He rubbed his temple against her cheek, kissed her jaw and clutched her a little closer.
She could feel the tension in him mounting, the war she had ignited in him raging as he held her and rubbed her, peppered her cheek with kisses and loosed quiet growls.
Just as she was about to tell him to put her down and that it had been wrong of her to ask him, to rush him, he finally spoke.
“You really want this?” He drew back, his motions stiff, as if it had been difficult to place even that tiny distance between their skin.
His eyes searched hers. Scoured them.
Ember lifted her hands and framed his face, looked at him with clear eyes and a hopeful heart, one that was filled with love for him.
She answered the question he was really asking.
“I really want you, Cobalt. It’s always been you.”
His face twisted, a touch of agony flashing across it, and then his mouth was on hers again.
“I’ll stop if I… or you stop me… you got that? You stop me if I do anything that scares you.” A mirthless chuckle broke from his lips as he uttered, “Fuck, I don’t think I’d have the strength to stop myself. I want you too much, Ember. I need you too much. It’s always been you for me too.”
He tensed on saying that, a ripple of fear going through him, and she slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him, showing him that she was right there with him, that he didn’t need to be afraid of saying the wrong thing to her, and speaking from his heart didn’t make him weak, or vulnerable.
She would never hurt him.
He kissed along her jaw and whispered in her ear.
“I think I have an idea… and really… don’t judge me.”
CHAPTER 12
Don’t judge him?
Ember wasn’t sure what to think as Cobalt lowered her to her feet and stepped back from her, seizing her hand. He tugged her with him and she followed in a daze, mind running over what idea he could have had that had him wanting her not to judge him because of it.
He led the way up the steps to the deck and into his cabin.
Her eyes darted around as he released her hand, taking everything in the long room in as she saw it for the first time, from the small and modern kitchen area where she stood, to the stone fireplace on the right wall and sleek dark grey couch that stood in front of it before her.
Cobalt moved between the wooden coffee table and the unlit fireplace, heading for the far end of the cabin. When he reached it, he opened one cupboard and then the next, looking for something.
What?
The answer became apparent as he made a small noise of triumph and closed the doors, revealing an item in his hand.
Climbing rope.
“What do you need that—oh.” Her eyes widened as the reason he needed it hit her, and the blush that burned her cheeks matched the one on his as he glanced at the rope, a touch of uncertainty in his golden eyes.
Now she could see why he had asked her not to judge him.
“It… well… ah… it seems the safest course if we’re going to… you know.” Where was the brash and confident male she had always known Cobalt to be?
She had seen him brawl with his brothers, had seen him charm other females when he had been younger, and had seen him argue his point until he was blue in the face.
The male stood before her was such a contrast to that one.
Because it was her?
The reason for his worry and his lack of confidence, and the flicker of shame she could feel in him, hit her and it hit her hard.
“You said that it’s always been me.” As those words left her lips, his eyes slowly lifted to lock with hers again. They were unguarded, open, all of his feelings on show as he stood there with the rope dangling from his right hand, a look that was somewhere between hopeful and defeated on his handsome face. “How long is always?”
His throat worked on a hard swallow, he glanced away and then back at her. “A little over two decades.”
He had gone two decades without a female’s touch, and now she was asking him to make love with her. He was right, and she was asking the impossible from him. Not only had he been celibate all that time, but she was his fated one, and she could see in his eyes that he was aware there had never been anyone for her, that she was untouched.
His fingers flexed around the rope and he shifted position, placing more of his weight on his other foot.
“We don’t have—”
“I want to.” Ember cut him off before he could finish.
They were doing this.
Even if she had to tie him up.
It would help him by setting his mind at ease, eliminating the fear that the need to claim her might cause him to hurt her and allowing him to enjoy what was going to happen between them.
Still, her heart thundered at the thought of tying him up. Just the image of him in her head, all trussed up to his bed and trusting her as he made himself vulnerable, was enough to have heat flooding her.
An intense and overwhelming need to make that happen, to have him submit to her and take things into her own hands, to seduce this glorious male, her fated one, and satisfy her instinct to mate rushed through her and she trembled.
If just the thought was enough to have her dizzy with need, aching all over, she wasn’t sure how she was going to handle the sight of such a powerful male at her mercy.
What if she was the one to lose control?
This need, her instincts, felt too powerful, were already in danger of consuming her.
Fuck, she needed to get her hands on him.
She needed to rub her bare body against the hard length of his and feel his strength. She needed to breathe him in, to taste his skin, to kiss and lick him all over until he was desperate for her.
Begging for her.
She needed to make this male shake for her as fiercely as she shook with a need of him, had to push him until he was as crazy and wild as she was, until he surrendered to instinct and took her.
Claimed her.
“Ember,” he growled low, and she didn’t dial back the hunger running rampant through her, couldn’t have brought it to heel even if she had tried.
She didn’t want to push him, but she wasn’t going to hide from him anymore either.
She needed him. Fiercely. Desperately.
She wanted him to know that. She wanted him to feel the desire beating in her veins and know it was because of him.
Those strong fingers flexed around the rope again, the muscles of his arm and chest shifting with them, a tempting flash of the strength he had at his disposal.
Strength that could easily prove too much for a simple bit of rope.
If he wanted to break it, what would stop him?
Cobalt looked down at it. “You’ll tie it tightly… tight enough I can feel it… and it’ll keep me in check. I swear.”
He didn’t look certain it would as his eyes flickered between the rope and her.
Ember nodded and moved towards him, kicking off her sneakers as she went, leaving them on the rug beneath his coffee table. The sheepskin was soft beneath her feet, cushioning them, filling her mind with a vision of making love with Cobalt on it in front of the fire.
Later.
Her first time looked as if it wasn’t going to be traditional by a long stretch, but it would at least be in a bed.
Her nerves rose at that, at the thought she was really going to do this. She was going to sleep with Cobalt, was going to give herself to him. He was going to be the one to ease her need to mate, and gods, when it was over, she was sure he would be so much more than that.
Not quite her mate, not yet, but he would be close to that role.
She lifted her hand as she reached him and placed it on the rope, skimmed it up the soft thick vines to his hand and held it as she looked up into his eyes.
“I trust you, Cobalt. With or without something like this holding you back, you would do all in your power to keep me safe.” She let her hand dro
p to the rope again and took it from him, heart in her throat as she looked down at it. “You need this though. I understand that. So just this once, I’ll do what you want.”
His eyes were wide when she looked up at him again, filled with disbelief. Because she had made it clear this wasn’t a one-time deal?
He didn’t resist her as she took hold of his other hand and led him towards the separate room on the left of the main living area. He trailed behind her, his breathing uneven, and she sensed the struggle in him as she felt his eyes on the back of her head.
On her nape.
His need ran deep, so powerful that it roused one of her own and filled her with an urge to turn to face him, seize his nape and pull him down to her so she could lick it and tease it with her fangs.
Gods.
Maybe she needed to be tied up too?
Her bite wouldn’t trigger a bond, but it would certainly drive Cobalt over the edge by igniting his need to bite her there.
If that happened, she doubted he would be able to restrain himself. Tying him up would only go so far towards helping him retain control. Showing him that she wanted to be his mate like that, through an act of aggression that few females indulged because it was considered something that only males should do, would be like flashing a huge green light at him.
In his current state, wound up by the need to ease her and the thought of being the first male to touch her like this, and the fact he hadn’t slept with a female in decades, he would be a slave to his instincts as he had been in the cave.
There was a chance he might hurt her in his need to claim her.
He would hate himself if he did.
So as much as she wanted to bite him, as fiercely as the need to claim him rang in her bones and sang in her soul, she had to hold it back and wait.
When the season waned and released her from its hold, and Cobalt was no longer feeling the pressing need to ease her and was feeling more relaxed about being with her, then she would sink her aching fangs into that sweet tempting nape of his and shove him right over the edge.
Gods, it was hard to wait to do that though.
She wanted to be his mate right now, ached to stake a claim on him so no other female could.
He was hers.
She growled at that, the low snarl leaving her lips before she could do anything to stop it, and tensed as she realised what she had done. She had never made such a vicious sound before.
Cobalt’s soft chuckle eased the nerves that flashed through her and the shame that burned her cheeks.
“That sounded a mite possessive.”
Before she could say that it wasn’t, he swept her up into his arms, spun her to face him and kissed her as he backed her towards the wall. She moaned as her spine hit it, her free hand coming down on his shoulder to clutch him as she kissed him back.
When she arched towards him, pressing her body against his, he broke away from her lips and growled low in his throat, the sound rumbling through her and thrilling her.
“Now that definitely sounded possessive.” She threaded her fingers through his platinum hair, gripped the longer lengths and tugged him to her for another kiss.
“Sweetheart,” he murmured between breath-stealing kisses. “I’m all about possessive when it comes to you.”
She tipped her head back as he broke away from her lips again and moaned as he trailed his lips down her throat, leaving fire in their wake.
“I go mad just thinking about another male looking at these curves.” He gripped her hips, slid his hands over them and around to her bottom, and she gasped as he lifted her and wedged his hips between her thighs.
His low moan as he pressed his hard cock against her sent a hot achy shiver bolting through her and she couldn’t stop herself from rubbing against him, writhing up and down his length.
“Not as mad as I get whenever a female looks at you.” She twined his hair around her fingers, yanked his head back and seized his lips again, swallowing his groan.
The sound was purely masculine, had another thrill rolling through her to light her up and boost her courage.
He growled when she gripped his shoulders and pushed him back so she could look at him. Wild blond hair caressed his brow and stuck up all over the place, ruffled by her fingers. Bright golden eyes framed with dark lashes held her mesmerised. Bowed sinful lips parted, reddened by her kiss, beckoning her for another. He was sin made flesh. An angel that made her want to weep as she looked at him, eyes tracing the straight line of his jaw and sculpted cheekbones, and the regal blade of his nose.
No sculptor could make a male more beautiful than him.
No angel even came close.
His eyes softened, the warmth that rose in them hitting her hard. He had never looked at her like that before, and she had never seen him look at another female that way either.
As if she was everything he had ever wanted, and all that he needed.
As if he loved her.
He was everything she had ever wanted, and all she needed.
Gods, she loved him.
He gasped as she pulled him to her and she swallowed it in another kiss that turned choppy and rough as her emotions got the better of her, as need swelled within her and that possessive side of her she was sure would always exist when it came to Cobalt screamed at her to make him belong to her.
Ember hooked the twisted rope around the back of his neck, gripped it in both hands above his shoulders and held him to her as she kissed him, devoured his lips and stroked her tongue along his emerging fangs.
He groaned and shuddered, his fingers flexing against her bottom, and she joined him as he pushed his hips forwards, pressing his rigid shaft against her core.
Damn, she needed more than just this teasing.
As if he knew her thoughts, Cobalt dropped her, clamped his hand around her wrist and pulled her towards the door to her left. Her heart thudded as she entered his bedroom, her eyes immediately locking on the large bed to her right.
The sudden burst of light as Cobalt switched on the bedside lamp startled her as it jolted her from staring at the dark blue quilt draped over the double mattress and she tensed.
He looked over his broad shoulders at her, a flicker of concern crossing his grey-gold eyes.
She smiled to show him that it wasn’t what they were about to do that had caused her to tense, or anything he had done really. She just hadn’t anticipated the light coming on, had been so caught up in staring at his bed, at imagining him stretched out on it, his wrists bound above his head, that it had caught her off guard.
He released her wrist and moved past her, and she struggled with her nerves as they began to mount. She let her eyes follow him around the room, foolishly hoping that if she focused on him, those nerves would fade into the background.
The sight of him drawing the dark drapes closed across the window at the foot of the bed to shut the world out only made them worse. She gripped the rope in front of her hips, heart hammering a frantic rhythm and hands shaking as he turned to face her.
She needed a distraction, something to take her mind off what they were doing.
Cobalt gave it to her by reaching over his head and tugging his t-shirt off in one swift motion.
Ember swallowed hard as he tossed it onto a wooden chair in the far corner of the bedroom, the sight of his muscles flexing and bunching beneath his golden skin mesmerising her and filling her with an itch to cross the short span of wooden floorboards to him so she could touch him.
Fuck, she needed to touch him.
The way his eyes shot to her, wide and filled with surprise, had another blush scalding her cheeks.
“I said that out loud, didn’t I?” She cursed when her voice trembled as badly as the rest of her.
He nodded stiffly.
In fact, every inch of him had gone rigid.
His eyes slowly transformed to molten gold, his pupils devouring that precious colour as he stared at her, and a thrill went through her when she reali
sed she had affected him with her words, had instigated another battle within him, one he looked as if he was losing as his breathing accelerated.
She kept still, aware that if she moved, even if it was as small as a twitch, she would trigger a reaction in him.
He stared at her for minutes that seemed to stretch into hours, breathing hard and fast, his eyes blazing gold as he hunted her and fought the instincts she had roused in him.
The need to seize her and dominate her.
He startled her when he suddenly twisted towards the bed and gruffly said, “Tie me up, before I fuck this all up.”
Ember nodded as he glanced at her, concern and fear mingling in his eyes to reach out to her, tugging at her emotions and filling her with a need to do as he wanted, because he honestly believed he would mess things up with her and he was terrified of that happening.
So she would give him all the peace of mind she could.
It didn’t stop her mouth from drying out and pulse from kicking up another notch as he pressed one knee into the mattress and then the other, and crawled to the head of the bed. He slumped onto his back, sucked down a breath and reached above his head to grip the thick steel bars of the headboard so hard the wooden beam that ran across the top of them groaned under the pressure.
When he exhaled, his eyes landed on her, and those nerves she kept trying to crush came close to overwhelming her as he nodded.
Ember stepped forwards, each one a test of strength as her legs shook. The feel of his eyes on her had her lifting hers to meet them, and she found her courage again as she looked into them and saw how much he needed this.
Not being tied up.
But her.
He needed her.
Cobalt needed her.
Her fated male needed her.
Her instincts as his fated one took over, had her kneeling on the bed and taking hold of his left wrist.
“You remember that knot Rath taught you when you came to save my ass from that avalanche?” His deep voice was rough, strained as he stared at her. She nodded, and he tipped his head back, his eyes shifting to his left wrist. “Loop the rope around one wrist, feed it through the bars, and loop it around the other, and keep repeating it until you’ve used most of it. Do it tightly… and when you’re happy, tie my wrists together with that knot.”
Craved by her Cougar (Cougar Creek Mates Shifter Romance Series Book 4) Page 12
