“No, I can handle it.” Maybe. Somehow. Dear God, please give me the strength to handle the obstacles that cross my path.
Her friend eased back to her own shop, casting wary glances over her shoulder while Ruthie struggled to gather her wits enough to face the man who still sneaked into her dreams at night.
Almost guiltily, Ruthie stuffed the kissing dolls back into one of the boxes she hadn’t finished unpacking. Pretending to busy herself with polishing an antique beveled-glass jewelry casket, she watched him yank open the door and blink off the effects of the bright sun as he stepped inside.
The first thing she’d always noticed about Gray, physically, was his erect military bearing. He moved like a man on a mission. Three and a half of the four years after she’d received his breakup letter, the army had either kept him overseas or sent him to a distant stateside assignment. The past six months since his return to Richmond and civilian life, she had carefully choreographed her visits to his grandparents to avoid encountering Gray. She suspected he had done the same.
He had changed a lot since she’d last seen him. The casual blue T-shirt strained at biceps strengthened during his time in the army, and he actually seemed a little taller, which could have been merely an illusion from his don’t-mess-with-me attitude. But the biggest change she noticed was in his face. Pain—and maybe fear?—lurked in his handsome features.
He took off his sunglasses and pushed a hand through his wind-ruffled hair. When his gaze landed on Ruthie, she caught a flash of an expression she couldn’t identify before his handsome features turned grim. He walked toward her, his movements effortless and silent.
Ruthie turned to face him. She wished that they could erase what had gone wrong between them and start over. She wanted him to believe again. In the God he’d begun to doubt while in Afghanistan. And in a future together with her.
But that wasn’t going to happen. Certainly not judging by the look on his face. If his expression showed her so bluntly “it’s not going to happen,” then what might hers be revealing to him? She’d always been told her emotions were like clear glass...anyone could read right through them, and she prayed a futile prayer that he would not see how much she’d missed him. How much she still hurt from his rejection.
What a fool she was to ever believe that she’d gotten over him. She lifted her chin. The smart thing to do would be to simply stand there and treat him like an ordinary customer, but everything in her being urged her to beg him to take her back...on any terms.
“It’s Sobo,” he said, ignoring the formality of a hello and getting straight to the point. His voice sounded strained, as if he had run the entire way here. “She’s been taken to the emergency room, and it’s serious.”
Ruthie caught fear rippling in his coffee-brown eyes, and her heart went out to him, while her mind flashed through a thousand possibilities. “Did she hurt herself again?” she asked. “How did she get out of bed?”
“I’m not sure of all the details,” he said. “I called Pop from work to check on him and Sobo, and the rescue squad was already loading her into the ambulance. I’ve already spread the word to the rest of the family.” He shifted where he stood, the nervous action revealing his unspoken desire to go to his grandparents and stand by them during this difficult time. “There’s a blood clot in her leg. A complication from the hip fracture. The danger is that it could break loose and travel to her lung.” He reached for her hand to urge her along. “Come on, I’ll drive you to the hospital. Pop shouldn’t be alone in the waiting room. He needs us.”
Ruthie started toward the door with him, then turned back to get her purse from behind the counter. She reached to move a room divider to close off the shop to customers, but a moment of panicked indecision swept over her. Her gaze landed on an eavesdropping Savannah.
“Go!” said Savannah with a sweeping motion of her hands. “Paisley and I will take care of your customers.”
Relieved, Ruthie thanked her and raced out the door with Gray.
* * *
He’d hoped—since he no longer prayed—that he wouldn’t feel a thing for Ruthie when they met again. Stupid of him to think it for even one short minute. Everything he’d ever felt for her came rushing back the instant he caught sight of those big greenish-brown eyes and those wild freckles. Twenty-nine. There were twenty-nine freckles, and he’d taken delight in counting each and every one, before he’d learned the greater delight of kissing them.
How she’d laughed. But then, that was Ruthie. She always laughed. How could he have forgotten? Fine. He hadn’t forgotten, any more than he’d forgotten her generosity, her business acumen, her... He scowled. The bottomless faith she possessed that kept him from ever taking her for his wife.
They had been good together—like a key in a lock. But then that fateful day in Afghanistan had happened, shaking and even breaking the faith he’d lived by all his life. As a result, he’d lost an important part that had made them fit together so perfectly. Ever the optimist, she had believed they could work through the problem, but he hadn’t wanted to lead her on when he knew that his foundering belief made them incompatible. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her—to hurt either of them—with the hope that their differences could be overcome.
In order to protect her from his own traitorously weak will, he had turned away from her. Refused to answer her letters that asked questions for which he himself did not know the answers.
To be honest, it had been hard to lock away his feelings for Ruthie. To shove his emotions aside and move on, putting one foot in front of the other.
But that was then. He was a different person now, with different beliefs. His time in the army had taken him through some harsh experiences, led him to make some difficult decisions, but it had also taught him to get the assignment done, no matter what was going on inside his head and heart. Being around Ruthie meant he needed to barricade his heart. Not so much for himself as to protect her.
The inconvenient truth was that he still loved her. And for that reason, he could not let her know how much she still meant to him.
On the way to the hospital, Gray tried not to think about the woman in the passenger seat, so he used the short ride to fill her in on the details. Pop had left Naoko in the ground-floor bedroom for only a short time to prepare her favorite meal of udon noodles. When he returned with the lunch tray a short while later, Naoko’s leg had become painful and swollen. Her doctor had warned them of potentially fatal complications after the hip surgery, so Pop had promptly called the rescue squad. A follow-up call revealed that they’d arrived at the hospital and Naoko had been whisked off for tests to see if the clot was starting to move. The worst-case possibility was that it could travel to her lungs and kill her.
When they arrived at the hospital, they were told she was being moved to a room to stay overnight. After she was settled in, someone would give them the room number. He led Ruthie to a quiet corner of the waiting room to wait for Pop to come tell them that Sobo was going to be fine. That was the hope anyway.
Gray leaned back in the waiting room chair and covered his eyes with the crook of his arm. He had no idea what had prompted him to swing by Abundance and pick up Ruthie. At the time, he had told himself it was because her presence would be a comfort to Pop. Gray could have just as easily told her the news and let her find her own way to the hospital, but some inner urge had propelled him to the store Ruthie had opened shortly after their breakup...compelled him to draw her close during this time of need.
Until now he’d been doing so well keeping his distance. Pretending he and Ruthie didn’t mean anything to each other anymore. Now, with this one short exposure to the pretty redhead with the soft-spoken demeanor and gentle encouragement, the years and distance melted away. If he was honest with himself, he’d have to admit he needed her as much as Pop did. Maybe more. The realization made him uncomfortable. For now, he’d stick w
ith the excuse he’d given her on the car ride over here...that Sobo and Pop would want to see her after Sobo came out of the emergency room.
A few minutes later, he felt more than heard Ruthie get up from the couch beside him and pace the floor. Before that she’d been staring at her lap, her lips moving in silent prayer. He doubted her heartfelt pleas would do Sobo any good, but if the lifelong ritual brought Ruthie comfort, that was all that mattered.
“Pop’s been gone a long time.” Concern laced her smooth voice. “I thought all they had to do was wheel Sobo to the in-patient floor and Pop would come tell us her room number. They could have moved her to Tokyo and back by now.”
He dropped his arm and sat upright. “They probably have to hook her up to drips and get her settled first. That always takes time.”
Ruthie stopped pacing and returned to the seat beside him. “I’m glad you came for me,” she said without looking at him. “Sobo and Pop mean a lot to me.”
He studied her while she toyed with an old-fashioned amethyst ring on her right hand. Her left hand remained bare, leading him to wonder who she might be dating now. Although his grandparents occasionally mentioned her in passing, they always steered clear of information that might be too personal...or too painful.
“I know,” he said softly. “And you mean a lot to them.”
With her hazel gaze fixed on him, her steady assessment seemed to be more in response to what he didn’t say than what actually came out of his mouth. To be fair to her, though, he wouldn’t tell her the rest...that she also meant a lot to him.
Even if it was the truth.
He wished he could believe again. It would be so much simpler if he did. But after being abandoned by God during his time of greatest need—an event that had resulted in the death of a young man who’d counted on him and God for protection—Gray saw no point in pretending. And he refused to lie to Ruthie by letting her think he still believed. Why couldn’t he be like other guys? Just tell a girl what she wanted to hear and reap the benefits of her affection. He could have easily continued on with their marriage plans and let her comfort him through the grief he’d endured in that hellish place called Afghanistan. But that wouldn’t have been fair to her. And his daddy hadn’t raised him that way.
Gray had been barely five years old when his father had pulled him aside prior to deployment to Saudi Arabia, explaining that during his absence Gray was to serve as the man of the family. “Your job is to take care of the people you love,” he’d said with great seriousness. “Look after your mother and sister, even when you’d rather play with your race cars.”
His father was retired from the army now and working in a civilian job, but Gray still carried the responsibility—the duty—to protect the ones he loved. Though he may have failed on occasion, it wasn’t from lack of trying. His mouth tightened. There was one person he would never fail. No matter what it took, he’d protect her to the very best of his ability.
He’d never dreamed, though, that taking care of Ruthie would mean having to give her up.
* * *
In Naoko’s room, Ruthie greeted Gray’s parents and his sister, Catie, with hugs, then took a seat on the deep windowsill to leave room for the others. Gray sidled around to Ruthie’s side of the bed and stood beside her. It was weird how his calm presence made her feel that all would turn out well.
Naoko’s pulmonologist came in, listened to her lungs and proceeded to fill the family in on her condition.
“It’s not unusual for patients to develop a thrombus after a hip fracture.” The blond-haired doctor’s shirt gapped at the neck, around which a tie had been tightened to take up the slack. He appeared to be just out of medical school, but he sounded very knowledgeable as he explained the risk from the clot that had developed near Naoko’s surgery site. “A thrombus is a fancy word for blood clot. If it travels to the lungs, then it’s called a pulmonary embolism, which is what we’re concerned about right now.”
Gray leaned forward and touched his grandmother’s hand. “I thought the heparin she’s been taking since surgery was supposed to prevent it.”
“That was the hope, but it looks like she’ll need something stronger to dissolve the clot. There are some side effects from the stronger medication, but surgery to remove the thrombus is even riskier. So we’re going to keep her for several days to watch and wait for it to dissolve.”
Ruthie’s heart sank. She could read between those lines. It would be touch and go for the next few days until she was out of harm’s way.
“No worries,” Naoko said, her voice tired from the strain of her ordeal. Her skin, normally a warm amber color, now held a grayish cast. Her fingers closed around her grandson’s hand, and she pointed at the ceiling. “I am in God’s hands. He will get me through.”
Ruthie gave a silent prayer of thanks that Naoko was still with them. She had no doubt God had been with her all along. Her condition could have become much worse. Naoko wasn’t out of the woods yet, but she would receive the benefit of the prayers of her and the family—most of the family—and the church.
She wondered whether Naoko’s words were intended to assure the family or herself. Their effect on Gray, however, was clear. A muscle twitched along his temple, and he extended his hand to the doctor.
“Thank you for all you’ve done so far, Doctor.”
They followed him into the hall and lingered together after the doctor left. Ruthie wanted to reassure Gray that, as Naoko had said, she was in God’s hands. “Everyone who knows Sobo—and many who don’t—will be praying for her,” she said, laying a hand on his thick arm. “She’s a strong woman, and God’s healing touch will help her recover.”
Gray turned his gaze away from her. “I’d rather count on the skill of the doctor and the medicine she’s receiving. That’s what will save her.”
Ruthie reacted as if she’d been punched in the gut. In a manner of speaking, she had been. Church had been an important part of their upbringing, both hers and Gray’s. Whenever healing occurred, it was understood that although physicians and medications were valuable tools in the process, true healing ultimately came from God. He was the one who gave the doctors wisdom and enabled the medicines to work. To deny God’s role in Sobo’s recovery sounded to her ears as if Gray was offering his loved one up to the whims of chance and limited earthly abilities.
“Then I suppose we have all the bases covered,” she said, letting him know without arguing the point that although he dismissed all but what he could see with his own eyes, she and the rest of the family would continue to put their faith in prayer.
He must certainly know, without her saying so, that God was the great healer. What he didn’t know was that for the past four years she had prayed every day for God to heal Gray’s shaken faith. Once her prayers were answered and Gray opened his heart enough to let God back in, she would ask God to make room in there for her, as well.
Chapter Two
“Thanks for your help yesterday, Paisley. I don’t know what I would have done without you and Savannah pitching in to keep Gleanings open while I was at the hospital.” Ruthie took a seat at the counter in Milk & Honey and gently pushed aside a ceramic Peter Rabbit to make room for her elbows.
Paisley moved behind the counter and flipped the switch to backlight what she called her higgledy-piggledy wall...shelves divided into cubes and filled with various sorts of teapots, spoon collections, antique cups, honeypots, snow globes and porcelain crumpet baskets. A British transplant, Paisley loved sharing bits of her homeland with customers.
In the seating area behind Ruthie, tables were given the illusion of privacy by separating them with low shelves strategically filled with packets of flavored teas, jars of jam, notecards, knickknacks, tea cozies and anything British to entice diners to take home a little memento of their Milk & Honey experience. Over to the side of the store, tuck
ed away in locked display cases, were the real treasures—silver tea sets, rare water pitchers and ornate sugar bowls. The more unusual the better, and if the piece had an interesting story behind it, better still.
On the opposite side of the dining counter, Paisley lit the fire under a cast-iron skillet and set a glass of orange juice in front of Ruthie.
“No problem. I was happy to help,” Paisley replied. Her accent always sounded so elegant and cultured. It was a huge draw for the customers. She refilled the coffee cup of an older gentleman sporting a white handlebar mustache and handed Ruthie a sheet featuring this week’s specials. “We sold a few of Mr. Bristow’s gewgaws yesterday, and a lovely Asian lady was quite excited about a quaint little Japanese doll she found.”
The kissing dolls. Ruthie hadn’t planned to keep them, but neither had she anticipated their sale would hit her so hard in the solar plexus.
“That’s great,” she said, her voice not quite matching Paisley’s enthusiasm. “Was it Chou from the Tokyo Market down the street? Sobo loves to shop there.”
“No, I’ve seen this lady a couple of times before, so I assume she’s local, but I don’t know who she is. Speaking of Mrs. Bristow, what’s the latest on her status?”
Ruthie gave her a full update with the unfortunate news that the redness and swelling on Naoko’s leg showed no improvement.
“She’ll be fine,” her friend reassured. Taking advantage of the momentary lull, she poured herself a cup of tea and flashed a guilty grin before she snitched one of the biscotti from the tin. “The whole church is praying for her. And besides, she’s a tough lady. Remember the time when we were in university, and she climbed up on the roof of our house to replace some shingles?”
Love Inspired June 2014 - Bundle 2 of 2: Single Dad CowboyThe Bachelor Meets His MatchUnexpected Reunion Page 42
