit down until it fell to the floor, leaving her in nothing but her camisole. Immediately, her nipples puckered, the combination of the cool air in the cabin and Jackson’s fingertip slipping beneath one strap enough to make her nerve endings spark violently to life.
“But that just means we’ve reached territory we haven’t explored before,” Jackson continued, finger teasing up and down the length of her strap without easing it off her shoulder. “It’s unfamiliar, but it doesn’t have to be scary.”
“I care for everything about you.” His hand stilled as he held her gaze. “I care for the little girl you were, the woman you are, and the person you’re going to become. When I said forever, I meant it. I don’t make those kinds of promises lightly.”
His warm fingers slipped down the front of her shirt, capturing her nipple and rolling it gently, but his eyes remained glued to hers, heightening the intimacy of the electric touch. “Tonight I’m going to prove that by making love to you until you understand that there is nothing I want more in the world than to be close to you. And tomorrow, I’ll prove it by showing you that I can handle anything and everything you need to give me. How does that sound?”
“It sounds perfect.” Hannah swallowed, fighting back another wave of tears. But they were grateful tears this time, the tears of a woman who was loved exactly the way she needed to be loved—sweet and gentle, hard and ruthless, coaxing and demanding, and everything in between.
“Now take off the rest of your clothes,” he said, leaning in to kiss her forehead, his breath warm on her skin. “It feels like forever since I’ve seen you.”
Knees already weaker, Hannah stood, studying Jackson’s face as she unbuttoned her jeans and pushed them down to the floor. Her socks came next, then her camisole, and finally her panties. She hooked her thumbs at the sides of the lacy fabric, drawing them slowly down her hips and thighs until she reached the place where a gentle shimmy of her legs sent them slipping down her calves to fall at her feet.
The entire time, Jackson watched her, his eyes filling with a mixture of hunger and tenderness that made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. By the time she finished her brief striptease, she was wet and aching, so eager to be joined with him that she hoped he wouldn’t delay their gratification for too long.
There were times when she craved teasing and a slow spiral out of control. But there were times when she simply needed to be as close as she could get to the man she loved, this dangerous man whose arms had become the only place where she felt safe.
Once, not long ago, she had been afraid of what Jackson would do next. Now, the only thing she feared was that, for some reason, she might not be around to see it.
Or that someone would take him away from her before she had time to love him in all the ways—and for all the years—she wanted to love him.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Jackson
Jackson’s breath caught and his fingers flexed restlessly at his sides, torn between reaching for Hannah and taking another moment to drink in how beautiful she looked.
“Maybe you were right about the other, too.” Her tongue slipped out to dampen her lips as he did his best to memorize the way her skin glowed in the cool winter light filling the room. “Looking at a man like you, the last thing I used to think about was death. But now, I do. I think about death, and how quickly it can take away everything that matters.”
“I think about that, too.” Jackson stood, encircling her waist with his good arm, ignoring the dull pain throbbing through his bum shoulder as he hugged her close. “I thought about it the entire flight across the ocean to Florida, hating myself for failing to keep you safe and worrying that I’d waited too long to tell you the way I feel.”
He leaned down, inhaling the smoke and winter smells lingering in her hair, an ache filling his chest that had nothing to do with his gunshot wound. But it was a sweet discomfort, the increasingly familiar pain of his heart stretching wider, making room to love her more.
“I promised myself if I got a second chance, I wouldn’t hold anything back,” he continued, hugging her closer, wishing he could draw her so close that nothing—not even death—could ever pull them apart. “I can’t say with any certainty what happens after this life, but if energy can neither be created nor destroyed, neither can love like this.”
She tipped her head back, tears filling her eyes even as she smiled that wide, nothing-to-hide smile he’d missed so much. “I would never have imagined the first law of thermodynamics could be so romantic.”
“It isn’t romantic; it’s the truth,” he said, hand slipping down to mold to the bare curve of her bottom. “Some part of me has always loved you. And some part of me, the best part, always will.”
Hannah blinked fast, her throat working as she reached up to take his face in her hands. “What did I do to deserve you?”
His lips curved in a wry smile. “Nothing. Or everything, depending on which me we’re talking about.”
“There’s only one you,” she said with a confidence that made him believe he would continue to put the darkest hours of his life behind him. “And I love him and I need to take his clothes off as soon as possible.”
His smiled widened. “Immediately works for me.”
Hannah reached for the strap on his sling as he thumbed open the close of his jeans. A few moments later, she was back in his arms, her skin cool against the burning length of his cock as they backed toward the couch. She arched her hips as they moved, rubbing against his erection, making him groan as his lips found hers and his tongue pushed inside.
He needed to be inside her so desperately his balls felt bruised and tender, but he needed to kiss her everywhere first. He needed to claim her mouth, taste the honey and musk of the skin beneath her breasts, plunge his tongue into the slickness between her legs until he could feel her pussy pulsing around him, flooding his mouth with evidence of her desire. He needed to make love to the backs of her knees and the small of her back and the place at the base of her neck that made her melt when he trapped it between his teeth and bit down.
“Sit,” Hannah murmured against his lips as the back of his knees hit the couch. “Let me do the work so you don’t have to put weight on your arm.”
“This isn’t work. This is all I’ve been able to think about lying next to you every night,” Jackson said, but he allowed his weight to settle back onto the cool leather cushions, the thought of watching Hannah ride him too tempting to resist.
His cock jerked as she straddled him and his tip began to leak, but when she reached down to guide him inside her, he gripped her wrist and pushed her hand away.
“Not yet,” he said, cupping her breasts in his hands. “I need to kiss you here first.”
“Be careful,” she said, breath catching as his thumbs brushed across her tight nipples. “The doctor said you shouldn’t use that arm except when you’re working on the physical therapy exercises.”
“This is physical therapy.” He drew his tongue across her nipple, moaning as the singular taste of her skin filled his mouth.
“Seriously, Jackson, I don’t—” Her words became a gasp as he sucked her deeper, trapping her taut flesh between his teeth before flicking his tongue back and forth until she squirmed on his lap.
“Oh, God. God, Jackson.” She threaded her fingers into his hair, holding on tight as he tortured her sensitive skin. “I’ve missed you. So much.”
He transferred his attention to her other breast, shifting his leg until it was wedged between her thighs. Her hips undulated as she rubbed against him, riding his leg until her slickness coated his skin and his balls began to pulse with a heartbeat of their own.
Her breath grew faster and more erratic, her arms trembling as her fingernails dug into the skin at the back of his neck, sending a hot knife of pain through his pleasure, giving him the strength to draw out the anticipation for a little longer.
“Now your mouth,” he said, continuing to tease her slick nipples with his fingers as he tilted his head back. “Give me your mouth.”
Hannah leaned in, her lips parted as if she knew he meant to do something much more thorough than simply kiss her. And he did. He was going to show her who her mouth belonged to.
Her lips, her teeth, her tongue—they were all his. Every inch of her was his and he meant to make sure she knew it.
He drove his to
ngue into her warm, wet heat, fucking her mouth with the thick muscle, plunging in deep and hard until she had no choice but to relax her throat and open for him. She groaned, the sound vibrating their lips as he stroked deeper, his tongue dancing with hers as his grip pulsed on her nipples, pinching her skin between his fingers a little harder each time, until she was bucking into his leg.
Finally, she ripped her mouth from his with a gasp. “I’m going to come, Jackson. I can’t stop it, I can’t.”
“Wait,” he ordered, gritting his jaw as he reached down, squeezing her hip tight with one hand while he positioned his cock with the other. “Wait until I’m inside you.”
“Yes, please.” She bit her lip, whimpering as he guided his engorged head back and forth through her slick, swollen folds, unable to resist a few more seconds of sweet torture. “Please, Jackson. Please!”
“Not yet, wait for me,” he said, circling her clit with his leaking tip though his balls were suffering and he wanted to be inside her more than he’d ever wanted anything.
But he wanted them both even closer to losing control, so close that the razor edge of their desire would cut away everything that stood between them. “Wait, Hannah. Wait for me.”
She made a sound that was half growl and half plea for mercy but held still, waiting for him to give her permission to move.
“Look at me,” he said, needing to look into her eyes as she tumbled over. “Now, sweetness. Ride me now.”
With a sob of relief, Hannah spread her thighs and dropped her hips, taking him deep, deep, deeper, until he was clutched in her heat, feeling her inner muscles squeeze tight around him.
But she didn’t come. She bit her lip and held his gaze as she bent her knees and hooked her feet around the inside of his knees, giving her more control over the length and duration of her thrusts as she began to slide up and down him, fucking him with a slow, languid rhythm that scattered the coals threatening to burst into flames within him.
