A lot had changed between them, but the one thing that remained the same about Gray was his fierce protectiveness. They might not be a couple anymore, but she knew that wouldn’t stop him from doing everything in his power to keep her safe.
“You really don’t need to go to the trouble,” she assured him. “I’m sure we’ll be fine until I make an appointment for someone to install an alarm.”
Gray’s engineering degree had been put to use securing facilities and equipment during his time in the army. Since his return home, he’d parlayed that experience into a thriving business designing and installing security systems for businesses and government offices. Asking him to outfit her little shop with a security camera and alarm would be like using a howitzer to kill a fly.
He ripped the list off the pad of paper and stuffed it in her hand. She moved to pull away, but he held her in his grip.
“Don’t delay,” he warned. “Wishing and hoping are not enough to keep you safe.”
Once again, his protective side was showing. The odds of the prowler making an unwanted appearance at the Abundance shops were slim, but when Gray was in defender mode, arguing with him was pointless.
And though he didn’t say it, his meaning came through loud and clear.
Prayers aren’t enough, either.
* * *
That night in bed, Ruthie’s prayers weren’t enough to take her thoughts off Gray and his steadfast resistance to all things related to faith and the Bible. Like a cold-case investigator who keeps searching for clues in years-old evidence, she reached into her nightstand drawer and withdrew the letter that he’d sent her from Afghanistan. The paper, now tattered, held a place in her Bible in the book of Ruth.
That Wednesday night at church, she’d been excited when Sobo had handed her the old-fashioned letter from her sweetheart and her family and friends had watched expectantly as she’d read it. Something had felt wrong in the first sentence when he’d told her, “I’m sending this letter by way of my grandparents so you won’t be alone when you read what I have to say.”
Even now, four years later, a rock still formed in the pit of her stomach whenever she read those troubling words. But just as she had done back then, she forced herself to continue.
Something happened that has caused me to question my beliefs. I won’t burden you by sharing the things I’ve seen, but suffice it to say that God—if there is such a being—let me down when I needed Him most. While I’ve been wrestling with this bad blow over the past few months, you’ve been steadfastly sending encouraging letters and emails. You must have sensed I was going through a tough time, so you tried to cheer me up and urged me to lean on God. I love you, and I loved receiving each and every one of your notes, but they only served to illustrate how far apart we’ve grown.
She teared up at the knowledge that whatever had caused Gray to lose his faith was something he would not—perhaps could not—discuss with her or anyone else. Pop, a veteran of the Korean War, had urged her to give Gray time. Give him time to sort through the unspeakable experiences he’d endured.
But how much time would it take? For his sake, she prayed he would find answers to the questions that troubled him.
She forced herself to read that paragraph again, knowing the answer to Gray’s trouble lay in his belief that God had abandoned him at a time when he needed Him most.
Just as it had done that fateful night, the sound of blood pounded in her ears, nearly deafening her, and she became aware that her breathing was fast and shallow. Steeling herself to the pain that still stabbed every time she read his words, she sucked in a deep breath and blinked back the moisture that clouded her vision.
Although I’m not sure how I feel about God right now, I do believe there’s something to the warning in the Bible about being yoked together with unbelievers. I love you and know how much you love the Lord, but I can’t pretend to believe so I can be with you. It’s not fair to either of us.
Like a passerby at a horrible traffic accident, all she could do was continue to stare at the page in front of her and read what came next.
It may hurt now, and believe me when I say it hurts me more than I can express, but it’s best for both of us if I release you from our engagement so you can find someone else. Someone whose faith is as strong as your own.
You’re a good person, Ruthie, and you deserve someone who won’t hold you back. I’ll understand if you hate me for this, but I will always care for you, even though we can’t be together. I wish you much love and happiness.
Gray
A fist clenched around Ruthie’s throat, and once again the room threatened to close in on her. She refolded the letter and returned it to the drawer, as if that simple action might take away the fresh pain that hit her every time she read it.
Hate was something she could never feel for Gray. Anguish, confusion, yes. Although she didn’t fully comprehend the reason behind his change of heart, she’d never doubted his motives to do what he considered best for both of them.
Too numb to cry again, she leaned back against the pillow and pressed her hands to her forehead. Because of her faith, she had lost favor with Gray—the man she’d believed, and still did believe, that God intended for her.
With the Bible resting on her lap, she returned the letter to mark the pages of the book of Ruth.
“Please bring him back, Lord,” she said. “To You and to me.”
* * *
The following evening after the shops closed, Gray pocketed the parking lot surveillance tape he’d collected from the neighboring classic-auto supply store and walked through the Abundance building to search for possible security problems. His civilian career involved planning high-end security systems for large businesses and government agencies, which might have been the reason Ruthie had tried to decline his offer to set up a system here. But he suspected her reluctance was less about the size of the job, a departure from his usual contracts, and more about him.
After he was done with this, he’d cut out of here and go watch the tape. With a little luck, maybe it would offer up not only an image of the woman who’d bought his grandmother’s doll but also a clear view of her car’s license tag.
Ruthie and her friends buzzed around Milk & Honey in preparation for an evening neighborhood event.
Nikki walked by with an armload of food and plopped a plate of finger sandwiches in his hands. “Mind giving me a hand with this? We’ll just set them on the table out back.”
He followed her outside, where a few Ellwood Avenue neighbors from across the alley had begun gathering. A cheerful yellow cloth covered the imperfections of a beat-up picnic table. A couple of pitchers of sweet tea and lemonade sat at one end, so he set the plate of sandwiches at the opposite end with the meat pies, cookies and banana pudding.
“Oh, good. You’re staying for our Sunset Blessings gathering.” Paisley stuck an empty paper plate in his hands. “Help yourself. There’s plenty of food.”
Blessings? He’d already managed to bow out of attending the church prayer group last night after visiting Naoko with Pop and Ruthie. And he had no desire to attend a neighborhood kumbaya meeting, even if it did involve delicious-looking food.
“I don’t— I mean...”
Ruthie seemed to sense his discomfort and attempted to reassure him. “Sunset Blessings is just an opportunity for us to be grateful at the end of the day for all we have and to share our abundance with others. Paisley started it by saving leftover goodies from Milk & Honey for people in need. It eventually grew to include our residential and business neighbors. Now everybody brings a little something, and folks enjoy not having to cook a couple of nights a week.”
That was when he noticed the “people in need.” A scruffy-looking pair of men and a girl who appeared to be in her teens joined the group with hellos and nods. The girl set a plastic cup with
white flowers on the table, and the men waited for the ladies to help themselves to the food before filling their own plates.
They seemed harmless enough, but Gray decided it might be a good idea to stick around and see who else showed up. Though he commended Paisley and the others for sharing their bounty with those less fortunate, he couldn’t help worrying that the free offerings might draw vagrants and other disreputable types.
Paisley cleared her throat and raised a hand for attention. Once all had quieted, she bowed her head and spoke in a clear tone. “Lord, thank You for this food. Please bless it, bless our neighbors and bless Daisy on her upcoming job interview. Amen.”
Gray stared at the ground during the blessing, thinking not about what she said but about how she sounded so conversational, as if she and God were close friends. A moment of sadness speared his chest. Once upon a time, he’d had that sort of relationship. A relationship where he’d felt confident his prayers were heard and would be answered.
He raised his head, and the others applauded the job-seeking girl, who blushed under all the attention.
Ruthie leaned in and touched his arm. “Daisy’s mother is no longer in the picture, and her father, Mark, was laid off last year and can only get occasional day jobs. They’ve been living in his car, but he insists Daisy finish high school. She’s hoping to start working the day after graduation so she can afford an apartment for both of them.”
He nodded, sympathizing with their predicament. “That must have been a tough decision. Choosing between her education and sleeping in a car or dropping out of school to work so they can sleep in a real bed.”
She indicated the older middle-aged man with a scraggly goatee who accompanied the father-daughter pair. “That’s Yard Dog. No one knows his real name. Paisley’s very fond of him, and we think he’s the reason she started this Sunset Blessings tradition.”
As unofficial host of the group, Paisley started a round of introductions. “And this is Gray Bristow, Ruthie’s—” Her eyes opened wide and she nervously pushed her hair behind her ear. “Her, um...”
“Family friend,” Ruthie supplied.
To anyone else her smile looked easy and relaxed. But Gray saw the tense lines at the corners of her mouth. People continued eating and chatting without a clue about the undercurrents between them.
What was he doing here? The more time he spent with Ruthie, the more time he wanted to spend with her. He had told himself the reason he stuck around this evening was to protect her from any unsavory types who might be drawn to the free food. But he was here because, deep down inside, he was drawn to Ruthie and all the goodness that was wrapped up in the total package. In truth, he was the one he should be protecting her from.
What he loved most about her was her unwavering faith...in God, in people, in the underdog. But if they were together again, his own lack of faith would weaken hers. Would weaken the fabric of who she was.
He should keep his distance. For her sake, if not his own. After they found Naoko’s doll, that was exactly what he would do. Stay a safe distance away. But right now she stood so close he could smell her shampoo. She smelled sweet, like apples, and reminded him of the fall weekends she and Naoko had spent preserving fruit from the tree in their backyard. As a young boy, he had always tried to avoid the hot, laborious canning duty that usually turned into a family event. But after Ruthie’s arrival, he had often “dropped by” and ended up spending the entire day helping out just so he could be in her company.
He finished off the food on his plate. No time like the present. But before he could say his goodbyes, a mounted police officer rode up and joined the group. Judging by the way everyone greeted him, he was a regular at the Sunset Blessings festivities.
Ruthie filled him in. “That’s Officer Worth. He rides by here after his shift almost every day to—” she made quote marks with her fingers “—keep an eye on things. We all think he has his eye on Paisley, but she acts more interested in his horse than in him.”
Sure enough, Nikki offered the officer a plate of food, and Paisley offered the horse an apple that she had already cut up for it.
Gray noticed the looks that passed between Ruthie and her friends. They were the same looks the others had exchanged each time he came to the shop.
Worth dismounted, but before he dug into the food, he cautioned everyone to be alert to any suspicious activity. Apparently, the prowler Pop had told them about last night had been spotted within a block of their shops.
“The break-ins occurred almost a mile away,” he said, “so the sightings in this neighborhood may have been a result of overactive imaginations. But better safe than sorry. Be sure to call and report any suspicious activity.”
Despite his words of assurance, a ripple of concern ran through the crowd.
A short while later, they began packing up, and leftovers were placed in plastic carryout containers conveniently left there by Paisley. Yard Dog and Mark gratefully accepted some of the extras.
Savannah waved to Daisy. “Don’t go yet. I want to show you this fabulous dress I found for your interview.”
Ruthie accompanied them inside, and Gray followed a few minutes later. By the time he joined them at Connecting Threads, Daisy had gone into the small bathroom located beyond the Milk & Honey kitchen and Savannah had retreated to the sewing machine at the back of her shop to thread the machine and make a small alteration to the dress.
He hated to come off as if he was judging the girl, but he finally gave in and voiced his concern. “Do you think it’s a good idea to let her go back there unsupervised? Your offices and the safe—”
Ruthie lifted a hand to stop his protest. “Daisy is a regular girl caught up in a difficult situation. I don’t think she’ll touch anything she wasn’t invited to.”
It was times like this when Gray worried that Ruthie had too much faith in others. Especially this particular underdog.
“Besides, the safe is locked,” she added, calming his concerns for the moment. “Sometimes I think you worry too much.”
Of course he worried. He’d experienced things most people had only seen on TV. To others, the bad things that could happen in life were merely a hypothetical possibility. To him, they were reality.
“We may be just ‘family friends,’” he said, referring to her description of their current relationship, “but I still care about you—and your friends—and don’t want anything bad to happen to any of you.”
She touched his wrist again. Every time she did that, he wanted to draw her into his arms and hold her as if nothing had ever come between them. But he couldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them to pretend that their differing beliefs could be overcome with a hug and wishful thinking.
“Have faith in us.” She stepped away, though he sensed her reluctance. “We’ll be fine.”
That was something he couldn’t do. He didn’t have faith in her abilities or in God to protect her. She was so trusting. So willing to believe the best about people. Fear dug at his heart, and he worried what might happen if she or her friends should encounter the prowler Officer Worth warned them about. Would Ruthie know what to do? Would she know how to protect herself?
He’d learned a few things during his time in the army. Some good, some bad. The bad had caused him to doubt what he used to believe in so easily. The good, he could share with Ruthie and perhaps protect her from harm. But it meant spending more time with her...time that would open up his heart to more temptation and pain.
He might regret what he was about to do, but it was better than trying to merely “have faith” that Ruthie would stay safe.
“I think you should take some self-defense classes,” he began.
“I don’t think—”
“I’ll teach the classes myself. At my office. You close early on Saturday, right?” At her nod, he continued. “Come to my o
ffice. Bring your friends.” He thought of the teenage girl living in the car. “Daisy, too.”
“That’s very sweet of you, but—”
There was only one way to convince her, and he didn’t hesitate using it. “Pop would really be disappointed if you turned this down.”
Ruthie looked away and fidgeted with her ponytail holder, buying time to consider his offer. And to consider what the enforced time together might do to the fragile threads holding them together as “family friends.” Would it bring them back together, or would it create a permanent divide in their relationship?
She had thought her feelings for Gray would die after all this time apart. But now she believed even more strongly than ever that he was the only man for her. He was a good man. Kind. Strong. And protective, not only of her but of her friends. What woman wouldn’t want a man like that?
The only two things standing between them were her belief and whatever had caused him to stop trusting in God. He saw her faith as the problem that had pushed them apart. But Ruthie suddenly saw it as the solution that could bring them back together.
Last night while reading her Bible before bed, a message had planted itself in her mind, promising her hope and a future. At the time, she hadn’t known why it had stood out for her. But now she became convinced it was a message for her to accept the opportunity to spend time with Gray.
Perhaps their spending time together during the self-defense lessons would allow him to see once again the personal values and core beliefs that had originally bonded them, first in friendship and later in love. All she had to do was take some self-defense classes with him and join him in recovering Naoko’s doll. God would do the rest.
Love Inspired June 2014 - Bundle 2 of 2: Single Dad CowboyThe Bachelor Meets His MatchUnexpected Reunion Page 45
