And how his heart had whispered that she wanted him.
Pity hadn’t brought her to him.
It had been her instincts as his fated female.
And maybe, just maybe, it had been something more than that too.
That something had him pulling his shit together, getting cleaned up and dressed in a pair of black jeans and a t-shirt, and shoving his feet into his boots. He was damned if he was going to sit at his cabin licking his wounds, acting like a fucking weak cub, when there were fights due to start soon.
One of which was over Ember.
He needed to be there. Not only to save some face by showing the pride he was still going to do his duty, that he was still worth something and wasn’t a total screw up, but because he needed to hear her mother deny the winner.
He would go insane if he didn’t witness the outcome of the fight, would spend the night thinking about Ember with one of the males, and gods, it would probably destroy what was left of him. It would probably send him out into the darkness to kill.
Cobalt prowled through the forest, using the main route rather than the river, trying to keep his distance from Ember as he slowly clawed back some control. When he entered the clearing, Rath looked over his left shoulder at him and he could sense his brother’s surprise to see him at the fights.
He could feel Ember’s eyes on him too, didn’t need to look in her direction to know she was standing on the deck of her cabin, and she wasn’t happy about something.
That made him want to go to her so he could discover the source of her unhappiness, but she wasn’t the only one staring.
Half the creek had gathered to watch this evening’s fights, and most of them were now looking his way.
Their wariness ran through him like an undercurrent, making him itch with a need to turn tail and leave, but he kept marching forwards, not stopping until he was stood beside Flint and Rath where they formed part of the ring that surrounded the pair of males currently battling for the right to ease one of the females in the crowd. He wasn’t sure which one and he didn’t care.
There was only one female who mattered to him.
He tried to stop them, tried to keep his focus locked on the fight and overseeing it, but his eyes roamed to her and lightning crashed through his veins as he met her gaze.
It struck his heart and lit it up with a thousand volts as he realised some of her sombreness had lifted, was lifting as she looked at him.
Cobalt told himself to look away, but he couldn’t convince himself to do it. He didn’t care if someone saw him looking at her. He didn’t give a fuck if it was wrong of him, if it went against his duty or made the pride hate him all the more. All he cared about was alleviating Ember’s sadness. If he could do that by looking at her, then he would never stop.
He would look at her forever if she let him.
A hint of rose swept across her cheeks, a blush he wanted to press his lips to and feel the heat of against them as he whispered to her that he might not have money, he might have lost his business, and his standing in the pride wasn’t worth shit, but he had two things he could offer her, if she would only be his.
His heart.
And a love he knew would last forever.
CHAPTER 6
Heat climbed Ember’s cheeks whenever she allowed her focus to slip, images flooding her mind that set her body on fire.
Halfway back to her cabin, she had found the piece of courage she had been missing and had turned around, intending to say what was in her heart, to spill it all to Cobalt and see what happened.
When she had neared the edge of the woods, the sight of Cobalt stood on the deck, his strong hand stroking himself, had set her feet in concrete and she had only been able to stare.
The fire that had swept through her like an inferno had urged her to go to him as he had touched himself, to run a trembling hand over his and ease it away from him only to replace it with her own.
She had been mesmerised though, bewitched by her first sight of a male lost to pleasure, and only the sound of a word falling from his lips in a gruff, near-desperate tone, had shaken her from her wicked reverie.
It had been a name.
Hers.
The confirmation that he wanted her and the thought that he must have fought to hold himself back the entire time she had been around him had torn her in two directions, part of her thrilled to finally know he desired her and the rest of her furious with him for acting as if he didn’t.
For resisting her when she was finding it increasingly impossible to resist him.
She had come close to confronting him, but her sensitive ears had picked up on the sound of people walking through the trees and talk of the time, and she had forced herself to return home instead, her feet like lead as they had carried her away from Cobalt and her thoughts weighing her down as her mother had berated her about being late.
She hadn’t answered her mother’s demands to know where she had been, had made her excuses and gone to her room, wanting to be alone with her thoughts.
She hadn’t had much of a chance to mull over what she had discovered. She had barely sat on the chair in the corner of her bedroom before her mother had been knocking on the door and announcing the fights were about to begin.
Ember’s stomach had turned at that.
She had no interest in them, not the one that was over another female and definitely not the one that was over her.
She stared at the males who were clawing and punching each other in the makeshift ring, not seeing them as she tried to figure everything out and find a way to make Cobalt see that they belonged together.
He wanted her, and she wanted him.
What else was needed?
They had been made for each other, and her love for him was endless, would stand any test or trial. It was unconditional. She didn’t care about his past, and she would do all in her power to help him in his future, if only he would have her.
She glanced towards his cabin, a furtive one she hoped no one noticed as her cheeks flushed again, that image of him pleasuring himself as he thought about her branded on her mind. Heat flared inside her, had her aching all over again, restless with need as she debated just leaving the gathering and going to him.
If she made the first move, perhaps he wouldn’t fight her. He might welcome her. Gods, he might need her to do it. Something was holding him back. Was it because his pride had taken a beating?
Ember shifted her focus to Rath, a need to speak with him filling her. If anyone knew what had happened to Cobalt’s business and why he was feeling so low, had such a poor opinion of himself, it was his brother.
It was Cobalt too.
Was it better to talk to him about it? Would it help him to speak with her, to get it all off his chest and share it with someone other than his family? She wanted to ease him and set his mind at rest, to give him peace again, and she was sure she could do that if only he would speak with her.
Ember eased back a step and stopped when she sensed Cobalt.
She had to be wrong, convinced herself of it as she scanned the gathered and didn’t spot him. Her need to see him was playing tricks on her. She doubted he would come to the clearing tonight, when he was so troubled.
Rath looked over his left shoulder, the dark slashes of his eyebrows meeting in a confused way a split second before his expression gained a soft, surprised and almost satisfied edge.
She followed the direction of his gaze and surprise rippled through her too.
Cobalt strode across the grass from the path that led to the cabins situated on his side of the creek, his grey gaze locked on his brother and his expression unreadable.
He was calmer though.
She could sense it in him, and it offered her comfort and soothed her worries as she looked at him.
He came to stand beside his brothers, Flint and Rath, a contrast to their dark hair and more slender builds. His blond hair was tousled, even the shorter sides spiked in places from him running
his fingers through it, and his grey eyes were guarded as Rath said something to him and he didn’t respond.
Those eyes slid her way as she stared at him, and for once, she refused to look away. She swore they softened as he gazed into her eyes across the ring, and she shivered as his focus settled on her, setting her nerve endings alight and awakening the ache for him that seemed like a permanent part of her now.
Ember held his gaze, tired of hiding her desire to look at him, to absorb his beauty and ruggedness, and that alluring hint of darkness that surrounded him like an aura, made him stand out from his brothers and every male at the creek.
She was tempted to mouth words at him, to ask whether he was alright.
Her mother moved and huffed, “Well, now that waste of time is over…”
Ember tuned back into the fights, a ripple of panic rushing through her as she realised the first one was over and the victor was walking away with the female.
Her pulse drummed faster, palms turning cold and clammy as she flicked a glance between the two males now stepping into the ring and stripping off their shirts.
Cobalt’s gaze drilled into her, steady and strangely soothing, giving her something solid to hold on to as the fight started and fear gripped her, terror that this time her mother might give her consent to the winner.
She almost cried out when he turned his eyes away from her, settling them on the fight, but she could feel his focus was still on her, was locked and unbreakable as the males fought in front of him.
Battling for the right to her.
A right only he deserved.
She couldn’t watch as the two males tore at each other, grunting and snarling, spilling blood that filled the cool night air with the acrid scent of copper.
She closed her eyes as fear got the better of her, one of the males losing his grip and giving the other an opening he was swift to take, landing two fierce blows on the male’s face and sending him down.
A shiver tripped through her, a million volts lighting her up inside as Cobalt’s eyes landed on her again, and suddenly she was deeply aware of him.
Her body instantly responded, heat flaring and need rising, and she lifted her head and opened her eyes, fixed them on him as he stared at her. She couldn’t take her eyes off him as she trembled with the need he stirred in her, desires so powerful she shook under the onslaught, felt as if she might lose control at any second and feared she would launch herself at him if she did.
The hunger in his gaze had her need flaring hotter, an ache starting between her thighs and in her breasts.
His eyes darkened, the desire that had been flooding them transforming into something more dangerous as he lowered them to a point on her right.
Ember shook off the hunger he had roused in her and looked there, and frowned at the sweating, panting black-haired male before her. His golden eyes were bright as he stared up at her, but the desire in them only left her cold, and the sight of him covered in blood and bruises only turned her stomach.
“Andre is the oldest male in the Petrowski bloodline,” her mother said as the panting male braced his hands against his hips and stood a little straighter, a flicker of pride lighting his eyes now. They held a hint of nerves too as her mother continued, fear every male who had stood before her, the victor of a fight over her, had revealed as they waited to hear her mother’s opinion. “He is in possession of one of the largest cattle ranches in Montana now his father has passed.”
Ember didn’t really listen as her mother continued. She just waited for the usual formalities to be over with and for her mother to announce that Andre wasn’t worthy of her, as she had with all the other males, so she could get on with the evening and escape the madness for another day.
So when her mother spoke, she barely paid attention to her.
“It’s a good match.”
The anger that burned through her had her tuning into what her mother had announced, anger that stemmed not from herself but from Cobalt. She felt his gaze drilling into her, and then he was walking away, was disappearing into the woods to her right by the time her eyes reached him.
Perhaps the anger pouring through her wasn’t only Cobalt’s because it flamed hotter as she looked at her mother, took in the proud smile on her face and realised for the first time that her mother valued a good name and money more than she valued her own daughter’s happiness.
Ember turned on Andre.
Looked him right in the eyes.
“I’m not interested.”
Shock swept through the crowd, a murmur that grew in volume as Andre stared at her and her mother spoke.
“Now wait a minute.”
Ember didn’t. She whirled on her heel, stalked into the cabin, and slammed the door behind her, her heart thundering in her breast. She paced the room that suddenly felt too small, shaking her hands to stop them from trembling as she tried to figure out what to do.
Cobalt thought she was going to sleep with another male. She had to do something.
She had to speak with him.
She glanced at the door, intending to focus on the world outside to see if everyone was still there, to see whether escape was possible.
Her mother stood on the threshold.
“Ember, go back outside to Andre right this minute.”
“No.” Ember shook her head so violently the end of her French braid smacked the side of her neck. She clenched her fists at her sides, sucked down a steadying breath and shook her head again. “No, I won’t. I didn’t come here to be paraded in front of males… I didn’t come here to let someone I don’t even want see to my needs. I definitely didn’t come here to let you use me to elevate the name of our family… our position and our damned wealth.”
Her mother’s mouth flapped open and closed, and the surprise that crossed the features that so closely matched Ember’s own quickly turned to anger.
“Now, listen—”
“No,” Ember snapped. “You listen. I’m not a possession. You can’t just push me at a male you choose and expect me to accept it. I’m sick of it. I wish I never came. I should never have come here… no… I should have but I should have come here alone, without you. I’m a grown female, and perfectly capable of making my own fucking decisions… and if you can’t accept that… then we’re done.”
Her mother’s grey eyes widened, gaining a glimmer of gold around the edges of her irises, and Ember wasn’t going to stick around for the fireworks that would happen when her mother’s temper exploded.
She kicked off, shoving past her, and stripped her clothes off as she sprinted towards the creek.
The shift was quick to come as she crossed the river.
And as she melted into the darkness and her mother’s furious growl echoed in the night, something inside her shattered.
Because she had just risked everything.
And there was a chance it was for nothing.
CHAPTER 7
The morning air chilled her fur, the gentle breeze sweeping up from the valley far below ruffling the golden hair, tinged with a slight metallic scent of snow as it swirled around her.
From her perch high up on the mountain, she surveyed the world, watching as it changed, the colours shifting as the sun came closer to breaking the horizon ahead of her, beyond the glacier that nestled between the two tallest peaks in the valley.
The sky began to lighten, the shadows that clung to the mountains and forests fading as the sun drove the night back.
Ember breathed easier as she lost herself in the beauty of it, finally starting to forget the reason she had come to this spot last night as her cougar form helped subdue her more human emotions.
The anger was still a raw burn in her gut, and her heart, but the pain began to fade in time with the darkness as the sun edged above the horizon to bathe the world in pure golden light.
Soon, her hurt and her feelings would fade enough that she could shift back without fear of them overwhelming her again.
She shifted on he
r paws and then settled, curling her sleek body so her hind legs were twisted beside her. She stretched them out on the flat rock that formed an entrance to the cave where she had spent the night, pacing furiously, filled with a need to run.
Ember chuffed and rested her chin on her front paws, her eyes never leaving the sunrise.
She had wanted to run straight to Cobalt, but had ended up at this spot instead.
It was her favourite one.
She had come here countless times in the past, whenever she needed to be alone, whenever that ache for quiet and solitude became too much. Or whenever she needed to clear her head.
Her instincts had torn her between hunting her mate and seeking respite from the world in this place she had trained her animal side to seek whenever she was hurting. The need to be alone, to let go of her pain and push the world away, had been strongest, overpowering the urge to seek out Cobalt.
She wasn’t sure what to do now.
Part of her wanted to apologise to her mother, hated the idea of pushing away the only family she had, but the rest of her wanted to tell her to go to Hell. She bared her fangs, hissed out her frustration and wriggled, the confusion and irritation returning to make her restless again.
She loved her mother, but fucking gods, she hated her meddling.
Maybe after her explosive confrontation last night it would no longer be a problem.
She had made her point, and it had been painfully clear. Or at least she felt it was. There was a chance her mother would see it as just a tantrum, an outburst that had been caused by the heat of the moment, and when she returned, nothing would have changed.
Ember pushed thoughts of her mother and their fight away as the sun crept higher.
Beautiful warm light chased across the valley, catching on the snow-laden peaks and the dense green pines that swathed the valley floor. It glinted off the river, revealing the ribbon of it that snaked through the forest.
Craved by her Cougar (Cougar Creek Mates Shifter Romance Series Book 4) Page 7
